I don't mean to use the word in a negative way... But while socializing with other people and friends, do you ever notice how some of them inadvertently establish a sort of "dominance" over you? Not in a bad way, necessarily... But in such a way that makes you feel sort of like their child or something...
dominance
[INFP]
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It's mostly because I'm so out of it most of the time. I'm usually in my own world, so people, especially my family, have gotten used to the idea that I don't really have a grasp of what's going on at the moment, it takes time for me to get in touch with reality. Mainly, when it relates to those daily life things like chores, I get patronized a lot. "Here, I'll do it" is something I hear all the time, because they just assume I'm not going to be able to figure out what to do or whatever.
With my friends, I guess it happens with those callous people who assume that just because I'm not loud or going out of my way to be assertive or hanging a big neon "I'M THE BOSS OF ME" sign on my forehead, that means I'm a doormat. I almost always end up proving them wrong, so it doesn't bother me much.
With my friends, I guess it happens with those callous people who assume that just because I'm not loud or going out of my way to be assertive or hanging a big neon "I'M THE BOSS OF ME" sign on my forehead, that means I'm a doormat. I almost always end up proving them wrong, so it doesn't bother me much.
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Dominance is all relative. If you really believe in your heart and in your mind that you are ALLWAYS the most dominant person in the room, then it will be so. Most of the time, those who are trying to act dominant or trying to belitlle you subtley in social situations reveal their own lack of dominance because the truly dominant person wouldn't be concerned with such things.
I think we INFPs pay extra attention to social cues, so we take personally many things that others just don't notice. Some people do establish dominance over others, but for them it is probably normal to do so, especially around introverts like ourselves. So I try to avoid these kind of thoughts as much as possible simply because their just being themselves, and explaining it won't help them understand(usually). While I accept the traits of my personality type, I think it's important not to let our attention to social detail get too intense, it can really mess with good relationships, trust me.
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OH MY GOD ALL THE TIME
people totally take advantage of the infp personality. it's so embarrassing and it makes me resent them but I can't even get mad at them for it cause it's not something they can see, so it comes out in weird ways.
I kind of started a similar thread on this like a couple days ago.
In order to protect myself I try to make it clear what I think and don't think and then everyone hates me. I don't know, it's kind of a lose lose situation. I don't care what people who don't matter think but sometimes my friends make this switch on me after I've shown my vulnerability and it makes me want to
cry.
people totally take advantage of the infp personality. it's so embarrassing and it makes me resent them but I can't even get mad at them for it cause it's not something they can see, so it comes out in weird ways.
I kind of started a similar thread on this like a couple days ago.
In order to protect myself I try to make it clear what I think and don't think and then everyone hates me. I don't know, it's kind of a lose lose situation. I don't care what people who don't matter think but sometimes my friends make this switch on me after I've shown my vulnerability and it makes me want to
cry.
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I will also say that A) I always find this to be a bad thing B) I am capable of reversing the tables, or getting rid of the tables.
The conclusion I came to in my other thread is, I have to surprise people, and I know I'm capable cause it used to happen all the time. It's just a matter of not letting other people define the box (you) for you, or even caring that they have an (incorrect) definition....
The conclusion I came to in my other thread is, I have to surprise people, and I know I'm capable cause it used to happen all the time. It's just a matter of not letting other people define the box (you) for you, or even caring that they have an (incorrect) definition....
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Yeah i get that, not sure exactly what does it.
Do you know of transaction analysis? im no expert by any means, but it's a theory that describes how people interact in terms of "adult", "child" and "parent" behaviour. In stable, normal interactions people adopt roles and stick to them.
If you find yourself being a helpless child with lots of people it may be you initiating the roles. You may, unwittingly, be adopting the role of a child, talking to others as though they were your parents.
It could also be that the others start talking to you like you were a child, not your fault.
Its really hard to describe these roles without examples, so im sorry <--(re reading this seems childish, (theres a good example <-- parent)).
Do you know of transaction analysis? im no expert by any means, but it's a theory that describes how people interact in terms of "adult", "child" and "parent" behaviour. In stable, normal interactions people adopt roles and stick to them.
If you find yourself being a helpless child with lots of people it may be you initiating the roles. You may, unwittingly, be adopting the role of a child, talking to others as though they were your parents.
It could also be that the others start talking to you like you were a child, not your fault.
Its really hard to describe these roles without examples, so im sorry <--(re reading this seems childish, (theres a good example <-- parent)).
This is exactly what always happens to me. In social situations, especially with strange people I often try to be attentive at first but inevitably I miss out on something and I'm out... in this moment my authority falls into ruin (I even had one before!!!).
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ALL THE EFFIN TIME....yeah I can't really get mad though because thats how they are...this is how I am. I'm just now learning who to steer clear from and who to stay close with. I mean I have friends who sometimes take on the dominant role...but not in a controlling manipulative way. They do it because they understand me accept me, and take care of me....haha like a parent...but there is a lot of love there....Just stay away from the people that try to USE you. So many people like that...
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I think this may be what it is. Emotional spillover is definitely a problem with me, and it puts me in an inferior position. I probably place MYSELF there.
It happens with me a lot. I don't mind, if it's whilst conversing and the other one is taking a dominant position. I'm gladly the listener, because I'm very good at it. But I hate when people assume I can't do anything. I guess I exude this dreamy quality.
I usually only get assertive when I'm annoyed.
I usually only get assertive when I'm annoyed.
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I allow others to be dominant generally because they completely annihilate me in the social arena. I am nowhere near as social as they are, and I have no intention to be. Sure, they can lead all they please.
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I have brothers and am the middle child too!
Yes i think this definitely helped T-T
I also feel that I feel more in control, or less submissive around men...they are more chill xD Girls are harder to be around a lot of the time. there always has to be a dominant energry
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