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I take a similar approach to Kalifornia. I adjust my expectations. But honestly- when it takes me off-guard and hurts my feelings I tend to act a little coolly towards that person until I feel better. Basically- if someone flakes on me it makes me feel taken for granted and like they don't appreciate me and that makes me feel vulnerable. So to feel strong again, I withdraw affection- kind of a defense mechanism I guess. It's not great- it's just me. I'm not a bitch to them or anything- I just pull into my shell a little bit. Then I go and regroup and adjust my expectations and my own output so I don't feel like I am carrying the friendship...
I couldn't agree with you more since that's exactly what I do. In fact, I'm doing that right now to a friend since I get tired of "carrying the friendship", so I'll readjust my perception and learn to expect what I consider flakiness from them in the future so as to avoid feeling hurt. Unfortunately, it's very annoying when people can't return a simple e-mail or favor, I don't ask for the world on a platter but it dumbfounds me when some people can't reciprocate even the simplest of tasks. *sigh* I think some people lack social etiquette or manners nowadays; that's something I'm a stickler for even though I'm an open minded person.
 
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