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Hi Everybody,

So I just became interested in this, and I think I'm an ENFJ. Reading up on my type I found a few things that really resonated with me:

"Their problems are usually due to their Extraverted Feeling function being so dominant that they are so strongly bound to what they see as objective values, that they cannot relate to the world except via the objects of their feeling."

Also a bit about "idealizing relationships" beyond any realistic expectation. Man, I do that WAY too much...

What do you all think, is this stuff that ENFJ's typically do?
 

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I do take things personally if they are intended to be personal. However, I am forgiving. I move on quickly BUT........ if someone hits me with accusations or blame I do pull out the list. I do keep a list of all money that is owed, boundary oversteppings, and wrong doings. Conversely, I also keep track of all good things, anniversaries, dates, locations, and significant memories of people.
 

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Hell yes! I can beat myself up about something for ages. But only if it was intended to be personal, otherwise I can just brush things off. I'm not one to read something into a situation that's not there. My best friend is an INFJ and she will often think that someone's surly 'good morning' means that she's done something to piss them off, whereas I just think 'wow, they didn't get enough sleep last night'.
 

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I do, but I also usually try to see it from the other person's perspective and end up realizing I was just getting worked up over nothing (as usual). If it's about what people do to me that I take personally, I just try and observe how they behave with other people to see if it's a pattern or something they do to me exclusively. I'll admit this is one of my biggest flaws... overthinking. But at the same time, it shows that I care enough for it to affect me, and I don't wanna stop caring.

The best thing to do is talk about it, actually ask people if you should take it personally or not. If they don't tell you the truth, well.. they're not really worth you taking anything they say seriously!
 

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It's a pretty bad trait of mine. No matter what I might be arguing about, writing about, or having a conversation about.. I tend to almost always get emotionally and personally invested. When people don't use my ideas or they attack them (and by attack I mean simply suggest otherwise), I do take it to heart. :/ I think it's healthy to a certain level to invest yourself somewhat, but, I don't think that I'm at a healthy level. I take things too personally.
 

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It's a pretty bad trait of mine. No matter what I might be arguing about, writing about, or having a conversation about.. I tend to almost always get emotionally and personally invested. When people don't use my ideas or they attack them (and by attack I mean simply suggest otherwise), I do take it to heart. :/ I think it's healthy to a certain level to invest yourself somewhat, but, I don't think that I'm at a healthy level. I take things too personally.
Oh my goodness ditto to the Nth degree. Could not have said it better myself.
 

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Hmmmm big resounding YES... and now that I am in a loving, adult relationship, I am learning to just **go with it**... as far as hearing... I need to ask you something. or Can I tell you something? these types of sentences would set alarm bells from my ex... and now I am learning to not jump to conclusions and try to *invent* a problem. I am getting better and he is helping me tremendously. Don't forget.. I lived with a very narcissistic man who made me second guess every single word that came out of my mouth for YEARS!... I am getting better... thank GOD he could not destroy me... I think we ENFP's are the strongest signs... to be able to overcome much adversity!

lots of posts these days are hitting close to home... the high sexual drive is another one... damn... OVERDRIVE is the word that describes me! lol
 

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Hi Everybody,

So I just became interested in this, and I think I'm an ENFJ. Reading up on my type I found a few things that really resonated with me:

"Their problems are usually due to their Extraverted Feeling function being so dominant that they are so strongly bound to what they see as objective values, that they cannot relate to the world except via the objects of their feeling."

Also a bit about "idealizing relationships" beyond any realistic expectation. Man, I do that WAY too much...

What do you all think, is this stuff that ENFJ's typically do?
I don't think I idealize my relationship. I just happen to have met a wonderful man who loves me for who I am. He said he was very attracted to my appearance the moment he laid his eyes on me, and my personality is what keeps him interested until now. He is a very sincere and loving man. We have been together for more than 10 years.

In relationships, effective communication and mutual respect are important.


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As for whether I take things personally or not, it depends. As a moderator for a professional site, when people personally attack others with the log-in name they normally use, I delete their threads without prior notice. When I delete their threads, they would try to verbally harass the moderator LOL They would call me all sorts of offensive names. It does not affect my emotions at all. However, when a member creates a different log-in name to maliciously attack another member (instead of using the log-in name that they normally use), I take it personally and immediately terminate the person's account. In this case, I would not just delete their thread(s). I hate people with malicious intents to hurt others. I get personal when I see this happen.

Many people think I am very easy going. I don't get mad often. I laugh all the time. Life is too short to get stressed out all the time. I am saying this because I had gone through much stress in my life in the past to realize that it is mostly perspective. When it comes to conflicts, I like the phrase "agree to disagree" very much :)

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