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I just posted the following reply to your post on the ISTJ forum...


@ lumbajak...you speak very fondly of the wonderful attributes that you find very attractive in your ISTJ...his unbelievable ability to code AI programs, his strategic mind, his ability to play chess and other board games. We find this immensely enthralling because looking for coding errors in an AI program kind of makes us go a bit crazy....but he sees the connections in the coding language and puts it all together to make it work...he sees the gaps (errors) and fixes them...et voila...a wonderful AI application!

On the other hand, your ISTJ is probably equally enthralled with you...wondering how is it possible that she can be such a great musician, storytelling, film-making, writing guru...you scan your environment to see how the pieces fall together...looking for connections...looking for a pattern of meaning and theme and you translate that into a story or a film to help explain the world a little bit better...you are creating your own AI code....in your ability to excel at story-telling.

I marvel and how similar we really are...just using a different language and a different code...if you can figure out a common language and communications techniques that work for both of you then the sky is the limit.

Rejoice in what you're good at and learn from each other. I have fallen victim to unhealthy competition in a relationship...I was too young to know any better and the relationship hit a crisis from which it did not rebound.

Niss has offered some excellent advice from his black book of ENFP secrets ...he is wise beyong belief...his advice on networking with others is very important...and seeking other ways to get validation...broaden your circle of friends and activities...seek out other connections...do what you do best and pull it all together for more story-telling inspiration. Don't worry if you think you are not doing enough activities with your ISTJ...you will find your balance...but keep communicating to explain to him why you need to spin around in differnet social circles.

When I was younger, I thought an indicator of a healthy relationship was doing (almost) everything together with your partner...boy was I wrong...you need to nourrish yourself and so does he...and then the both of you will be able to nourrish a relationship in a healthy and productive way.
 
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