I say no to manipulation!
Okay... both ENFJs and INFJs are capable of extensive manipulation. I will be gently manipulative in protecting others or doing "good". But my Ni is like a "Safety" that has to be passed before I act.
Do ENFJs have a similar safety... or do they just lead with their Fe? Because I've seen ENFJs manipulate for less than noble causes more than a few times to damage... or to get revenge.
Btmangan,
This is an interesting topic, is there a story behind this inquiry you have here about ENFJs? I have an ENFJ male friend, he is quite nice. Perhaps ENFJ ladies act different from the males, but I will discuss my example here. I find him and I share a 'pure heart' type of personality. I cannot see him, being manipulative, or I, unnecessarily, although we likely have the capacity to do so. I find if I am in a situation where I can, even if it would benefit me, I would stop myself from acting that way. With him, he is into Ethical behavior, and would not waste too much time, manipulating.
He demands the same level of honesty from others, that he himself upholds, however, when it comes to his passions being aroused, like maybe in a love situation, or to protect others, I could see him acting quite differently. Quite honestly, I would not want to see his bad side! He would likely intense as an opponent, he would be a fierce protector.
For me, I can't imagine I could do much harm. My sister is ISTJ, apparently they are the manipulation pros, she is seamless, I have to do a double-take to ensure I am not being a part of her latest manipulation scheme to get her way, and benefit herself! I have been disappointed a lot in dealing with her. But it is good learning. And in the end, I don't want to be like her, although she can push people around to get her way easily. The funniest thing happened to her (karma). Her ex turned out to be ISTJ, and she couldn't stand him, or his behavior, they fought constantly, because he was doing to her what she does to others! He 'one-up'ed' her, always. How crazy is that? No coincidences it seems, in learning here on earth.
For me, I have to watch being around manipulators, I have the flaw of assuming that everyone has 'pure heart' ways of thinking, and acting, like I do, this got me into a lot of trouble growing up. But now I am learning to get 'out of my head' and into reality more. Learning about deceit, and manipulation, is going to be essential for me. Not to behave in that way, but to avoid being taken advantage by such behavior.
I think that type of behavior is not nice. I know it is uncool to say, because I think manipulators feel very powerful and stuff, and can get lots of attention from others, but I still keep my position in this issue. I'd rather be around people, that want to be around me, not because i have manipulated situations to be a certain way.
Btmangan, what kind of situation are you experiencing with the ENFJ?