Personality Cafe banner

1 - 7 of 7 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
19 Posts
Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
struggles and joys of an ENFP

I nicked this beautiful and looooong list from somewhere, can't remember where at the moment, but I agree with this 120%.

Anyone else?

- Having two settings: Utterly obsessed, or completely uninterested
- Imagine taking the average person’s emotional spectrum and then removing the middle. There are only extremes for ENFPs. Because of this we constantly look for steady and grounded people to be around. We find security in them.
- Loving spontaneity, and stressing out people who like to stick to the plan. Also loving planning things out to minute details. (The hard part is sticking to the plans…)
- People always thinking I’m asking for advice, when really I just process things out loud.
- I fluctuate between over-sharing and under-sharing.
- People underestimating my intelligence because I come off as too fun, upbeat, and silly to be taken seriously.
- Consistently biting off a lot more than I can chew… and then chewing it because I’m too stubborn to admit my mistake.
- Acting like a completely different person around different friends because I constantly mold myself to appropriately tend to their emotional needs.
- Half of the time being extremely confident and spontaneous, and the other half being extremely insecure and shy.
- Having a bajillion great ideas I can never actually follow through on.


- Consistent internalization of feelings to prevent conflict, or keep from bothering others.
- One of my biggest pet peeves is people who always agree just to keep from conflict, please disagree with me! I love learning from others and their opinions!
- Constantly noticing tiny social fluctuations with friends’ mannerisms and moods, but not bringing them up. If they want to bring it up they will, but the curiosity kills me.
- Being severely open and trusting, but as soon as that trust is broken being completely done.
- I will only show you the parts of me I can handle you denying. It takes a lot for me to be able to share with people, because it would hurt more to have the real me denied than to only let people know the shallow me.
- When I want to talk about something deep with someone, but am scared they don’t want to or don’t care, I’ll just ramble on about superfluous things to change the subject.
- I love the weird things about people: how they laugh, the way they light up when they talk about things they love, their odd ticks, just the simple things that make them unique.
- I’m a utter romantic, and a tireless cynic. In theory I love the idea of romantic gestures and being swept off my feet, in reality I just want steady solid love that needs no big gestures but is perfect in its simplicity.
- People think I’m being nosey, but I really just want to genuinely know people, and sometimes that takes asking hard questions.
- Constantly struggling to put my thoughts into words. I’m a writer at heart; putting word on paper is much easier for me.


- I’m a mess of unfinished thoughts, a browser with too many tabs open. I want to do 1000 things at once, and sometimes that in itself is too overwhelming and I have to take a second to breathe.
- I’m almost never serious, and I’m always too serious. Faithful and detached. Committed and relaxed. Longing for connection yet staying precariously aloof. Loving everyone and yet no one. A sociable loner. Gentle and tough. Either irrationally emotional or completely stoic. Passionate and platonic. In short, predictable in my unpredictability, a plethora of precariously balanced paradoxes.
- Half of my feelings are just doubts about the other half of my feelings.
- I constantly make the mistake of assuming everyone is here to be the best version of themselves.
- Caring way too much, and wishing I didn’t because it makes me feel weak.
- A constant rebel, I refuse to fit your norms.
- Appearing shallow because I flit from topic to topic, but really desiring deep meaningful conversations.
- Aggressively caring about people but not wanting to be clingy about it…
- Having a strong need to be liked, and hating it. I want everyone to like me, but if they don’t, I refuse to change myself to fit what they want.
- I hate conflict, but am not afraid to go toe-to-toe with someone about something that means a lot to me.


- Fighting my emotional side to make sure I’m being rational.
- Desiring to be alone… but like, with people nearby. Like we don’t have to talk, or even acknowledge each other, but I want you to be near.
- I’m very blunt. You’ll know where you stand with me at all times. I don’t mean to be rude, I just value honesty too much to lie and say I like someone who I don’t. On the plus side, I do change my mind about people often, so even if we don’t start as friends, I’m always open to turning over new leaves and trying again.
- Having so much going on in my head that sometimes I can’t even navigate my own thoughts.
- Inexplicably needing to heal the emotional wounds of others, yet not wanting to push too much to get them to open up.
- Liking to make friends with introverts because extroverts can be too extroverted, but then needing together time when the introverts don’t.
- Unfortunately sometimes letting my emotions overpower my intelligence, even though it infuriates me.
- In almost every situation trying to constantly be aware of everyone’s feelings and how I can best act for their sake, and being upset if others don’t do the same for me, and being more upset that that upsets me.
- Needing significantly more alone time than other extraverts, but still needing people time. Seriously though finding the balance here is a constant struggle.
- I’m often overly optimistic to the point of being mildly irrational.



- Interesting conversations are a necessity, I want to feel like you’re expanding my mind. Capture my attention.
- Being constantly anxious that I’ve annoyed or upset someone, while at the same time feeling like they can get over it.
- I can be very impulsive, to the point of being completely unrealistic.
- I’m a natural leader, but I can’t stand making people feel controlled. I want to lead, but only if you want to follow.
- Constantly altering and never being able to meet the notion of an ideal self.
- I’ve become a master at hiding my emotions, I can be completely devastated and will put on a strong face simply to keep those around me comfortable and at ease.
- Unfortunately always wondering if there is something better out there, when I’ve got great things in front of me already.
- If you’re being bossy, and tell me to do something, I will refuse even if I was going to do that to begin with. Blame it on the fiercely independent streak.

- I cannot feel restricted by someone. If I feel someone is deliberately trying to control or restrict me it will not end well.
- Social interactions give me my energy, but I hate superficial conversations.



- Waiting until the absolute last minute to start things, but then being an unstoppable crazy force of creativity and productivity!
- Always desiring to fit into a group, but refusing to compromise my personality to do so.
- Constantly contradicting myself because I genuinely see multiple sides to most situations.
- The internal fight between ‘I have to go out and try everything right now!’ and ‘can I just step back and process all of this real fast?’
- Unexplainable wanderlust; I’m in love with places I’ve never been and people I’ve never met.

- I feel a lot. I have a lot of highs and a lot of lows. I feel, and I feel strongly and sometimes I feel everything all at once, but I’ve finally accepted that emotional is just how I was made, and I don’t have to hide or fix it; I’m not broken. I care, I care a lot. It’s kinda my thing.

Beautiful stuff.
Happy New Year guys, stay true to your crazy self and never stop improving!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,946 Posts
Most seems to fit indeed. :) quite interesting list with some painful confronting truths in there ... ouch. :unsure:

Yay
- Having two settings: Utterly obsessed, or completely uninterested
Nay - Imagine taking the average person’s emotional spectrum and then removing the middle. There are only extremes for ENFPs. Because of this we constantly look for steady and grounded people to be around. We find security in them.
Yay - Loving spontaneity, and stressing out people who like to stick to the plan. Also loving planning things out to minute details. (The hard part is sticking to the plans…)
Nayay - People always thinking I’m asking for advice, when really I just process things out loud.
Yay - I fluctuate between over-sharing and under-sharing.
Nay - People underestimating my intelligence because I come off as too fun, upbeat, and silly to be taken seriously.
Nayay - Consistently biting off a lot more than I can chew… and then chewing it because I’m too stubborn to admit my mistake.
Nayay - Stick to genuine Fi - Acting like a completely different person around different friends because I constantly mold myself to appropriately tend to their emotional needs.

Yay
- Half of the time being extremely confident and spontaneous, and the other half being extremely insecure and shy.
Yay - Having a bajillion great ideas I can never actually follow through on.
Yay - Consistent internalization of feelings to prevent conflict, or keep from bothering others.
Yay! - One of my biggest pet peeves is people who always agree just to keep from conflict, please disagree with me! I love learning from others and their opinions!
Yay! - Constantly noticing tiny social fluctuations with friends’ mannerisms and moods, but not bringing them up. If they want to bring it up they will, but the curiosity kills me.
Yay! - Being severely open and trusting, but as soon as that trust is broken being completely done.
Nayay - I will only show you the parts of me I can handle you denying. It takes a lot for me to be able to share with people, because it would hurt more to have the real me denied than to only let people know the shallow me.

Nayay
- When I want to talk about something deep with someone, but am scared they don’t want to or don’t care, I’ll just ramble on about superfluous things to change the subject.
Yay!<3 - I love the weird things about people: how they laugh, the way they light up when they talk about things they love, their odd ticks, just the simple things that make them unique.
Yay!<3 - I’m a utter romantic, and a tireless cynic. In theory I love the idea of romantic gestures and being swept off my feet, in reality I just want steady solid love that needs no big gestures but is perfect in its simplicity.
Yay!<3 - People think I’m being nosey, but I really just want to genuinely know people, and sometimes that takes asking hard questions.
Yay - Constantly struggling to put my thoughts into words. I’m a writer at heart; putting word on paper is much easier for me.


Yay - I’m a mess of unfinished thoughts, a browser with too many tabs open. I want to do 1000 things at once, and sometimes that in itself is too overwhelming and I have to take a second to breathe.
Yay ... ugh i feel sorry for this - I’m almost never serious, and I’m always too serious. Faithful and detached. Committed and relaxed. Longing for connection yet staying precariously aloof. Loving everyone and yet no one. A sociable loner. Gentle and tough. Either irrationally emotional or completely stoic. Passionate and platonic. In short, predictable in my unpredictability, a plethora of precariously balanced paradoxes.

Yay! shitty MetaFeeling ...
- Half of my feelings are just doubts about the other half of my feelings.
Yay - I constantly make the mistake of assuming everyone is here to be the best version of themselves.
Nayay - Caring way too much, and wishing I didn’t because it makes me feel weak.
Yay! - A constant rebel, I refuse to fit your norms.
Yay - Appearing shallow because I flit from topic to topic, but really desiring deep meaningful conversations.
Yay - Aggressively caring about people but not wanting to be clingy about it…
Nayay - Having a strong need to be liked, and hating it. I want everyone to like me, but if they don’t, I refuse to change myself to fit what they want.
Yay - I hate conflict, but am not afraid to go toe-to-toe with someone about something that means a lot to me.

Yay - Fighting my emotional side to make sure I’m being rational.
Yay! - Desiring to be alone… but like, with people nearby. Like we don’t have to talk, or even acknowledge each other, but I want you to be near.
Yay!<3 - I’m very blunt. You’ll know where you stand with me at all times. I don’t mean to be rude, I just value honesty too much to lie and say I like someone who I don’t. On the plus side, I do change my mind about people often, so even if we don’t start as friends, I’m always open to turning over new leaves and trying again.
Yay!<3 - Having so much going on in my head that sometimes I can’t even navigate my own thoughts.
Nayay - Inexplicably needing to heal the emotional wounds of others, yet not wanting to push too much to get them to open up.
Yay - Liking to make friends with introverts because extroverts can be too extroverted, but then needing together time when the introverts don’t.

Yay! - Unfortunately sometimes letting my emotions overpower my intelligence, even though it infuriates me.
Yay!<3 - In almost every situation trying to constantly be aware of everyone’s feelings and how I can best act for their sake, and being upset if others don’t do the same for me, and being more upset that that upsets me.
Yay - Needing significantly more alone time than other extraverts, but still needing people time. Seriously though finding the balance here is a constant struggle.
Nay - I’m often overly optimistic to the point of being mildly irrational.

Yay!<3 - Interesting conversations are a necessity, I want to feel like you’re expanding my mind. Capture my attention.
Yay
- Being constantly anxious that I’ve annoyed or upset someone, while at the same time feeling like they can get over it.
Yay - I can be very impulsive, to the point of being completely unrealistic.
Nayay - I’m a natural leader, but I can’t stand making people feel controlled. I want to lead, but only if you want to follow.
Nay - Constantly altering and never being able to meet the notion of an ideal self.
Yay - I’ve become a master at hiding my emotions, I can be completely devastated and will put on a strong face simply to keep those around me comfortable and at ease.

Nayay - Unfortunately always wondering if there is something better out there, when I’ve got great things in front of me already.
Yay - If you’re being bossy, and tell me to do something, I will refuse even if I was going to do that to begin with. Blame it on the fiercely independent streak.
Yay - I cannot feel restricted by someone. If I feel someone is deliberately trying to control or restrict me it will not end well.
Yay! - Social interactions give me my energy, but I hate superficial conversations.
Yay! - Waiting until the absolute last minute to start things, but then being an unstoppable crazy force of creativity and productivity!

Nayay - Always desiring to fit into a group, but refusing to compromise my personality to do so.
Yay - Constantly contradicting myself because I genuinely see multiple sides to most situations.
Nayay - The internal fight between ‘I have to go out and try everything right now!’ and ‘can I just step back and process all of this real fast?’
YAY!<3 - Unexplainable wanderlust; I’m in love with places I’ve never been and people I’ve never met.

Yay - I feel a lot. I have a lot of highs and a lot of lows. I feel, and I feel strongly and sometimes I feel everything all at once, but I’ve finally accepted that emotional is just how I was made, and I don’t have to hide or fix it; I’m not broken. I care, I care a lot. It’s kinda my thing.

Yay!<3 Beautiful stuff. Happy New Year guys, stay true to your crazy self and never stop improving!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,567 Posts
I don't think people underestimate my intelligence... Maybe they do and I don't notice? Or maybe I've always been in situations where I can prove my intelligence (degrees, grades, otherwise?).

And I think I have in between emotions although I don't focus on them, however there were points where I was convinced that I must be bipolar because of the amazing highs and terrible lows. Perhaps assessing whether I'm bipolar or not just made me more aware of the inbetween.

Everything else though, yeah, I'm like that more or less.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,995 Posts
I don't think people underestimate my intelligence... Maybe they do and I don't notice?
This makes me remember a particular situation when a company asked me to be part of a focus group. I was joking around about just all sorts of things because I didn't think we'd "started" and we hadn't yet and they were holding it on my turf with people I knew and worked well with. One of the other focus group members who was basically my peer from another clinic stopped me mid-laugh, looked at the facilitator from the company and said , "Alesha has years of experience in this subject. She's very knowledgeable, don't worry." LOL I think I kept joking until time to start. I mean...why do people make things mutually exclusive? Its a problem with society, with America actually. I just took this tiny thought to grand proportions. lol I've thought about this a lot, actually: Trevor is really good on this....my sentiments exactly...

 

·
Registered
ISTP
Joined
·
1,214 Posts
- If you’re being bossy, and tell me to do something, I will refuse even if I was going to do that to begin with. Blame it on the fiercely independent streak.
<3
First I'm annoyed at you for telling me, then I'm annoyed at this thing I really wanted to do and now I don't, also I'll be annoyed at myself both if I do it anyway and if I don't, and don't forget being annoyed at being annoyed. So, this thing where you tell me stuff? Don't do this. Annoyance all around.

Really, parts of that list are so like me, other parts so radically opposite. The combination is utterly fascinating :adoration:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
15,445 Posts
I nicked this beautiful and looooong list from somewhere, can't remember where at the moment, but I agree with this 120%.

Anyone else?

☆ Sometimes - Having two settings: Utterly obsessed, or completely uninterested
☆ No , I'm the most emotionally stable person I know - Imagine taking the average person’s spectrum and then removing the middle. There are only extremes for ENFPs. Because of this we constantly look for steady and grounded people to be around. We find security in them.
☆ yeah - Loving spontaneity, and stressing out people who like to stick to the plan. Also loving planning things out to minute details. (The hard part is sticking to the plans…)
☆ true - People always thinking I’m asking for advice, when really I just process things out loud.
☆ yes - I fluctuate between over-sharing and under-sharing.
☆ no not at alI think people think I'm smarter than I actually am - People underestimating my intelligence because I come off as too fun, upbeat, and silly to be taken seriously.
Yes in my younger years - Consistently biting off a lot more than I can chew… and then chewing it because I’m too stubborn to admit my mistake.
☆ I do act different but it's bc those individual brought out a different side to me, I cannot try to be something I'm not and if I do it'll scare the hell out of my friends more so than comfort them - Acting like a completely different person around different friends because I constantly mold myself to appropriately tend to their emotional needs.
☆ no not quite , I'm rarely ever shy - Half of the time being extremely confident and spontaneous, and the other half being extremely insecure and shy.
☆ I live out my ideas so no - Having a bajillion great ideas I can never actually follow through on.


☆ True - Consistent internalization of feelings to prevent conflict, or keep from bothering others.
☆ True - One of my biggest pet peeves is people who always agree just to keep from conflict, please disagree with me! I love learning from others and their opinions!
☆unsure - Constantly noticing tiny social fluctuations with friends’ mannerisms and moods, but not bringing them up. If they want to bring it up they will, but the curiosity kills me.
☆ not quite depends on who the person is - Being severely open and trusting, but as soon as that trust is broken being completely done.
☆ no , way off, if you can't take me for who I am then you're not worth my time - I will only show you the parts of me I can handle you denying. It takes a lot for me to be able to share with people, because it would hurt more to have the real me denied than to only let people know the shallow me.
☆ true - When I want to talk about something deep with someone, but am scared they don’t want to or don’t care, I’ll just ramble on about superfluous things to change the subject.
☆ doesn't everyone - I love the weird things about people: how they laugh, the way they light up when they talk about things they love, their odd ticks, just the simple things that make them unique.
No- steady solid must be paired with romance- perhaps it's the P in me but I need excitement ( conversations can excite me ) - I’m a utter romantic, and a tireless cynic. In theory I love the idea of romantic gestures and being swept off my feet, in reality I just want steady solid love that needs no big gestures but is perfect in its simplicity.
No- I've never been accused as being nosey - People think I’m being nosey, but I really just want to genuinely know people, and sometimes that takes asking hard questions.
I speak better than I write but I write quite well I think° - Constantly struggling to put my thoughts into words. I’m a writer at heart; putting word on paper is much easier for me.


☆ very very true - I’m a mess of unfinished thoughts, a browser with too many tabs open. I want to do 1000 things at once, and sometimes that in itself is too overwhelming and I have to take a second to breathe.
☆ ite rare for anyone to see me emotional - I’m almost never serious, and I’m always too serious. Faithful and detached. Committed and relaxed. Longing for connection yet staying precariously aloof. Loving everyone and yet no one. A sociable loner. Gentle and tough. Either irrationally emotional or completely stoic. Passionate and platonic. In short, predictable in my unpredictability, a plethora of precariously balanced paradoxes.
☆ I know how I feel at all times - Half of my feelings are just doubts about the other half of my feelings.
☆ people are good I general I still believe that - I constantly make the mistake of assuming everyone is here to be the best version of themselves.
☆ I slap myself for not caring enough - Caring way too much, and wishing I didn’t because it makes me feel weak.
☆ I'll rebel when something crosses values with me - A constant rebel, I refuse to fit your norms.
☆ I can easily dive into deep conversation, I jump from topic to topic bc my Ne goes crazy- Appearing shallow because I flit from topic to topic, but really desiring deep meaningful conversations.
☆ I'm never clingy - Aggressively caring about people but not wanting to be clingy about it…
☆ very true especially in my younger years- Having a strong need to be liked, and hating it. I want everyone to like me, but if they don’t, I refuse to change myself to fit what they want.
☆ very true - I hate conflict, but am not afraid to go toe-to-toe with someone about something that means a lot to me.


☆ I embrace my emotions my emotions make me rational - Fighting my emotional side to make sure I’m being rational.
☆ yeah but that's after having kids - Desiring to be alone… but like, with people nearby. Like we don’t have to talk, or even acknowledge each other, but I want you to be near.
☆ I'm straightforward but never blunt , things can be said in lighter tone - I’m very blunt. You’ll know where you stand with me at all times. I don’t mean to be rude, I just value honesty too much to lie and say I like someone who I don’t. On the plus side, I do change my mind about people often, so even if we don’t start as friends, I’m always open to turning over new leaves and trying again.
☆Very true - Having so much going on in my head that sometimes I can’t even navigate my own thoughts.
☆ very true - Inexplicably needing to heal the emotional wounds of others, yet not wanting to push too much to get them to open up.
☆ I honestly can't tell the differ between the 2 unless extreme, I like both - Liking to make friends with introverts because extroverts can be too extroverted, but then needing together time when the introverts don’t.
☆ no they go hand in hand with each other ' the only intelligence I have is my emotions - Unfortunately sometimes letting my emotions overpower my intelligence, even though it infuriates me.
☆ yes as much as I hate to admit this - In almost every situation trying to constantly be aware of everyone’s feelings and how I can best act for their sake, and being upset if others don’t do the same for me, and being more upset that that upsets me.
☆ I don't know I find that the extroverts in my life are the ones who enjoy traveling alone , a lot of introverts can be quite needy - Needing significantly more alone time than other extraverts, but still needing people time. Seriously though finding the balance here is a constant struggle.
☆ I'm very optimistic but I'm also very realistic - I’m often overly optimistic to the point of being mildly irrational.



☆ yes very true - Interesting conversations are a necessity, I want to feel like you’re expanding my mind. Capture my attention.
☆ not really - Being constantly anxious that I’ve annoyed or upset someone, while at the same time feeling like they can get over it.
☆ hahaha true - I can be very impulsive, to the point of being completely unrealistic.
☆ I don't lead or follow I work with - I’m a natural leader, but I can’t stand making people feel controlled. I want to lead, but only if you want to follow.
No - Constantly altering and never being able to meet the notion of an ideal self.
☆I wish I have this ability - I’ve become a master at hiding my emotions, I can be completely devastated and will put on a strong face simply to keep those around me comfortable and at ease.
☆ no - Unfortunately always wondering if there is something better out there, when I’ve got great things in front of me already.
☆ hahaha true - If you’re being bossy, and tell me to do something, I will refuse even if I was going to do that to begin with. Blame it on the fiercely independent streak.

☆ true - I cannot feel restricted by someone. If I feel someone is deliberately trying to control or restrict me it will not end well.
☆ yeah doesn't everyone? - Social interactions give me my energy, but I hate superficial conversations.



☆ very true - Waiting until the absolute last minute to start things, but then being an unstoppable crazy force of creativity and productivity!
☆ true - Always desiring to fit into a group, but refusing to compromise my personality to do so.
☆ yeah - Constantly contradicting myself because I genuinely see multiple sides to most situations.
☆ sometimes - The internal fight between ‘I have to go out and try everything right now!’ and ‘can I just step back and process all of this real fast?’
☆ - Unexplainable wanderlust; I’m in love with places I’ve never been and people I’ve never met.

☆ i dont know , i wish i feel more at times less at others - I feel a lot. I have a lot of highs and a lot of lows. I feel, and I feel strongly and sometimes I feel everything all at once, but I’ve finally accepted that emotional is just how I was made, and I don’t have to hide or fix it; I’m not broken. I care, I care a lot. It’s kinda my thing.

Idk I think I can only relate to 50 percent of this


Sent from my SM-G955U using Tapatalk
 
1 - 7 of 7 Posts
Top