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Discussion Starter #1
The ONLY way i can talk deeply, comfortably, and honestly is when i'm not paying any attention to the conversation. i'm barely listening to whats being said, even less to what i'm saying, i'm completely off in my own head. daydreaming about nothing and everything.

I think INFP's are often so troubled talking to people because deep down, they know they're capable of being natural, elegant, and fluid, and when they focus in and listen to themselves speak, and they play back everything they've said, they're stumbling, fumbling and mumbling (teehee). we (i think i'm INFP, but i change my mind daily) forget how to let ourselves talk naturally.

am i all alone in this?
 
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I can be extremely inarticulate and stilted. I can never really articulate my thoughts because most of the time it's so hard to fully capture them and express them fully. I end up making a lot of incoherent hand gestures and flailing around like mad person.

I feel like an octopus grabbing at small and elusive fish that are swimming in many directions. :crazy:
 

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It looked better on paper is one of the sayings i..well say all the time and its exactly your point. My thoughts made so much more sense before I made them vocal.

though I disagree, on conversations that i'm off in my own head i hear like every 6th word and I usually give noncommittal grunts and stuff and don't really involve myself. and its because I didn't find it interesting. if I find a conversation interesting...then I'm focused and attentive. I also do MUCH better on 1 on 1 or smaller groups. i do start to wander off mentally during conversations with bigger groups, even if it is interesting/relevant.
 

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It's really hard for me to like, express things vocally.
I say things like "like" and "um" a lot and then when I get tired of trying to explain myself, "never mind."
It's easier for me to write letters.
 

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I think it just depends on where I'm at or how I'm conversing with someone and in what way.
Talking on the phone, awkward. One on One face to face, easy flow mostly but still some awkward pauses. Group, silence for the most part. If I don't pay attention it makes me nervous because I'll always get caught off guard.
 

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It looked better on paper is one of the sayings i..well say all the time and its exactly your point. My thoughts made so much more sense before I made them vocal.

though I disagree, on conversations that i'm off in my own head i hear like every 6th word and I usually give noncommittal grunts and stuff and don't really involve myself. and its because I didn't find it interesting. if I find a conversation interesting...then I'm focused and attentive. I also do MUCH better on 1 on 1 or smaller groups. i do start to wander off mentally during conversations with bigger groups, even if it is interesting/relevant.
That explains me, but if I feel the conversation has meaning the group size won't bother me as much, and I'll have no problem paying attention and keeping up my energy. If it's just mundane usual talk that is just useless facts or ideas I'll find ways to twist it into something I think is funny, or interesting, but still after awhile get tired of that and slowly start to drift off catching less and less of the conversation.
 

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I've been told that sometimes I speak pretty articulately, but I think that just depends on how comfortable I am, or how much I know about something.

But even when comfortable, I'll find myself going into my own head and I'll be saying something about tractors or something and I'll forget a word completely. "Um, you know... what's the word? I know it... I just can't... uh... oh yes, wheels!"

One of my friends is incredibly used to this and just fills me in as I go. It's pretty embarassing. And I mumble a lot and almost stutter sometimes when I'm nervous.
 

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The ONLY way i can talk deeply, comfortably, and honestly is when i'm not paying any attention to the conversation. i'm barely listening to whats being said, even less to what i'm saying, i'm completely off in my own head. daydreaming about nothing and everything.

I think INFP's are often so troubled talking to people because deep down, they know they're capable of being natural, elegant, and fluid, and when they focus in and listen to themselves speak, and they play back everything they've said, they're stumbling, fumbling and mumbling (teehee). we (i think i'm INFP, but i change my mind daily) forget how to let ourselves talk naturally.

am i all alone in this?
sounds similar to me - I hate it when put under the spotlight and I get tongue-tied
Posted via Mobile Device
 

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I'm often afraid that if I let myself loose and talk naturally, I would make a fool of myself and after that become a little awkward. Not to mention that I would replay and replay in my mind what happened thinking "Whyyy did I do/say that? Whhhyyyy???"
 

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Discussion Starter #12
hmm, well don't get me wrong, talking out loud can be awkward for me, but for other reasons. as INFPs i think we think faster/more clearly in our minds, so we almost have to kindof translate it into real speech when we bring it out. maybe thats why we get all jumbled?

anyway, lately i've been comnpletely eliminating that process. so i'm actually just thinking things, not being self-conscious, not listening to whats coming from my mouth, and i don't have to repeat myself or articulate my points at all (a first for me). basically thinking things as the primary process, saying them as an afterthought, instead of building up the act of speech as some mighty feat, and trying to do it perfectly.

or, thats not making sense, and i made it all up in my head. =P
you tell me.
 

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Discussion Starter #13
I'm often afraid that if I let myself loose and talk naturally, I would make a fool of myself and after that become a little awkward. Not to mention that I would replay and replay in my mind what happened thinking "Whyyy did I do/say that? Whhhyyyy???"
THIS. i'm trying to let loose, and stop holding myself back so much. whatever the consequences. and then NOT replay them. =P

hell knows, as INFPs, we've probably all done some retarded things. and we'll probably do a few more. but thats not a reason to not contribute anything. we're free to put forward intelligent, spiritual insights, and make an ass of ourselves, within the course of two minutes. everything's an adventure with the INFP.
 
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