[BrightEyes]

Hi there my fellow enfj-ers!

I am fairly newish to all of this (last 6 months ish) and I trying to get better at understanding myself and my ENFJ potential pitfalls. Whilst I can easily identify with certain aspects, I am stuggling to find practical ways to either stop doing them or stop the pitfalls from having an impact on my general state. So I was pondering if any if you more wise ENFJ-ers might have any practical solutions to the following issues:

1. I find it hard not to be a perfectionist - whilst this can be an excellent quality I am finding it hard not to burn myself out and feel emotionally drained. However I dont want to loose my drive to excel but I want to learn not to push myself over emotional cliffs by accident!

2. I recognise that people are what make me tick - however there are times when I have to be on my own and this gets me really down and often for no reason. I want to be more self reliant and not so reliant on people but when I have no people around me I just feel deflated. I find this also makes me really needy to those around me who care about me.

If anyone has any solutions or ideas how to tackle these issues it would be greatly appreciated!

Thanks

 

[Happy about Nothing.]

Hi there my fellow enfj-ers!

I am fairly newish to all of this (last 6 months ish) and I trying to get better at understanding myself and my ENFJ potential pitfalls. Whilst I can easily identify with certain aspects, I am struggling to find practical ways to either stop doing them or stop the pitfalls from having an impact on my general state. So I was pondering if any if you more wise ENFJ-ers might have any practical solutions to the following issues:

1. I find it hard not to be a perfectionist - whilst this can be an excellent quality I am finding it hard not to burn myself out and feel emotionally drained. However I dont want to loose my drive to excel but I want to learn not to push myself over emotional cliffs by accident!

2. I recognise that people are what make me tick - however there are times when I have to be on my own and this gets me really down and often for no reason. I want to be more self reliant and not so reliant on people but when I have no people around me I just feel deflated. I find this also makes me really needy to those around me who care about me.

If anyone has any solutions or ideas how to tackle these issues it would be greatly appreciated!

Thanks

These are things I've dealt with very recently. Albeit I have other issues, I can say that there are a few things that may help. As for the perfectionism thing, it's easy to fall into burn-out if you aren't careful. Personally, it got so bad for me that I had to consciously rearrange my priorities, I had to focus on my emotional health, and consciously remind myself that that comes first in succeeding in other endeavors. Reaching out to others also helped me as well.

If you want to enjoy time spent alone, find something that you enjoy doing that you can only do alone. I enjoy art, photography, music, T.V. series, video games, etc. These are all things that are fairly solo activities that I enjoy. Sometimes I actually want to be by myself so I can indulge in these things. I have a love hate relationship with being alone, and being the type of person I am it is extremely important for me to find balance.

If you are an extroverted person, your primary energy source is probably people, so it's important that you stay involved in the social sphere as well. :]

 

[Malachi]

@Happy About Nothing I agree and @BrightEyes I'm in the same boat. Except I wish I would be more of my perfectionist self again because I have become to much of a procrastinator.

 

[KC]

I got one of them jumping on me right now at this very moment...

Damn ENTP trying to troll me at every corner...

Oh shit, is he behind me?

 

[Karim]

I am fascinated by this question in my own life. I want to pursue my own path but I am aware that doing that means I have to limit my interactions with people in my direct environment...then the loneliness gets unbearable. I feel like I need someone there...I'm sorry I don't have an answer but I wonder if someone has managed to do the whole strictly "independent" thing...

 

[Newagesceptic]

I am fascinated by this question in my own life. I want to pursue my own path but I am aware that doing that means I have to limit my interactions with people in my direct environment...then the loneliness gets unbearable. I feel like I need someone there...I'm sorry I don't have an answer but I wonder if someone has managed to do the whole strictly "independent" thing...

And ditto from me. That's why I've gotten into forums. There are only 4 extroverted types and of those, only 2 types tend to enjoy the type of deep conversation that ENFJs enjoy. I have found that a wider range of types are more emotionally accessible and proactive in a written medium - hence the attraction of forums. I'm hoping that this will help with those times when I feel like I'm the one always putting in and maybe find some people that have similar emotional interests.

Now if someone would just respond to this post.....

 

[See Above]

the type of deep conversation that ENFJs enjoy. .

In reference to the quote above, what constitutes a "deep conversation" that an ENFJ would most enjoy? Is it a 'share/exchange your innermost thoughts, hopes and fears' or 'life, the universe, past, present, future and everything' or 'what is wrong with society today' or maybe a mixture?

 

[REGHO]

what constitutes a "deep conversation" that an ENFJ would most enjoy?

For me mostly understanding myself and others better. Why do people do the things they do? What patterns are there? How do your beliefs what life should be differ from mine? How do different societies work (past and present)?

 

[BrightEyes]

For me a deep conversation would be about the person or myself. About something true and important to them. To learn better how they think and feel. Probably more about inner most thoughs, life etc. not the mundane stuff!

 

[oneplustoo]

Deep conversations to me are the ones that expose who we really are under the masks.