Personality Cafe banner

1 - 12 of 12 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
6 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
I'm new to this page so the not yet fully understand how it works besides English is not my first language, so I apologize in advance for my bad writing. if you guys dont understand something let me know so i can try to explained myself better.

The point is over a year ago I met this girl and I liked almost instantly but never did anything since I live in Puerto Rico (Caribbean) and she lives in the United States (it is also Puerto Rican but has lived most of his life in the states), we met in a social network and always had a good friendship, I even felt she had an interest in me, but never aspire to anything more for the distance. We had a great connection, she told me that she never had such a great connection with someone before, I also felt that connection, she constantly tell me she find me very interesting, that she liked, she liked all of me, she never had such a great affinity with someone else and she missed me a lot. I know her feelings were genuine she even told me she never thoughts he would feel that way about me because I lived far away.

Going back, Few months (4-5 months) she started to contact me, then we started to have more direct communication (via telephone) she started giving me signals of stronger interest, based on that I asked her what kind of interest she had, she answered really want something serious, she want to meet in person if we were doing well she wanted to have a serious relationship with me, until we could solve the distance problem.
We begin to take it more seriously (emotionally) and I’ll move me to Orlando to get a master degree. We started talking about meet in person in the near future, in the last 2 weeks of our pseudo relationship she told me to go to Orlando for a few months where she has family I also have family there so we could finally meet, in Christmas she said she wanted me to be there with her, she told me she want me to hold her hand, hug her and that kind of stuff (cheesy stuff) she constantly send me pictures of his family and their activities and this gave me the impression that she really want me in her life. In those days told her that if she ever got tired of the situation I would understand because it is a very difficult situation, she told me that I should not think in that way to stay positive. Anyway in early January 2014 she cut communication completely, she didn’t answer phone calls or text messages, but still saw my activities in social networks. I asked her to tell me what was happening, to be honest and sincere with me that I would understand but she never talks me back.

I do not understand, why she is acting in this way I would like to know that you guys think of this situation, this situation really affected me because I'm intp. Also I find out we were a very good match because of the personality traits.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
222 Posts
she told me to go to Orlando for a few months where she has family I also have family there so we could finally meet
Did you do this, have you provided solid evidence, set a date, and put it in stone you're going to do this? If not, she told you directly what to do and you failed to show commitment. If she deemed you a bad investment, she may have written you off along with 2013 and moved on. She may just ignore you, because NFs avoid conflict.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,801 Posts
Did you do this, have you provided solid evidence, set a date, and put it in stone you're going to do this? If not, she told you directly what to do and you failed to show commitment. If she deemed you a bad investment, she may have written you off along with 2013 and moved on. She may just ignore you, because NFs avoid conflict.
Not to mention that she is quite a large body of water away from you.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6 Posts
Discussion Starter #5
Did you do this, have you provided solid evidence, set a date, and put it in stone you're going to do this? If not, she told you directly what to do and you failed to show commitment. If she deemed you a bad investment, she may have written you off along with 2013 and moved on. She may just ignore you, because NFs avoid conflict.[/QUOTE

she knows that i can go there because i was already in orlando (2 months ago) to see the university and areas where i can move to settle down (so she knows i am serious about that). also she told me she was gonna be there (orlando) about february to april, i tell her that was perfect because i could take vacations again by those months, and everything was "fine" the last text messege i recieve from her she said: "te extra~o tanto" wich means "i miss you a lot" that was like january 5

about the distance she actually knows because she lived here (in puerto rico) when she was a child.

about avoiding conflict i dont get it, because she was very clear when she said she like things straight and honest, both always show commitment, why she want me to stay positive 5 days before she disappear, i can take the fact that she cant do this anymore because im self conscious about the distance, but why just cut off comunication? just like that?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,053 Posts
I'm new to this page so the not yet fully understand how it works besides English is not my first language, so I apologize in advance for my bad writing. if you guys dont understand something let me know so i can try to explained myself better.

The point is over a year ago I met this girl and I liked almost instantly but never did anything since I live in Puerto Rico (Caribbean) and she lives in the United States (it is also Puerto Rican but has lived most of his life in the states), we met in a social network and always had a good friendship, I even felt she had an interest in me, but never aspire to anything more for the distance. We had a great connection, she told me that she never had such a great connection with someone before, I also felt that connection, she constantly tell me she find me very interesting, that she liked, she liked all of me, she never had such a great affinity with someone else and she missed me a lot. I know her feelings were genuine she even told me she never thoughts he would feel that way about me because I lived far away.

Going back, Few months (4-5 months) she started to contact me, then we started to have more direct communication (via telephone) she started giving me signals of stronger interest, based on that I asked her what kind of interest she had, she answered really want something serious, she want to meet in person if we were doing well she wanted to have a serious relationship with me, until we could solve the distance problem.
We begin to take it more seriously (emotionally) and I’ll move me to Orlando to get a master degree. We started talking about meet in person in the near future, in the last 2 weeks of our pseudo relationship she told me to go to Orlando for a few months where she has family I also have family there so we could finally meet, in Christmas she said she wanted me to be there with her, she told me she want me to hold her hand, hug her and that kind of stuff (cheesy stuff) she constantly send me pictures of his family and their activities and this gave me the impression that she really want me in her life. In those days told her that if she ever got tired of the situation I would understand because it is a very difficult situation, she told me that I should not think in that way to stay positive. Anyway in early January 2014 she cut communication completely, she didn’t answer phone calls or text messages, but still saw my activities in social networks. I asked her to tell me what was happening, to be honest and sincere with me that I would understand but she never talks me back.

I do not understand, why she is acting in this way I would like to know that you guys think of this situation, this situation really affected me because I'm intp. Also I find out we were a very good match because of the personality traits.
Way too many fish in the sea, avoid the mistakes of Ahab & find yourself a new fish.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
252 Posts
In my opinion:

- She was clearly expecting alot more of you.
- She ignores you because she thinks you are wasting her time now.
- But she is not lost. More likely the opposite. In my opinion she wants you to come to her now and apologize for something.. ENFJ's way of thinking about what happend, is that if you really wanted to see her, you could do it. You did not because of some logistics, which is bad in ENFJ's eyes, but reasonable in yours.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,801 Posts
but what i could did wrong!
It isn't exactly a black and white issue. Well, most relationship woes with ENFJs are quite grey. It's a matter of perspective, and it's really up to you.

Realistically I don't think it'll go anywhere, and me, looking out for your best interest that is the advice I can give you.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
222 Posts
Tell her you're booking the tickets to visit, and you need to know if X time on X date is good for her (make it very soon.) Say that you need to book the tickets now before the prices go up, and if she doesn't get back to you you'll assume she's busy at the moment and that she'll flex to meet you so you'll just go ahead and buy them. Action over words. She'll hopefully either message you back telling you to not buy tickets or will otherwise message you at least saying something.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6 Posts
Discussion Starter #11
i dont even want her back, dont misunderstood me i like her a lot more than any other woman i liked before i could see a future with her, but i dont think i can do it again, i feel way dissapionted and betrayed, i just want her to be honest with me and tell what happend. not sure if others intp think in this way but im not gonna be able to leave everyting behind and move on till i understand what happend, my brain never stops and im gonna stuck trying to figured out why everything turn into ashes.
 
1 - 12 of 12 Posts
Top