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Hi All, :hampster:

I am a first time poster and I love the genuine warmth and care I have seen on these forums! So I took a deep breath and am diving right in!

I am hoping that the collective wonderfulness that are you beautiful INFPs will be able to help me find new and exciting ways to show and shower love on my wonderful INFP in a way that would make him feel as special and as amazing as he is! :heart::heart::heart:

I adore him! Since the moment I locked eyes with him and he walked towards me I have been completely and utterly entranced by him. His intensity, his way with words, his wit, his smile, his intelligence, his unconquerable soul, his romantic and incomparable heart! :blushed: He is the supernova on the edge of my ever expanding universe that my eyes are ever drawn to. My North Star that always leads me home. Explaining how deeply I love him will take me a lifetime and beyond but I will spend every moment of it showing him! :heart::blushed:

Our relationship is the most amazing and the very best of my life! :heart: He is every guilty half-thought of dark fantasy, wish and deepest hope I have ever had all rolled into the most wonderful man who is perfect for me in all his human and glorious imperfections. He sees me and he knows me. He makes me feel like the most precious and lucky lady in the world and I want to return the favour with everything that I am! Each day he makes me feel truly blessed. I AM truly blessed because he is in my world! :heart:

I write poetry, I text my emotions, I speak my emotions, I express my emotions through touch, through actions, through gifts and through attempting to anticipate his needs, his wants, his desires...same as he does for me! :blushed: But I am always searching for yet more ways that I can express my love and improve our amazing relationship.


So my question is how can I better love my INFP mate and make him feel the depth of my heart and show him how special he is to me? What would you LOVE your mate to do for you?
 

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Well I can speak from both perspectives, being an INFP myself and having been in a long-term rel with an INFP man, so...

let me quote you a bit:

I write poetry, I text my emotions, I speak my emotions, I express my emotions through touch, through actions, through gifts and through attempting to anticipate his needs, his wants, his desires...same as he does for me! :blushed: But I am always searching for yet more ways that I can express my love and improve our amazing relationship.
Doesn't sound to me like there's anything you need to do unless it's intuitive and true to you (natural, just flows from you). You already do every fucking thing in the book xD Just, don't exhaust yourself, k?

The things that make me feel loved are the everyday things, never ever the big things. Grandiose displays of affection aren't my thing, much less in public. My INFP was/is the same way.

Love languages play a role in these things. Our #1 love language for both of us is Quality Time, so we were practically joined at the hip, watching movies, eating, playing videogames (I hate videogames so I must love you a lot if I'm attempting to play), hiking, working out, adventuring, talking, anything... A fave activity is to be quiet together. So like we would lie down in bed for 4 hours (I'm not exaggerating) and we would stare at the ceiling in silence, doing absolutely nothing other than breathe and hold hands. We wouldn't even listen to music, cause it caused us to daydream instead of being present. This sounds like a very strange activity to people, but it's what it is LOL
So my point is that you don't have to do anything other than breathe and be yourself. If he's with you, if I'm with you, it's for a reason. You don't have to work for his love. Just do what you feel called to at every moment intuitively. You're already a thoughtful generous person, judging from your post.

Depending on what love languages you're dealing with, various different things will feel more natural than others.
Like my INFP wrote me love letters on a weekly basis for two fucking years. These people are intense. Words were of extreme importance to him. But I didn't reciprocate letters as much because Words of Affirmation is not a love language that is high in my scale, I have other natural tendencies, like Acts of Service. I had to step up my Words game because he expressed that he needed that from me. It was no problem. Meeting needs is what I was born to do, tbh, sounds like your INFP is similar. So just trust that if he needs something he will tell you.
Since my language is Acts of Service, that's how I express and receive love. So I literally cried, CRIED, every time the guy did stuff for me, like he would fix stuff in my house and fix my computer all the time without me saying a word, he was constantly and effortlessly anticipating my needs in the Acts department.
So it just depends, u know.

And honestly sex. If work prevented us from sexing for too long (and too long is subjective) I would literally end up crying with a void in my soul. My love needs to be expressed that way. (I understand there's asexual people in the world, so just sayin' just in case).

I honestly can't think of anything more romantic and soulful than the small things of everyday life: eating pizza in bed watching Supernatural, then sex, then stare at the ceiling for 4 hours, then talk about philosophy, then go hiking and touch stray dogs. That is literally The Dream, The Bliss xD
 

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Oh God, feelings! *hides*
Seriously tho, you should just show him this thread :p
The last INTJ "friend" I had would say: "Feelings! So redundant. Some editing is in order here".

He was chief editor at a site where I tried to be a contributor

:puffer:

(Yes, he would have edited out that smilie, too).
 
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Well, hello, you're adorable. Your partner is lucky to have you.

I love when my partner gives me little nudges to do the things I want to do but am shy or reluctant about. I don't seek for him to be big and effusive about it - actually that scares me away - but sometimes he'll go out of his way to get me the supplies I need, or will sit down and help me look at information. The other day I texted him I was so sore I was considering a bath - and I haven't taken a bath in years - but he went out and bought me a bath fizzy, gently herded me into the bathroom that evening, even set me up with gentle music. It was so sweet and wonderful. He also helped me research for jobs by doing some digging on the internets and showing me what he found. I am so grateful when he helps me with insurance/financial/etc. paperwork as well because it makes me very stressed.

I also love going on walks outdoors with him. So happy.
 

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@HappyHeart I feel you. I'm ENFP married to INFP. We need a thread....
The love language stuff is great, you should look into it.
 
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Discussion Starter #8
Oooooo! Thank you guys!

The responses have been wonderful! And entheos, THANK you for that beautiful glimpse into your past relationship! I have to say that I can spend 15 hours straight with him just talking and doing those little things that make life SOOOO blissful! :heart::heart::heart:

*swoon* He is above and beyond the sweetest, most caring, empathetic, loving, gentle, gorgeous, sexy af man I have ever known! :blushed:

As for independence...I am one independent lady!:wink: It's part of what makes what I feel and have with my beloved INFP so MAGIC! :blushed::blushed: He really sees me. He loves me. I will spend hours diving into the beautiful depths of his mind and soul! There is nothing more glorious than the sanctuary of his arms when I step out of my stilettos and cast off the mantle of executive for the title of 'baby'! :heart::heart:

Oh wow! Those are wonderful ideas...to connect to nature! I bought us a picnic basket (one of the totally romantic wicker ones!) but I have forgotten to pull it out and use it! :shocked: I MUST remember these things! I wanted to take him on a whirlwind romantic Alice in Wonderland picnic complete with bubbles and reading out loud from the leather bound book! Why have I let that moment creep away from me over the Christmas holidays?! I need to put it into action stat! :kitteh:

THANK YOU ALESHA! We have taken the love language test and we both score TOUCH as no.1 and Words of Affirmation as no.2! Which tends to mean that we are often touching, entwined and TALKING...or writing sweet nothings...or communicating via the exchange of novels we have written for each other! :eek:ctopus: Yeah...we are soppy! :tongue:

I am SOOOO happy to hear that you are married to an INFP! I have read here that the match can be intense but that 'friendship' is often the best outcome! :bored: My INFP is my best friend but he is also sexy af and our chemistry sparkles off us!

What are some of the issues that you have faced that you believe are perhaps something that is influenced by the ENFP/INFP dynamic? I love my INFP (obviously) and we are on the cusp of engagement so I would be deeply interested and appreciative of any advice you could give me! :kitteh:
 

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Haha, there's so much sweetness in your posts I might get diabetes just from reading them :kitteh:. It's good to see you love him so much.
An ex of mine was ENFP and she was very sweet too. From what I remember the only thing that bothered me was how sure she was she wanted to date me, I usually need some time to process this kind of stuff. When we first started dating I felt she was rushing and I felt kinda smothered by how fast she was going, I told her about this and she understood immediately. But yeah other than that smoooooooth sailing (well in my case anyway).
You guys seem to be doing just fine, not sure you need any advice ;). Just remember to communicate (it can be hard for some INFPs), and keep at it, good luck to you two!:wink:
 

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Thanks Felix Black! :kitteh: That's good advice about not rushing things! I do give him alone time because you sweet and glorious INFPs seem to enjoy some down time now and then. :wink: But I will certainly see if he feels rushed in any way. I would never ever want him to feel pressured in one way or another by me! That's the WORST thing that I could ever do to someone let alone my SO! :unsure:

I will communicate and let him know that we always have all the time in the world...but then I suspect he is likely to ask ME if I am feeling pressured about his intention to propose! :tongue: Which will become an hours long conversation about everything under the sun! :kitteh:
 

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Edgelord
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where do I find a qt 3.14 ENFP gf I can marry and have three children and learn languages with?
 

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Thanks for sharing- I've always enjoy reading about enfp and infp relationships. I think ideally my dream guy have always been an infp - I find fi dom to be most comforting to talk to

Sent from my SM-G955U using Tapatalk
 

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ENFP deeply, madly, truly
You got the order wrong :tongues:

 
HappyHeart said:
He is the supernova on the edge of my ever expanding universe that my eyes are ever drawn to
Weeeeell, if he were a supernova on the edge of your universe, and the universe is not only expanding quickly but it's rate of expansion is being sped up by dark energy... that would make him not visible to you even if you were using the most advanced telescope that the most advanced alien species could create. Since light would not have had time to reach you from where it was.

If you want to use astronomical terms that would make this scenario plausible, you could maybe say "He is the G-Type Main Sequence Yellow Supergiant star to my Dyson Sphere"... since in this scenario the gigantic, gargantuan yellow supergiant would represent the ENFP - and the Dyson Sphere, which is an advanced alien technology that encases a host alien species' star in order to catch the entirety of it's energy output - would represent the INFP; since the Dyson Sphere is literally an introvert (as it's 'introvertively' encasing the star)

Although if we're gonna get technical about it, just because yellow supergiants are among the biggest stars, doesn't necessarily mean they are always the brightest - as that is determined by it's distance to the Earth. The biggest stars emit very little energy in the blue and ultraviolet spectrum, thus causing a severe under-representation in the list of stars with highest apparent magnitudes.

So if we were to choose the literal brightest star (apart from the sun), that would be Sirius... although that is in actuality a teensy little white dwarf (well, more than one, as what we see with our naked eye as one star is actually two), which doesn't work so well when one wants to use things in the service of rhetoric... and so I went with yellow supergiant.
 

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Yellow Supergiant... are you calling me fat? :tongue::tongue::tongue:

Despotic Ocelot - I think you are one of my new favourite peeps! :chat02: You are AWESOME! One of my besties (the rocket scientist) would definitely tell me the same thing! :tongue: Technicalities are to be respected!

I am going to have to change my comment! :kitteh:

My INFP is the G-Type Main Sequence Yellow Supergiant star to my Dyson Sphere! :heart::heart::heart:

PS. I think that my INFP would also love for me to get it technically correct as well as romantic! :wink:
 

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@entheos where did you meet your boyfriend?. The way how you describe your relation put me on daydreamer mode. It amkes me feel happy and thinking of the possibilities

I know this question might sound weird but if I would like to met an INFP girl, in which places should I seek?. Is a double weird question because I should know the answer because Im an INFP, but is always good to read ideas.

Btw, do you speak Spanish, your profile say you are from Spain. Otra hispanohablante !!!!, eso significa que no estoy solo en Personality Café, que bueno ;)

Saludos

Charly the rabbit
 

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Oooooo! Thank you guys!

The responses have been wonderful! And entheos, THANK you for that beautiful glimpse into your past relationship! I have to say that I can spend 15 hours straight with him just talking and doing those little things that make life SOOOO blissful! :heart::heart::heart:

*swoon* He is above and beyond the sweetest, most caring, empathetic, loving, gentle, gorgeous, sexy af man I have ever known! :blushed:

As for independence...I am one independent lady!:wink: It's part of what makes what I feel and have with my beloved INFP so MAGIC! :blushed::blushed: He really sees me. He loves me. I will spend hours diving into the beautiful depths of his mind and soul! There is nothing more glorious than the sanctuary of his arms when I step out of my stilettos and cast off the mantle of executive for the title of 'baby'! :heart::heart:

Oh wow! Those are wonderful ideas...to connect to nature! I bought us a picnic basket (one of the totally romantic wicker ones!) but I have forgotten to pull it out and use it! :shocked: I MUST remember these things! I wanted to take him on a whirlwind romantic Alice in Wonderland picnic complete with bubbles and reading out loud from the leather bound book! Why have I let that moment creep away from me over the Christmas holidays?! I need to put it into action stat! :kitteh:

THANK YOU ALESHA! We have taken the love language test and we both score TOUCH as no.1 and Words of Affirmation as no.2! Which tends to mean that we are often touching, entwined and TALKING...or writing sweet nothings...or communicating via the exchange of novels we have written for each other! :eek:ctopus: Yeah...we are soppy! :tongue:

I am SOOOO happy to hear that you are married to an INFP! I have read here that the match can be intense but that 'friendship' is often the best outcome! :bored: My INFP is my best friend but he is also sexy af and our chemistry sparkles off us!

What are some of the issues that you have faced that you believe are perhaps something that is influenced by the ENFP/INFP dynamic? I love my INFP (obviously) and we are on the cusp of engagement so I would be deeply interested and appreciative of any advice you could give me! :kitteh:
HappyHeart, I'm trying to think of what someone like you, just starting out and so in love and optimistic would accept and actually gain something helpful from. I was actually having a very frustrated week with my husband last week and actually posted on it --- but I do think that the only way for me to deal with my frustration is to deal with myself, give myself some self-love. I read this week too that the best thing you can do for any relationship is to love yourself more... it sounds like this helps to reduce your expectations of other people. And if you can love someone without expectations for them, then I think thats a really unconditional love that people crave and can feel.
I just asked my husband why he loves me an d he was in a mood to tell me, He said, "You care about me and you encourage me in my dreams and goals. You look for the best in me and you don't just expect me to fit a certain role."
I asked, "Do you appreciate that?" He said, "I'm not an easy person to live with...you're so positive and bubbly. I know I'm not always positive, it balances me out." I will tell you with my husband I sometimes feel really ineffective. He deals with depression for one thing, but for another he often takes a negative view and he's lots less motivated than me (baby Te v.s tert Te) so often I feel like I'm trying to shake sunshine into him. I feel like none of that negativity is true or needed and I am tireless for hours and hours of trying to make him feel my love. Today this sounds exhausting to me. If you knew me you'd know I am never exhausted. There is always one more good ENFP fight for good in me. Me hearing my husband say that he appreciates this, that he thinks my positivity and love and support are actually effective means the world to me...because can you hear it in my voice? Most of the time I feel like I am single-handedly fighting demons off for days and months from off our doorstep and nobody knows or appreciates it.
On the other side of things I am frustrated and I say so which makes him feel unappreciated.
So here's what I want you to know. There's a pretty much psychic connection between us. He knows what I'm feeling exactly. He understands me exactly. I understand his feelings exactly. , because the Fi-Ne between us both is so close I don't really see any difference in us at all when we're together. We just agree completely on any Ne-Fi thing. But how we DEAL with our feelings is different. It's our third functions where you feel the difference. For me if I'm feeling bad, I'll only tolerate that for a short time, then my Te comes in and says "This is ridiculous, you can DO something about THIS!" and I'll tell him we are going to fix such and such. And because we understand each other in every other way, I expect him to want to "fix' things like I do. But it isn't true, he and i are different Now, when he's feeling bad, his baby Te isn't strong enough to help him and when I'm trying to "teach" him that Te can do a lot and is great in us. Instead I think I actually need to just work on healing his Fi. Te isn't going to do him any good like it does me, and I just come across like some ESTJ bitch. It will help us but not him. So, feed his soul and heal his Fi is how I will deal. I wonder if he needs to engage his Si... maybe I should figure out how. I'm falling asleep, sorry if any of this doesn't make sense.
@Don Draper is also a INFP man who is with a ENFP woman. He's been kind enough to share his views and experience and also to be the unwilling recipient of my questions before I gained any wisdom last week. Thank you @Don Draper
 

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Edgelord
INFP 5w4 - ILI - Chaotic Good
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@entheos where did you meet your boyfriend?. The way how you describe your relation put me on daydreamer mode. It amkes me feel happy and thinking of the possibilities

I know this question might sound weird but if I would like to met an INFP girl, in which places should I seek?. Is a double weird question because I should know the answer because Im an INFP, but is always good to read ideas.

Btw, do you speak Spanish, your profile say you are from Spain. Otra hispanohablante !!!!, eso significa que no estoy solo en Personality Café, que bueno ;)

Saludos

Charly the rabbit
We're three now.
 

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@entheos you are like, my new NF crush! I loved reading about your relationship. It's a shame that it ended, it sounded so wonderful. Hearing from you and @Alesha , lovely ladies with lovely love lives makes me so envious... I wonder if I could love and be loved like that? That kind of thing seems to be reserved only for the coolest girls around. It's like everyone else is having a crappy relationship or none at all.
 

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Edgelord
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Oooooo! Thank you guys!

The responses have been wonderful! And entheos, THANK you for that beautiful glimpse into your past relationship! I have to say that I can spend 15 hours straight with him just talking and doing those little things that make life SOOOO blissful! :heart::heart::heart:

*swoon* He is above and beyond the sweetest, most caring, empathetic, loving, gentle, gorgeous, sexy af man I have ever known! :blushed:

As for independence...I am one independent lady!:wink: It's part of what makes what I feel and have with my beloved INFP so MAGIC! :blushed::blushed: He really sees me. He loves me. I will spend hours diving into the beautiful depths of his mind and soul! There is nothing more glorious than the sanctuary of his arms when I step out of my stilettos and cast off the mantle of executive for the title of 'baby'! :heart::heart:

Oh wow! Those are wonderful ideas...to connect to nature! I bought us a picnic basket (one of the totally romantic wicker ones!) but I have forgotten to pull it out and use it! :shocked: I MUST remember these things! I wanted to take him on a whirlwind romantic Alice in Wonderland picnic complete with bubbles and reading out loud from the leather bound book! Why have I let that moment creep away from me over the Christmas holidays?! I need to put it into action stat! :kitteh:

THANK YOU ALESHA! We have taken the love language test and we both score TOUCH as no.1 and Words of Affirmation as no.2! Which tends to mean that we are often touching, entwined and TALKING...or writing sweet nothings...or communicating via the exchange of novels we have written for each other! :eek:ctopus: Yeah...we are soppy! :tongue:

I am SOOOO happy to hear that you are married to an INFP! I have read here that the match can be intense but that 'friendship' is often the best outcome! :bored: My INFP is my best friend but he is also sexy af and our chemistry sparkles off us!

What are some of the issues that you have faced that you believe are perhaps something that is influenced by the ENFP/INFP dynamic? I love my INFP (obviously) and we are on the cusp of engagement so I would be deeply interested and appreciative of any advice you could give me! :kitteh:
that sounds like the relationship I want
 

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Showing the depth of your heart is lovely, but in realistic long term sense understand that he might not want to feel you as intensely as you might want sometimes. It's is not anything personal. Recognizing that space he requires is love also. Deciding who is good at what and designating roles in the relationship would bring some much needed stability when things are up in the air, it will feel like that sometimes. Instead of sweeping things under the carpet that disturbed you actively push to express that and find the middle ground.

Sorry to dampen the tone, these are things i would have expressed/introduced more firmly when i was in a relationship with a ENFP.
 
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