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I'm afraid my INFP feels like this sometimes. He's gone through more girlfriends than I have boyfriends and has admitted to jumping into some bad relationships because he had the emotional need to be in one. Sometimes I feel like he finds it hard to be satisfied and feels the need to keep looking for an idealized "perfect relationship"...

But my advice on this is- if you do find someone who'd bend over backwards for you, who's willing to listen to and discuss everything and work on themselves so that, even though they're not perfect for you, they're trying to be close...that's a pretty rare and beautiful thing, too.

Sorry- this INTP crashing your forum has a tendency to offer words of pragmatism, which I understand may be disillusioning and unhelpful. But I'm head over heels in love with an INFP who's experienced this hopelessness and I really, really want to know how I can fill it for him. ...And I've had my own emotions toward realizing perfection is impossible. :-/
 

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But my advice on this is- if you do find someone who'd bend over backwards for you, who's willing to listen to and discuss everything and work on themselves so that, even though they're not perfect for you, they're trying to be close...that's a pretty rare and beautiful thing, too.
I'm usually the one doing that for others, but they don't reciprocate. =/
 

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I'm usually the one doing that for others, but they don't reciprocate. =/
I know that feel ;-;

I always felt like if I managed to get someone to love me who I felt the same about then I would stop holding back and give all that I could to treat them right - I then did this and it didn't work out *sigh* I ended up feeling like they only cared when it suited their needs and that they would never truly understand just who I am and what my life is all about.
 

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I'm usually the one doing that for others, but they don't reciprocate. =/
...Yeah, then I totally feel you. ): I may be a Thinker, but I'm not a robot- I'm prepared to throw everything aside for people I fall in love with and sometimes it feels like they don't even notice. And it's like...they don't have to drop everything for me, but I'd just feel a little better sometimes if it felt like they noticed the way I do it for them. :unsure:
 

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I try and pretend I'm okay being alone and that love sucks anyway and then sometimes I'm just like "...I don't wanna be alone anymore..." And then at the same time I'm pretty sure I've met the perfect person who felt the same for me but we've fallen out of touch and it's just a weird dynamic and I keep looking for someone JUST. LIKE. HIM. but it never happens o.o Because they're not him D: Nobody will be him. Which sucks. But I keep having faith we'll find each other someday again~
 

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And then at the same time I'm pretty sure I've met the perfect person who felt the same for me but we've fallen out of touch and it's just a weird dynamic and I keep looking for someone JUST. LIKE. HIM. but it never happens o.o Because they're not him D: Nobody will be him. Which sucks. But I keep having faith we'll find each other someday again~
This. :)
Having a quite hard time right now getting over my first love (I'm only 15 though, but still. *sighs* ;) ) who's abroad for the next nine months and had refused to contact me for about the previous three weeks. Still no sign from his side and I guess he just doesn't care anymore ..
Probably due to his new girlfriend. We stayed in contact for the first three weeks he was abroad and texted each other about twice a week asking each other how things were going, etc. After two weeks abroad he texted me in a "by-the-way"-kind of way that he had a girlfriend there. We haven't been in a relationship before he went abroad but have been dating for about four months. And he knows what I'm feeling for him.
I feel like I desperately need to find someone new and get over him but everytime I'm with a new nice guy I realize that the feelings I have for them just can't compare to the feelings I have for HIM. The spark is missing. :S
And this definitely freaks me out! It just hurts so much to be rejected. And I have no clue how I could ever forget about him. :(

I don't know about you INFP-fellows but for me it's very hard to open up to people. But as soon as I know someone better and I feel trust between us I kind of .. feel save and get attached to them easily. They become very important to me and I definitely care very much about them. And if somebody that important leaves me .. I feel somehow empty for quite a long time and really miss them even if they already forgot about me. :S
 

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So many feels in this thread :crying:
I can't relate to it.
(Or can I?)
 
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I haven't given up hope yet, but considering that I'm 30, I've only been in 2 relationships, and my love life has been mostly unrequited crushes and celebrity crushes, the chances that I'll actually find a long term relationship are probably pretty slim. I also live in a culture that's different from my own, and while that's not always a bad thing, a lot of the men in this culture have views on relationships that are very incompatible with my own.
I feel like the guys I crush on all think I'm weird and totally not girlfriend material. Or that they like having me as a friend because I'm "interesting," but the minute I want to be more than friends, it weirds them out.
I think I could be a good girlfriend to the right guy, but I've kind of lost confidence in my ability to get someone to see me in that way.
 

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Ever have a feeling you'll never be in the perfect event, you'll never meet the perfect person, you'll never be fully happy-and you live day to day like this, knowing that you'll probably never be fully satisfied with anything?

Duality Shmuality.
Yes I have felt this way and its ONE of the reasons why i'm trying to be on this spiritual journey. I feel that God has to be in this path of mines to help me with my worries and fears. if there is no core within me, how will I know for a fact that i'm on the right path? Love has to come from a foundation in order to grow. there has to be a seed to plant and god to water it to help it grow. I am not trying to preach, but just give you me opinion about my views on love.
 

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Yep, basically. Though it's less about finding perfection and more about finding something that feels real and worthwhile. The ones who are interested in me never really seem interested in knowing me, or they're just not interesting people, period. And yeah... I just turned 25, and sort of feel like my life is over already, and that I'll never have the things I want, and no one will ever really know me or see me for who I am.
 

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Could see it as plausible but I prefer not to dwell on what doesnt exist and may well never exist because there is the potential to meet someone and things progress from there. No one plans to fall in love, meet people and shit happens. Atm im just not inclined in doing things that improve the probability of shit happening.
 

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Studies show that people who always seek perfection ("maximizers") usually end up dissatisfied. The happiest people are those who seek out "good enough" and stick with it. There is no such thing as perfection except in Plato's mind's eye. Life is not about being fully satisfied.

Honestly one of the greatest ways you can change your outlook on life is to be happy with what you have or with what you are able to obtain, instead of passing up perfectly good people or opportunities for the next best thing. Western culture tries to tell people to be maximizers but if you can block out the competitive influence of society and people you know, you will be a lot better off in terms of personal well-being.

Also, even if you do find the right person, you're not going to love being with that person every day. That doesn't mean you're wrong for each other, it's just a natural fluctuation that happens even in the most deep and enduring of loves.

I don't really expect anything good to ever happen to me, though, so it's always a great surprise when something good does happen.
 

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Studies show that people who always seek perfection ("maximizers") usually end up dissatisfied. The happiest people are those who seek out "good enough" and stick with it. There is no such thing as perfection except in Plato's mind's eye. Life is not about being fully satisfied.

Honestly one of the greatest ways you can change your outlook on life is to be happy with what you have or with what you are able to obtain, instead of passing up perfectly good people or opportunities for the next best thing. Western culture tries to tell people to be maximizers but if you can block out the competitive influence of society and people you know, you will be a lot better off in terms of personal well-being.

Also, even if you do find the right person, you're not going to love being with that person every day. That doesn't mean you're wrong for each other, it's just a natural fluctuation that happens even in the most deep and enduring of loves.

I don't really expect anything good to ever happen to me, though, so it's always a great surprise when something good does happen.
dang, this thread is too real, but it was refreshing to see this. I, too, feel that things may never work out in the end but sometimes good things do happen. When I'm lucky or smart enough to notice when something like that does happen, I hope I'll stick around. And of course nothing will be perfect and to your satisfaction 100%. gotta ride those waves up and down. Who likes perfect anyways? perfect is boring
 

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What I often wonder is, why is it so hard to find mutual attraction? Is that also an INFP thing? The people I like never like me, and there are people who like me sometimes, but I never feel that way about them.
 
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