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Hey everyone,

Just wondering, do any of you crave attention? I think I'm an attention whore but I don't think that's an ENFJ thing...I don't try to be an attention whore, but just our personality is loud, and I don't know if it's because of our personalities or if it's just me. I'm trying to tone down a bit on the attention whore stuff, but it's kinda hard. Just to be honest, I do like the attention, and I wonder if you guys too. But I think the best attention is when you pretend you don't like the attention, but people give it to you anyway...:wink: Let me know your thoughts.
 

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I generally like complements and ego-boosters, but I don't crave them. Most of the time, I shy away from them or get pissed because of them. I do better with criticisms, even if that's not natural for an ENFJ (it is said we are a sensitive bunch).

I've ALWAYS been the center of attention since I'm an only child and the only female among my cousins, and it's a bonus that I'm the eldest among them so I get everything with just one say. But it's actually the reason why I hate it when people notice me. When I wear new clothes and people complement me, I shy away and will probably never wear the clothes ever. I also hate fitting clothing for the same reason.

It depends on situation, really. I like complements about my skills and talents especially when I've worked hard on something, but if you ask me if I charge you and if I decline but you force it upon me, I get so stressed and would just give you the art and ignore you until you accept that it's free. If you're a friend, all I need is your happiness and nothing more. I'd just get frustrated and irritated if you force some payment to me. That's not just how I do things.
 

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I generally like complements and ego-boosters, but I don't crave them. Most of the time, I shy away from them or get pissed because of them. I do better with criticisms, even if that's not natural for an ENFJ (it is said we are a sensitive bunch).

I've ALWAYS been the center of attention since I'm an only child and the only female among my cousins, and it's a bonus that I'm the eldest among them so I get everything with just one say. But it's actually the reason why I hate it when people notice me. When I wear new clothes and people complement me, I shy away and will probably never wear the clothes ever. I also hate fitting clothing for the same reason.

It depends on situation, really. I like complements about my skills and talents especially when I've worked hard on something, but if you ask me if I charge you and if I decline but you force it upon me, I get so stressed and would just give you the art and ignore you until you accept that it's free. If you're a friend, all I need is your happiness and nothing more. I'd just get frustrated and irritated if you force some payment to me. That's not just how I do things.
Why do you believe you are an ENFJ and not an ENTJ, if you don't mind me asking?
 
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Why do you believe you are an ENFJ and not an ENTJ, if you don't mind me asking?
Mostly because of the "Under Stress" part. I don't turn into a control freak when I'm stressed (though I don't deny there are times, especially with deadlines, that I just push it all the way just so it won't exceed the time given). More often than not I just shrug things off until I feel it needs to be brought up. Sometimes I just suddenly cry because too much has been left unattended, which I have been said is a very ENFJ trait.

Also, I tend to gravitate to people more. In projects, especially when I'm leading a team, I usually value their personal growth more than the success of the actual project. Though I have a hard time telling them what's wrong, if it will benefit them, I will tell them in as little pain as possible. If I need to let go of specific people in the team, I find it very difficult for me. Even harder when they've been with me from the start. I'd rather make-up for their lack of than let them go all together. Sometimes, I would even go down a notch just for them. As opposed to ENTJs, which are goal oriented people, they will move away from people's emotions to make the ends meet. It does help the personal growth of the other party involved, but I myself would rather not be too frank and keep the harmony. I used to be very loose with my words, but now it's significantly difficult for me to do so because of a shift in perspective towards my goals in life.

And another thing about group projects, when my team are a team of lazy non-working people, I let them get the grade mainly because of my thinking that if I didn't let them get punished and they get used to just bumming around, when they graduate from college, they wouldn't have learned the skills needed to be in successful in life. See how I try to comfort myself when things like this happen? XD It's still very people oriented. I think ENTJs would react differently cause my ENTJ friend broke down today mainly because she did all of their groups final projects, but the other people still got the grade; some even higher. She told her professor from the beginning but the professor didn't do anything about it. She didn't know what else to do so she just cried today. I wouldn't have given a care cause to me, it's not my problem that they didn't learn anything. I learned a lot so I clearly have better chances.

Generally, what makes me an F is the fact that I learned to dislike hurting people even when it's direly needed in a situation and just bring it to myself to fix the entire situation. Sometimes, I take it to the extremes just to make sure everything is proper. Though, like I said, I don't doubt I lived as an ENTJ the majority of my life so I would most likely still hold very ENTJ mannerisms and traits, but my perspective of the world has shifted from getting the goal to making the experience worth-while for everyone involved or at least have myself grow a little bit in each experience. That by essence makes me think I'm more ENFJ than ENTJ.

Also, my INTJ friends ALWAYS deny my ENTJ results. They don't explain it, but they always say I'm full of emotions. Maybe I'll ask them and get back to you? C:
 

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Hmm interesting. Thanks for sharing. So it's certain things you want attention at. I guess that goes the same for me. There are things I want to be complimented for if I work hard on something. I don't know what's my deal of craving attention. I don't know if there's an insecurity that I have or if that's an ENFJ thing. I'm trying to tone down a bit since I've been known to be outspoken (just like the rest of us, or at least most of us). But we'll see.

On a side note, I know ENFJs tend to make meaningful friendships. Is it just me or is society in general superficial? It just seems like same crap different day. "How was your day?" "Did you watch the latest movie yet?" "I saw that on TV" etc etc. I don't know about you, but I do like having much more deeper conversations like, so what's been bothering you? What have you been struggling with? Let me know your thoughts. I mean look at our board, it's usually about something deep. Think about it.
 

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Hmm interesting. Thanks for sharing. So it's certain things you want attention at. I guess that goes the same for me. There are things I want to be complimented for if I work hard on something. I don't know what's my deal of craving attention. I don't know if there's an insecurity that I have or if that's an ENFJ thing. I'm trying to tone down a bit since I've been known to be outspoken (just like the rest of us, or at least most of us). But we'll see.

On a side note, I know ENFJs tend to make meaningful friendships. Is it just me or is society in general superficial? It just seems like same crap different day. "How was your day?" "Did you watch the latest movie yet?" "I saw that on TV" etc etc. I don't know about you, but I do like having much more deeper conversations like, so what's been bothering you? What have you been struggling with? Let me know your thoughts. I mean look at our board, it's usually about something deep. Think about it.
Yes, I do love really deep conversations and I find that it's the main reason why I have a lot of contacts.

I usually branch out to people, especially new friends. Sometimes, even when we're new friends, I can pick-up minor emotional changes between them and the deeper relationship starts from there. I like being in-tune with the emotions of other people and when I get to make them happy, it makes me happy inside as well. That, for me, is more fulfilling than getting praised for my deeds. Sure, I may have gotten attention, but what comes after? An ego-boost? I, though it might not apply to everyone, am very sure of myself so an ego-boost would do me little. Though, if I was the one that boosted someone's ego and they duly need it or just simply because I wanted to make their day, it's a much more enjoyable feeling for me.

I don't even remember if I had asked someone how their day was unless it's Course Card Distribution day. LOL. If they say they're happy because they got good grades, then I'm happy for them; otherwise, I can comfort them and advise them on what they could do. It's not the end yet; in fact, we're not yet even starting. XD

The society is generally superficial mainly because small talks are most probably needed to open up the deeper conversations. I do love it when we get from a really shallow topic to something as deep as life itself. Believe me, it has happened with one of my ISTJs. Sometimes, small things like "I watched Wicked the Musical!" opens up to future planning. My ISTJ and I had this theater talk in the library (LOL!) some few days ago and I started with my current addiction with Wicked. She then said that she wanted to join the theater and being a Production Management student, it is a highly likely job. I told her I'd join her and leech off of her apartment with my PS3 and pay rent, but she told me game time on my PS3 is rent. Then we started talking about what we could do and then how we would do it. After a while, we didn't realize that we were already planning the business of our group of friends, one that we planned back in high school and then something about being able to share to the needy and some more deep topics. All from a simple "I'm addicted with Wicked" statement. LOL. Sometimes superficiality might go a long way if you're patient enough to sit through it. C: And it's less overwhelming for new friends. XD
 

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I crave for attention yes, but I don't hunt for it in a wrong manner.

I just do my thing and be the best thing I can be without making any enemies. I agree with @The King Of Dreams that it's an age thing and maturity will slowly make it less and less important.

I know a group of people in uni who get a lot of attention, but not in the best way. They have some "gay dude" (I was close to using the F word given how much I hate this guy) that screams and sings poorly (so that everyone can hear his pitch going "off") in lectures and despite the attention, half the class hates them... well, until they get to know them personally of course...

Except the gay dude... I still hate his guts, and not cause he likes guys...

On the other hand, I try to get attention or "fame" by other means. My attention is often somewhat "given" to me. Lecturers call me out by name given the intellectual and intuitive arguments I give rather than just being an annoying dickhead. That is the kind of fame that does not require a loud voice.

And whatever negative opinions people have of me is out of fear of the unknown. Fear that I can easily make them look dumb by asking them questions I "know" they cannot answer, not cause I'm annoying or anything like that. When it comes to speaking to crowds, some girls sorta "hate" me not cause I present poorly or what not, but rather the way in which I present that allows me to get away with it.

I once said fuck in a formal presentation and got away with it given how good I was.

So going back to the question, yes, I love attention, but I rather it be given to me for a proper and valid reason rather than just pure extroversion or loud mouth attention seeking behavior. I'd rather be hated for who I am rather than be loved for who I'm not... and it feels good that there are some who love me for who I am in that regard.

I'm not the most popular guy no doubt, but for what it's worth, I deserve what I have, and that sits very well with me at night.
 

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Discussion Starter #10
I crave for attention yes, but I don't hunt for it in a wrong manner.

I just do my thing and be the best thing I can be without making any enemies. I agree with @The King Of Dreams that it's an age thing and maturity will slowly make it less and less important.

I know a group of people in uni who get a lot of attention, but not in the best way. They have some "gay dude" (I was close to using the F word given how much I hate this guy) that screams and sings poorly (so that everyone can hear his pitch going "off") in lectures and despite the attention, half the class hates them... well, until they get to know them personally of course...

Except the gay dude... I still hate his guts, and not cause he likes guys...

On the other hand, I try to get attention or "fame" by other means. My attention is often somewhat "given" to me. Lecturers call me out by name given the intellectual and intuitive arguments I give rather than just being an annoying dickhead. That is the kind of fame that does not require a loud voice.

And whatever negative opinions people have of me is out of fear of the unknown. Fear that I can easily make them look dumb by asking them questions I "know" they cannot answer, not cause I'm annoying or anything like that. When it comes to speaking to crowds, some girls sorta "hate" me not cause I present poorly or what not, but rather the way in which I present that allows me to get away with it.

I once said fuck in a formal presentation and got away with it given how good I was.

So going back to the question, yes, I love attention, but I rather it be given to me for a proper and valid reason rather than just pure extroversion or loud mouth attention seeking behavior. I'd rather be hated for who I am rather than be loved for who I'm not... and it feels good that there are some who love me for who I am in that regard.

I'm not the most popular guy no doubt, but for what it's worth, I deserve what I have, and that sits very well with me at night.
Hmm....I wonder if I'm like that...or if it's that charisma that makes professors like me in class. I try to not be outspoken, but at the same time, I don't like it when people are silent and don't want to participate. It wastes so much time, and I prefer getting things done than just sitting around and waiting for people to yell out the right answer. I never realized that I was an attention whore until someone in my class brought it up, and I never thought of it that I do things incredibly loud. I thought it was just my personality, but I guess I can control myself. I don't know if she's jealous that I get a lot of attention from everyone, and not because I want it, but that our personality allows us to get away with it. iono...I try to be more calm, but I still get a lot of attention from my professors...apparently we're incredibly easy to talk to, which is why we get so much attention. iono...but I don't really try to get the attention of my peers, but sometimes it just happens...this is really superficial, but I don't feel like I get enough attention on Facebook. It's like some of my friends have less friends than I do, but they get so many hits. Is there something wrong with me? I wonder if my status' are too thought provoking that people wouldn't understand them, or people think I go too deep and want to stay in the superficial. People are interesting....I always wonder if I don't spend enough quality time with people in my class....
 
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I crave for attention yes, but I don't hunt for it in a wrong manner.

I just do my thing and be the best thing I can be without making any enemies. I agree with @The King Of Dreams that it's an age thing and maturity will slowly make it less and less important.
It also shows that you like to share attention.... You humble guy, you!:wink:
 
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