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MOTM Feb 2011
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I would appreciate if you could take the time to answer these because I am experiencing these feelings and I want to know if it is a common ENFJ thing and how to get out of it.


1. How do you cope with disaster or crisis?
2. Do you put a magnifying glass on the issue and make it bigger than it really is?
3. Do you lose yourself in a melancholic kind of introvertedness and distance yourself while you are stressed or upset?
4. When this happens, do you worry that you might be permanently 'damaged'?
5. How do you stop the self doubt?

Any other things that come to mind, just post them.
 
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Oh my goodness, YES to numbers two through four. I usually magnify problems when they involve people I care about. Usually these include relationships that have gone downhill. I end up looking back and blaming myself, constantly thinking, "Did I offend them? What did I do wrong? Why are they angry? Are they really angry? Am I imagining things? Should I apologize? Ahh!"

& about the melancholy, introverted times... I find that these are the times that I reflect on my life and my actions thus far. Usually these reflections don't turn out too pretty. It's emotionally taxing 'cause I feel like I yell at myself, like a parent yelling at a little child. The only difference? Parents stop when they get their point across. I don't. It's criticism, criticism and more criticism. It's almost as if I need to make myself feel completely rotten before I can get back up again. The upside is that I associate these miserable feelings with actions/thoughts from my past that I'm unhappy with, causing me to change for the better. :happy:

Yeah, it really feels like permanent damage during that time period. It's like INTENSE depression, 'cause it's concentrated in such a short period of time (well, for me anyway). I get out of it by reminding myself that the world doesn't revolve around me, that I should go out and help others--give people energy, support those who seek guidance, and provide an atmosphere in which everyone around me can grow. Once I focus on others instead of myself, I'm out of it. Easier said than done though. I wish you the best of luck!
 

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1. How do you cope with disaster or crisis?
2. Do you put a magnifying glass on the issue and make it bigger than it really is?
3. Do you lose yourself in a melancholic kind of introvertedness and distance yourself while you are stressed or upset?
4. When this happens, do you worry that you might be permanently 'damaged'?
5. How do you stop the self doubt?
2. Yes, 3. Yes, 4. Sometimes but more that I have (or will) permanently damaged others

1 - Usually one of two ways, depending on the disaster or crisis... If it's something external (eg. a plan falling apart, car wreck, whatever) I'll usually throw myself into fixing it and making things better, heart, body, soul, and mind.

If it's internal (eg. betrayal, misunderstanding, emotional whatever) I'll usually go hide in my box and turn out the lights, figuratively speaking... Just want everyone to go away, let me be alone and think... Possibly try to forget rather than deal... makes it hurt worse later though. Probably get waaaaayyyyy too emotional. Definitely moody, brooding, perhaps biting/hurtful and sarcastic if I don't hold my tongue (certainly goes on in my head anyway, even though I know i don't mean it, I'm afraid I do). Usually turn to writing poetry, listening to depressing music...

5 - I don't know, I guess time? I know that's a horrible answer, but usually it just goes away mostly after a while of thinking. Find some spark of optimism and cling to it with all your might, maybe you'll float up to the surface that way...
 

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1. How do you cope with disaster or crisis?
2. Do you put a magnifying glass on the issue and make it bigger than it really is?
3. Do you lose yourself in a melancholic kind of introvertedness and distance yourself while you are stressed or upset?
4. When this happens, do you worry that you might be permanently 'damaged'?
5. How do you stop the self doubt?
1. When it is an honest-to-god crisis- (personal saftely at risk) I am very level-headed and I tend to keep calm and deal very well. I'm not the one running around and panicking. I am able to act... But I think you are talking more emotional crises...

2. I do tend to magnify personal conflicts with others (like if I bicker with my spouse, I can have a harder time letting it slide than him)

3. When something is really troubling me- I get a lot more introverted. I have a hard time maintaining my smile or not dissolving into tears (depending ont he subject) and I keep rehashing it over and over as though there is some solution I can come to... when often it is just a bad feeling that has to pass in its own time.

4. I can have very melodramatic thoughts when I am down and I sometimes do worry about coming out of it... but I don't have the luxury of lingering there because of my son... so these days all these emotions are funnelled through a mush shorter lens... ha ha. I find that everything feels better with time. Some wounds do leave a scar though... I have certain memories that are too painful to think about.

5. I don't really have a lot of self-doubt. I tend to make a decision and go with it- and if it's wrong- it's hard for me to change tracks if I've invested a lot in the other position. I guess you could say that I bottle up whatever self-doubt I am having and I 'fake it' until I am making it.

I don't know what you are going through- but I hope you feel better soon. :happy: (why is there not a 'supportive' smiley?)
 
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