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60 Posts
I usually don't express my feelings and today I cried. it all started when i couldn't catch a football while everyone could and i did the plays all wrong, so the coaches made me sit out, of course i didn't showed any expression but after practice in my room i was frustrated then finally i cried. then the next day i heard people talking how bad the other players were and im pretty sure they were talking about me. it bugs me because it was my 1st time playing and i never watch football. to make matters worse the coaches are our classmates. there's this one coach(aka classmate) i had a personal problem in the past and we both act like it never happened. i feel very shy when he watches me practice and think its part of the reason im not rlly trying as hard as usual. i think he's telling some people i suck at football and it hurts me bc i join to make friends and have fun there. This makes me mad bc in the past he made fun of me and everyone else was too embarassed to be my friend in middle school. He never said he was sorry. He only stopped because i send an email in his myspace to stop. The last thing he said is "ok penis". I mean for crying out loud im a girl. I was a loner for a long time and i thought i don't need any people in my life. so when i reach highschool i just ignored everyone and i noticed that guy was one of my classes that yr. then in sophmore yr, i noticed when i didn't have classes with him, lots of ppl liked me and i felt like myself. then junior yr, when i had the some of the same classes as him, i was more depress. Senior yr. i still hav classes with him and i used to sit next to him. When he talks to me he treated me as a normal human being as if nothing happend. but when i realize how much i suck at football, i think he's telling ppl how much i suck. i don't rlly care about that bc i know my catching skills aren't great, im just afraid that ppl would shun me down again like before. but for once i want to control my life again just like sophmore yr. I mean what should i do? should i stop playing football? should i continue playing football? would playing football get over my fear of him/emotional problem? I don't want to tell the teacher. PLEASE HELP ME!!! ANY ADVICE WOULD DO.