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Discussion Starter #1
Is it common for ENFJ's to analyse the crap out of everything and to sate the negatives they see in stuff. Because I do it a lot...I think I do it in more of I'm just vocalizing something I see that should be changed but it just comes off as me being negative. I had a friend say I was negative and it annoyed them. I know I used to be very negative as a kid like horribly negative but I thought for the most part I was past that. But my friends comment makes me feel like maybe I have improved as much as much as I thought. And I over think everything and they said that also annoys them. I over analyse so much it's sad. Any suggestions on how to stop? And is this uncommon behavior for ENFJ's?
 

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We have good reason to analyse alot cause if we only focus on our two other functions (Fe and Se) Guess what will happen? We would feel into traps. Be abused, taken for granted way to easily.

So we always Ni and Ti to back us up and make sure we do not fall into traps - cause Se just gets excited about stuff and Fe will just feel how other people are feeling..
 

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MOTM August 2012
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ENFJs have inferior Thinking, which means like all inferior functions they have a tendency to be consumed by thinking (especially negative thinking). It's not so much an overanalysis so much as often not properly thinking things through or only thinking in black and white absolutes or all-or-nothing platitudes. This is because of the over reliance on Feeling evaluations "yea but what do I think?" gets downplayed immensely. So you often get Fe-doms who either read too much information when they get in a rut and then can't properly categorize it or process it (we've all met people who seemingly have too many ideas that don't make much sense or are incoherent) or they never read at all and rely on Feelings, or the opinions of other people to guide them. Thus the Inferior Thinking of an Extraverted Feeling type is always hot and cold. Sometimes on, sometimes way off the mark (like all inferior functions).

At its worst Inferior Thinking is described by von Franz as being akin to that of a dog, who when told "don't pee on the floor," can't discern whether or not you mean the floor of the house or all floors. That's extreme but you do meet people who seem to think in such superficial platitudes, but I think for most Extraverted Feeling types these kinds of episodes of intellectual incoherence are few and far between. In my experience, both as a Feeling preference and just from observation, it tends to evoke more as over-analysis, platitudes, off-the-wall remarks, downplay of intellectual ability (they might say "I dunno let the smart people handle that," or "I can't think about this, this is too much!"), sometimes antipathy toward Thinking types (seeing them as cold or impersonal, etc.) and so forth. Again with Inferior Thinking its not your intellectual abilities that are being questioned, but rather how you approach thinking.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
ENFJs have inferior Thinking, which means like all inferior functions they have a tendency to be consumed by thinking (especially negative thinking). It's not so much an overanalysis so much as often not properly thinking things through or only thinking in black and white absolutes or all-or-nothing platitudes. This is because of the over reliance on Feeling evaluations "yea but what do I think?" gets downplayed immensely. So you often get Fe-doms who either read too much information when they get in a rut and then can't properly categorize it or process it (we've all met people who seemingly have too many ideas that don't make much sense or are incoherent) or they never read at all and rely on Feelings, or the opinions of other people to guide them. Thus the Inferior Thinking of an Extraverted Feeling type is always hot and cold. Sometimes on, sometimes way off the mark (like all inferior functions).

At its worst Inferior Thinking is described by von Franz as being akin to that of a dog, who when told "don't pee on the floor," can't discern whether or not you mean the floor of the house or all floors. That's extreme but you do meet people who seem to think in such superficial platitudes, but I think for most Extraverted Feeling types these kinds of episodes of intellectual incoherence are few and far between. In my experience, both as a Feeling preference and just from observation, it tends to evoke more as over-analysis, platitudes, off-the-wall remarks, downplay of intellectual ability (they might say "I dunno let the smart people handle that," or "I can't think about this, this is too much!"), sometimes antipathy toward Thinking types (seeing them as cold or impersonal, etc.) and so forth. Again with Inferior Thinking its not your intellectual abilities that are being questioned, but rather how you approach thinking.
Interesting take on it. And I notice my big thing is I try to make a deep meaning out of everything. Or I try to find some meaning under the surface which may not be there. And over analyse of simple comments. or things.
 

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Interesting take on it. And I notice my big thing is I try to make a deep meaning out of everything. Or I try to find some meaning under the surface which may not be there. And over analyse of simple comments. or things.
You know it sort of depends on how you define 'meaning.' Because if you're talking about significance or importance of something that might just be Feeling (Feeling is the function that evaluates). If its some spiritual or mystical meaning or inference that might be Intuition. If the meaning is conceptual that could be Thinking. You get what I'm saying. What a lot of people label as intuition might really just be thinking or feeling. Intuition at its heart is just having a sixth-sense or gut-feeling or instinct about something (often that you can't really quantify in words - it's just sort of knowing without knowing or seeing without seeing). Intuitions are called "Eureka!" or "ah ha!" moments (especially in the introverted form) precisely because they so often come in flashes, which is why the rest of the time Introverted Intuitives are heavily Sensation oriented, even if their ability to successfully integrate Se is limited.

To me what you describe sounds a lot like over-Thinking, or over-evaluating. Which is sort of different than just kind of knowing what's going on. It's tough because in real life the instances are a bit nebulous (which is why its sometimes hard to tell ENFJs from INFJs - much moreso than telling INFPs from ENFPs which is a more obvious distinction). I, myself, as an INFJ always find myself reading into a situation because as an Intuitive I'm predisposed to never take things at face value (thus my inferior Se), but the actual analysis of that situation is performed by my Thinking and Feeling (and because my Thinking is less-favored in the tertiary position, I will tend to favor Feeling as my general form of judging something and downplay my own Thinking). Perception, Intuition and Sensation on the other hand, just perceives.
 

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Discussion Starter #8
You know it sort of depends on how you define 'meaning.' Because if you're talking about significance or importance of something that might just be Feeling (Feeling is the function that evaluates). If its some spiritual or mystical meaning or inference that might be Intuition. If the meaning is conceptual that could be Thinking. You get what I'm saying. What a lot of people label as intuition might really just be thinking or feeling. Intuition at its heart is just having a sixth-sense or gut-feeling or instinct about something (often that you can't really quantify in words - it's just sort of knowing without knowing or seeing without seeing). Intuitions are called "Eureka!" or "ah ha!" moments (especially in the introverted form) precisely because they so often come in flashes, which is why the rest of the time Introverted Intuitives are heavily Sensation oriented, even if their ability to successfully integrate Se is limited.

To me what you describe sounds a lot like over-Thinking, or over-evaluating. Which is sort of different than just kind of knowing what's going on. It's tough because in real life the instances are a bit nebulous (which is why its sometimes hard to tell ENFJs from INFJs - much moreso than telling INFPs from ENFPs which is a more obvious distinction). I, myself, as an INFJ always find myself reading into a situation because as an Intuitive I'm predisposed to never take things at face value (thus my inferior Se), but the actual analysis of that situation is performed by my Thinking and Feeling (and because my Thinking is less-favored in the tertiary position, I will tend to favor Feeling as my general form of judging something and downplay my own Thinking). Perception, Intuition and Sensation on the other hand, just perceives.
That makes sense. A lot actually thank you this helps. It's just kinda how my mind works. My thing is I need to learn how to control my tongue so I don't state all my opinions out there,
 

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Any suggestions on how to stop?
The way you explain it, it sounds like you let your idealism take over. Even though I'm INFJ, I used to do that a lot too, myself; people usually would take a negative slant on it because it's focusing on the way things aren't rather than the way things are. I get caught up from time to time doing that kind of thing at work, because there's a whole lot to be improved there. I guess sometimes I just have to remind myself that things are the way they are and stating the way things should be doesn't really improve anything. I read somewhere that because ENFJs have inferior Ti, they develop Ti later in life and when they do, it tempers their idealism with more realistic thinking and that it usually takes the ENFJ aback a little because when they start using Ti they feel like they're being apathetic, giving up on their ideals, when they're really just learning to be realistic.

And is this uncommon behavior for ENFJ's?
I only know one ENFJ; I find I does this kind of thing but, instead of directing it toward how things should be, he directs it toward himself. He'll talk about how he thinks he did a horrible job on something because it didn't live up to the impossibly high standards he sets for himself. I can only imagine some of the things he thinks about when he can't get to sleep at night. I find he looks for ways to blame himself for things he had no control over too sometimes. I had never encountered anyone before him that was so visibly hard on themselves.
 

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I tend to see every possible angle of a situation, and I feel sometimes duty bound to bring this up. So if I talk with somebody positive I will tend to see (and mention) the more negative items and with somebody negative I concentrate on the positive stuff. Might be part of the N "big picture" trait.
 

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Oh god I just googled 'overthinking enfjs' and a hell of a lot of threads came up to support my enfj brain in overdrive - It is mostly due to relationships and conspiracy theories though..
 

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I can relate to your post a lot! I'm so good at over-analyzing (which helps for my job working in analysis!) but not so good when it comes to personal issues. Right now I've been beating myself up over a crush I have on a person who lives on the other side of the country, telling myself that he's not interested and I shouldn't have any hopes to see him again/hear from him/etc. I don't know why I feel so negative, considering he's always responded to texts/emails, seems positive, and has even invited me to visit! We have kept in touch but I have trouble managing expectations and I'd love any advice fellow ENFJs might have about being realistic and balanced in our thoughts--not just in relationships and dating, but in general. I find I swing to one of two extremes: extremely hopeful (and on these days, nothing can get me down!) or incredibly pessimistic (nothing seems to be going right :/ )

I've been following ENFJ posts for some time but this is the first time I've signed up for an account and written something! Can't wait to get more involved in the forums :)
 

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I can relate to your post a lot! I'm so good at over-analyzing (which helps for my job working in analysis!) but not so good when it comes to personal issues. Right now I've been beating myself up over a crush I have on a person who lives on the other side of the country, telling myself that he's not interested and I shouldn't have any hopes to see him again/hear from him/etc. I don't know why I feel so negative, considering he's always responded to texts/emails, seems positive, and has even invited me to visit! We have kept in touch but I have trouble managing expectations and I'd love any advice fellow ENFJs might have about being realistic and balanced in our thoughts--not just in relationships and dating, but in general. I find I swing to one of two extremes: extremely hopeful (and on these days, nothing can get me down!) or incredibly pessimistic (nothing seems to be going right :/ )

I've been following ENFJ posts for some time but this is the first time I've signed up for an account and written something! Can't wait to get more involved in the forums :)
Oh I can relate to this!
Im basically seeing someone at the moment (early days) but have done my own head in with the whole overthinking thing.
Basically how I have managed everything (although still tend to slip back into my overthinking ways) is I try to separate myself as much as possible from him and continue to live my life.. I try to think that we are only dating...and arent exclusive, so he doesnt owe me anything and nor do I. I also know that I was fine before he came into my life and that I should continue to focus on me.. So I decided I would jump in the deep end and sing with a band and just try to pre-occupy myself so I dont focus on him!
I think alot of this overthinking business mostly comes down to our own insecurities - ie: fear of rejection, not being good enough etc..And even though I am very confident..he just seems to be the only one that shakes my confidence ..and even on our 5th date I still couldn't pull myself together and just be ME! He seems to be fine though, but he still hasnt seen the real confident bubbly me because Ive been a NERVOUS FUMBLING WRECK everytime I see him! I dont even have an excuse, he was the one who had to teach himself social skills because he grew up with socail anxiety!
And so I realised I still have alot of stuff internally to deal with (I didnt even realise until I started dating again) and I am looking into seeing a psychologist to talk about it, even though my issues may be ridiculously small, but I still want to talk to someone about them. :dry:
Maybe it may not hurt if you just try to busy yourself with a new interest, think about what you have always wanted to do, and also look deep into yourself and honestly try to see if you have rejection issues etc that you may be dealing with.
 

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Nothing wrong with talking to someone about this stuff. I've seen a therapist before about anxiety issues and it's done me wonders (although you got to find the right person for you!) I love your advice and I have been trying to be better about turning the focus back on me. Again, a typical ENFJ move is to place all focus on others around you and their feelings, when in reality we need to be better at turning our attention to our own needs. My last relationship I was doing anything and everything I could to save it (in the end, it didn't matter since he didn't invest much) but it was an important lesson to learn that you've got to keep developing your own self. I've got all sorts of good stuff set up for this month just for me: surfing, a few concerts, finishing grad school, skydiving, and a mud run! :tongue:
 

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@Malachi I do this all the time. I was just thinking yesterday how annoying it is that I over-analyse everything, but it is something that I can't seem to switch off. I guess sometimes it is handy but other times it just serves to make me stressed and worried imagining all sorts of scenarios when they're not really happening. Nice to know I am not alone in this. I love how us ENFJs can come on here and sympathise with each other.
 

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And is this uncommon behavior for ENFJ's?
I only know one ENFJ; I find I does this kind of thing but, instead of directing it toward how things should be, he directs it toward himself. He'll talk about how he thinks he did a horrible job on something because it didn't live up to the impossibly high standards he sets for himself. I can only imagine some of the things he thinks about when he can't get to sleep at night. I find he looks for ways to blame himself for things he had no control over too sometimes. I had never encountered anyone before him that was so visibly hard on themselves.
This I can relate to. I am always too critical and hard on myself, and set impossibly high standards.
 
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