So, as stated, I am an ENFP teenager, and my mom is an ISFJ. I just find that we are so different on so many levels and we seem to not get each other at all, and it's taking a toll. For instance, my mom is overprotective. As overprotective as you could POSSIBLY get. I am sixteen almost seventeen, and still I am not allowed to go to the mall, I am not allowed to leave my immediate street without asking, and even then it is only to walk somewhere and then walk straight back. I am not allowed to be on my laptop without express permission, and she even preforms random checks on my history..... And, the biggest of all, I am home-schooled against my will. I hate being stuck at home all the time, and I hate that my mom really thinks she can't trust me. I think it stems from the fact that she had a rough childhood; pregnant for the first time at 13, but she lost it. I came along at 15, another child at 17, then 21, 24 and 25. So I know she's just worried that I will end up following in her footsteps. At the same time, she seems to be really conflicted about being so overprotective. Many times she will just tell me to ask my dad if I can do something instead of asking her, and it takes her awhile to decide whether I can or can't do something. And, like one day it will be more than fine for me to go to the high school football game, but then the next she acts as if it is some ridiculous request to ask if I can watch a movie at my friends house. The same house you can see from our front window.
Another thing is that she will ask for my opinion, and then get angry with me if it doesn't match hers! I don't get it: If you want my opinion, I'm going to tell you the truth. I mean, I'll do it tactfully, but I will let you know how I feel about a situation. Any opinion I have at all is not welcome unless it conforms to her expectations. This is so incredibly frustrating when I have a strong opinion, and she won't accept it as a viable option. ENFP's are NOT known for backing down in what we believe in, and she just doesn't get that two people can have differing opinions, and neither of us has to be wrong.
Me being a P, I am not that great with making decisions. College planning is starting, however, which entails many, many decisions. My mom expects me to have a list of 20 colleges and my major picked out ASAP. That is going to take some time, as I am terrified of picking a major now. I'm sixteen, how am I supposed to know what I'll want to do when I'm 23, after college?! i want to wait so that have time to try out a few different things and pick one, but my mom wants me to know, NOW. And I have tried explaining to her that ENFP's are notoriously bad at decision making, especially for something important like this. We like to keep our options open for as long as possible.
Overall, I guess I just need some tips on how to co-exist with my mom without having a nervous breakdown.
I have showed her our personality types, and she agrees with the descriptions, but she doesn't care about how they could relate to our actual lives. And she has some really great traits, she's a great mom and all, but I am just at a loss as to how she functions. the only thing we have in common is F, but her primary function is Is, and mine is Ne. Total opposites. So similarities between us are far and few in between. Any thoughts from you ISFJ's out there?
Another thing is that she will ask for my opinion, and then get angry with me if it doesn't match hers! I don't get it: If you want my opinion, I'm going to tell you the truth. I mean, I'll do it tactfully, but I will let you know how I feel about a situation. Any opinion I have at all is not welcome unless it conforms to her expectations. This is so incredibly frustrating when I have a strong opinion, and she won't accept it as a viable option. ENFP's are NOT known for backing down in what we believe in, and she just doesn't get that two people can have differing opinions, and neither of us has to be wrong.
Me being a P, I am not that great with making decisions. College planning is starting, however, which entails many, many decisions. My mom expects me to have a list of 20 colleges and my major picked out ASAP. That is going to take some time, as I am terrified of picking a major now. I'm sixteen, how am I supposed to know what I'll want to do when I'm 23, after college?! i want to wait so that have time to try out a few different things and pick one, but my mom wants me to know, NOW. And I have tried explaining to her that ENFP's are notoriously bad at decision making, especially for something important like this. We like to keep our options open for as long as possible.
Overall, I guess I just need some tips on how to co-exist with my mom without having a nervous breakdown.