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Discussion Starter #1
Do ENFJ girls usually like going to bars and clubs? If you do, what is the best way to approach you? If you don't, where is the best place to meet you?
 

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I only went to bars & clubs to dance and hang out with my friends. It was never a great place to meet a SO. Too sleazy, you basically only get a one night stand from meeting people at bars.
I preferred to meet guys through friends and acquaintances. I met my husband at church through a friend.
Anyway if you are at a bar then search the dance floor. ...or occasionally you'll see a couple of friends meet for a chat at a bar, so I guess you will see us talking at a table which has laughter spilling out of it. Other than that, my ExFx friends & I frequent cafes and the shopping malls.


I dont know, perhaps a single ENFJ will reply and be more helpful since they'll still be in the dating game.
 

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Meh, I go to bars and clubs... alllllll the time. I'm tagging along with my friends. I'm NOT there to meet girls. There's just a different class of females that go to bars and clubs... and different class of males. I don't think any ENFJ would be particularly interested in meeting a "significant other" at bars or clubs. Male or female.

I just tag along with all my friends. Wherever they wanna go I'm down.
 

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OK I'm INFP, but are you kidding me? I don't think I've ever met an ENFJ that didn't go out to bars and or clubs. In their defense though, they are usually one of the more approachable types. They tend to have lots of people around them, and are often at the center of their groups.

It can be daunting, but the times I've met female ENFJs at bars, only once did I approach one and start the conversation. She had just been on stage to sing "ice ice baby" and then sat down with one of the bartenders. She was very friendly.

Every other time they talked to me first. INFPs are easy prey for them. I imagine ISFPs are too.
 

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Discussion Starter #5
The search the dancefloor tip is very helpful and going to cafes. I would prefer cafes over bars and clubs since you can actually talk to people. By now I'm so used to always making the first move, always initiating the conversation and approaching the girl, since very rarely, and I mean VERY rarely a girl will make the first move, and I'm ok with that. But the problem is that, in my opinion, for it to work I have to put up this outgoing persona, which makes me look NOT like an ISFP. DOes that make sense? I feel that I have a hard time attracting a good match for me, I tend to attract more introverted types sometimes. I guess that solution is to stop going to bars and find somewhere to go haha. Thanks for the input guys, very helpful!
 

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Bars would be okay to meet people, but not AT the bar... and that makes no sense! =P

Basically, meeting someone at the bar is fine, but don't put "the moves" on in the bar... because thats just sleazy, weird and you're gonna send the girl running! What you do is you use the conversation at the bar to get her phone number/e-mail address so that you can keep talking and arrange to meet up later at someplace more relaxed and quiet where you can really be you!

I tend to meet up with possible love interests at book shops! You can learn a lot about each other by seeing what types of book the two of you are interested in reading... plus its really informal and relaxed =)

HOPE THAT HELPS DUDE!
 

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Discussion Starter #7
Bars would be okay to meet people, but not AT the bar... and that makes no sense! =P

Basically, meeting someone at the bar is fine, but don't put "the moves" on in the bar... because thats just sleazy, weird and you're gonna send the girl running! What you do is you use the conversation at the bar to get her phone number/e-mail address so that you can keep talking and arrange to meet up later at someplace more relaxed and quiet where you can really be you!

I tend to meet up with possible love interests at book shops! You can learn a lot about each other by seeing what types of book the two of you are interested in reading... plus its really informal and relaxed =)

HOPE THAT HELPS DUDE!
Thanks! The book shop is a good idea
 

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OK I'm INFP, but are you kidding me? I don't think I've ever met an ENFJ that didn't go out to bars and or clubs. In their defense though, they are usually one of the more approachable types. They tend to have lots of people around them, and are often at the center of their groups.

It can be daunting, but the times I've met female ENFJs at bars, only once did I approach one and start the conversation. She had just been on stage to sing "ice ice baby" and then sat down with one of the bartenders. She was very friendly.

Every other time they talked to me first. INFPs are easy prey for them. I imagine ISFPs are too.

Ahh...yes! The good ole days, when I would troll the bars for tender, young INFP's!!!

Singing "Ice, Ice, Baby", was a favorite technique of mine....

Rare is the man who can resist a damn good rendition of "Ice, Ice, Baby"
 

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We are also abundant at your local Home Depot store...we are crafty, very, very, crafty (tee hee)
I WORK AT THE BRITTISH EQUIVALENT OF HOME DEPOT!!! XD XD XD

And if anyone ever came into my work singing "Ice Ice baby"... I'd be naked before they even had time to stop! Nevermind Collaborate or listen! =D
 
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Basically, meeting someone at the bar is fine, but don't put "the moves" on in the bar... because thats just sleazy, weird and you're gonna send the girl running! What you do is you use the conversation at the bar to get her phone number/e-mail address so that you can keep talking and arrange to meet up later at someplace more relaxed and quiet where you can really be you!
I totally agree with this. The kind of people that go to the bar....well, I go to the bar, and I can occasionally be a decent human being. ;] There are definitely cool people out at clubs and stuff, but it's definitely not classy to make the moves when you're shwasted. It's not the ideal "how we first met" story, but if you meet someone great at a bar I don't think you should write it off right away!
 
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I'm having a great laugh at your posts. I love the ENFJ forum. :wink:
 

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How is this possible?
Obviously it is your choice as to whether or not you partake, but I'm just saying you aren't likely to meet your future soul mate there. ...due to the shallow, superficial, lust-filled enviroment, which is why I went there primarily to dance and hang out with my girlfriends.
 

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I never been to one but i suppose i'd enjoy it if i had some people to go with, my friends are introverts who "can't dance".
 

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This thread is awesome, and I'm loving all of the responses! While i'm reading the responses i'm picturing david attenborough narrating the "life of ENFJs" lol. "the ENFJ females are evasive creatures in more ways than one. Social animals as they are, she takes on the art of camouflage in dangerous settings to avoid her predator. But is this to her detriment? Where can her mate find her? Let's find out..."

Anyway, haha so yeah. I think the responses are all accurate... and definitely give good advice on meeting people in general. I can only speak for myself, but I'm all about the local bar scene (I love good beer). However, I don't go to meet guys or have random guys pick up on me. If I'm there on a weekday, it's to grab a drink during happy hour to unwind... if it's on a weekend, i'm most likely out with all of my friends. To be honest with you, meeting guys in both circumstances is the last thing on my mind (and I'm single).

I can also safely say that in the last few years of frequenting bars in my town, I've NEVER dated anyone that I've met at the bar scene. But i HAVE met a lot of great souls, had countless number of amazing conversations with seemingly perfect strangers, and ended up making some great friends from it.

So with that said, I think ENFJ's find more value in establishing non-superficial relationships when it comes to a romantic one. The guys I end up with have always either started out as a friend, been a friend of a friend, or an acquaintance that sparked my interest down the line for some reason or another. Where I've met them in the past have been in classes at University, organizations that I've been involved in, social gatherings with friends, and anywhere else that I was able to meet/see them more than just once.

Good luck in your search! =)
 

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This thread is awesome, and I'm loving all of the responses! While i'm reading the responses i'm picturing david attenborough narrating the "life of ENFJs" lol. "the ENFJ females are evasive creatures in more ways than one. Social animals as they are, she takes on the art of camouflage in dangerous settings to avoid her predator. But is this to her detriment? Where can her mate find her? Let's find out..."

Anyway, haha so yeah. I think the responses are all accurate... and definitely give good advice on meeting people in general. I can only speak for myself, but I'm all about the local bar scene (I love good beer). However, I don't go to meet guys or have random guys pick up on me. If I'm there on a weekday, it's to grab a drink during happy hour to unwind... if it's on a weekend, i'm most likely out with all of my friends. To be honest with you, meeting guys in both circumstances is the last thing on my mind (and I'm single).

I can also safely say that in the last few years of frequenting bars in my town, I've NEVER dated anyone that I've met at the bar scene. But i HAVE met a lot of great souls, had countless number of amazing conversations with seemingly perfect strangers, and ended up making some great friends from it.

So with that said, I think ENFJ's find more value in establishing non-superficial relationships when it comes to a romantic one. The guys I end up with have always either started out as a friend, been a friend of a friend, or an acquaintance that sparked my interest down the line for some reason or another. Where I've met them in the past have been in classes at University, organizations that I've been involved in, social gatherings with friends, and anywhere else that I was able to meet/see them more than just once.

Good luck in your search! =)
But are you opposed to dating someone you'd meet at a bar? What if just so happens that you meet someone great? You wouldn't give him/her a chance?
 

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But are you opposed to dating someone you'd meet at a bar? What if just so happens that you meet someone great? You wouldn't give him/her a chance?
I always attempt to keep an open mind and open heart in every situation that I find myself in. So to answer your question -- no I'm definitely not opposed per se, so if Mr. Right happens to come along in an opportune bar scenario that would be awesome. It just hasn't happened yet.... and I'm not holding my breath in the meantime.

I'm also a creature of habit, so I'll frequent the same bars on the reg if I'm going by myself. I tend to only boldly try new places with friends in tow. So maybe a good idea would be to stick to a bar and a coffee shop that you love, and spend an hour every other day or so at those places. Who knows, if you're patient enough you might end up spotting that ever elusive ENFJ... ;)
 
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