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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
Okay, so here are the questions I have for you.
1. Have you ever been in an ENFP and an INTP relationship and if so, has it worked for you?
2. What are the things that have worked in the relationship?
3. What are the sources of conflict and/or things that could have been improved about the relationship?
4. If you are an INTP what are some suggestions that you have for us ENFPs on what we can do to help maintain a strong healthy relationship?
5. For those who haven't been in this sort of relationship what is your unbiased POV on ENFP and INTP relationships just based on the information you already know about these two types?

I just really need some advice. My boyfriend (an INFP) and I (an ENFP) are coming up on our one year anniversary this September and I just need to know what I can do to help make our relationship last. I have never met a man that I have more respect for. My emotions are so big sometimes...I just need some advice and I'm really hoping to hear from people who have been in the same sort of relationship. I know what we have is something special and I'm secretly hoping to hear about the INTP and ENFP relationships that have worked out :) Thanks!!
 

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1) Yes. We just broke up.
2) The things that worked were: mind-blowing chemistry; we were able to get lost in Ne land, making everything so interesting; conversations were amazing; we were both easy-going; we didn't judge each other; we were insanely attracted to each other.
3) Sources of conflict: I needed lots of time and energy from him; he needed space. We just didn't "get" each other when it came to this.
4) -
5) -
 

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I'm an INTP in a relationship with an ENFP right now!

Things that work are both being able to accept the quirkiness of the other person and finding similar things funny, being able to make each other laugh.

Conflict arises through energy levels and thinking vs feeling barriers. She likes to get involved with any opportunities she can and keep busy going out all the time, can be very expressive with her passions. I enjoy them to an extent but my mood can drop when things go on for too long. She's also very good at picking up on moods and tone of voice so she becomes affected by my mood and finds it difficult to understand how my mood can change when I'm out socialising for too long.
She also loves the attention that I give her and demonstrations of love that I can forget to show now and again
Thinking vs feeling becomes a problem when debating or when talking about subject of interest. I enjoy philosophical debates and intellectual ones where she loves to talk about spirituality, body/health and buddhism. I don't mind learning about it to some extent though.

The relationship began around 6 months ago and it's going really well and I have strong feelings for her so it really works. We both feel that we can completely be ourselves which is great. As an ENFP, advice would be to maybe respect the difficulty INTPs face in expressing their feelings and emotions regularly. We can be quite distrustful and skeptical of our own emotions, and they're often all or nothing - so can be overwhelming when they do arise.

Good luck searching! :ninja:
 

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Well call me naive, but personality types aren't a blueprint to life.
I mean I honestly believe any pairing can work under the right circumstances.
And though I can't really help specifically in regards to Enfp/Intp
(Being young I've only have one GF and she was probably an ISFJ)
One of my brothers is an INTP.
But he's also my best friend, and that goes beyond being brothers.
 

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I happen to detest just about every INTP I've ever been in contact to (either online on in RL), but that's personal. If you love and respect each other, MBTI heds no weight.

You may have to work more than if you dated other types, but it's perfectly possible :proud:
 

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I've been crazy-happily-married to an INTP for 14 years. I always tell him that out of 7 billion people, he's the only one I could have married. He feels the same (and had planned to be a career bachelor). The chemistry, communication, Ne-land, etc., are all stellar, without any of the conflict I see in other relationships that battle opposite functions.

To each his own, of course, but I do think to a large degree compatibility also depends on where someone falls on the scale of any of the functions. I'm an extreme N and P, so perhaps that's why it works so well for both of us using Ne and being Ps. Here's what I've worked on the most through reading a lot about his personality and mine:

1) I was shocked to learn that ENFPs can come off as smothering, but I realized over time that this is because I genuinely want to fix whatever is a problem. This can come off as smothering because I can have a tendency to keep offering additional solutions and suggestions. Sometimes others aren't looking for a solution, and just need/want space.

2) Communication comes naturally to ENFPs, but in the beginning this was a bit threatening because I wanted to communicate about everything and sometimes he needed time to do so. I'm not someone who takes things personally, and I talk comfortably about (and am genuinely interested in) a person's prior relationships, for example, but it can take time to build trust to see that it's genuine and not a trap. (E.g., I'm not going to run off crying after you admit something positive about the prior girlfriend.)

3) I literally could happily spend all of my free time with him, but I learned early on that me being out gives him the down-time he needs to recharge. Again, type theory helped me to understand that while I have the need to have a large circle of people I'm involved with, he doesn't remotely have this need. We both respect what the other needs in this regard. I would gladly go to his work functions, to put a face with a name, and I know that going to my work functions would be sheer misery--heck, I don't even want to go to my work functions, so I certainly wouldn't expect him to come to mine.

4) I was mortified to read that ENFPs are lax about cleaning/chores. I prefer a spotless, tidy home, but, alas, chronically forget to do any routine cleaning. Knowing this helps because I notice and convey my appreciation for what he does (he cleans regularly), and I do things like laundry and deep-cleaning.
 
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