Personality Cafe banner
1 - 12 of 12 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
966 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
INTP here. I'm 23 and I work with this woman that I've had a crush on for a little while now. I only just started working there, but we had out first conversation today. Being INTP I can figure out PT in one conversation (usually). Just based on how she talks and presents herself and what I've noticed, she is total ESTP.

Anyway, she always smiles at me and winks at me, and I thought it was either her just being nice, or the fact that she is a flirt in general. Anyway, in our conversations she kept asking me all sorts of questions like "what college do you go to" and "what's your major", stuff like that. We are both really into psychology so we talked about that for a little while, but she's not a "long conversation" type person. She kept laughing at things I said that weren't really funny at all. Then again, she laughs at a lot of things, so...I don't know. At one point she laughed at something I said and reached out and touched my arm. Again, it could just be a friendly gesture and not anything worth over thinking. Then again, she seems to act different around me. I don't know, I try not to focus on other people too much when I'm not actively speaking with them.

I really admire her energy and friendliness, it kind of counteracts my introversion. I think that's why I'm attracted to her. I prefer Extroverted girls because they are so different from me. She seems to be really invested in our conversations, but she is easily distracted. Again, I don't know if she is just being nice or what. I might just be over thinking the whole thing, seeing patterns that aren't there because I want to see them. Any advice from an ESTP female would be helpful. I don't know what else to say on the matter, so if you need more information, feel free to ask and I will do my best to answer them.

As a side note, another co worker (friend) of mine (also female, ENFJ) said I was sexy because I automatically flirt without meaning to, and the lack of self awareness makes me "adorable". Not sure if that helps.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
69 Posts
oooo that's a tough one. I'm going to go ahead and say no for now. If i'm really interested in someone I'll be around them alot in nonchalant ways -- I'm just always around but the answer for that could easily be written off as something else. If you show interest that can really help. I also will asks you a ton of questions to keep the conversation going (cause I'm into you) and will touch you in some way as well as I notice I always grin really big or I try to play it real cool. Hope this helps. Let me know if you want some tips on how to 'lure' an estp female hahahah (I once had this huuuuuuge crush on an INTP, he wasn't interested though cause he said he never saw us 'working out').
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
966 Posts
Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Yeah, she's the kind of person who always seems to be talking to someone, and is very quick to go back and forth from person to person. She is ALWAYS smiling. Always. I wonder what can be so exciting during work, but I don't ask. This is what makes it so hard to tell if she likes me or not. We were in a group and I found that the questions she was asking me were more direct and personal. With everyone else she was just "oh did you hear about this and that?".

See, the way I'm thinking is, either she's going to be fascinated by the way I think and speak (I speak exactly the same way I type) or she is going to "not get it" and think I'm weird or annoying. The fact that she's a sensor may mean she has no interest in my abstract ideas, but you did say you had a huge crush on an INTP, so what do I know? I should also mention that I'm not a typical INTP. I am talkative and not shy in the slightest (though I much prefer to be alone). I speak slightly robotic, but with a bit of wit to it. I'm a bit of a smart ass too. Not the kind of smart ass that you find irritating, but the kind that most people can't help but like. I do it in a very subtle way.

Being an INTP, I am terrible at reading signs like this. I over think everything until I give up and basically have no idea. The thing is...it is work, so I don't want to make a move unless I know for sure. I'm not taking the chance that she might just freak out and say I was sexually harassing her (you never know) and I'll get fired.

What are some ways I can get my point across that I like her without saying or doing anything that may come across as suggestive? What would you appreciate if it was you?
 

·
Registered
Beta Gang - EIE 3w4 - 368 sx/so
Joined
·
4,750 Posts
the fact that she's a sensor may mean she has no interest in my abstract ideas
But ... why ?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
966 Posts
Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Sensors tend to be more interested in stuff like "did you hear about so and so cheating on his wife", or "gee, the traffic seems crazy today", or "did you hear who stole money out of the boss's safe?". Theories don't seem to entice sensors too much. But hey, you may be right, she may be fascinated by the way I think. I just know that, of the sensors I met in the past...they don't seem to "get it" when it comes to what I enjoy talking about. They kind of just say "uh huh...cool" and that's it. I have no interest whatsoever in discussing daily activities. I do daily activities...every day. I have no reason to talk about them. I could care less what goes on around the work place, unless it has to do with me.

But hey, you may be right. Who knows?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
101 Posts
You are a very classic INTP from what you've said and the INTPs I know, my best friend is an INTP and isn't shy at all, although it is nearly impossible to get her out of the house. Can't help you on the ESFP thing. The one I know well, even though I'm good at reading him, the things he does I often find quite odd.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
966 Posts
Discussion Starter · #7 ·
You are a very classic INTP from what you've said and the INTPs I know, my best friend is an INTP and isn't shy at all, although it is nearly impossible to get her out of the house. Can't help you on the ESFP thing. The one I know well, even though I'm good at reading him, the things he does I often find quite odd.
I guess you learn something new every day. I always assumed INTPs were the type to be shy and not want to talk to any women. I do admit that it is hard for me to actually ask a girl out (I over think everything) and my two INTP friends are exactly the same way. However, I am extremely talkative when I'm interested in the subject, and I only get any type of anxiety when I'm at a party or club. I hate clubs.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,124 Posts
INTP here. I'm 23 and I work with this woman that I've had a crush on for a little while now. I only just started working there, but we had out first conversation today. Being INTP I can figure out PT in one conversation (usually). Just based on how she talks and presents herself and what I've noticed, she is total ESTP.

Anyway, she always smiles at me and winks at me, and I thought it was either her just being nice, or the fact that she is a flirt in general. Anyway, in our conversations she kept asking me all sorts of questions like "what college do you go to" and "what's your major", stuff like that. We are both really into psychology so we talked about that for a little while, but she's not a "long conversation" type person. She kept laughing at things I said that weren't really funny at all. Then again, she laughs at a lot of things, so...I don't know. At one point she laughed at something I said and reached out and touched my arm. Again, it could just be a friendly gesture and not anything worth over thinking. Then again, she seems to act different around me. I don't know, I try not to focus on other people too much when I'm not actively speaking with them.

I really admire her energy and friendliness, it kind of counteracts my introversion. I think that's why I'm attracted to her. I prefer Extroverted girls because they are so different from me. She seems to be really invested in our conversations, but she is easily distracted. Again, I don't know if she is just being nice or what. I might just be over thinking the whole thing, seeing patterns that aren't there because I want to see them. Any advice from an ESTP female would be helpful. I don't know what else to say on the matter, so if you need more information, feel free to ask and I will do my best to answer them.

As a side note, another co worker (friend) of mine (also female, ENFJ) said I was sexy because I automatically flirt without meaning to, and the lack of self awareness makes me "adorable". Not sure if that helps.
From what I know, and in my experience, if an ESTP likes you, you will know. They will put in a major effort to win you over.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
67 Posts
Being an ESTP. If we like you, we'll play it cool, be flirty and try to poke you, or touch you or something playful and almost childlike. (usually an Se thing) We'll try to look really good around you and ask you loads of questions about yourself. Probably use great eye contact and laughing, smiling.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,699 Posts
Sensors tend to be more interested in stuff like "did you hear about so and so cheating on his wife", or "gee, the traffic seems crazy today", or "did you hear who stole money out of the boss's safe?". Theories don't seem to entice sensors too much. But hey, you may be right, she may be fascinated by the way I think. I just know that, of the sensors I met in the past...they don't seem to "get it" when it comes to what I enjoy talking about. They kind of just say "uh huh...cool" and that's it. I have no interest whatsoever in discussing daily activities. I do daily activities...every day. I have no reason to talk about them. I could care less what goes on around the work place, unless it has to do with me.

But hey, you may be right. Who knows?
correct, we are more concrete rather than abstract. theory without tangible benefits often bores me to the point of tears ;). your t type to, engage them there. hope that helps.
 

·
Registered
Beta Gang - EIE 3w4 - 368 sx/so
Joined
·
4,750 Posts
Sensors tend to be more interested in stuff like "did you hear about so and so cheating on his wife", or "gee, the traffic seems crazy today", or "did you hear who stole money out of the boss's safe?". Theories don't seem to entice sensors too much. But hey, you may be right, she may be fascinated by the way I think. I just know that, of the sensors I met in the past...they don't seem to "get it" when it comes to what I enjoy talking about. They kind of just say "uh huh...cool" and that's it. I have no interest whatsoever in discussing daily activities. I do daily activities...every day. I have no reason to talk about them. I could care less what goes on around the work place, unless it has to do with me.

But hey, you may be right. Who knows?
Its like you said, they "tend" to. I know sensors that fucking hate small talk. Theres everything in this brave world :p
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
876 Posts
Why don't you ask her?
 
1 - 12 of 12 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top