[VerySimple]

I usually don't express my feelings and today I cried. it all started when i couldn't catch a football while everyone could and i did the plays all wrong, so the coaches made me sit out, of course i didn't showed any expression but after practice in my room i was frustrated then finally i cried. then the next day i heard people talking how bad the other players were and im pretty sure they were talking about me. it bugs me because it was my 1st time playing and i never watch football. to make matters worse the coaches are our classmates. there's this one coach(aka classmate) i had a personal problem in the past and we both act like it never happened. i feel very shy when he watches me practice and think its part of the reason im not rlly trying as hard as usual. i think he's telling some people i suck at football and it hurts me bc i join to make friends and have fun there. This makes me mad bc in the past he made fun of me and everyone else was too embarassed to be my friend in middle school. He never said he was sorry. He only stopped because i send an email in his myspace to stop. The last thing he said is "ok penis". I mean for crying out loud im a girl. I was a loner for a long time and i thought i don't need any people in my life. so when i reach highschool i just ignored everyone and i noticed that guy was one of my classes that yr. then in sophmore yr, i noticed when i didn't have classes with him, lots of ppl liked me and i felt like myself. then junior yr, when i had the some of the same classes as him, i was more depress. Senior yr. i still hav classes with him and i used to sit next to him. When he talks to me he treated me as a normal human being as if nothing happend. but when i realize how much i suck at football, i think he's telling ppl how much i suck. i don't rlly care about that bc i know my catching skills aren't great, im just afraid that ppl would shun me down again like before. but for once i want to control my life again just like sophmore yr. I mean what should i do? should i stop playing football? should i continue playing football? would playing football get over my fear of him/emotional problem? I don't want to tell the teacher. PLEASE HELP ME!!! ANY ADVICE WOULD DO.

 

[strawberryLola]

It doesn't matter what they think. It's what you like, what you want, what you find fulfilling. It's not like you are out there to sabotage their game, so if you want to stay and continue working at some skills to amp yourself up for football, why not?

If people are going to talk trash about you- look on the bright side- least you know who your real friends are, and you can make a choice to show them that you're much better than that. People who tend to put others down, tend to do so because they feel like trash about themselves so they find what they perceive as an easy target to pick at. If they truly were talented/confident in football, if anything, they would offer to help you, including the classmate/coach.

In the end, it's ultimately what makes you happy. If you want to quit, because it's not working for you, then do so, but it sounds like your heart is in it, so focus on what you want to do 110% (I'm sure an INTJ doesn't need to be told this :happy. Best of luck.

 

[Bright Laughter]

Oh wow :sad:

You mentioned that you joined to have fun and make friends. When you're more use to being a loner, it shows tremendous strength to take a step like joining a sport you don't even know to try and break out of your shell. So, first off, that was really brave, and you should give yourself some credit for that.

In the situation that you describe, it can seem like you're setup for failure from the start. I had a similar situation in highschool. I was the new kid to the school, I joined a sport to also make friends. I was not a part of the popular group, they took an immediate disliking to me (or so it seemed to me) and I felt like they didn't want me to be as good as them. Since it was a team sport (volleyball), if they didn't like you...you were going to fail. So I quit. And I cried. Next season I tried another team sport (basketball). Same group of girls, same issue. Quit. Cried. The next season I tried another sport, but this time Tennis. (The group of girls did Golf that season). I had never played before. I made varsity before the end of the year.

Point being, understand your reason for joining (which I think you do). If it's strictly for fun & meeting people - then it doesn't sound like it's working out with the football. Is there something else at the school that would serve the same purpose, but be more suited for you? It wasn't that I was or wasn't good at sports, but I had to find the right conditions that suited my purpose the best. And, having done that, the issue with "those girls" became irrelevant (regardless of the hows & whys & not fair I had running through my head). I gained a group of friends completely separate from them & those that listened to them, that of course weren't liked by those girls either, but we were having too much fun to even give it a thought! It didn't bother me so much anymore what they *did* think and *did* do, because I at least had a place where I was accepted just as I was and I didn't even have to explain or excuse my odd/different ways.

If it's football that you're there for, then ok...stick that puppy out. If it's to do something physical, then maybe a different physical activity. If it's to make friends, then maybe something different even from sports altogether. If it's to become popular, then that's a whole 'nother can of worms. If it's just to have fun, then is there something else you find equally fun you can do, or is this "the" one thing you find fun. It sounds like football is new to you, so you probably don't really have your heart set on it.

I hope you let us know how it goes :wink:

 

[VerySimple]

Oh wow :sad:

You mentioned that you joined to have fun and make friends. When you're more use to being a loner, it shows tremendous strength to take a step like joining a sport you don't even know to try and break out of your shell. So, first off, that was really brave, and you should give yourself some credit for that.

In the situation that you describe, it can seem like you're setup for failure from the start. I had a similar situation in highschool. I was the new kid to the school, I joined a sport to also make friends. I was not a part of the popular group, they took an immediate disliking to me (or so it seemed to me) and I felt like they didn't want me to be as good as them. Since it was a team sport (volleyball), if they didn't like you...you were going to fail. So I quit. And I cried. Next season I tried another team sport (basketball). Same group of girls, same issue. Quit. Cried. The next season I tried another sport, but this time Tennis. (The group of girls did Golf that season). I had never played before. I made varsity before the end of the year.

Point being, understand your reason for joining (which I think you do). If it's strictly for fun & meeting people - then it doesn't sound like it's working out with the football. Is there something else at the school that would serve the same purpose, but be more suited for you? It wasn't that I was or wasn't good at sports, but I had to find the right conditions that suited my purpose the best. And, having done that, the issue with "those girls" became irrelevant (regardless of the hows & whys & not fair I had running through my head). I gained a group of friends completely separate from them & those that listened to them, that of course weren't liked by those girls either, but we were having too much fun to even give it a thought! It didn't bother me so much anymore what they *did* think and *did* do, because I at least had a place where I was accepted just as I was and I didn't even have to explain or excuse my odd/different ways.

If it's football that you're there for, then ok...stick that puppy out. If it's to do something physical, then maybe a different physical activity. If it's to make friends, then maybe something different even from sports altogether. If it's to become popular, then that's a whole 'nother can of worms. If it's just to have fun, then is there something else you find equally fun you can do, or is this "the" one thing you find fun. It sounds like football is new to you, so you probably don't really have your heart set on it.

I hope you let us know how it goes :wink:

Thank you so much for reading my situation. I thought no one would probably read it bc it's too long and i appreciate your response. When i read my own forum a few times, I finally pulled it back together. I told myself that night i wouldn't quit football bc if i quit then he would think that he got me. I'm glad that i stuck with football yesterday bc i met a lot of nice ppl in the end. in practice all the girls lined up, and he showed us to bump and to intercept the ball one time. then he asks if anyone wants to go first. no one didn't want to bump or intercept him, so he calls me to go. i said "ok i will" and the girls cheered. so i stood right in front of him with a little disgust look, then he whispers to me to backpedal. when the quarterback threw the ball i backpedal a few feet then i start chasing him after the ball. i caught the ball for a sec but it bounce off my hand. everyone and me was surprised i reached the ball before him and most of them gave me high fives. i kinda wished i bump/shove him away for the ball but oh well. at the end of practice, for some reason im the slowest person to get out of practice then he orders me to put the yellow flag in the bag. I purposely threw the yellow flag away from the bag and i told him he should pick it up. he was shock and said "what?" me i said "nah just kidding" then i laughed a little bc he thought i was serious. i walked over there picked it up and put it in the bag then he starts to laugh and told me i was messed up. the next day later in the morning i hanged out my usual spot and he walks passed me. in my usual mornings i never see him and when i saw him that morning he had his hair trimmed. i wasnt sure if was here to spy on me or avoid ppl that day bc of his new haircut bc he was wearing a hoodie all day. when i enter my last class of school, i saw him put some guy's bag in my chair. i just simply ignore him and put the bag at someone else's desk. it's wierd. im not sure what's going on here. What do you think he's doing to me?

 

[Bright Laughter]

it's wierd. im not sure what's going on here. What do you think he's doing to me?

Honestly...this part, I've got nothing. :crazy: I would need to actually see the interaction between you two and the body language. Maybe it's a secret crush? A new found respect for you & he doesn't know how to respond/interact with you? Or no feelings- but he isn't sure what the new "rules" for interacting with you are anymore since you stepped up to the plate. Pffffft....and I said I had nothing. Ha!

 

[VerySimple]

Maybe it's a secret crush? A new found respect for you & he doesn't know how to respond/interact with you? Or no feelings- but he isn't sure what the new "rules" for interacting with you are anymore since you stepped up to the plate.

I do agree with these possiblities, and i think he's trying to talk to me or make me notice him more. idk. i wished he was straight forward. i'll tell u how it goes later today.

 

[VerySimple]

After that one practice that I shined, the next practice I've noticed that he put me in all kinds of positions that I'm near him. Like he would be the quarterback and make me as the full back which is a position that is closest to the quarter back and tells me to block for him. At first i thought he was kidding bc im one of the smallest and light weight girls out there but i actually practiced that with him. I think i was a pretty bad fullback still. Sometimes later in practice he would walk pass me literally many times and it's like how can you not noticed that. At the end of practice, i wasn't sure what position in football i was going to play and i wasn't sure about the rules of football so I asked him a bunch of questions. He answered all my questions and then he tells me if i have any more questions i could ask him anytime. He gave a huge grin when he replied, which was kinda strange to me bc he usually doesnt talk to me like that before. So the next day later in class, he glanced at me and i just glanced back. I didn't talk to him at all today and I actually feel kinda bad bc I think he did wanted me to ask him for football help. To me this is awkard and ironic in the same time bc now the meanest person that picked on me and shunned me is actually wants to talk to me more than any other normal person. Do you think he's secretly crushing on me? Is he trying to reestablish a healthier bond with me?

 

[Bright Laughter]

Just going off of what you wrote, I'd totally say he's crushing on you. Maybe the guts it took to go play, despite your past together, made him see you in a whole new light. And he's digging it. :laughing:

Whatever it really is, time will tell, it sounds like you overcame some personal hurdles!! Yay breakthroughs!