This probably has nothing or little to do with being an Extraverted Intuitive. I would suggest Falling in Love: Why We Choose the Lovers we Choose - Ayala Malach Pines - Google Books which deals with much of what you are talking about and puts it into a quasi-Jungian perspective so you can relate it back to MBTI.
ENFP and lose myself in relationships
I am an ENFP and have a big issue asserting myself. I can always see a million sides to everything and can be very indecisive. Since I am hyper aware of others feelings and want everyone to like me, what others think/feel can make it hard for me to know my own opinion. I can become passive aggressive in close relationships because I feel like I never have input. I can't make up my mind as fast as others and instead get swept up in wanting others - who HAVE formed a strong opinion - to be happy and never figure out how I really feel. Eventually this causes me to be resentful because I feel like I am never accommodated, but of course this is hard for others to do since I never express, or even decide, what I really think!
Any ENFPs get exhausted with being like this and learn to determine and assert your own opinions? Is this a maturity thing? How did you grow past this?
Any ENFPs get exhausted with being like this and learn to determine and assert your own opinions? Is this a maturity thing? How did you grow past this?
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I think a lot of it is maturing... building up that Te. Keep asking yourself what you want. Practice blocking everyone else out for a bit and pay attention to what you enjoy and like or need out of a situation and then take action.
Check your enneagram type and instinct stackings. If you are type 9-sx then you will seek to merge with other people.I am an ENFP and have a big issue asserting myself. I can always see a million sides to everything and can be very indecisive. Since I am hyper aware of others feelings and want everyone to like me, what others think/feel can make it hard for me to know my own opinion. I can become passive aggressive in close relationships because I feel like I never have input. I can't make up my mind as fast as others and instead get swept up in wanting others - who HAVE formed a strong opinion - to be happy and never figure out how I really feel.
SX-9Union/fusion/symbiosis/confluence. Needs to be through another. Fuses with one other. Use relationship to feed your being because you don't stand on your own 2 feet - stands through the other. Suspicious tenderness. Nobodies, not living with passion. Too dispassionate. "Nowhere Man". Not noticable - wallflower. Erased from family picture. "She eats but no one has seen her chew." Betrays own needs.
posted from here
Sounds like it could be either emotional maturity issues or that you're easily overwhelmed by intense or deep interactions with others. It is something to consider when falling in love what processes are taking place. Sort of like showing your underbelly. We all become vulnerable on various levels and trust is definitly a working factor in all this.
Very important consider this:
Know yourself! Find out what it takes to know yourself. Without this, relationships of any kind tend to fail or quickly become toxic!
Very important consider this:
Know yourself! Find out what it takes to know yourself. Without this, relationships of any kind tend to fail or quickly become toxic!
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