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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm not one to believe that one should have relationships based on the MBTI; I believe a successful relationship depends most on maturity, shared interests, similarity, and overall working well together. However, I believe that the duality of ISTP and ENFP, under the correct circumstances can create an amazing relationship (based on my experience in one) for the following reasons:

*Both are "No bullshit" types.
Although ENFPs are "people pleasers," they're usually honest and straightforward, two traits an ISTP respects the most. They won't stand for the ISTPs usual bullshit, nor will the ISTP stand for the ENFP's bullshit. It makes for a very open relationship that encourages growth on both ends.

*Similar levels of energy.
ISTPs are introverts with Se, a very active and energetic function. In spite of their introversion, ISTPs need some sort of interaction and activity regularly. ENFPs, though extraverts, spend a lot of time in their heads and do need downtime. It creates an excellent balance between the two types.

*Feel ALL the feels!
Don't tell anyone, but some ISTPs actually have feelings. (Maybe. Don't go around telling people.)
From my experience, being around someone who's comfortable with their feelings helps me to accept my own (To the best of my abilities.) Aaand with ENFPs' Ne, they can usually figure out what I'm feeling better than I can.

*Kids at heart.
Probably my favorite part of this relationship: It's FUN. Sure we do boring grown-up stuff like bill paying and going to work, but in our spare time we play video games and go on crazy adventures. How cool is that?! This is a relationship that will never get boring; something that normally destroys a relationship for an ISTP or ENFP. Together they create an explosion of awesomeness.

*Help each other.
ISTPs can help ENFPs take care of the logical practical stuff, as well as pull them out of their wallowing Fi that they fall into sometimes. ("Stop being a wimp." o_O Did I say that?!) On the other side of the coin, I think an ENFP can appreciate and understand how an ISTP shows they care in a way most other types cannot, and they're quick to learn how an ISTP functions. ENFPs can also help ISTPs to stop being cold robots and look at the feeling side of things once in a while.

Now, I'm not saying that an ENFP or ISTP can't work equally well with another type, nor am I saying that all ISTP and ENFP relationships will work out well. I am simply posting my experience and thoughts. Feel free to add your own experiences, negative and positive alike.

[Note: This thread will not be posted in the ISTP forum because...reasons. But ISTPs are more than welcome to chime in too. Even if it's to disagree entirely.]
 

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I think that this post is a very accurate representation of what I am experiencing. I am also in a relationship of this variety where my GF is an ISTP and I am an ENFP. Every point above is eerily spot on. More often than not, what one person lacks, or needs support in, the other person is there with all the answers. The amount of open communication and lack of secrecy is the most amazing situation I have ever been in. Never, in any other relationship has my significant other been so open.

I especially love the spontaneous bursts of adventure and merriment that transpire on a day to day basis. One second, sitting in the bedroom, watching a show. The next, one of us is suggesting some video game, or making brownies, or a moonlit walk whilst smoking a cigar.

Sorry, ENFP derailed in his own comment... XD

Back on topic, I think you hit the nail on the head. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this =D
 

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Yes, i do think given the right two types of people in any relationship, it can work, including ENFP/ISTP. I don't know any success stories to share, although from reading your intro you have showed how this paring can be fun, interesting and totally workable.
 

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I'm not one to believe that one should have relationships based on the MBTI; I believe a successful relationship depends most on maturity, shared interests, similarity, and overall working well together. However, I believe that the duality of ISTP and ENFP, under the correct circumstances can create an amazing relationship (based on my experience in one) for the following reasons:

*Both are "No bullshit" types.
Although ENFPs are "people pleasers," they're usually honest and straightforward, two traits an ISTP respects the most. They won't stand for the ISTPs usual bullshit, nor will the ISTP stand for the ENFP's bullshit. It makes for a very open relationship that encourages growth on both ends.

*Similar levels of energy.
ISTPs are introverts with Se, a very active and energetic function. In spite of their introversion, ISTPs need some sort of interaction and activity regularly. ENFPs, though extraverts, spend a lot of time in their heads and do need downtime. It creates an excellent balance between the two types.

*Feel ALL the feels!
Don't tell anyone, but some ISTPs actually have feelings. (Maybe. Don't go around telling people.)
From my experience, being around someone who's comfortable with their feelings helps me to accept my own (To the best of my abilities.) Aaand with ENFPs' Ne, they can usually figure out what I'm feeling better than I can.

*Kids at heart.
Probably my favorite part of this relationship: It's FUN. Sure we do boring grown-up stuff like bill paying and going to work, but in our spare time we play video games and go on crazy adventures. How cool is that?! This is a relationship that will never get boring; something that normally destroys a relationship for an ISTP or ENFP. Together they create an explosion of awesomeness.

*Help each other.
ISTPs can help ENFPs take care of the logical practical stuff, as well as pull them out of their wallowing Fi that they fall into sometimes. ("Stop being a wimp." o_O Did I say that?!) On the other side of the coin, I think an ENFP can appreciate and understand how an ISTP shows they care in a way most other types cannot, and they're quick to learn how an ISTP functions. ENFPs can also help ISTPs to stop being cold robots and look at the feeling side of things once in a while.

Now, I'm not saying that an ENFP or ISTP can't work equally well with another type, nor am I saying that all ISTP and ENFP relationships will work out well. I am simply posting my experience and thoughts. Feel free to add your own experiences, negative and positive alike.

[Note: This thread will not be posted in the ISTP forum because...reasons. But ISTPs are more than welcome to chime in too. Even if it's to disagree entirely.]
And what about the mental satisfaction for the both? It can work well..?
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Communication seems likes a huge hurdle in a relationship with no common order or of functions. You do make it sound appealing though! I suppose its a rather productive and spicy, not soul mate-y type of relationship if you are in sync??
And what about the mental satisfaction for the both? It can work well..?
I think these are more dependent on the ENFP and ISTP.

It could make for a romantic relationship, or just an exciting fun one. The ISTP must be willing to open up their feelings for that, and it must be what the ENFP is looking for.

As for mental satisfaction, I believe ENFP's intuition matches well with an ISTP's mechanical way of analyzing.
 

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The only ISTP I know thinks I talk too much and I feel as if he doesn't let anybody know what's going on with him. I know he does a lot of his thinking on the inside, while I have to get it all out on the table (for the most part). It could relate to maturity though; we're still young (under 25 both). I'm still learning how to keep things on the inside more, and he'll learn more about communication instead of relying on us to read his mind.

I agree with all of the positives of your post, though. I think it's one of the reasons that the ISTP and I can respect each other as well as we do, even though we don't have much of a relationship past the 'I'm going to be your sister-in-law in a month' type of thing. I enjoy doing things with him though; even though we don't talk much he is very encouraging and has gotten me to do things I never thought I'd do (like ride a dirt bike or shoot guns). He's also very generous as well!
 

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Yes, i do think given the right two types of people in any relationship, it can work, including ENFP/ISTP. I don't know any success stories to share, although from reading your intro you have showed how this paring can be fun, interesting and totally workable.
I don't know.. I've just never been able to picture an ENTJ INTJ relationship.. I get SHIVERS.
 

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You make some good points. However, this

Aaand with ENFPs' Ne, they can usually figure out what I'm feeling better than I can.
made me go "reeeeally?" While I'm generally pretty decent at guessing what's going on in someone's head, so far I've had the experience that I can barely fathom ISTPs. I've had a tendency of reading more into things than I should where ISTPs are concerned. Fine for friendships, but when I tried dating an ISTP, I'll admit I got frustrated a fair amount.

It's not the most easy and natural relationship in terms of communication styles, I don't think, but on the flip-side, differences can be fascinating and extremely attractive.
 

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You make some good points. However, this



made me go "reeeeally?" While I'm generally pretty decent at guessing what's going on in someone's head, so far I've had the experience that I can barely fathom ISTPs. I've had a tendency of reading more into things than I should where ISTPs are concerned. Fine for friendships, but when I tried dating an ISTP, I'll admit I got frustrated a fair amount.

It's not the most easy and natural relationship in terms of communication styles, I don't think, but on the flip-side, differences can be fascinating and extremely attractive.
See, for me it took a long time to begin to understand my ISTP, but with every day I spend around her, I begin to understand her more and more. She kept her emotions under lock and key until we grew together and she began to trust me. It took quite a while for us to be comfortable enough with each other to begin to learn about her feelings. After a while though, it came to the point where I was able to start to figure them out. Nowadays, I can usually deduce what she is feeling a bit faster than she can.
 

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MBTI ISTP is actually ISTj in socionics (ISTj = Ti-dom, ISTp = Si-dom). So that means the duality with ENFp-ISTp is actually in MBTI ENFP and ISTJ.

Not to rain on your parade.

I've known a few ISTPs IRL and what I know about them is that they are brilliant but very calculated. They can't stand my silly antics.

I simply didn't understand them or how they think. And it drove me crazy and I'd try so hard to "get inside their head" and they'd fight me like I was a Dementor, and I'd give up thinking them heartless. C'est la vie.....
 
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