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Well, a lot of people say I have a split personality, I'm either lovely or absolutely horrible. Which.. I now agree to. But when I'm nasty, I'm fully aware I'm being nasty, I know what to say to make people cry even.. And I know what to say to make them happy. What do you guys think?
 

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I think it's interesting you considered the opposite of evil to be nice.

What was your rationale there?
 

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Discussion Starter #3
I think it's interesting you considered the opposite of evil to be nice.

What was your rationale there?
Mm, that's true. Didn't even realise. Because.. when I'm nasty, it's like people say "ooh, you're evil" But, I'd never call myself angelic, or good.." Extremely good.. Doesn't make sense. Like, acting nice.. Being nice to others. Being good to others out of principle, I don't do that, I'm 'good' because I want to be, so I'd say more nice.. Nice, going out of my way to be nice. Or, going out of my way to be nasty.
I don't think I'm claiming them to be opposites, maybe just my preference on how I act, if you get me? :)
 

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I'm not like this at all. In my younger days, I could be. Actually, then and now, when someone is speaking in a manner which displays a lack of regard for others I tend to cut out feeling and break down their every flaw to a "T". I suppose this may be what you're speaking of, but I'd never do it because I was angry or frustrated at someone I cared about. I grew out of that a long time ago. Those who get to see that are always surprised but thankful, except for the one on the receiving end, who, by all accounts, deserved it.
 

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but I'd never do it because I was angry or frustrated at someone I cared about.
You see, that's the thing. If I'm pissed off at an individual, I think I can contain it. But if I'm in a bad mood, I'll lash out at individuals I'm close to. Also, I'd hardly ever admit this, if my family didnt say it to me often.
 

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To me this what people do when they're too nice and they snap. l honestly view it more like Fe behavior but l can see Fi being similar. more likely Fi dominant to me...

Sometimes Fi users will refuse to speak up when someone pisses them off and build internal rage that they release at some point. Fe users can have the same kind of rage, maybe even worse because they're inclined to help people and express content (generalization).

l can't relate but l can see how l could, if l chose to. Probably when l was younger, l was more involved with the way l affected other people and it could manifest either way.

Actually with Fi dominants l've seen them finally ''blow up'' and say all the things they've wanted to and it's a little bit sad. They thought they were saying evil, horrible things but they were mostly things other people might not have held back and it was like they thought they were affecting people wayyyy more than they were.

So, they were either so nice that they thought those things were incredibly mean or they just thought they had a major impact on people when they didn't, l don't know lol.
 

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This is a maturity thing, IMO. Much of what @OMG WTF BRO said is true, of me anyway, when I was much more immature. ENFP's often share thoughts and feelings, when those thoughts and feelings won't negatively affect others. Constantly filtering all of this leads to a clog in said filter...and then...the line purges with an awful display of anger, frustration and lack of concern for the person listening.

I'd be willing to bet, often when you explode, it's over trivial things that aren't even the core of what you're upset about. You bury those things so deep that when it comes time to purge, all the little annoyances come out instead of the deep rooted anger you feel. Your filter is clogged and anger reservoir is overflowing....but only that which is near the surface escapes and does so in a manner which seems unjustified based on the context.


Advice: talk about the things that hurt you and bother you deeply. Find an outlet to relieve and purge some of that anger and frustration, rather than taking it out on those around you. I was actually rather vial sometimes in my teen years due to a lot of repressed anger. Now, I've grown up and found healthier ways to relieve such things as well as learned to communicate and not be embarrassed for that which truly hurts me.


Just thoughts.
 

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It takes one hell of a lot to get me to be nasty to anyone, I'll stand up for myself a little if someone's doing something to annoy me or something that feels like it's an attack on me but I'm way too considerate about hurting their feelings.

Actually with Fi dominants l've seen them finally ''blow up'' and say all the things they've wanted to and it's a little bit sad. They thought they were saying evil, horrible things but they were mostly things other people might not have held back and it was like they thought they were affecting people wayyyy more than they were.
That makes perfect sense to me :)

Look at what happens when I finally give in being "too nice", it took me a month of being told I was wrong and that I'd been setting out to hurt her before I even got to this point.

http://personalitycafe.com/advice-center/146642-girl-bad-me-2.html#post3738721 - Look at post #15 and her response in #16 (I don't know her personality type, possibly also ENFP but mixed in with a little crazy)
 

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It takes one hell of a lot to get me to be nasty to anyone, I'll stand up for myself a little if someone's doing something to annoy me or something that feels like it's an attack on me but I'm way too considerate about hurting their feelings.



That makes perfect sense to me :)

Look at what happens when I finally give in being "too nice", it took me a month of being told I was wrong and that I'd been setting out to hurt her before I even got to this point.

http://personalitycafe.com/advice-center/146642-girl-bad-me-2.html#post3738721 - Look at post #15 and her response in #16 (I don't know her personality type, possibly also ENFP but mixed in with a little crazy)
Jesus christ:/

Yea, l don't know >_> l dated one ENFP who was moody but he never went there like that. Just, we communicated in a way where he wouldn't have said those things.

With people who are "figuring you out'' and then waiting to blow up like that l'm usually scarred from it xD l can see it coming though. Just the way they communicate with me, it means they didn't really get me in the first place and they also say weird things nobody else thinks about me like you mentioned there.
 

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Yea, l don't know >_> l dated one ENFP who was moody but he never went there like that. Just, we communicated in a way where he wouldn't have said those things.

With people who are "figuring you out'' and then waiting to blow up like that l'm usually scarred from it xD l can see it coming though. Just the way they communicate with me, it means they didn't really get me in the first place and they also say weird things nobody else thinks about me like you mentioned there.
As I said, it took me a month to get to the point where I just had to say what I was thinking, I'd tried the softly softly approach and it wasn't working.

It's the hard part about being an ENFP though, I actually feel more worried about her than I do annoyed or upset.
 

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I don't think what you're talking about is due to type (if it's anything like what Losthemarbles is talking about).

I might know what hurts people, but that doesn't mean I'll go all out against someone I care about because I'm in a bad mood.
 

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No, I mean I think it is. I've read alot about ENFP and so many people and one expert has said, they walk into a room and they know if someone's upset, they know what are they are saying will effect someone. Whereas my ENTP identical twin brother can also be a bastard but he gets let off cause it's not on purpose and I think if you look into, it's extremely to do with type.
 

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I don't think what you're talking about is due to type (if it's anything like what Losthemarbles is talking about).

I might know what hurts people, but that doesn't mean I'll go all out against someone I care about because I'm in a bad mood.
firstly....I haven't seen you around in forever...HOW THE HELL ARE YOU!:happy::happy:


Secondly, I think type could play a role. Not necessarily in the actions by themselves but, in the choices in dealing with stresses and pain that lead to the REaction. I'd bet someone in the ENT category would be less likely to lose their shit as they're more apt to tell it like it is and not let emotional turmoil build within them. Just my thoughts. They say things that hurt, but it's often due to them not "fluffing it", so to speak. ENFPs tend to "fluff" more to protect feelings and avoid controversy. I always loved to argue when younger...but hated controversy. I'd argue over superfluous shit and ignore the more pressing issues...until.....KABOOM!
 

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firstly....I haven't seen you around in forever...HOW THE HELL ARE YOU!:happy::happy:


Secondly, I think type could play a role. Not necessarily in the actions by themselves but, in the choices in dealing with stresses and pain that lead to the REaction. I'd bet someone in the ENT category would be less likely to lose their shit as they're more apt to tell it like it is and not let emotional turmoil build within them. Just my thoughts. They say things that hurt, but it's often due to them not "fluffing it", so to speak. ENFPs tend to "fluff" more to protect feelings and avoid controversy. I always loved to argue when younger...but hated controversy. I'd argue over superfluous shit and ignore the more pressing issues...until.....KABOOM!
:) Thanks for the warm welcome!

I see what you're saying and agree, especially about the emotional turmoil and fluffing.

Sometimes I even get argumentative (or even button pushing) to push people away if I feel too conflicted or overwhelmed by my feelings/their feelings. Being honest about conflict or personal desires isn't my strong point :(.

Plus, I bet it hurts less when an ENT lashes out, because you expect it.

I think it's best to process and own negative feelings before sharing them.

That's easier said then done though. Sometimes, when really emotional, "I hate you, you're mean" is easier to say then, "I felt hurt when you did x, because I was afraid it meant y, and I really want w, because I feel s for you." (I don't think I'm using the letters properly).
 

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:) Thanks for the warm welcome!

I see what you're saying and agree, especially about the emotional turmoil and fluffing.

Sometimes I even get argumentative (or even button pushing) to push people away if I feel too conflicted or overwhelmed by my feelings/their feelings. Being honest about conflict or personal desires isn't my strong point :(.

Plus, I bet it hurts less when an ENT lashes out, because you expect it.

I think it's best to process and own negative feelings before sharing them.

That's easier said then done though. Sometimes, when really emotional, "I hate you, you're mean" is easier to say then, "I felt hurt when you did x, because I was afraid it meant y, and I really want w, because I feel s for you." (I don't think I'm using the letters properly).

The letters worked perfectly :wink:. See my prior post, as, I mentioned this. Personally though, I think discussing it, calmly, is important before processing and owning your feelings as, they may be due to misunderstandings that could quite easily be clarified as opposed t drawing conclusions and owning feelings which are formed under pretense.

And, you're very welcome for the....welcome:tongue:. The interactions we've had have always been positive ones and...I missed seeing your posts.
 

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The letters worked perfectly :wink:. See my prior post, as, I mentioned this. Personally though, I think discussing it, calmly, is important before processing and owning your feelings as, they may be due to misunderstandings that could quite easily be clarified as opposed t drawing conclusions and owning feelings which are formed under pretense.

And, you're very welcome for the....welcome:tongue:. The interactions we've had have always been positive ones and...I missed seeing your posts.
Thanks--that's really nice of you to say.

That's a good point--many a hurt feeling is due to misunderstanding.

I also want to add though, that trust is the foundation for intimate relationships.

People need to be able to allow themselves to expose vulnerabilities to their partner. That trust is violated when one partner tears the other down without mercy. In a relationship, both partners end up knowing where/what each other's buttons are--but the care they feel for the other should prevent them from causing damage to each other by pushing these buttons. We should push our own buttons before we touch a partner's. We should communicate our own vulnerable feelings instead of attacking a partner's.

But yeah--calm honest communication about a conflict. Honestly, I think maybe it's just as much of a problem to avoid communicating about a perceived issue because you're afraid of hurting another person.
 

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Thanks--that's really nice of you to say.

That's a good point--many a hurt feeling is due to misunderstanding.

I also want to add though, that trust is the foundation for intimate relationships.

People need to be able to allow themselves to expose vulnerabilities to their partner. That trust is violated when one partner tears the other down without mercy. In a relationship, both partners end up knowing where/what each other's buttons are--but the care they feel for the other should prevent them from causing damage to each other by pushing these buttons. We should push our own buttons before we touch a partner's. We should communicate our own vulnerable feelings instead of attacking a partner's.

But yeah--calm honest communication about a conflict. Honestly, I think maybe it's just as much of a problem to avoid communicating about a perceived issue because you're afraid of hurting another person.
You're last line has been much of my point. Nothing good comes from harboring anger and/or frustration. True that some things are better left unsaid, but, some things unsaid can cause much unnecessary turmoil and pain.

You're welcome...btw.
 

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You're last line has been much of my point. Nothing good comes from harboring anger and/or frustration. True that some things are better left unsaid, but, some things unsaid can cause much unnecessary turmoil and pain.

You're welcome...btw.

Edit: I could not agree with your comment on trust more...though, it will happen on occasion. Part of relationships is also forgiveness..but, some lines crossed can not be undone.
 
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