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Discussion Starter #1
How do you people feel about not feeling extreme emotion a whole lot?
I finished school a couple of days ago when I got my exam results, everyone was hugging and crying and stuff and were all 'Oh I'm going to miss you so much',I felt kind of embarrassed for their sake, I just wanted to get out of there and go home.

I suppose I don't get attached to people but it's kind of worrying given I knew these people for five years, I felt nothing for any one of them. I don't really tend to feel extreme emotion a lot, joy or sadness, just kind of anxious the whole time, which I try and combat to a certain degree with meditation. Well I just wanted to say all this because it's fucking Bullshit.

So how do you guys feel about having to be so reserved and cold all the time? I don't want advice really in how to change because I've tried and kind of failed to change, bar going on benzodiazepines. Do you tend to feel the same? :crazy::crazy::crazy:
 

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I am the same way. Unless I really connect with someone, I don't really care too much about leaving them. Especially when I know I can still Facebook/email/call/text them. Which I don't usually. When I left school, I was glad to be out of there, too. I didn't relate to anyone, and developed my T very strongly - or maybe I used it as a cover for loneliness.

How strong is your T?

I do feel extreme emotion, much of the time. It's not always related to acquaintances, though. Family, my special ones, nature, my causes. I don't show my emotion, though. I don't trust ANYONE. Funny, but when I'm the happiest, off in dreamland, people will ask me why I'm so depressed. When I'm depressed, I do my best to hide it. It's just who I am, and I've never thought about coping with it. I don't have to be reserved, I guess. I choose to.
 

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I guess it's all the sensors going on my nerves. You tell them something and they don't get it and ask the same question x times again. It's kind of a superiority thing with me. If others would put the same effort into understanding me as I would in them then I could feel something. But recently I have become more social and even though I know more people than ever I don't feel happier at all. All of it is just temporary. And that sucks. Still looking for someone to stick around.
 

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Emotions can be worn out and then you'll basically lose the ability to use em for a while as such is a self-defense mechanism built into your conscious to prevent psychosis.

and if people think that the average person can't push themselves to near psychotic states by themselves, they are wrong.

INFP's are definitely the kind of people to wear out their emotions.
 

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I'm pretty aloof most of the time about things and people that don't concern me too much. I felt like that in school when everyone was crying when we were about to leave I didn't care much all. I didn't hang out with them much anyway so it wasn't a big deal to me. I'm like that in most social situations.
 

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If I don't feel a strong connection, it's pretty easy for me not to feel anything either. I used to think there was something wrong with me but then I met people I really clicked with and was devastated when they left.
I'm gad I don't feel too much for too many people because it's like an all consuming obsession when I do.
It would be nice for once not to be one extreme or the other, dammit.
 

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If I don't feel a strong connection, it's pretty easy for me not to feel anything either. I used to think there was something wrong with me but then I met people I really clicked with and was devastated when they left.
I'm gad I don't feel too much for too many people because it's like an all consuming obsession when I do.
It would be nice for once not to be one extreme or the other, dammit.
Exactly!

(10 characters.)
 

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I don't tend to care deeply about many people. I will become attached to few, but my attchements are stong. People don't have my trust easily or in a short amount of time. Few people stick in my life but those that do are very important to me.
 

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I have a very similar answer to the others who replied. I am very selective with who I associate with even when I was young. My mom use to tell me that whenever some strange who I never met held me I would always just start randomly crying uncontrollable. Not until I got back into the arms of a family member or a close family friend did I stop crying just as fast as I started. Its funny because my sister is just the opposite. I guess its easier being unattached to people since most of the time they seem to let you down one way or another so why waste the time.
 
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to the op - i view a lot of public displays of emotion or rather OVER-emotion as just bullshit...typically dished out by 'cool' teenagers. It's just attention seeking to make up for their small brains.Its swallowed up whole by simialr types.

One of my 'favourite' examples of bullshit friendship was when seeing Big Brother the UK version some years ago. 2 women were talking to each other and they were doing all the hugging and saying 'you're my best friend and I'll never forget you' thing. 2 days later one of them was evicted from the BB house and one of the tasks given was to name the evictees in order of eviction...you guessed where this is heading?...the woman who stayed in the house could NOT even name her 'friend' let alone place her as the most recent person evicted.
 

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oh my theory why INFPs can be seen as unemotional is that we have VERY STRONG emotions and know that if we let them out we can look stupid, feel embarassed and the other people will not understand.

I think we learn quickly how to suppress and even bury them...bottling up emotions I think is a VERY common INFP trait.

If they were NOT intense I think we'd show them more readily
 

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Discussion Starter #13
oh my theory why INFPs can be seen as unemotional is that we have VERY STRONG emotions and know that if we let them out we can look stupid, feel embarassed and the other people will not understand.

I think we learn quickly how to suppress and even bury them...bottling up emotions I think is a VERY common INFP trait.

If they were NOT intense I think we'd show them more readily
Actually that makes a lot of sense. That's why we get so sad when we try to be 'ourselves' as such and find we don't have the strength. Maybe all those unidentified emotions are poisonous when bottled up, hence constant anxiety and whatnot.
 

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Wow, I feel SO identified with this post. In fact, I lived exactly the same thing. I finished school like 6 months ago and almost all the guys there were exactly as you describe them, hugging and crying and all those stuffs you see in the movies. And I knew them for 14 years :crazy:.

to the op - i view a lot of public displays of emotion or rather OVER-emotion as just bullshit...typically dished out by 'cool' teenagers. It's just attention seeking to make up for their small brains.Its swallowed up whole by simialr types.
I totally agree. It's just I cannot get emotional with such "stereotypical" things, I don't know how to describe it very well. It's like, even if I have all these INFP characteristics such as always be gentle with people and get hurt when I do something that makes them feel bad, I hated to share the feelings of a "mass" without real identity. I see them as feeling just what it is supposed to feel. I only can cry when something is really disturbing me in the inside.

For example, I have quit my original city to go to university and, even if I have a lot of friends who are extremely good with me, I feel completely psychologically alone :sad:. In my old city I had a friend who I'm pretty sure could really understand me even if he was very cold (I think he's an INTJ) and when I told him how normal was all the people I knew now and that there was no one with his personality I couldn't avoid crying:blushed:.
 

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Ive always had the same sort of connection with people as you guys... Even if Im friendly, I rarely feel strongly connected to people unless they have earned my trust which isnt easy... Ive always been a quiet, patient social observer that doesnt get caught up in emotion like those around me... its not that Im cold or heartless but I dont show my feelings openly to other which results in the invisible distance I have to people... Like what was said above, I feel very strongly but its like theres no way to clearly express myself without confusing or even offsetting others, so I float in limbo between the outside of social circles and my own vast inner world...
 

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Fi.

90% about yourself.. 5-99% about an SO, maybe 1 or less over an inner circle (0% if there is an SO)

Everyone else can just go die?

Or perhaps you're all facilitators who are either fully involved or can remain distant.
 

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It takes too much energy to let out all that emotion (if it's a situation where I'm feeling it) in front of people, for one thing. For another, since I pretty much keep to myself, I don't feel all that connected to most people I know. It's almost like a defense (not showing emotion) to keep from adding more emotion to my already naturally emotion-laden internal momologue.

I sometimes feel like I'm expected to make a show of emotion just because others are doing so. Displays of that kind are too insincere for me to be able to pull off. I hate saying good-bye to co-wokers who are leaving and will try to be elsewhere at their departure to avoid it. I even hate saying good-bye when visiting relatives leave. I sort of wish they'd just pack up and leave during the night, to avoid all the hugs and teary-eyed sentiment, even if its sincere.

I also try to hide it if I'm not feeling well. I hate for people to make a big fuss and ask me a lot of questions. 99% of the time the thing upsetting me or making me ill isn't somethng I want to discuss with casual acquaintances or co-workers. I've always had little patience with people who come to work with messed up hair, rumpled clothes, and no makeup, when they're usually neat and well groomed, like they're expecting everyone to say, "Oh, poor baby, what's wrong??!!" I'm always thinking to myself, if it was really that bad, they would have stayed home.
 

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that was me in school too. everyone got saddened and I wanted to leave early.
I always flat line(emotionally) but then explode with feelings at times... it is horrible, but both have their wonders.and psychosis, I wouldnt doubt it...
 
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