ENFP Flaws and More

uniquegirl said:

I know I'm not an ENFP, but I can't believe how much of this I relate to as an INFJ.
-Get lonely at times (definitely. Even though I'm naturally an introvert and very independent, there are many times I just wished I could find someone who just got me and accepted me for all my strengths and flaws.)
-Romantically intense (Yes. When I love someone, I LOVE them. I can't explain it, but it is a very deep feeling that never goes away over the years.)
-Passionate (Definitely. Many people, especially extroverts, are surprised by my passion. I have known to be very opinionated and persuasive about my ideals. Many times I am able to get people to meet me at least half way.)
-Daydream a lot (If you let me, I'll do it all day. Love my Ni!!!).
-Overly sensitive (Definitely. I can be hurt rather easily. I can take things way too personally and have major difficulty forgiving people. I can easily shut people out if they hurt me.)
-Overly emotional (In public, I can hide my feelings very well to the point where nothing seems to bother me. In private though, everything comes out. Sometimes, even uncontrollably).
-Change moods often (It doesn't take much to make me happy. The flipside though is it doesn't take much to me upset or sad.)
-Happy around people, but mood is neutral/different inside? (It depends. In a more extroverted mood, yes. I love people. In a more introverted, sad, and/or stressed/worried mood, it makes me more lonely and disconnected).
-Laugh a lot (When I'm around amusing people!)
-Over-think things (The Ni).
-Fearful of losing yourself (The Ni has helped me throughout my life in determining who I am without a lot of influence externally. However, the more in tune with my Ni, the more I feel I am losing my connection with others).
-Insecure at some times, but pretty confident at other times? (YES!!! I am very confident in my work ability, academic ability, music ability, volunteer work, and surprisingly new situations. I am not confident in social situations (especially around people I like and or admire) and when I am around people I feel I need to compete with. INFJ's hate being competitive and feeling the need they have to compete).
-Talk about your perspective on the world a lot (Around people I trust.)
-Want to make a change in the world? (When I was a child, I wanted to be a cross between Hillary Clinton, Princess Diana, and Oprah. Yes, a typical INFJ. High expectations!).[/QUOTE

thanks for answering I think all of us, as people, no matter what personality type we are, are similar in many ways,

Click to expand...

pwoita said:

Just hopped over to the ENFP forum because apparently INTJ's fit perfectly with you guys. Hope you don't mind if I come and annoy you with an occasional post :wink:

A lot of these don't look like flaws at all to me.


- I assume lots of ppl get lonely
- God, I love passion (for an idea that is). people who are not passionate about ideas are a waste of time to know imo.
- I'm also over sensitive too. I guess it's weird, but it will help you bond better with partner/friends, which is really important for your own life
- INTJ's LOOOOVE spending enormous amounts of time in our own heads thinking. I wouldn't call it over-thinking though. It helps us understand concepts better, and is so way fun to figure things out and understand them deeply. If you guys are anything like that, I don't see it as a downside at all, and god it is INFINITELY better than idiots who don't spend any time on introspection and thought analysis.

You sound like you are just not yet seeing the upsides to alot of your personality traits. Alot of them look awesome if you ask me.

Click to expand...

The_Wanderer said:

Please note this is being written by an individual who is quite possibly nearing intoxication, therefore might be nonsensical and edited in the future for the sake of clarity.



All the time. I can be in the middle of a group of friends and still feel lonely, because there are very few people I lower my guard too completely.



Yes and funnily enough it's something I don't completely hide. I'll randomly say incredibly intense idealistic and romantic statements in the middle of conversation, and simply pass it off as sarcasm.



Only about a few things. Suffering, inequity, misfortune and such often fuel my passion to help people and to bring forward change. I don't have many buttons that can be pushed, but when people are ignorant of the suffering and misfortune of others, seeing only their problems and no others, I can be pushed into an argument that I don't usually back down from. I have extreme sympathy for underdogs and the downtrodden, and almost always end up siding with the losers because of it.



Yes, around a quarter of my day is daydreaming. Especially if I'm doing monotonous things I dislike.



When I was younger this was true. As I grew older I began to realise that I am far more sensitive than most people, especially most men, and I slowly developed the understanding to notice that most people aren't actively trying to insult or hurt me. Learning this is important, because otherwise the bad sides of extreme sensitivity will outweigh the positives.



Yes. When I was younger I didn't have control over my emotions, and it showed very quickly that I was (and still am) an emotional roller coaster. As I've gotten older and developed my Fi, I've been able to turn my emotions inward, and quite often put on a mask if I'm feeling emotional and I don't want to reveal this weakness to people.



Yep. Hourly, even. Crazy-fun-risk-taking-cheery-happy-clown mode one moment, quiet-deep-feeling-philosopher mode the next. Sometimes swords-drawn-revolutionary-for-a-new-cause mode rears it's head too; the primarily similarity between all my moods is that they're all focused on other people in some way, even if it's abstract.



Strangely enough I usually separate the two. Being around people and being in contact with people typically makes me happy, even if my day has been bad. It's when I'm home alone that my inner melancholic side rises.



Laugh and smile a lot. Almost all of my outward expressions of emotions are positive ones. And people can usually tell when I'm "angry" mode or "thoughtful" mode because I've gone quiet.



Yes. I also tend to go over things in the past, continuously wondering what would have happened if X, or if Y. I also do this for the future, probably more so for the future. I wouldn't call it over thinking, but I'm always interested in the endless possibilities that arise in and from every situation.



I used to have this when I was younger. I don't now, I lost myself for a time and that demon is past me, I know who I am now and I'm not going down that path again. My greatest fear now is not making enough of an impact (on people and on the world at large) before what I have begun to think will be an early death.



As with most facets of my personality (and many ENFP's, I am willing to bet); it sits at one extreme or the other. I can be extremely confident, especially if it's for another person, or being confident in another person. But I myself can be extremely insecure, and rely on the support of others to keep me confident.



Yes. And always ask people of their perspectives on almost everything, and try to see situations and things from a number of different perspectives; often leading to difficulty regarding what perspective, if it has to be just one, is the right one.



Yes. I don't know what change, but I want to make major impact on the world. That desire is second only to my desire to impact on people within the world.



I do. And I wish I knew I was at your age.



This I have too. Unless I develop a deep passion for whatever task I'm doing at the moment, it will usually fall to more attentive and stable people to finish the task I've started.



I have this also. If anything it's only given me a reputation for being (and I quote) "the silly guy who at random times spits out sage-like advice that you'd expect to hear from an experienced and knowledgeable grandpa".



Used to do this. As I've gotten a bit older I've grown more accurate in my intuitive readings into people.



Yes to both of these. Nothing to add.



This is where we differ. I hate being in control. What I want is to be free and always have the option to escape if I need it. Honestly, one of the worst feelings for me is feeling like I have no escape from the current situation, regardless of what that actual situation is. Funnily enough, despite my love for freedom and my need to escape, I deep inside want somebody else to take control, somebody who has the patience, understanding and ability to do what I cannot; but somebody who can also do it with the same level of sensitivity and empathy that I have. Essentially it's a romantic ideal and sadly, she probably doesn't exist.



I do this too, I just want to live it up. Sometimes, deep inside I feel that this is just my way of screaming out for help, but I often think that's just me overthinking things again. I genuinely like extremes and living in the unstable fast lane. I don't think ENFP's are built for longevity or stability.



Not so much my body, but my image. I'm probably more fixated on my appearance and how I present myself to people than 99% of men. I take great care to make sure I always stand out from the crowd, even if I'm in a work uniform that everybody else at a workplace would also wear, you'll be able to spot me because I lean right over the line of work uniform standards.

I mostly wear dark colours, especially blacks, and, ironically, tend to be both unkempt and extremely tidy at the same time (and I have no clue why I do this); for example: one day I'll iron my clothes and wear a black button up shirt and one of my nicer, expensive pairs of jeans, but also not shave or brush my hair that day. The next day I'll wear a decade old pair of faded, torn jeans and a band shirt. Then I'll proceed to shampoo, condition and straighten my hair, shave my beard and apply aftershave.

My concern about self-image stems from a need to be noticed by people (a part of my drive to impact on people I think) and to stand out from the crowd, never being seen to conform to the dull standards of the every man; even though I don't actually look down on people who conform.



Both of these I do.



People say this of me, but it's usually because I don't have much of a filter between what pops into my head and what I say. However, it's usually only on topics or subjects that I don't have a great amount of feeling for. When I develop a passion for something my feelings regarding it tend to be set in stone.

Click to expand...