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Hello ladies and dudes, today I want to share some of my thoughts that I've had for quite some time now, but haven't really had an urge to express, despite myself.

Listen to what I'm about to tell you. Do you relate or identify with it?

I've always felt I would die young. Not because of some tragedy affecting my ability to think clearly, resulting in my disappointing and early death. I mean an entirely compulsory, almost genetic urge that inevitably causes you to end your life. It was inevitable. Hate the game, not the player.

Do you think some people just have an inborn urge that eventually leads to their death? I'm not much of a believer in destiny, but when it becomes almost scientific, I think it holds some weight.

Discuss.
 

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When I was 20, some friends and I were talking about how old we thought we would live. I guessed that I wouldn't make it to 30. They thought I was joking but I was completely serious. I'm 28 1/2 now.
 

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Hello ladies and dudes, today I want to share some of my thoughts that I've had for quite some time now, but haven't really had an urge to express, despite myself.

Listen to what I'm about to tell you. Do you relate or identify with it?

I've always felt I would die young. Not because of some tragedy affecting my ability to think clearly, resulting in my disappointing and early death. I mean an entirely compulsory, almost genetic urge that inevitably causes you to end your life. It was inevitable. Hate the game, not the player.

Do you think some people just have an inborn urge that eventually leads to their death? I'm not much of a believer in destiny, but when it becomes almost scientific, I think it holds some weight.

Discuss.
Well, I can relate to it slightly but not to a very strong level, and that is mostly caused by tragedies rather than a genetic urge...

Hope you don't off yourself before it's time OP :3
 

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Well, I can relate to it slightly but not to a very strong level, and that is mostly caused by tragedies rather than a genetic urge...

Hope you don't off yourself before it's time OP :3
http://cdn.mdjunction.com/components/com_joomlaboard/uploaded/images/hugs05-446cc35671126ad37759657dddf7c764.jpg

I agree with KC's post. I never have had a "genetic urge" to want to die but I think a lot of thoughts of suicide some when a person feels trapped or feels like there's no way out. In the weird dramatic experience I was in, that's one of the reasons why religion became very important to me. But truly, maybe you want to talk about this feeling? Just think you're young and you still have a lot to live for.
 

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I see that you're a type 5 and it seems to be a common thing for many 5's to be attracted to a darkness. I've recently been researching the possibility of having a 4w5, or 4w3 heart fix for myself ... I've always had this feeling of dying early myself. Sometimes it comes from "What's really the point of living when living is merely a path taken towards death." ... What's the worst that death could bring? Separation from others at the most? I've also considered that a loss of life itself may be the entry point to a life hereafter.

But what's the point of considering a hereafter when what is current is not ever-lasting. I don't want to be immortal, but I do wish to leave an immortal legacy behind through my children and good deeds in the world.

I don't know if it's genetic or not .. but I will reveal that I've had existentialist thoughts since I was only 13. [now 31]. I sometimes lie in bed and imagine my own death .. I think about the impact it would have on others. I also think about the premature death of others and how I would cope with their deaths. These thoughts have been there with me since I entered teenage.

I've written stories about my death .. journals .. I've even gotten myself close to several suicide attempts but never really pushed myself over the edge. I sometimes believe that it's good to experience the darkness because without experiencing darkness one cannot appreciate the light you know? I also posted this a while ago that I like to be light for other people's darkness .. and the primary reason for that is that I have experienced almost all forms of darkness myself so I can empathise well with the plight of those who say that their thoughts turn dark.

If you want to describe your experience with darkness further, I will be more than willing to discuss it with you here, or via PM's whichever you find comfortable.
 
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