[hanalani]

I've seen one too many topics about this. The fact of the matter is, YES, I am drawn to an INTJ.
Not infatuation, love, or lust (okay maybe just a little). Just this strange, unexplainable "magnetic attraction" as some would say.
I try to explain it the best I can but just can't quite wrap my head around it. :bored:
We hardly see each other, let alone talk to each other, but I feel something between us.
Someone also once told me that he feels at ease around my presence.

Note of appreciation: You INTJs are sexy mysteries. I won't lie, I am a proud sapiosexual.
I do enjoy the complicated way you explain things and, by the way, that unspoken connection you share with us ENFPs got me like da-yum (emphasis on yum ;D haha I joke).

Anyone care to help me figure this mystery out?
Also, how do you INTJs feel about ENFPs?

 

[Tridentus]

Yeah it is weird. I would describe my feeling around INTJs as "being at ease" as well. I think INFPs put me at ease by being very Fi- INTJs make the connection through Te. There's also a shared vibe which makes for interesting connection that they give off with INFJs which must obviously be the Ni.

INTJs don't care or take account of the same bull that everyone else does- it's a freeing feeling. I also think that people's 3rd functions represent the "perspective that they admire and most want to develop"- so we exchange Te and Fi in this way.

INTJs are also incredibly low-maintenance.. and being someone that is independent and low maintenance myself it feels like a breath of fresh air to be around that. To not have to manage expectations (which feels like your life if you are a sociable person), and not have to worry so much about stepping on feelings, etc. Everything is intellectual.

 

[hanalani]

Yeah it is weird. I would describe my feeling around INTJs as "being at ease" as well. I think INFPs put me at ease by being very Fi- INTJs make the connection through Te. There's also a shared vibe which makes for interesting connection that they give off with INFJs which must obviously be the Ni.

I know, right? I do cherish my INFP friendships as well. I love them. But with INTJs, there is a deeper intellectual bond. Not to mention how comfortable it feels to be around them; it's like I can be "more of myself" if that makes any sense!

 

[lil intro vert]

I've seen one too many topics about this. The fact of the matter is, YES, I am drawn to an INTJ.
Not infatuation, love, or lust (okay maybe just a little). Just this strange, unexplainable "magnetic attraction" as some would say.
I try to explain it the best I can but just can't quite wrap my head around it. :bored:
We hardly see each other, let alone talk to each other, but I feel something between us.
Someone also once told me that he feels at ease around my presence.

Note of appreciation: You INTJs are sexy mysteries. I won't lie, I am a proud sapiosexual.
I do enjoy the complicated way you explain things and, by the way, that unspoken connection you share with us ENFPs got me like da-yum (emphasis on yum ;D haha I joke).

Anyone care to help me figure this mystery out?
Also, how do you INTJs feel about ENFPs?

You guys exhaust the shit out of me, but when I am in the mood to converse with you guys, you guys make great company. I also like how incredibly nice you guys are, always want to put yourselves before others (foolishly sometimes) and guys aren't quick to judge. You guys just roll with the punches and just deal with shit, but that is also the reason I don't like you guys (maybe this was just with one ENFP I was in a relationship with). I tell her to calm down, she tells me to live a little. The relationship is interesting, but can become dangerous very quick if you don't let the introvert do his thang. I did like that the ENFP I was with understood that I was not the romantic they wanted but she was still faithful and loyal. She helped me with my emotional IQ and I helped her become more grounded and strategic and what not. That's my take. I either want you guys far far far away or close, it's never in between.

 

[hanalani]

You guys exhaust the shit out of me, but when I am in the mood to converse with you guys, you guys make great company. I also like how incredibly nice you guys are, always want to put yourselves before others (foolishly sometimes) and guys aren't quick to judge. You guys just roll with the punches and just deal with shit, but that is also the reason I don't like you guys (maybe this was just with one ENFP I was in a relationship with). I tell her to calm down, she tells me to live a little. The relationship is interesting, but can become dangerous very quick if you don't let the introvert do his thang. I did like that the ENFP I was with understood that I was not the romantic they wanted but she was still faithful and loyal. She helped me with my emotional IQ and I helped her become more grounded and strategic and what not. That's my take. I either want you guys far far far away or close, it's never in between.

Good insight. haha ENFPs are a handful, huh. The dynamic between the two seems to balance each others T and F.
Yeah, I've noticed that there is no "in between" like you said when it comes to INTJs. Is this the case to most things?

 

[lil intro vert]

Yeah, I've noticed that there is no "in between" like you said when it comes to INTJs. Is this the case to most things?

I take pride in "situation dictates". It just depends. What do you mean by "most things"?

 

[hanalani]

I take pride in "situation dictates". It just depends. What do you mean by "most things"?

As in there's no in-between when it comes to decisions, etc.
Either yes or no, love/hate, all or nothing? You know what you want and there's no second guessing.

 

[lil intro vert]

As in there's no in-between when it comes to decisions, etc.
Either yes or no, love/hate, all or nothing? You know what you want and there's no second guessing.

Ahh yes, absolutely. Which is why it takes us a while to make decisions. If we seem quick to make decisions, it is because we thought about this potential decision a loooooooong time ago.

 

[hanalani]

Ahh yes, absolutely. Which is why it takes us a while to make decisions. If we seem quick to make decisions, it is because we thought about this potential decision a loooooooong time ago.

Makes sense. roud:

 

[Unum]

For me, ENFPs are one of my favorite types overall and definitely my favorite in a lady. I love the combination of the intense love of people, the willingness to learn/try something new, and the whirlwind of ideas that are shared. No topic seems too unusual to discuss and there never seems to be a moment where all the ideas are truly exhausted. I realize that I'm not much of a conversationalist, but the little input I can muster seems to be magnified by the ENFP in a way that can keep the proverbial ball rolling with almost no effort (for hours on end).

As an added bonus I don't think I've been pressured to change who I am at my core by an ENFP. I can be myself without any sort of pretenses or masks in a way that isn't appreciated in most social interactions. I've also gotta say, that I love the way you all love. When you act, your feelings bleed through every pore and it is a beautiful sight to behold. It warms this ice man's heart to see that much joy in another. I truly admire the social abilities most of you all seem to possess and have been attempting to glean whatever I can to grow in this regard.

There is a bit of a downside though (which stems from my introverted nature and the natural strengths I love about ENFPs). The conversations I love so much are amazing while they last, but usually leaves me completely winded at the end. The surges of raw emotion are fantastic when they are positive, but absolutely devastating when they turn against their bearer. Working through unpredictable, unstable periods with one particular ENFP was completely exhausting; and worst of all it seemed that there was nothing I could do but be there for her.

Maybe I've been lucky and only interacted with healthy ENFPs, but as a group you all are great. The upsides outweigh the downsides by orders of magnitude, all I ask for are periods of solace to regain my energy.

 

[hanalani]

For me, ENFPs are one of my favorite types overall and definitely my favorite in a lady. I love the combination of the intense love of people, the willingness to learn/try something new, and the whirlwind of ideas that are shared. No topic seems too unusual to discuss and there never seems to be a moment where all the ideas are truly exhausted. I realize that I'm not much of a conversationalist, but the little input I can muster seems to be magnified by the ENFP in a way that can keep the proverbial ball rolling with almost no effort (for hours on end).

As an added bonus I don't think I've been pressured to change who I am at my core by an ENFP. I can be myself without any sort of pretenses or masks in a way that isn't appreciated in most social interactions. I've also gotta say, that I love the way you all love. When you act, your feelings bleed through every pore and it is a beautiful sight to behold. It warms this ice man's heart to see that much joy in another. I truly admire the social abilities most of you all seem to possess and have been attempting to glean whatever I can to grow in this regard.

Your comment made me smile and I love your honesty.
That is one thing I value along with how genuine and raw INTJs are. You don't put up fronts around us and show up with exactly who you are (no masks, like you said).

The INTJ I know is very truthful especially when it comes to his opinions (regardless if it is positive or brutal). But I admire the way INTJs open up and how passionate you all get when it comes to sharing things you know and care about.
Despite the fact that he can't lie, that is him authentically being himself and I understand that. So when I see him happy, I know he really is happy.

I agree on allowing introverts time to recharge. ENFPs have their times, too.

Thank you for your thorough and honest input, I really appreciated it!

 

[Tridentus]

I know, right? I do cherish my INFP friendships as well. I love them. But with INTJs, there is a deeper intellectual bond. Not to mention how comfortable it feels to be around them; it's like I can be "more of myself" if that makes any sense!

Even though I'm very social, and I tend to make friends very easily when I choose to- I think at my deepest level I am very selective in who I trust because I feel just a little odd on the inside in terms of my more complex insights (I think most NFs, and INTJs themselves have this problem too). INTJs just "get it"- I have a fairly good filter for an ENxP and I feel like I use my social skills in a way that I've "learned" in the process of growing up.. But with INTJs, it feels like you can just throw anything out there, and they have the right perspective to just catch what you're throwing and run with it.

This is the part that probably makes me feel most relaxed around them- the fact that my perspectives (which are usually the things I keep most hidden apart from on here) are instantly understood by INTJs, but also accepted in a way that no other type (including other ENFPs) seems to take them. They can keep up with my ideas, and even add to them.

 

[Diogen]

Let me tell you. There are things in this world that I like, like ice cream. There are things in this world that I like a lot, like 'Avatar: The Last Airbender' and deep, intelligent discussion.

For me, none of those things even come close to how much I like ENFPs.
You guys are intelligent, witty, intuïtive, deep thinking, charming, SOOOO NICE and you have all of this in spades. I get the fuzzies just thinking about ENFPs. I know the previous sentences are uncharacteristic for an INTJ, but I can assure you, I am one, albeit a more friendly one than the average, if I do say so myself.

Honestly, I think ENFPs are the best thing in the world and, if you know INTJs, it's unsurprising why they think so. ENFPs are the perfect blend of exciting, mysterious, charming, etc. and deepness, intelligence, etc.

As for why ENFPs are an INTJs/my big crush and not, say ESFPs (opposites attract) or other INTJs is because I believe very strongly that 1: you need common ground, something to relate to and 2: it's better to have one thing in common than to have one thing not in common. This is because of a common phenomenon called romantic relationship symbiosis. This is the unhealthy, but very human tendency to, when deeply in love, to lose themselves in their partner. It's a desire to 'fuse' as it were. To become one. This can happen in any relationship, but I feel it's more common in relationships in which both people are very similar.

To summarise: to INTJs, ENFPs are the impeccable blend of mysterious excitement and comforting familiarity: an INTJs perfect storm.

Needless to say, I really love ENFPs. I'd love to hear more from you and other ENFPs on why you like INTJs so much.

 

[Insider77]

This explains it.

At 1:24 mark,

 

[karmachameleon]

Maybe the INTJ is actually an ISTJ. Or youre an ESFP. That would explain it. Duality.

 

[Azuul]

Whenever an INTJ is around am incredibly attracted to that person as if they where a magnet. As soon as I identify one of them I make sure they know who I am, only to find out that they have spotted me first, haha. I can dream big and the INTJ knowing that probably my new dream won't come true will explore with me the possibilities. INTJs just get it. When I am with them I feel like I can be myself, sometimes i can get frustrated and vent about a situation or a person and they won't take it personal. They can keep up with my mood swings from happy, to supper happy, to extremely happy, to incredibly exited! And the best part is that they actually enjoy it. What I like the most is that they don't try to control me, however if there are things that I could change to make our relationship better then I would gladly do it. Being friends with INTJ in my book has only pros.

 

[mjn_the_enfp]

I've also gotta say, that I love the way you all love. When you act, your feelings bleed through every pore and it is a beautiful sight to behold. It warms this ice man's heart to see that much joy in another.

Honestly, this is EXACTLY what I always try to do whenever I happen to encounter an INTJ in my life. To try and be a joy in their life, and to warm their heart with my general affection coupled with my happy nature. In short, seeing their rare smile always makes my day, especially when I know I was the source of that smile ride:

 

[Diogen]

Honestly, this is EXACTLY what I always try to do whenever I happen to encounter an INTJ in my life. To try and be a joy in their life, and to warm their heart with my general affection coupled with my happy nature. In short, seeing their rare smile always makes my day, especially when I know I was the source of that smile ride:

I'm consistently amazed by your (and ENFPs in general) ability to make me swoon. One of my favourite things about ENFPs.
You made my day. Thanks

 

[mjn_the_enfp]

You made my day. Thanks

If this makees any sense, the fact that i made your day most certainly brightened up my own:glee::joyous:

 

[mjn_the_enfp]

You made my day. Thanks

If this makees any sense, the fact that i made your day most certainly brightened up my own:glee::joyous: