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''....He had an occasionally icy, dry, volcanic layer underneath his seemingly over accomodating, awkward front''

It's like an INFJ actually has too much to say when he's angry, but those words are kept in hidden layers burning underneath the front that seems not to care.

Does this quote sound INFJ? Because when I wrote that, I remember my INFJ first love
 

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''....He had an occasionally icy, dry, volcanic layer underneath his seemingly over accomodating, awkward front''

It's like an INFJ actually has too much to say when he's angry, but those words are kept in hidden layers burning underneath the front that seems not to care.

Does this quote sound INFJ? Because when I wrote that, I remember my INFJ first love
This sounds exactly like me.

I've had to learn to express, not repress, my anger as maturely as possible. That way people won't simply ignore how I feel.
 

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Oh wow! Such Perception Izzie..! :)
The thing about INFJ's is that its Fe that compels us to be overly accomodating. We are compelled to make othrs feel good and comfortable, as disharmony kinda kills us,.. it really realy affects us badly,.. more than most people can ever know,.. so we overly accomodate with fe,.. but, even though that eases any threat of atmospherics and disharmony, its a massive drain on an introverted Ni Dom, being accomodating is the lesser of two evils, but its not like Fe always fill us with fuzzies and energy. We exhaust ourselves into making sure theres harmony, at our own expense.
This is the surface most see, the smiling, accomodating easy going, bland facade, the calm exterior, .
Inside theres anger, resentment, boiling hot, at the injustice of always being the giver, always being the one whose needs are overlooked,.. coupled with a very real, though mostly hidden coldness, a certain kind of INTJ icy rationale. Icy anger, somes it up very well, ..How can something be boiling hot yet icy cold? INFJ anger is a composite of boiling hot resentment over perceived injustice or unfairness, and an icy form of rationale that lets us see people in a different light.
if the anger comes out,..in a way, its a good thing, at THESE times, you get to hear what the INFJ truly thinks and feels,.. their true pinions.
Later the INFJ will go back to Fe default setting of accomodation, but,.. you've glimpsed the person, behind the facade.
Some people seem to like the real person underneath better, theres certainly enough dynamic energy in an angry INFJ to power a nuclear station,.. but at the cost of the INFJ's precious energy resource. We are true introverts, after all, and such outward projection of volatile and intense emotion is very draining.
INFJ is never really comfortable in any mode, neither Fe, nor 'real' anger. They relax when alone, or with someone who does seem to bring out the compulsion in us to be in either extreme.
I think, in some ways, anger is the saving grace, the safety valve of an INFJ.
Its needed,.. as a fail safe mechanism, otherwise an INFJ would become screwed into the ground, in self sacrifice.
We're colder, and tougher than even we suspect,.. softer on the outside, than we are on the inside, i suspect :)
G. x
 

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When I get angry with people I hold it in (unlesss it's my brother I'm angry at). For example I have 6 housemates and we all share a kitchen. And we've been told by the University that we have to keep the sides clear of cutlery etc for when the cleaner comes to clean. However two of our housemates leave all their stuff on the draining board and never put it away. Seriously, they will cook in the evening, fill the draining board up and it will stay there until the following evening. So myself and another housemate were getting really annoyed at this because:
1. We have been told that if this gets reported the University will fine each of us.
2. When I'm washing stuff up I dry it and put it straight in the cupboard, but most of the time I can't even wash a batch of stuff because I have no where to put it because the draining board is full of stuff from the night before. This means I have to wash each item one at a time, dry it and put it in the cupboard. It drives me crazy.

So anyways, my other housemate who was getting annoyed actually moved all of the stuff off the draining board and piled it up and stuck a note on it telling them that "if they don't put their stuff away I will donate it to charity. I'm serious". I thought this was hilarious but at the same time was worried about how the others were going to take it.

I really don't have the guts to be so direct. I tend to just let people do what they want and put up with things. Sometimes I feel angry and it doesn't register with me that I could actually say something to sort the problem out. Plus we have discussed the situation as a group so many times that I didn't think telling them again would make much difference, but I think my housemate's 'rage' has hit a nerve with the others so maybe things will change.

My exterior is either very smiling, getting on with things mode. Or I'll go very quiet. People who know me well can always tell when something is wrong when I'm not as talkative as I usually am. This is because inside I feel like I'm going to burst so the only thing I can do to control it is to not speak to anyone.
 

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Oh wow! Such Perception Izzie..! :)
The thing about INFJ's is that its Fe that compels us to be overly accomodating. We are compelled to make othrs feel good and comfortable, as disharmony kinda kills us,.. it really realy affects us badly,.. more than most people can ever know,.. so we overly accomodate with fe,.. but, even though that eases any threat of atmospherics and disharmony, its a massive drain on an introverted Ni Dom, being accomodating is the lesser of two evils, but its not like Fe always fill us with fuzzies and energy. We exhaust ourselves into making sure theres harmony, at our own expense.
This is the surface most see, the smiling, accomodating easy going, bland facade, the calm exterior, .
Inside theres anger, resentment, boiling hot, at the injustice of always being the giver, always being the one whose needs are overlooked,.. coupled with a very real, though mostly hidden coldness, a certain kind of INTJ icy rationale. Icy anger, somes it up very well, ..How can something be boiling hot yet icy cold? INFJ anger is a composite of boiling hot resentment over perceived injustice or unfairness, and an icy form of rationale that lets us see people in a different light.
if the anger comes out,..in a way, its a good thing, at THESE times, you get to hear what the INFJ truly thinks and feels,.. their true pinions.
Later the INFJ will go back to Fe default setting of accomodation, but,.. you've glimpsed the person, behind the facade.
Some people seem to like the real person underneath better, theres certainly enough dynamic energy in an angry INFJ to power a nuclear station,.. but at the cost of the INFJ's precious energy resource. We are true introverts, after all, and such outward projection of volatile and intense emotion is very draining.
INFJ is never really comfortable in any mode, neither Fe, nor 'real' anger. They relax when alone, or with someone who does seem to bring out the compulsion in us to be in either extreme.
I think, in some ways, anger is the saving grace, the safety valve of an INFJ.
Its needed,.. as a fail safe mechanism, otherwise an INFJ would become screwed into the ground, in self sacrifice.
We're colder, and tougher than even we suspect,.. softer on the outside, than we are on the inside, i suspect :)
G. x
Damn good goodewitch!
I need to express here that this is where balance needs to come in and play. Funny, I literally just wrote a small poem, on the short stories or poem thread, that I think fits here. Notice the descriptive words used that creates balance for me.

Two but One
by Dalien

Sometimes
sparrow
sweet
gentle
loving
Sometimes
blue jay
cheeky
playful
strong
One feather
similarly
equal
together
separately
 
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When I get angry with people I hold it in (unlesss it's my brother I'm angry at). For example I have 6 housemates and we all share a kitchen. And we've been told by the University that we have to keep the sides clear of cutlery etc for when the cleaner comes to clean. However two of our housemates leave all their stuff on the draining board and never put it away. Seriously, they will cook in the evening, fill the draining board up and it will stay there until the following evening. So myself and another housemate were getting really annoyed at this because:
1. We have been told that if this gets reported the University will fine each of us.
2. When I'm washing stuff up I dry it and put it straight in the cupboard, but most of the time I can't even wash a batch of stuff because I have no where to put it because the draining board is full of stuff from the night before. This means I have to wash each item one at a time, dry it and put it in the cupboard. It drives me crazy.

So anyways, my other housemate who was getting annoyed actually moved all of the stuff off the draining board and piled it up and stuck a note on it telling them that "if they don't put their stuff away I will donate it to charity. I'm serious". I thought this was hilarious but at the same time was worried about how the others were going to take it.

I really don't have the guts to be so direct. I tend to just let people do what they want and put up with things. Sometimes I feel angry and it doesn't register with me that I could actually say something to sort the problem out. Plus we have discussed the situation as a group so many times that I didn't think telling them again would make much difference, but I think my housemate's 'rage' has hit a nerve with the others so maybe things will change.

My exterior is either very smiling, getting on with things mode. Or I'll go very quiet. People who know me well can always tell when something is wrong when I'm not as talkative as I usually am. This is because inside I feel like I'm going to burst so the only thing I can do to control it is to not speak to anyone.
Half the battle is knowing...the other half is figuring out how to deal...once knowing, dealing becomes easier! :happy:
 
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