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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
It was a two-year relationship.
I ended the relationship months ago but he remains obsessed (he changed the mobile number and contacted me, he did it also via email, it's creepy). I’m so glad I got away.

How did it start?
It was thanks to one of his friends. This friend talked well about me after I gave him some help and so my ex contacted me.

We wrote a lot and it was good. He was so talkative and interesting (because of his travels and, it seemed, his nice moral values and studies...I thought he was open minded, but he wasn't at all, because his ego was so strong). I was charmed in chat by his strong self.

He was in Rome, I'm in the north. In a rush he desired to see me and went here, even if I had many doubts (I shared them with him but he didn't listen, he was so confident).

He was kind and calm when we met, but after the first kiss (I did it) he became so rude and asked for sex. I rejected sex, but not his approach, because at the time I no longer believed in love, I thought that in human relationships there was no such thing as what I wanted and saw in my dreams, relationships could only be superficial, a candle that is destined to be consumed, I've thought so.
So we started it thinking it was a fleeting adventure, something so new, so different and hard (for distance and money). It was adrenaline so we liked it.

But then, after we had sex some time later, he changed and became more serious. It was because he said he really liked it and loved me cuddling him and helping when he was sick. Other girls had never done anything like this with him.

Day by day he became more and more childish wanting all my attention for all the day and getting angry when he had to wait for me. We used to fight a lot but then apparently we solved.

I must say, however, that he has matured, because he tried not to exceed with his personality, he tried to give me time and space, but it was really hard because he was jealous and possessive. I felt suffocated even when he tried, I felt anxiety. I broke up for this reason.

I liked our adventures (we travelled a lot and we have experienced a lot in sex), I admired his routineness (however it was too restrictive for me) but he was too "electric" (nervous and fast) and too fixated on little things. I felt him too aggressive.

What does "aggressive" mean in my view? Here some examples.

1) One day we had a fight because I said that I desired more space, I didn't want to talk with him that day (I was tired and had nothing new to say), I was calm, but he answered me with: "In these days I always search something to say to you, but when we talk you can only say "I love you, I miss you, I care of you,..." you're not even listening to me and it sucks". It hurt me and so I stopped answering and he became more pushy (I need time, but he couldn't give me any when we fought).

I've thought about it and some days later I wanted to share one of my interests (chromotherapy) to promote the communication between us, but he said: "I don't care" and he started to talk about something else. This hurt me. I've always said what was bad for me, but quarrels were repeated with a weekly/monthly frequency.

2) we were with his grandma, playing with cards, I've talked with her and she was so apprehensive and sweet, I liked her.
He was aggressive while playing with her because she was slow. I said to stop, but he didn't so I got away in our bedroom. He was so angry because "You made me look bad with my family" and even when I said what made me upset, he was only thinking about how he was seen by others.

3) he was so jealous and possessive. He chose what to watch on TV, but I was bored with those programs and so I chatted with my friends. He didn’t like cuddling when we were on the couch, he often told me to move away, so I was keeping a distance while chatting. He noticed I was writing and started asking me who I was talking to, why and kept trying to spy.
One night before going to bed I took a shower, my phone was in the room. When I came back I found out that he had deleted some of my conversations and had viewed some messages. I asked him about it and he initially lied to me. It was too much for me, I hate liars.

You’ll think, "Why stay with him for two years then?": in his way he really loved me, he was fond of me and tried to support me. He had become a little more mature, we grew up together through the relationship, but there were barriers that would never be crossed between us.

At the beginning sex was good, he was passionate, but when it became a stable relationship, he had made sex a dry routine from my point of view. I stopped being enchanted and realized that he took more than give, I wanted to receive too, but he didn't want because it was not in his nature. I don’t like people who stick to restrictive beliefs in relationships.

So guys, I wanted to share my experience, I'm here if you want to ask something about it 😉
 
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