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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
Hey everyone!

I'm still trying to either accept or rule out INFJ as a possible functional stack, so I thought I would list off some of my behaviors to see if this is consistent with what you guys do too.

The way that I make decisions is largely based on how other people will feel. I hate to admit that too, because I know that it's highly illogical to do so and so I feel like I'm constantly in conflict with myself over it. Example: I always try and make choices based on what my husband would like. Even sometimes what I'm wearing! And he doesn't even care!! I do it at work too, like I'll capitulate to clients when I should probably be more stern with them.

I immediately notice logical inconsistencies and must make commentary in external information that I take in- i.e. something that doesn't make sense in an inspirational quote, bad spelling or grammar, irrational logic of others (like my boss told me the other day that she'd start working on her health as soon as she got diagnosed with a bad disease like cancer, but not before that)
I just realized that I very much need logical consistency in my life and that one of my favorite phrases since I was a kid has been "That doesn't even make any sense!" lol.


I am a very idea based person, and ideas can come to me either by seeing something in the outside world and then referencing it to something I have stored away in my mind and kind of snowballing off into all kinds of different directions, or sometimes they'll come out of nowhere. I get a lot of random thoughts sometimes.

I am very respectful and understanding of the emotions of others, and can generally always empathize and put myself in their shoes, and in the moment feel what they are feeling, and I'm not uncomfortable to deal with them, however I have little to no tolerance for crazy makers, histrionic people or emotional drama, or people who cry for sympathy, it wears me out. I will never usually speak my mind to these people but distance myself from them pretty quickly. I have little to no respect for whiners or liars. I can't stand Debbie Downers or people who act out for attention. That's kind of a thing that will always trigger me into a rant.
I am extremely sensitive to criticism, but I will never let the person who is giving it know that as long as it is a constructive criticism, I can absorb it and understand why they are getting after me. It still takes me a few days to get over myself though :laughing:

As far as the person I show to the world, some days I can be hyper and extroverted and some days I can be quite quiet and contemplative. It actually depends on who I am around and how comfortable I feel with them. I am informal with my speech if I feel like I can be, but I also know how to be extremely formal and businesslike. I enjoy sarcasm and playing around as long as it doesn't go too far and hurt someone's feelings. I can be a boss and a good employee, but I'd rather be in charge.

A lot of times I don't notice if my external environment is messy until I realize I can't function anymore and that it's better for my productivity to keep it clean. The reason for this is that endless detail can shut me down to the point where I can no longer think or function.

I do get bored easily, which makes me depressed, but as I've gotten older I've learned to be more consistent. I have little patience for rules that I think don't make sense or are stupid, but sometimes I'll be following a method of doing something for quite some time before I realize "Why am I even doing it this way!?"
I have no problem with changing up processes or pushing buttons to see what happens, though.

I'm very interested in cultures and people, but not so much in an emotional way, but more of a compare and respect the differences and gather knowledge for the sake of it type of thing.

I'm a hopeless romantic, and my fantasies have always usually consisted of me saving the guy instead of him saving me.

And I can't think of anything else, and this post is long enough and probably not indicative at all of any sort of cognitive preferences.
 

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Hi,
I enjoyed to read your post, as an INFJ ( who discovered this personality thing just a few months ago) I can really relate to what you wrote. I do care about people a lot and care about how they'll feel if I say or do this, and I do feel and empathize too much until I feel depressed and need alone time to feel better but hopefully my boyfriend helps me to feel better.
I really feel weird sometimes but seeing that I'm not the only hopeless romantic who cares about people's feeling makes me feel more normal x)
Also may I know what's your husband's personality please?
 

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INFJ is possible, although behavior is less important than thought process (you included some, but not enough thinking).

Another type you might consider is ENFJ. I say this because of:
1. You mentioned getting bored.
2. In describing yourself, you went straight to your interactions with others.

Neither precludes being an introvert, however they sound like extrovert things. Keep in mind INFJs/ENFJs frequently mistype as the other.
A big key for ENFJs is how long can you go without human company?
Often for E/I distinctions people focus on the quantity of socializing they do, but really I think it should be the quantity of sane alone time.
As an INFJ, I have gone up to a year without laying eyes on more than one person (family member who was always around and ready to interact), and I was happy & content.
An ENFJ would keel over and die in that situation.
 

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Discussion Starter #5
INFJ is possible, although behavior is less important than thought process (you included some, but not enough thinking).

Another type you might consider is ENFJ. I say this because of:
1. You mentioned getting bored.
2. In describing yourself, you went straight to your interactions with others.

Neither precludes being an introvert, however they sound like extrovert things. Keep in mind INFJs/ENFJs frequently mistype as the other.
A big key for ENFJs is how long can you go without human company?
Often for E/I distinctions people focus on the quantity of socializing they do, but really I think it should be the quantity of sane alone time.
As an INFJ, I have gone up to a year without laying eyes on more than one person (family member who was always around and ready to interact), and I was happy & content.
An ENFJ would keel over and die in that situation.
I know quite a few ENFJs, and while I do enjoy fun time, I could never keep up with their off the chart levels of energy. I have no problem being around people and don’t necessarily think to myself that I need to party to recharge, but I more know that it’s a healthy thing for me to do and that I’ll be more well rounded. I do enjoy my quiet time with my coffee in the morning when my family is asleep.

My thought process is hard to define, but in simple terms its intake information, absorb and store, make polite contributing comments if with a team to make sure we all feel good and are all on the same page, automatically llet thought process run in background for eventual random output in my brain later on when I’m not even thinking about it.
When I’m alone, my thoughts cycle through input, analyze for absolute truth over and over to the point of obsession at times.
I also predict trends and outcomes based on previously stored information. Especially with things like movies or interpersonal relationships.
 

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I do enjoy my quiet time with my coffee in the morning when my family is asleep.
Huh? What does that have to do with introversion?

How did you arrive at the conclusion that the people you're comparing yourself to are ENFJs?

The thought process you described sounds like basic human thought. Maybe ponder on it for a while and come back with more detail and some episodic examples. :)
 

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Discussion Starter #7
Huh? What does that have to do with introversion?

How did you arrive at the conclusion that the people you're comparing yourself to are ENFJs?

The thought process you described sounds like basic human thought. Maybe ponder on it for a while and come back with more detail and some episodic examples. :)
While I appreciate your time, I feel like your comment was sort of patronizing.

My ENFJ friends were professionally assessed and obsessed, as they are both way into mbti. Could they be wrong? Sure. But their similarities are too close to be coincidence.

And you're right, me enjoying alone time for an hour or three every day to collect myself probably has nothing to do with anything, but I thought it was relevant, so I put it in there. I wasn't very specific about it, and that's my bad.

I don't think you can judge introversion an extroversion with such broad terms either. No I would not be happy going a year without talking to anyone besides my husband. I have a job and a life and things to do/people to take care of. That doesn't make me an extrovert. I don't believe that kind of behavior is healthy for any individual and has nothing to do with preference of Fe over Ni. Could I be wrong about that? Yes, but that's just my viewpoint.

I also think boredom is a subjective thing that is absolutely non indicative of type, and it was silly for me to mention it.

And I pretty clearly outlined how I processed information. I don't know what else to say other than, no thanks, I really don't want to come back with more detail and episodic examples.

Apologies, I don't know why your comment irked me so much, or why I'm turning into such a passive aggressive hot mess, and I hope I don't offend you, as I have clearly asked for help, and you are doing your best to give it, but I kind of needed to speak my peace.
 

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Perhaps seeking your professionally assessed ENFJ friends opinions then would be most helpful, as they know you in real life and understand you better than people on an internet forum could.

I'm sorry if I offended you. There are many people who post here seeking typing assistance, and most in the beginning don't know what they need to offer in order to get thoroughly considered responses. My intention was purely to be helpful, but I can't compromise on the information necessary to provide that help.
Without more inner world detail I don't think most of us here could help you. If you're uncomfortable sharing more, your best bet is to learn the functions in detail and observe them thoroughly in practical use and then find the best fit for yourself.

The adjectives you initially used to describe your thinking process are simply labels whose meaning can differ based on the speaker, they also could describe your true natural self or simply the training via social expectations which (especially) Fe people labor under from an early age.

Adjectives are the domain of Te types primarily, which makes perfect sense since you have a Te-dom in a very important position in your life. Since your self assessment clearly indicates heavy Fe use, it's apparent that like most of us Fe users you are heavily influenced by others important to you and therefore your assessment requires a deeper dive.

On the other hand, if you generally feel offended by clarification questions, the probability of your being a Fe-dom goes up. It goes back to Ti being their inferior function and therefore being a sensitive spot just as the inferior function is for any type.

Personally, I believe it's possible for you to be an INFJ, an ENFJ, or even another type. There simply isn't enough information to make that call with any semblance of certainty.
 
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Discussion Starter #10 (Edited)
Possibly INFJ, but as mentioned before, thought process is more important than actual behavior. Let me see if I can help more.

I would read the following article on INFJ and their function stack: https://www.typeinmind.com/nife/
Woah. This was extremely enlightening and really uncomfortable to read- as if someone just scooped my figurative brain out of my head and showed it to everyone and I felt embarrassed. Thank you so so much.

The way I think is this- knowledge goes in and is stored in clusters of groups and graphs for access later. In many cases I visualize and recall it in pictures or feelings. For example, when I learned another language, I took all patterns that I had noticed from verb conjugations and things like that and stored them into my brain in some sort of clustered graph chart to be accessed when necessary. It's not really a linear storage either, but more like all over the place in my head, even though everything is connected in some odd way. I've never been able to describe that verbally to someone and actually have them get it.

I think this process is so natural that it's hard to put it into words. If someone asks me a question in my current field of work, I usually look off somewhere else when seeing if I have the info, and if I don't I know right away, then I have to google it immediately to add to the storehouse. It's like a compulsion.

I also like how the article mentioned that NiFe will have to think their thoughts out loud-

"They also tend to need to talk through their thoughts or at least externalize them by writing them out to feel like they’re fully fleshed out. Generally the thoughts in their head exist in a very abstract form, so talking through them or writing them down can help to solidify them. They may find it frustrating at times if people assume that the thoughts they’re sharing are fully formed and decided on, especially if they’re expressed with emotion and therefore assumed to be intensely solid beliefs. Often they’re just talking to work out a thought and they haven’t quite arrived at a conclusion yet."

Holy crap yeah.

I'm actually having a hard time finding part of this article that doesn't resonate with me.

I read FeNi and even SiFe, FeSi, and FiNe just in case, and they weren't quite right. Especially not FiNe and Si.

Thanks again @foamonthewaves and sorry I was kind of a jerk @Rebecca.M I think I've just been frustrated, and yesterday I was on sensory overload.
 

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(edit) I see I've been a bit slow in responding and you already seemed to have found your match. Feel free to disregard this post as I made it before I saw your latest reply(/edit)

I must confess that I'm getting an INFP vibe from your description. You seem outspoken about your opinions, considerate for others, imaginitive and critical of how others behave.
The way you write seems very consistent with Fi, although it's really hard to get a good sense of these things from a snapshot such as this. I can't rule out INFJ, but that's not the vibe I'm getting.

If you want me to be specific about my reasons I'd be happy to provide you with examples.
 

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Discussion Starter #12 (Edited)
(edit) I see I've been a bit slow in responding and you already seemed to have found your match. Feel free to disregard this post as I made it before I saw your latest reply(/edit)

I must confess that I'm getting an INFP vibe from your description. You seem outspoken about your opinions, considerate for others, imaginitive and critical of how others behave.
The way you write seems very consistent with Fi, although it's really hard to get a good sense of these things from a snapshot such as this. I can't rule out INFJ, but that's not the vibe I'm getting.

If you want me to be specific about my reasons I'd be happy to provide you with examples.
Yeah I'm open to hearing your reasons, and while that article did resonate more deeply with me than the NiFe article, it doesn't mean that it's correct. This is my ultimate issue with the MBTI. I keep searching for absolute truth and can find none, and I think it's just kept me spinning my wheels.

I think if I dig deep down and reason on why it's so important to me to figure out is because the only family I have right now is really into this stuff and it's constantly coming up. I feel like because they can't seem to figure me out (one of these being the professionally assessed ENFJ that I mentioned earlier. He keeps going back and forth between INFP and ENTP), I have sort of gotten a complex about it. Like I'm some sort of freak that doesn't fit in perfectly anywhere or with anyone and no one seems to understand me or get me, but they make assumptions based on what they think I am at the moment and it's very hurtful and tiresome.

I could and should just tell them all to shut up and talk about something else, and I know they would, but I keep wanting to fit into an ideal of what they want me to be.

Which is stupid. And I gotta work on that.

And also the absolute truth thing. I get so stuck on finding perfection- i.e. the exact understanding of something, the reasons why, learning all the parameters and variables of systems and their sub systems and looping around and around in this black hole of possibilities and what if's and second guessing that I can barely function sometimes and I have to just force myself out of the obsession and tell myself I don't care anymore a whole lot and maybe go do something for another person to break out of it. Sometimes it takes years though.

Well that was a lot of mind vomit, but it felt nice to admit it.

And thank you all for your time and effort in dealing with me. I don't like drawing attention to myself at all in real life, and I've been doing that a lot on this form, so thank you for being so kind and accepting.
 

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Woah. This was extremely enlightening and really uncomfortable to read- as if someone just scooped my figurative brain out of my head and showed it to everyone and I felt embarrassed. Thank you so so much.

The way I think is this- knowledge goes in and is stored in clusters of groups and graphs for access later. In many cases I visualize and recall it in pictures or feelings. For example, when I learned another language, I took all patterns that I had noticed from verb conjugations and things like that and stored them into my brain in some sort of clustered graph chart to be accessed when necessary. It's not really a linear storage either, but more like all over the place in my head, even though everything is connected in some odd way. I've never been able to describe that verbally to someone and actually have them get it.

I think this process is so natural that it's hard to put it into words. If someone asks me a question in my current field of work, I usually look off somewhere else when seeing if I have the info, and if I don't I know right away, then I have to google it immediately to add to the storehouse. It's like a compulsion.

I also like how the article mentioned that NiFe will have to think their thoughts out loud-

"They also tend to need to talk through their thoughts or at least externalize them by writing them out to feel like they’re fully fleshed out. Generally the thoughts in their head exist in a very abstract form, so talking through them or writing them down can help to solidify them. They may find it frustrating at times if people assume that the thoughts they’re sharing are fully formed and decided on, especially if they’re expressed with emotion and therefore assumed to be intensely solid beliefs. Often they’re just talking to work out a thought and they haven’t quite arrived at a conclusion yet."

Holy crap yeah.

I'm actually having a hard time finding part of this article that doesn't resonate with me.

I read FeNi and even SiFe, FeSi, and FiNe just in case, and they weren't quite right. Especially not FiNe and Si.

Thanks again @foamonthewaves and sorry I was kind of a jerk @Rebecca.M I think I've just been frustrated, and yesterday I was on sensory overload.
You are very welcome! I am glad I could help out. This same article me figure out whether I was INFP or INFJ.
 

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Discussion Starter #14
Annd ok.

From an article on Ni-Ti loops by Jennifer Soldner-


"As our introverted iNtuition (Ni) ponders theories, concepts and possibilities, it feeds these ideas to our Ti which seeks facts and logic to back up and solidify these thoughts. As it obtains this information, it feeds it back to our Ni which creates even more theories and concepts.

Each time this loop goes full circle, the thoughts become more and more radical and outlandish, pushing us further from reality and deeper into our minds.

The worst part is that this cycle only perpetuates itself. The INFJ can begin to feel that they have too much to think about as their loop cycles endlessly, causing them to retreat and seek additional solitude and additional information, only making the entire process worse."

Creepy accurate. This about sums up everything. Getting off the internet now. I''m not allowing myself to research this anymore.
 
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