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Discussion Starter #1
Hey :kitteh:

Just curious to see some external perceptions; that's the extent of my experimental experiment :tongue:.

Prerequisites


What age range are you in?

I'm 20.



Main Questions


1. What do you think your life is about? What drives you in life? This can be something like a goal or a purpose, or anything else that comes to mind.

I'd say my life is about acquiring the materialistic, interpersonal, experiential, and spiritual things that I want/desire, while maintaining my independence.

So in effect, what I'm driven by is what I want/desire. You could say that's amassing money, acquiring a position of power in my field, surrounding myself with the right people, experiencing as much of the world as possible (foods, places, situations), and a number of sexual fantasies (that's pretty big for me).

2. What were you like as a kid?

As a kid I kept more to myself -- I was fairly independent, curious, thoughtful. I also was quite respectful/considerate for a kid, though at the same time was known to blow up and cause trouble when crossed (age nor position concerned me). I liked to perform and I liked to lead where I could.

3. Describe your relationship with your parents. Does anything stand out about the way you interacted?

My parents have always been divorced and my relationship with both my parents has always been sweet and sour. I've been known to completely cross one out of my life for years, then one day turn around and forgive them -- to cross out the other.

4. What values are important to you? What do you hope to avoid doing or being?

Some of the most important values to me would be acceptance, respect, honesty, and consideration. One thing I've always avoided being is dishonest -- I don't like to mislead anyone (though sometimes I'll lie to maintain my privacy or plan). I also don't take advantage of people and see to it that nobody else does. I think everyone has a right to be themselves, pursue what they desire. I have issues with what I consider justice -- if I am crossed or someone I feel is not in the wrong is crossed my sense of justice dictates that the violator deserves a greater punishment than what they dealt.


5. Aside from phobias, are there any fears that characterized your childhood? Have they continued into the present day, or not, and if not, how have you dealt with them?

I'm not sure if this is a fear but I've always felt sad when I stood up for myself or an idea and ended up alone or alienated -- I seem to get myself into this position time and time again growing up. You could also say I fear not being able to make it, which makes me push really hard and view others as competitors.

6.

a.) How do you see yourself?

I'd say I'm a pretty cool guy with genuinely good intentions -- but I've got a number of strange attributes to myself that set me apart from most people. I'd also say I'm a little rough around the edges and tend to treat / interact with people rather rudely or stronger than I mean to, based on the responses I get. I'm more concerned with collective happiness than individual happiness -- I'm pretty ambitious and have dreams of changing the world. I alter between periods of introversion, extroversion, and a happy medium. I view myself as pretty open-minded but at the same time rigid and stubborn.

b.) How do you want others to see you?

I'd like for others to see me the way I see myself, which I think doesn't happen all too often.

c.) What do you dislike the most in other people?

I'd say I dislike dishonesty, closed-mindedness, and disrespect/inconsideration.

7. Which habit do you most automatically act on? Rank the following habits from most to least automatic, on a scale of 1 (most) to 3 (least).
a.) Work for personal gain with more concern for self than for others.
1

b.) Strive for a sense of tranquility in yourself and the world around you.
3
c.) Decide what is right for the betterment of something or someone else.
2

8. Where does the wandering mind take you? What provokes this?

Mostly where I am, what I should do, what others have done, where things should be heading, etc. It's a lot of planning and assessing of situations, you could say.

I guess it's provoked by a need to have things go a certain way or transpire in an acceptable [to me] fashion.


9.What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?

I feel my best when I feel fully in control of my life and my situation. When I'm respected and valued by those around me and when I'm in a position of authority. When I'm successful and have the freedom to do and pursue what I desire. When I have a net of people close to me for where mutual share and experiences are shared.

I'm at my worst when I feel disconnected from reality -- when life hits me across the face and I'm dragged by the feet motionless. I become really introverted and lethargic -- everything feels in disarray.

10.
Let's talk about emotions. Explain what might make you feel the following, how they feel to you or how you react to the emotion:
a.) anger
I get angry more often than I'd like, though I also can't go too long a time without getting angry because I get uneasy. I think finding the right balance is important. Generally what happens is something or someone will press and press and slowly I'll build anger until a threshold is reached, then I kind of go into a full impulse mode to deal with the situation. People often seem surprised by my anger -- not sure from where it emerged.
b.) shame
I feel shame with regards to personal failure as well as when I feel I've wronged somebody when I shouldn't have -- though the latter I only experience in retrospect. Sometimes I might wrong someone because I've misinterpreted what they meant / the situations (sometimes I can view things pretty black & white and react on impulse) and those are the times I feel most shameful, though I keep this to myself most of the time.
c.) anxiety
I feel quite a bit of anxiety with regards to impending life situations -- I'm often worried that things may go wrong or that I'm not equipped enough to handle the situation. Generally I deal with anxiety by A. thinking about/researching the situation, B. Chilling out/numbing out or C. Distracting myself with exhilarating / exciting activities.

11.
Describe how you respond to the following:

a.) stress

I just answered this one.

b.) negative unexpected change
Depends on my mood, but either way it's greeted with a literal sigh
:sad:. Then I'll either quickly decide on the next course of action or put it off for later.

c.) conflict

I generally try not to get into conflict -- I'll do my best to run things smoothly, unless someone is particularly persistent, obnoxious, or disrespectful ~~

12.
a.) What kind of role are you naturally inclined to take in a group? Why?

I guess naturally what I do is put myself in the ultimate authority position. I don't necessarily lead, but I verify what others come up with and decide to ok or nay it, kind of obnoxious I guess now that I think about it.

I also don't mind taking a leadership role.

Why? I guess I find it hard to just sit around and let other people determine what I will do and the outcome of our project/goal.

b.) If put in power, how do you behave? Why?

I like to make sure everybody is given an honest chance, everyone is treated equally (I don't play favorites). I'll pick the outcome that I feel fits best for the group and for the goals of the group rather than what seems to be the group favorite. I like to be very vocal and interactive to gauge everyone's stance on things -- I like to make sure as many people are made happy / included as possible.

c.) Do you tend to struggle with others who have authority over you? Why?

If it's a manager in my entire work history I've always befriended them and treated them as equals. In terms of teachers/professors, I've had some issues in the past -- but generally I tend to just submit the work they want and ignore interacted with them altogether.

13.
What do you see or notice in others that most people don't?

I like to think I'm pretty good at understanding others' motives and limits (what sets them on edge).

14.
Comment on your relationship with trust.

I trust most people, but only to a certain extent.

15. Briefly: What religious and/or political beliefs do you have? Do you think they influenced your responses in this questionnaire?

I'm agnostic. No, I don't think this influences much if anything.



Thank you if you've taken the time to read this far -- not my most fascinating work but hopefully you can get a good idea into what I'm like. I'm excited to see the responses.

 

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Discussion Starter #2
Continuation:

Main Questions

1. What drives you in life? What do you look for?

I would say I'm driven by the need to expand myself, to put myself in a position of power where I can give back to the world as much as it has (and will, presumably) give to me. I dream of becoming someone who can inspire others -- who can change something in the world to become not only a much better system that changes everybody's life, but also to serve as an inspiration for generations to come of the right way people should go about things -- equality and a genuine attempt to solve the true underlying problems -- not greed.

2. What do you hope to accomplish in your life?

I hope to start off by getting into medical school, branching off into diagnostic medicine, working out there for a while, then branching off to start my own private practice, which grows into a hospital, which grows into a new style of medicine -- which inspires the world to learn to approach humans in the most effectual way possible, rather than how much / what they can get from one another. To cut the crap.

3. What do you hope to avoid doing or being? What values are important to you?

I hope to avoid becoming someone greedy, who takes advantage of others. I hope to avoid becoming a nobody, an empty consumer, a brainless soul. It's important for me to make sure myself and those around me are given as much chance as anybody else -- and are helped to succeed as much as they were born to. Respect.

4. What are your biggest fears (not including phobias)? Why?

I'd say my biggest fear is not making it in life. I can not accomplish my goals as long as I'm somewhere safe and happy supporting my own little family in my own little corner of the world. The idea of depending/relying on others as the core of my life is... I don't quite know how to describe it, it's the worst to me.

5. How do you want others to see you? How do you see yourself?

I don't really mind how others see me as long as they don't get the wrong impression of who I am and judge me based on it. Ideally, I'd like others to see me as someone wise, independent, and able to give and lead them in the right direction. Someone with a good heart who's intelligent.

I view myself as someone with a strong drive who needs to go at his own pace. Someone who has troubles submitting himself to timetables, people, or anything pressed on him. I need things done my own way, on my own time, in my own style. Someone very bright and very capable who truly just has issues following anything else.

6. What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?

I'm my best whenever I feel closest on path to accomplishing my personal vision or being the person I like to be. Whenever I have the liberty to follow the path on my own terms and the freedom to do and have what I want when I want it.

I'm at my worst when I'm put in a position where I have no options but to follow someone else's authority...

7. Describe how you experience each of: a) anger; b) shame; c) anxiety.

a) my anger is sudden, swift, immense, and generally towers over quickly. Sometimes I get upset about something and I can't let go until it feels resolved.
b) I feel shame whenever I've wronged someone based on wrong information -- . I don't like to do harm to people that they don't deserve...
c) I feel anxiety pretty often, I get anxious about things not going smoothly, things going wrong -- not random things, just the things that are important. I deal with it either by thinking/researching it, avoiding it altogether, or delegating the tasks which can help subside it to other people (if they are simple, remedial tasks). Once I get pushed far enough by the anxiety I get angry and just tackle the issue. I try to maintain an inner calm as much as possible.

8. Describe how you respond to each of: a) stress; b) unexpected change; c) conflict.
a) I generally let stress pile until I can't take it anymore then tackle it with full force. Kind of not a smart method I suppose...
b) I welcome change -- but if it's due to somebody flaking that's another story.
c) It's difficult for me to shy away from conflict, I take it as a personal defeat, but there is a certain level of petty where I can avoid it altogether.

9. Describe your orientation to: a) authority; b) power. How do you respond to these?
a) authority is just authority -- they are the ones the people collectively agree to take advice from and who potentially have the power to influence your future in that setting. I don't really like it, but I get by.
b) I like power because I feel I use it justly which many people don't. But when there is someone who can use it justly as well that's great too.

10. What is your overall outlook on life and humanity?
You need to have a strong drive to put in the work to get ahead, and once you do, you have the freedom and power to establish yourself as you'd like to -- to set your life up the way you want to. But that's just that -- you have to get ahead of others, it is competitive.
 
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