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I'm always drawn to ENFP men. We have SO much fun together. But it seems like in the end, those relationships are the ones that end in total disaster. Any ideas why this is? Do I have to give up on my ENFP men forever?
 

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I'm always drawn to ENFP men. We have SO much fun together. But it seems like in the end, those relationships are the ones that end in total disaster. Any ideas why this is? Do I have to give up on my ENFP men forever?
Unfortunately, I don't have an answer. I've always viewed relationship dynamics as something personal and individual. I find it hard to simplify them down to only interactions between types. While some types may tend to have more compatibility in general, I tend to find that there are very many different sorts of relationships in love.

Having said that, maybe it's that you two are too similar sometimes?
 

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I can speak for the situation with the genders reversed.

Two separate relationships with ENFP's. We got along great and still do. We just didn't choose each other for the long-haul. Don't know how it would have worked out if we did. I have a feeling my abrasiveness would have worn on the ENFP type over the course of any long-term relationship.
 

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Yes, the communication differences seem to be a big issue. But it's only in romantic relationships--my ENFP friends think my abrasiveness, or borderline bitchiness as they put it, is hilarious.
 

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It could work, as any two healthy individuals of any personality type can make it work. But, yeah, I was good friends with my ENTP roommate for years. Our Ne exploded with one another and we had lots of fun the limited amount of time we had together.

But... once I started living with her..

I don't know. I just saw her more critical side a lot of the time. But it's just her. Not speaking for all ENTPs. She's certainly a special case. We get along well now. There was just a brief period of time she couldn't seem to stand me and in turn it made it hard for me to stand her. We're over that now, but she can be a bit insensitive occasionally. I find that so weird because I hear her talking to her other friends on skype and she can sound like the sweetest person ever. Sweet. It doesn't mean genuinely kind and concerned, although I'm sure she is for her friends to her own extent.

She does also tend to talk highly of herself sometimes. That can be annoying when I'm not in the mood for it.

But, yeah, that's just her. Trust me, though; we do have fun together sometimes and when that happens, it's pretty damn fun. She's very intelligent and witty. Just needs to be a little more sensitive about other people's feelings is all. She has far more tact than I do in public settings, but I have far more connection to someone than she does in a personal setting. I find that funny.

I'm more likely to say something 'inappropriate' that I'm not supposed to in a certain context (public, around children, around older social conservatives, etc), yet she's more likely to say something hurtful in a more personal setting. I'll accidentally on an impulse (or from not really caring or knowing) say something crude when I'm apparently not supposed to according to her and she'll be like "Dude! People!". Conversely, she might say something that might be a little rash and it'll hurt someone's feelings and I'll tell her "Ok, maybe that wasn't so cool", but she'll respond with how it's true; the person should deal with it.

Yeah, I'm just ranting now.

I'm sure there are amazing ENTP's out there in the world. This is just the one I live with and there was only tension between us when we lived together (well, still living together..)

Based off of our dynamic before we were roommates, I'd say it'd be a great match!
 

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I personally have never noticed anything abrasive about ENTPs. I find them fuzzy like little puppies. They are adorable.

I had a relationship with an ENTP and it was pretty awesome. But this person and I had so much fun, I thought at times we might die. We really were incredibly alike and that was a bit crazy. I always thought crack cocaine would be similar. Haha. It felt like there was never a parent home when we were together. It was pretty explosive. Ne gone wild! :crazy:

This guy and I are no longer with each other. I haven't seen him since November. He told me he fell in love but I wasn't in the right mind space. But we can still talk and check in on each other. It was probably one of the most coolest of endings. We haven't done any damage to each other and we haven't burned any bridges with each other. It makes me really like the idea of dating Ps. We can both be forgiving and pretty laid back about things. I think that actually can give a relationship endurance.
 

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I'm always drawn to ENFP men. We have SO much fun together. But it seems like in the end, those relationships are the ones that end in total disaster. Any ideas why this is? Do I have to give up on my ENFP men forever?
No I absolutely love ENTP women. I get along with them great.
 

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I think there should be a warning with most ENTPs, especially when around ENFPs:

"CAUTION: ONLY HANDLE IN SMALL DOSES"
 

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Why is that?
The ENTP I hang around tends to be abrasive, and never realizes why what he just said was horrible. He thinks that, as long as he makes it a joke, it's fine.

Last night, a friend and I were watching a movie (Waking Life). While, admittedly, it's a bit strange (I even warned my friend that she'd probably find it odd. I just like seeing people's reactions to it.), my ENTP friend walks in, watches it for about ten seconds, and says, "Wow, this movie's horrible. Why are you watching it? I have about ten movies that are so much better than this. What's it about?"

Me: "It covers a bunch of different philosophies, like existentialism, solipsism, idealism, etc. I find it interesting. I don't need a plot as long as the ideas are fun to think about."

*He leaves*
*Movie says something about dreams.*
*Comes back*

Him: "There are two things I never argue: dreams and religion. They're both pointless arguments. It's stupid. I sincerely think that religion will be the last argument to be resolved before all other arguments."

Me: "Bye."

"It's like you want me to leave or something."

"Yep. Bye," he stands there, "See ya; bye!"

Other friend: "That was mean! Why'd you do that?"

"He was getting on my nerves."

There are so many times that, when I hang out with him for too long, I just want to slap him across the face. He tries to be funny, but most of the time he just ends up being insensitive.
 

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I get along really well with ENFP's. But I think Fi is an intense and enigmatic thing for ENTP's to deal with. It makes sense that we get along using primary Ne, but misunderstanding can arise between our introverted functions. It's actually kind of frustrating for me when an ENFP can't get past the emotional reaction and calmly sort out a situation. I tend to give a lot of rational ideas in these instances and it all pretty much bounces right off them.

Last night, a friend and I were watching a movie (Waking Life). While, admittedly, it's a bit strange (I even warned my friend that she'd probably find it odd. I just like seeing people's reactions to it.), my ENTP friend walks in, watches it for about ten seconds, and says, "Wow, this movie's horrible. Why are you watching it? I have about ten movies that are so much better than this. What's it about?"
For the record, I fucking LOVE that movie. It's like Ne>Ti ecstasy! But I've noticed that a lot of ENTP's seem to need more explosive action-packed movies.
 

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I was with an ENTP for more than a decade. When it was good, it was great - very passionate, lots of deep conversations late into the night, ideas/dreams/abstractions bouncing all over the place...

But when it went bad *shudder* He was great at earning money but not at saving or investing wisely. He wanted excitement and newness and debates. It began to feel like a bit of a roller coaster. I found myself saying "no, we can't do this" and "no, you can't buy that" all the flipping time, and whenever I tried to set boundaries (which is already hard for an ENFP to do), he fought against them like crazy.
 

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I laughed so hard when I saw "ENFP + ENTP".

Both great personalities... but OHHHhhh so wrong for each other. One as genuine as you can be, the other totally disingenuous and loving it. But I guess an ENFP would see that :p so they should know they're getting into trouble.
 

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I laughed so hard when I saw "ENFP + ENTP".

Both great personalities... but OHHHhhh so wrong for each other. One as genuine as you can be, the other totally disingenuous and loving it. But I guess an ENFP would see that :p so they should know they're getting into trouble.
I don't agree with you.
1. I wouldn't date based on types. I think type is more something which helps understand the other than a dating path, you should follow or not.
2. There's more than types to personalities. I have met perfect types for me (INTJ/INFJ etc...) that were not perfect personalities for me. We didn't have the same outlook on life at all.
3. healthy ENFP + healthy ENTP might be the perfect match in your late 20 or 30ies (when you've learned to balance yourself). Both are freedom lovers, both hate controling people, both enjoy excitement. The Te of the ENFp balances the very bad Si and Ti of the ENTP. The Ti of the ENTP balances the Fi of the ENFP. Similar enough to understand each other, different enough to balance each other out. Sounds great !
There's that non-judgemental and in depth understand of each other that makes you trust the other so much...
 

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I'm always drawn to ENFP men. We have SO much fun together. But it seems like in the end, those relationships are the ones that end in total disaster. Any ideas why this is? Do I have to give up on my ENFP men forever?
I would guess the relationships just ended badly.

It's an unfortunate truth that bad breakups are a fairly common things, and I don't think personality types are going to effect the chance of a bad breakup.
 

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It could work, as any two healthy individuals of any personality type can make it work. But, yeah, I was good friends with my ENTP roommate for years. Our Ne exploded with one another and we had lots of fun the limited amount of time we had together.

But... once I started living with her..

I don't know. I just saw her more critical side a lot of the time. But it's just her. Not speaking for all ENTPs. She's certainly a special case. We get along well now. There was just a brief period of time she couldn't seem to stand me and in turn it made it hard for me to stand her. We're over that now, but she can be a bit insensitive occasionally. I find that so weird because I hear her talking to her other friends on skype and she can sound like the sweetest person ever. Sweet. It doesn't mean genuinely kind and concerned, although I'm sure she is for her friends to her own extent.

She does also tend to talk highly of herself sometimes. That can be annoying when I'm not in the mood for it.

But, yeah, that's just her. Trust me, though; we do have fun together sometimes and when that happens, it's pretty damn fun. She's very intelligent and witty. Just needs to be a little more sensitive about other people's feelings is all. She has far more tact than I do in public settings, but I have far more connection to someone than she does in a personal setting. I find that funny.

I'm more likely to say something 'inappropriate' that I'm not supposed to in a certain context (public, around children, around older social conservatives, etc), yet she's more likely to say something hurtful in a more personal setting. I'll accidentally on an impulse (or from not really caring or knowing) say something crude when I'm apparently not supposed to according to her and she'll be like "Dude! People!". Conversely, she might say something that might be a little rash and it'll hurt someone's feelings and I'll tell her "Ok, maybe that wasn't so cool", but she'll respond with how it's true; the person should deal with it.

Yeah, I'm just ranting now.

I'm sure there are amazing ENTP's out there in the world. This is just the one I live with and there was only tension between us when we lived together (well, still living together..)

Based off of our dynamic before we were roommates, I'd say it'd be a great match!
This actually sounds a lot like what happened with me and my ENTJ roommate. We got along FABULOUSLY, just always bouncing ideas back and forth, discussing life and education, and really just getting along well. Then we started living together and his cynical and critical side really began to become obvious to me. When we just saw each other every now and then it was fantastic. But, as time went on, his abrasiveness got to me.

Now, while I stay committed to being his friend, as I always will, I do need to take a break from him to sort of recharge and be able to handle that sort of abrasiveness and cynicalness. For ENTPs I can't imagine it would be much different, though perhaps more off the cuff than a definite and absolute certainty in whatever matter it is that bothers me. In that regard, among others, I could certainly see an ENTP/ENFP relationship working if the ENTPs Fe is fairly well developed and if the ENFP has a bit of a darker side or a thicker skin. Otherwise, I can't imagine a long-term commitment really being all that feasible, just because of how potentially volatile it could be. Just my thoughts.
 
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