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Have you ever been a doormat?

  • Yes. These boots were made for walkin'.. all over my face :'(

    Votes: 14 63.6%
  • Hellz no I've never let anyone walk all over me

    Votes: 8 36.4%
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Do you think that's normal for an ENTP? :)
Openly, no, quietly, maybe? I have two ENTP friends. One's my cousin, and when no one is looking, they take a lot of crap from those they love. They also will go out of their way to help someone, but that's a highly subjective point-of-view (my POV, that is).
 

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Yes, my abusive older brother :(... But as a friendly ENFP, I see the truth. It's not about acting back and beating the shit out of him. My theory is that if I leave it, do nothing and eventualyl move out soon enough, he will have no one to abuse and end up being miserable (Since he already has no friends) for the rest of his life, especailly considering how emotionally unhealthy he is and how much worse it's getting.
 

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maybe when i was very young- like childhood, but i don't count that so i selected the other thing. post 14-15 (how is that only 7 years ago? seems like an age ago). i think what 95% of the population don't realise and don't have a great grasp on is the importance of body language and demeanor.. body language is the most important thing when it comes to how people will perceive and react to you, because subconsciously we all know that it's the most reliable indicator of what other people are thinking, feeling and believing. this is why INFJs, for example, are very good at being mysterious- they are so good at reading other people's body language (and therefore thoughts) that they consciously reflect this onto themselves, and are able to be conscious of how to hide their personalities. ESTPs are another type who are very good at realising the effect of their own body language- that's why ESTPs are one of the least likely to be doormats, they recognize how to present their body language in a way that makes them seem firm and uninfluenced.

by the by, if this is for the sake of comparison, i've definitely met ENFJs who were nodoormats at all- in fact (most ENFJs i meet seem at least quite confident) i met one that was particularly confident, and whenever i saw an ENTP or someone try to "mentally man-handle" him or take him down a notch in a subtle way, he'd turn around and say the most effective natural things to deflect it, whilst still seeming like the "better" guy. i think he was still beholden to other people to a large extent, but he'd figured that out about himself and he knew how to "manage" that side of himself.

you'll find that ENFPs have varying degrees on this subject- occasionally some are crusaders and will often find themselves fighting for their morals; sometimes we just can't stop ourselves, and sometimes we'll be very conflict avoidant.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
No, never. It also has nothing to do with type, it's a self esteem issue. ENTPs are not high and almighty, I know one who repeatedly puts himself in a position to be used.
I agree with you in that it's not a type thing. However, there may be type correlations. You never know.

I think that it may not necessarily be an issue of self-esteem in all cases. I think a lot of it could be people not knowing how to act in social situations, or a myriad of other reasons.
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
:dry:


Lol okay, i see i deserved that, i wanted to ask if i knew beforehand that i'm being used, and while being used that i am being used, does that still count? that it's voluntary and by choice?
I see. I understand what you mean now. That does sort of make a difference. Hm.. thanks for explaining. :)
 

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I agree with you in that it's not a type thing. However, there may be type correlations. You never know.

I think that it may not necessarily be an issue of self-esteem in all cases. I think a lot of it could be people not knowing how to act in social situations, or a myriad of other reasons.
You are right, it is possible to not be a self esteem issue every time, but the only other reason for someone to act like that continuously is a complete lack of awareness of how healthy relationships work.

Thinking about it, it's actually more dangerous. And it probably comes from family issues, how do you know you're not being treated well if it's all you're used too?
 
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