Personality Cafe banner

1 - 6 of 6 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
113 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hello ENFPs! First of all I just want to thank you guys for generally being an amazing bunch of people. One of my closest friends is an ENFP and the dynamic of the friendship is amazing. I love that we can have talks about the deepest, weirdest, philosophical ideas for literally hours without either getting bored.

I just wanted to get some insight into what your experiences are with INFJ friendships?

Weaknesses: I've found that the biggest problem in the friendship is the P part of her personality, which makes her late for everything, whereas the J in me pushes to start things early.

Strengths: The best thing about the friendship is that if we're both working on a project together, we tend to create amazing results working together because of the differing perspectives and insights.

Do you agree with these strengths and weaknesses? What else would you add?

Thanks! :)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
9,800 Posts
I'm not an ENFP however I have many INFJ friends all over the place, different Provinces and Countries.

Friendships with INFJ are sometimes easy, other times difficult.

Weaknesses: ( Could be considered a strength as well I suppose depending on how you perceive it ).....They are workaholics. They don't view the world as a fun place to be. They make a lot of list and plan ahead however don't always follow through. They are doormats and people pleasers, they are afraid of the word NO. They often have patients for people who don't care about them, yet have very little for those who do. They snap easy, and when they do they are ugly and abusive. I was with an INFJ this summer, we were driving down a side street, a woman was crossing the road. She wasn't going fast enough, once she crossed my girlfriend rolled down my window ( passenger seat) and called her a cunt. I was mortified. They have a bad temper. They worship people who use and abuse them, they don't have patience for people who genuinely care about them. They are not friendly people. They panic over little things , they don't think things through before making decisions and often regret it later. Their hygiene is not the best, although they do wash, they don't care so much about what they look like and not considered squeeky clean. They are not deep and rarely want to talk about anything they either don't understand or are not interested in.

Strengths : They are workaholics. They can be trusted in friendships. They have a decent moral compass. They are fairly outgoing and agreeable in groups. They are good with numbers, list and planning. They are loyal if they love you. They understand the needs of other Introverts like myself.

With my female INFJ we have a decent connection. We my male INFJ friends it can be a bit awkward as they are attracted to me on some level making it uncomfortable at times. I enjoy both genders of this type, however they can also drain me with their negative attitude. They often feel sorry for themselves, they act like victims and don't take constructive advice easily. They take a lot personally and don't see the errors of their ways. One on one with an INFJ is exhausting by the end of our meeting, however in a group they are good people to be around.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
113 Posts
Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Hi, Thanks for your post!

I agree with a lot of your points. I'm definitely a workaholic who panics easily and gets defensive about constructive criticism (but I have good hygiene! :p). I was surprised to hear about your girlfriends response in the driving incident as I would probably do the opposite of that and avoid conflict even when it is necessary (so I can vouch for the people-pleaser trait!). It sounds like you've met some pretty unhealthy INFJs because if people treated me badly, the last thing I would do is worship them. In fact i'd probably just abruptly cut them out of my life.

I don't think i've actually met anyone who is an INFP. I reckon it would be so much better having the 'P' trait rather than 'J'?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,235 Posts
@Mina92 I've never been organized in anything, but I'm never late and I do what I'm supposed to do. The problem it's this: If I'm doing something with someone I don't want to feel as if I was supposed to do that thing. Everything must be spontaneous.
Also probably the strength part it wouldn't be true in my case since conclusion it's not a word I could use often: Really good at starting things, but if you don't accomplish it then don't expect me to do that lol.

For the rest: I'm still waiting for my cute little infj in life <33
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5 Posts
OMG this is so true! My ENFP friend is alwaaays late. So frustrating. I can call her to ask if she left the house yet and she will lie and say yes and I can hear that she is still at home!! But we love them dearly anyways :p Lets be honest we wouldn't even be leaving the house right now if not for them. They drug us out of the shell.

That NF connection is instant. The mood swings, explainable feelings, the crazy ideas and values, people evaluation - we share it all.

And I am very guilty of that :(- "They are workaholics. They don't view the world as a fun place to be. They make a lot of list and plan ahead however don't always follow through. They are doormats and people pleasers, they are afraid of the word NO. They often have patients for people who don't care about them, yet have very little for those who do. They snap easy, and when they do they are ugly and abusive."

especially the "easy on everyone else but hard on the people that love them". Just have very high standards for people we love and want you to be better as well! Belive me we are even harder on ourselves :S

But anyways sending love to all ENFPs, enthusiastic, creative and emotional people :)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,850 Posts
Funny.

I'm the one who is ten minutes early for everything, most of the IXFJs in my life are always late.

I'm also the workaholic; they know when to quit and go home and live their life.

They do tend to be more people-pleasing, though we both care about having people like us.
 
1 - 6 of 6 Posts
Top