[ThirdArcade]

Question for the ENFJs or anyone else that some insight on this question: how do you like to interact at parties or in large group gatherings? how do you like to celebrate your birthday?

I prefer mixing between various different friends when I go out. I also like meeting new people, and would feel pretty confident talking to someone for the first time without having a mutual friend introduce us. I prefer talking to the quiet types that are off in the corner, or just hanging out in listening between conversations. If I find someone captivating I don't mind chatting with them for the majority of the night getting to know them as much as I can. I generally prefer more in depth conversation, then surface level 'niceties' ; but can manage to do both if required. I often find myself reviewing my conversations with people who I found interesting and profound. Especially do this the next day. I really like 'introverted' guys with high "F" or "P" and seem to gravitate to the "N" types; they freak me out though cause they tend to be sooooooooo smart!!

As for birthdays, I rather spend them with my family over a nicely prepared meal. I don't like fuss or to be the centre of attention (no way you won't see me wearing a crown on my birthday or dancing on tables!). If friends get together, I do much more spontaneously and don't plan anything special; just go and have some drinks. I rather not even bring up the fact it's my birthday, rather just have people come together. I sincerely appreciate well written cards or even a thoughtfully composed e-mail over a drunken night!

Thoughts?

 

[Jojo]

I tend to agree with both. At large events I usually pick out the lonely ones and try to make them feel involved and usually they end up being neatest people to talk to. Birthdays I could care less expect if I spend it with my "wolfpack".

 

[lastholidayhere]

I'm often the one planning parties. At parties I often make sure everyone is having a good time and that they feel comfortable and are having fun. I love to bring groups together and I'm not shy about organizing.

If I didn't plan the party, then I usually enjoy hanging with those I can have real intense intellectual conversations with. I enjoy crowds and meeting new people and making new connections. I don't like pretentious parties where people are standoffish and don't mingle much...I tend to leave those fairly quickly.

As for birthdays I hate admitting this, but its true, they are a big deal to me. Only because I give so much to everyone around me like most ENFJ's and its the one day of the year I feel like I can be a little bit selfish and say well this day is for me and I kinda need the love and attention in return. Under normal circumstances I hate to ask anything from anyone and I feel guilty asking for favors and help. So my birthday is the one day I feel like I can ask for the love and attention from others that I secretly crave but never ever ever ask for. Not sure if other ENFJ's feel that way. I enjoy a good birthday party and my birthday parties are always a good time, surrounded by those I love most, and they've often been double-parties with others who are having birthdays at the same time cause I like to double the fun.:laughing:

 

[ohrtsadok]

I do exactly what you said. At parties I go to the lone or shy ones first and then work my way up. I try to get to know everyone. My birthday is a time to hang out . It means something but it doesn't. lol.

 

[Kalifornia310]

parties, i like to make everyone feel invovled, i am usually the one to get the party started, and like many other enfjs, if i see someone not having a good time or sitting alone, ill go give them some attention,

as for birthdays, i have yet to celebrate my own birthday and im 24, it wasnt a priority in my life, plus having that much attention sucks, also, my birthday is december 26th. lamest day ever!

 

[Puddinboots]

Hmm, at parties we'll just tend to go with the flow, mingle, introduce ourselves, see what's going on, chit-chat with others and somehow we'll manage to find those who seem interesting and talk for the rest of the night. If the overall vibe seems awkward or if people don't seem to be receptive to our festive attempts, it certainly has an effect on our mood because it's a little hard to be fun when others don't appear interested. Fortunately, that hasn't happened often and we'll discover that it's usually the result of some other weirdness going on in the party, i.e. an argument, poor hosting/hostessing or just a dull mood in general.
As far as birthday's go it's usually me, my hubby and close friends, nothing super huge but it means a lot. Although I love celebrating my birthday, I'm more interested in spending it with those I love as opposed to inviting a ton of acquaintances that I may like but don't know that well. Regardless, I love to have a good time, being a ham and having good discussions followed by several rounds of whatever seems good to drink that night! :crazy:
Oh and Kalifornia, Dec 26th happens to be "Boxing Day", a holiday in Canada and the UK. Ok, so it's not Christmas but I just thought I'd let you know. :happy:
p.s, for those who haven't hear me mention this yet, my hubby is also an ENFJ so I guess that means double the pleasure, double the fun, kinda like Double Mint gum.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boxing_Day

 

[Puddinboots]

:laughing:

 

[Seeking Sanity]

Funny this topic came up my birthday was a week and a half ago :crazy:

This had to be the best one I have had in years just a relaxed BBQ at the house with my family and 3 of my closest friends. It wasn't fancy but we had a blast and it was what I wanted most. My friends birthday is a few days after mine and she had a big party at a local bar. I talked to everyone even if I didn't know who they where and yeah I went towards the shy ones since I can get shy myself and know how it feels. There was this older couple that came into the bar and were watching the craziness of my friends so I walked up to them and said hi. We also were doing karaoke that night so my husband and I both asked them if they wanted to hear something in particular, the gentleman wanted Beatles and the lady wanted Jefferson Airplane so we were happy to sing that for them.

The funny thing about that night was my friends that celebrated my birthday with me could not stop talking about tossing my skinny butt into the pool and the amount of air I got; everyone they told said "man I wish I could have seen her getting tossed she must have flew half way across the yard":laughing:

 

[summersoccer14]

For parties.. i like it when people are being active.. and PARTYING IT UP!!! I'm usually the one trying to start games.. or rocking out to music.. i try to talk to everyone.. and ya.. i usually try to talk to the quieter people that are sitting alone or something.. they just usually end up being funny smart awesome people! and if they judge you.. they usually don't or hahaha they are quiet about it. Oh.. i'm always trying the foods sometimes..XD also... i'm a big planner when it comes to parties.. so if i'm the hostest person i try to make sure everything is how it should be. everyone is having a good time, and at my parties, there isn't just one group of people, it's mult group of different kinds of people.. cause i love ALL people.

For Birthdays.. i try to make everyones birthday extremely special some how.. special gift.. something funny... surprise parties.. something that will make them remember that they turned that number! and i usually attack them with attention.. if htey have a party, i try to stay by their side the whole time.. at less.. i get distracted :crazy:
My last birthday i didn't expect anything at all.. but.. a HUGE group of 20 people i guess planned a surprise party for me.. so it went to lame birthday to an OMG birthday it was awesome.. i felt really loved..

 

[summersoccer14]

OH! And sometimes.. some people consider me awkward because i'm so bubbley. Does that happen with you?
I can just tell they are like... whoa.. haha!

 

[kiwigrl]

I love parties. I have thrown some pretty spectacular ones too. The last one was February 2009 and it was a double party (my birthday and a house warming for a friend, though most of the attendants were my friends). I liked it because it was a fancy dress thing and I like to see all of the people I like in the same room. I can have a chat with all of them which is delightful for me.

It depends on what mood I am in as to who I would talk to the most. If I am in a majorly extroverted, sanguine mood I will gravitate to the most extroverted/ wittiest people I can find. But if I am feeling more chilled out, I will enjoy a quiet one on one conversation with someone, provided that they don't go on and on and on about themselves, that bums me out and I look for an excuse to leave their company (like I did on Sat night).:frustrating:

Having said that I love parties, my mindset is more geared at the moment to small dinner parties of say 6-10 people. My next birthday I might do that. On the actual birthday I like to have a romantic dinner for two, especially if it falls during the week, or take the kids with us for dinner at our local Indian restaurant is another good option (mainly because my fussy kids will eat butter chicken).

Like lastholidayhere said, I am often the one who plans parties, my friends are either too lazy, too tight to spend some money or too unsure of themselves to do this. And also I agree that because other days of the year get swallowed up by other people taking from me I like to be the one lavished with attention on my birthday and made to feel special. I hope for it but I don't expect it.

 

[kiwigrl]

For parties.. i like it when people are being active.. and PARTYING IT UP!!! I'm usually the one trying to start games.. or rocking out to music.. i try to talk to everyone.. and ya.. i usually try to talk to the quieter people that are sitting alone or something.. they just usually end up being funny smart awesome people! and if they judge you.. they usually don't or hahaha they are quiet about it. Oh.. i'm always trying the foods sometimes..XD also... i'm a big planner when it comes to parties.. so if i'm the hostest person i try to make sure everything is how it should be. everyone is having a good time, and at my parties, there isn't just one group of people, it's mult group of different kinds of people.. cause i love ALL people.

For Birthdays.. i try to make everyones birthday extremely special some how.. special gift.. something funny... surprise parties.. something that will make them remember that they turned that number! and i usually attack them with attention.. if htey have a party, i try to stay by their side the whole time.. at less.. i get distracted :crazy:
My last birthday i didn't expect anything at all.. but.. a HUGE group of 20 people i guess planned a surprise party for me.. so it went to lame birthday to an OMG birthday it was awesome.. i felt really loved..

You sound alot like me at a party. I like to get people dancing or at least laughing. I hate a really boring, mundane party where there is no excitement. I try to work the room and talk to everyone too. In fact often when my husband and I go to a party, we go our separate ways for a while so we can each mingle with those who interest us. I like that he doesn't need to cling to me. And I also like to have a very mixed bag of people, the more diverse the better.


Wow, a surprise party.
The only one I ever had was when my sister in law decided to throw a baby shower for me when I was 8 months pregnant. My husband kept me out all morning and when I arrived home in time for what I thought would be a nice, well needed sleep, I had to deal with all these women in our house. I cried in the garage before putting on a smile and pretending I wasn't exhausted.

Hmmm, I like the idea of being surprised but maybe I prefer being the organiser. I'm the one who organises our parties down to the last detail, making sure that the food is impecable, the music is good etc. and I am the one who books everything for a trip overseas. My husband is hopeless, he would book everything at the last moment, and I can't relax until I know everything is sorted. I even type out my own itinerary to take. a-nal :dry:

 

[ThatGuitarGuy]

You sound alot like me at a party. I like to get people dancing or at least laughing. I hate a really boring, mundane party where there is no excitement. I try to work the room and talk to everyone too. In fact often when my husband and I go to a party, we go our separate ways for a while so we can each mingle with those who interest us. I like that he doesn't need to cling to me. And I also like to have a very mixed bag of people, the more diverse the better.


Wow, a surprise party.
The only one I ever had was when my sister in law decided to throw a baby shower for me when I was 8 months pregnant. My husband kept me out all morning and when I arrived home in time for what I thought would be a nice, well needed sleep, I had to deal with all these women in our house. I cried in the garage before putting on a smile and pretending I wasn't exhausted.

Hmmm, I like the idea of being surprised but maybe I prefer being the organiser. I'm the one who organises our parties down to the last detail, making sure that the food is impecable, the music is good etc. and I am the one who books everything for a trip overseas. My husband is hopeless, he would book everything at the last moment, and I can't relax until I know everything is sorted. I even type out my own itinerary to take. a-nal :dry:

I'm surprised he waits till the last minute. Maybe his J isn't as strong as yours? Just a thought! haha

I'm digging this thread. I have an ENFJ friend that has a birthday coming up in September, and I'd like to do something nice for her!

 

[smiley]

I am like a lot of you...
At big parties- I like to make sure everyone is having a good time... And I try to bring the introverts out of their shells and make sure that no one is bored or uncomfortable...
For my own birthday- I never organize a party for myself, because I feel uncomfortable doing that and being the center of attention in that way- but I love the gestures from my close friends and family and would probably feel pretty down if the birthday wasn't acknowledged by them... I like to go out with just my husband and maybe a few close friends for dinner and maybe a cheesy movie I've been wanting to see...

 

[Tongue Tied]

I am more mellow at parties and I don't pay too attention to my birthday.

 

[Quin Sabe]

Never really been to a true party.

As for birthdays I fall into typical outline. I don't expect much, and don't like drawing attention to myself over it. I just turned 20 yesterday and celebrated with a friend going rock climbing and some other Se activities. I was amazed at the comments on facebook wishing me a happy birthday, 26 in all. It was essentially everyone I've met the past year or two. It made realize just how much I'm connected. I don't mind attention or having party or fuss, but I want to be done almost to spite me by people who really care about me, not from any of my doing.

 

[Razvan]

Never really been to a true party.

As for birthdays I fall into typical outline. I don't expect much, and don't like drawing attention to myself over it. I just turned 20 yesterday and celebrated with a friend going rock climbing and some other Se activities. I was amazed at the comments on facebook wishing me a happy birthday, 26 in all. It was essentially everyone I've met the past year or two. It made realize just how much I'm connected. I don't mind attention or having party or fuss, but I want to be done almost to spite me by people who really care about me, not from any of my doing.

(Even if it says ENTP on your profile) basically, you'd liek surprise parties, if I am understanding corectly. Just make sure you don't go rock climbing and leave them waiting there.:laughing:

PS: My birthday is probably one of the only times I feel I can throw a big party and love it, I mean, I will be in the center of attention and I will rule, cause it's my birthday so I will have nothing to fear than.

 

[Quin Sabe]

(Even if it says ENTP on your profile) basically, you'd liek surprise parties, if I am understanding corectly. Just make sure you don't go rock climbing and leave them waiting there.:laughing:

Yeah, I'm just taking look at what my type may be other than entp, and enfj is a decent hit. I'm beginning to think is just well developed Fe providing the connection.