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How developed would you consider your emotional intelligence to be?

I have an ENTP friend (previously thought of herself as being an INTJ) and yesterday as we were talking, it got me thinking about emotional intelligence and such. Both of us decipher emotions in others and empathize (though not often sympathize) and understanding what they feel and why on a deeper level than most. With this, we're both good at making people feel comfortable, getting them to trust us and open up to us. It's like we're aware and capable of turning off or emphasizing any emotion necessary to get a certain reaction.
.... when we actually want to. When we don't, we purposely choose to hurt/ignore/troll people and know how our actions are impacting them without caring (but that's a different thing on it's own).

Perhaps this isn't mbti related at all, I was just curious considering we're both apparently ENTPs and she is the only one I've met who does this in the same manner as me. Was curious about other ENTPs, how developed do you believe your emotional intelligence is?
 
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l'm actually pretty reactive to vibes and emotional states in the atmosphere and have zero ''boundary issues'' that are supposed to be related with inferior Si. l will be the one to pull away and l find some people just awful to be around lol.

lt doesn't mean l'll always be accommodating, like you said, sometimes l can't be assed.

Something l have noticed though is that l'm losing a bit of that people sensitivity with age? Not quite as aware in some ways, but still more socially aware than many people. Maybe lessened anxiety.
 

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I do the same thing.....regularly. Even when I *know* no good will come out of a particular way of treating someone, if I don't care I will do it anyway. And either be indifferent to the negative reaction or even enjoy it sometimes.
 

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The following is a summarized version of your results, categorized as Strengths, Potential Strengths, and Limitation.

Strengths

·You were able to recognize the emotions depicted on the test
·You are doing well in the area of Emotional Understanding
·You performed well on the emotional integration aspect of the test
·You chose good forms of resolution for others' conflict situations on the test
·You are socially insightful
·You possess healthy coping skills
·You are driven toward further self-development
·You are able to let go/rise above minor issues
·You are able/willing to adapt your social skills to the circumstances around you
·The manner in which YOU would resolve conflict situations on the test was healthy

Potential Strengths

·You have a satisfactory emotional IQ level
·You are doing reasonably well in the area of Emotional Identification, Perception, and Expression
·You possess some emotional self-awareness
·You are somewhat aware of your strengths and weaknesses
·You are moderately comfortable with emotions in general
·You sometimes act in accordance with your values
·You are somewhat empathetic
·You are doing reasonably well in the area of Emotional Management
·You show some self-control

Limitations

·Improvement is required in the area of Emotional Facilitation of Thought
·You have a tendency to ruminate excessively
·Your approach to problem solving is not always conducive to resolution
·Your mindset could stand to be more positive
·Your impulse control needs improvement
·Your resilience/hardiness needs further development
·You are not very self-motivated
·You are not very assertive
·Your self-esteem needs to be strengthened
·You do not seem to be very content
·You seem to struggle to act independently
·Your flexibility is limited
Emotional Intelligence Test



^My EQ evaluation seems pretty average. It could be better, but it's definitely not bad.
 

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How developed would you consider your emotional intelligence to be?

I have an ENTP friend (previously thought of herself as being an INTJ) and yesterday as we were talking, it got me thinking about emotional intelligence and such. Both of us decipher emotions in others and empathize (though not often sympathize) and understanding what they feel and why on a deeper level than most. With this, we're both good at making people feel comfortable, getting them to trust us and open up to us. It's like we're aware and capable of turning off or emphasizing any emotion necessary to get a certain reaction.
.... when we actually want to. When we don't, we purposely choose to hurt/ignore/troll people and know how our actions are impacting them without caring (but that's a different thing on it's own).

Perhaps this isn't mbti related at all, I was just curious considering we're both apparently ENTPs and she is the only one I've met who does this in the same manner as me. Was curious about other ENTPs, how developed do you believe your emotional intelligence is?
I have found that guys equate emotional intelligence mostly to this: I can get what I want from my women.

Women equate emotional intelligence to this: A guy that acts the way she thinks he should.

Very very few get beyond that active definition, even if they wrote about it better on forums and such. Some of the most emotionally aware women (for any situation where they personally are not involved) are just plain hideous when it comes to EI when they ARE involved. I hear a lot of "I know but I just ...." - Fail.
 
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How developed would you consider your emotional intelligence to be?

I have an ENTP friend (previously thought of herself as being an INTJ) and yesterday as we were talking, it got me thinking about emotional intelligence and such. Both of us decipher emotions in others and empathize (though not often sympathize) and understanding what they feel and why on a deeper level than most. With this, we're both good at making people feel comfortable, getting them to trust us and open up to us. It's like we're aware and capable of turning off or emphasizing any emotion necessary to get a certain reaction.
.... when we actually want to. When we don't, we purposely choose to hurt/ignore/troll people and know how our actions are impacting them without caring (but that's a different thing on it's own).

Perhaps this isn't mbti related at all, I was just curious considering we're both apparently ENTPs and she is the only one I've met who does this in the same manner as me. Was curious about other ENTPs, how developed do you believe your emotional intelligence is?
This is actually spot on, the empathy vs sympathy part.
I don't know what you mean by emotional intelligence, but I'm very aware of what people are feeling and can generally see what their real motives are, even if they aren't immediately aware of it or trying to conceal it. I also tend to empathize with most but sympathize with little, and those I sympathize with appear to be NTs or NFs.

The people I neither sympathize or empathize with... are either scared of me or hate me. I try to avoid being an ass to people, even though long social exposure can get pretty bearing. But I still try to avoid it a lot and be sociable, I hate hurting others as a general rule, especially if they haven't wronged me. Was wondering if anybody else felt the same way
 

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I apologize, I'm not ENTP but I'm gonna post here anyways ^_^

I think my emotional intelligence is average at best. What I want to believe is that most people are translucent to me, that I can easily see motive, how to react and etc. But
actually... it's not emotions I look at, it's their words, actions, tone of voice, body language. I try to mind read and anticipate actions, maybe emotions. Somewhat of a guessing game that can sometimes become annoying/exhausting to the point I'll distance myself a bit (allow them to come to me, let them initiate so I can observe and take mental notes). Unless the person is completely direct (so I can determine validity): I don't trust purely emotional/voice tone (I ignore it, if no action confirms), and I won't react with emotion (outside my comfort zone). I may also ignore actions that are too subtle (in addition actions >>>>>words), and I often miss body language because I'm not looking at the person.

I can empathize, but I'd rather give logical advice than emotional support. Perfect example, my best friend is definitely an ESFJ (borderline Extrovert, borderline Judging). He tells me his problems first, and appreciates my thoughts/advice because I give different and multiple perspectives (purely objective). From my experience, I've kept him from being overwhelmed by emotion while helping arrive at a good resolution. I appreciate he knows I suck at dealing with certain emotions, and doesn't rely on me for sympathy or sentiment.
 

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Discussion Starter #8 (Edited)
I have found that guys equate emotional intelligence mostly to this: I can get what I want from my women.

Women equate emotional intelligence to this: A guy that acts the way she thinks he should.

Very very few get beyond that active definition, even if they wrote about it better on forums and such. Some of the most emotionally aware women (for any situation where they personally are not involved) are just plain hideous when it comes to EI when they ARE involved. I hear a lot of "I know but I just ...." - Fail.
Well, that's a bit pathetic now. Does a significant portion actually only consider this? It goes far beyond just controlling others and SO, the fact that some may actually not recognize this is sad and perhaps proof of underdeveloped EI?
 

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I consider my emotional intelligence quite high, even though I have been called "cold". It's extremely rare to find myself in contact with someone who's emotion-fueled behavior is not instantly recognizable and predictable. I can clearly see my options laid out before me... how I can make it worse and how I can make it better. Being able to analyze emotions means I don't have to get caught up in it and make poor/reactionary decisions.

Emotional intelligence is a very handy skill for parenting too. I can keep everyone calm, including myself, and I can educate my kids. I show them what emotions look like, why they are happening (internal or external factors), and what can be done to mitigate their impact. This doesn't make us robots or "cold"! It means we can sweep aside non-useful details and remember the real goal we are trying to attain. If someone snaps at you, you don't have to be hurt or defensive. You can just look around, see that its a freaky hot day; bring the person a lemonade and voila. Peace. Happiness.
 

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Discussion Starter #10
This is actually spot on, the empathy vs sympathy part.
I don't know what you mean by emotional intelligence, but I'm very aware of what people are feeling and can generally see what their real motives are, even if they aren't immediately aware of it or trying to conceal it. I also tend to empathize with most but sympathize with little, and those I sympathize with appear to be NTs or NFs.

The people I neither sympathize or empathize with... are either scared of me or hate me. I try to avoid being an ass to people, even though long social exposure can get pretty bearing. But I still try to avoid it a lot and be sociable, I hate hurting others as a general rule, especially if they haven't wronged me. Was wondering if anybody else felt the same way
Can relate to most of this. Interesting what you stated about sympathizing with mainly NTs and NFs, I haven't really paid attention to which types I sympathize with more.
I choose to not sympathize or empathize only when I feel used, bullshited or manipulated by others. Then it turns to "well, two can play at this game" Though generally I don't to manipulate people in a negative way other than that, since I don't see much of a point in it. Generally (like you stated) I also try to be social to as well as help/be there for those who may not have anyone else to speak with, etc (genuinely wanted to be a psychologist at one point).
 

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I am truly horrible at my feelings. I do not relate to other people's feelings, but i can calm others down when their feelings overwhelm them.

i have no idea how emotionally mature I am.
 

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Guys equate emotional intelligence mostly to this: I can get what I want from my women.

Women equate emotional intelligence to this: A guy that acts the way she thinks he should.
What's the difference? :tongue:
 

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Well, that's a bit pathetic now. Does a significant portion actually only consider this? It goes far beyond just controlling others and SO, the fact that some may actually not recognize this is sad and perhaps proof of underdeveloped EI?
It's true, your suggestion. I considered only EI with respect to relationships and not all the surrounding EI issues. I guess I was in a mood.
 

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This is actually spot on, the empathy vs sympathy part.
I don't know what you mean by emotional intelligence, but I'm very aware of what people are feeling and can generally see what their real motives are, even if they aren't immediately aware of it or trying to conceal it. I also tend to empathize with most but sympathize with little, and those I sympathize with appear to be NTs or NFs.

The people I neither sympathize or empathize with... are either scared of me or hate me. I try to avoid being an ass to people, even though long social exposure can get pretty bearing. But I still try to avoid it a lot and be sociable, I hate hurting others as a general rule, especially if they haven't wronged me. Was wondering if anybody else felt the same way
This, exactly.

Honestly, l find sympathy without empathy pretty annoying. lt's mostly a knee jerk reaction, when a person simply feels bad ''for'' another person and doesn't really understand their problem or where they're coming from.

No variation...no way to detect underlying intention either.
 
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This is actually spot on, the empathy vs sympathy part.
I don't know what you mean by emotional intelligence, but I'm very aware of what people are feeling and can generally see what their real motives are, even if they aren't immediately aware of it or trying to conceal it. I also tend to empathize with most but sympathize with little, and those I sympathize with appear to be NTs or NFs.

The people I neither sympathize or empathize with... are either scared of me or hate me. I try to avoid being an ass to people, even though long social exposure can get pretty bearing. But I still try to avoid it a lot and be sociable, I hate hurting others as a general rule, especially if they haven't wronged me. Was wondering if anybody else felt the same way
Awesome response and it is very similar for me. If someone is extremely emotional it is a struggle to help them but I try my best I just cannot understand their approach or why they feel a certain way. I do my best and I try to show them that but sometimes all I can do is be there for them. I may be the odd man out but I have never really manipulated girls (once or twice but I was not happy with myself) I don't care if people think I am an asshole but I don't want people to think I am disloyal or sleazy. People may not like what I say but they don't question my character. I also have many female friends so I tend to be very protective of women and the idea of using them bugs me. If we are having casual sex I make sure we both understand that it is just sex and if anyone gets too attached the arrangement is off. I really don't do 1 night stands at all.
 

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I have found that guys equate emotional intelligence mostly to this: I can get what I want from my women.

Women equate emotional intelligence to this: A guy that acts the way she thinks he should.

Very very few get beyond that active definition, even if they wrote about it better on forums and such. Some of the most emotionally aware women (for any situation where they personally are not involved) are just plain hideous when it comes to EI when they ARE involved. I hear a lot of "I know but I just ...." - Fail.
F doms. The only explanation.
 

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Back, posting in here again. Came across an EQ test online, and surprisingly I score above average for emotional intelligence. I guess, I'm just not too confident when dealing with certain emotions, and the test questions weren't quite what I expected either (situation, action based questions).

Here's the link to the test, if anyone wants to take it

What's Your EQ? - Emotional Intelligence Test

(Bear with me, first link I've posted, not sure how it works yet lol). Nevermind, it posted correctly. Easy as, Copy, Paste, Enter ^_^
 

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Though generally I don't to manipulate people in a negative way other than that, since I don't see much of a point in it. Generally (like you stated) I also try to be social to as well as help/be there for those who may not have anyone else to speak with, etc (genuinely wanted to be a psychologist at one point).
I used to ''manipulate'' people for fun when I was younger (never with evil intent though). I had an easy time figuring out how to make people react a certain way (positively or negatively) and still do pretty much. This made me be seen either as a provocative or charming person.

I actually thought before of being a psychotherapist (or just helping people in general) also for this reason. I am good at making people feel comfortable when I want to. It is overall a useful tool to have as well.
 
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