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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Dearest ENFPs,
I've been reading a few threads on the ENFP forum that mention when an ENFP guy is interested someone they become quiet and reserved, almost mute. I find it very fascinating in that they are gregarious and enthusiastic about connecting with people, and of course this enthusiasm is very genuine. But when it comes to someone they are attracted to/ interested in they become shy. I've experienced this lately with an ENFP I'm curious about, he's very chatty and silly around others, but when he was with me he awkward and was at a loss for words( it's was cute though!) I had to take the initiative to ask him about his life etc.,

I wonder what is going through your pretty ENFP guy head of yours? How come you engage in this behaviour?

ENFP girls please free to chime in as well!

Thanks!

Oh btw ENFPS are awesometastic humans the ones I've seen on here as well the ones I know personally ( I am not sucking up, at least I don't think!) :laughing:
 

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I know what you're talking about. I'm an ENFP but one of my better friends is another guy who claims to be ENFP. Yes, he gets quite withdrawn around girls he's attracted to altogether. One girl in our group he really likes and yes he was very reserved, even though he'd do ANYTHING to be around her. Sadly for him, she got a boyfriend after he had professed his interest a few times (and she denied) he's in a bad funk now.

I myself; however, are NOT like my friend above. Around a girl I like is the only time I purposefully fire up my charm and wit in an attempt to, well, attract obviously. However, that said, I am a very natural speaker and won "best speaker" in my Business Oral communications class I took over the summer. I'm also really confident in who I am and accepting of my (many) faults...My other ENFP friend is not at this place yet, still striving for perfection.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Thank you for input Moby! Ahhhhh so comes down to confidence and accepting your faults. Well as soon as you grasp them the world is yours, well at least the person your keen on. :happy:

P.s. Moby your posts are very insightful.
 

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I would hesitate to call the withdrawal thing diagnostic of ENFP, but it's apparently common enough to become a running theme in several threads.
 
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i'd agree it's one of many ways ENFPs react to someone they're attracted to. i tend to give up on a woman once i start feeling infatuated, it's something i can't help with certain women with certain qualities (INFPs would fit into this category :happy:), so basically i always try to get on friend terms with the person before that happens, in which case my normal instinctually charming self takes over, and i feel in control.
if it doesn't happen, and i wait too long, i can send off some extremely mixed signals from being flirty to being downright shy on bad days around that person.

i think as a general rule, if it's "cute" shyness it probably is for the reason that you're thinking. INFPs aren't so bad at that either :wink:
 

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I'm an ENFP and I do that to girls that I have interest in but don't really know.

I get all shy and stutter like a cute lil introvert and when couple with my randomness it'll make her go

Huh?

But eventually due to my ENFPness I warm up to someone quickly and we talk like there's no tomorrow :wink:
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
I am also curious, do ENFPs mirror their behaviour with person they are interested in? For example they'll act reserved/nervous when the other person is also nervous.
 

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I get extremely quiet and reserved around people I'm interested in. It's something that I've noticed in myself for a while now. I've deduced that it's really my own insecurity taking over.

I start thinking about what I'm going to say before I say it, and for an ENFP, that always spells certain disaster.
 

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Dearest ENFPs,
I've been reading a few threads on the ENFP forum that mention when an ENFP guy is interested someone they become quiet and reserved, almost mute. I find it very fascinating in that they are gregarious and enthusiastic about connecting with people, and of course this enthusiasm is very genuine. But when it comes to someone they are attracted to/ interested in they become shy. I've experienced this lately with an ENFP I'm curious about, he's very chatty and silly around others, but when he was with me he awkward and was at a loss for words( it's was cute though!) I had to take the initiative to ask him about his life etc.,

I wonder what is going through your pretty ENFP guy head of yours? How come you engage in this behaviour?

ENFP girls please free to chime in as well!

Thanks!

Oh btw ENFPS are awesometastic humans the ones I've seen on here as well the ones I know personally ( I am not sucking up, at least I don't think!) :laughing:
Here's what goes through my head:

"Am I overdoing it? I'm obvious... I have to be so obvious to her right now. I'm being way too forward. I should stop. No, really, you're being stupid. Stop being stupid. Just act like you do around everyone else; but then she'll really be onto me! COME ON! You're 20, not 15. You should be forward. But not too forward... Am I being too forward? Does she feel awkward? I feel awkward, so she must feel awkward..."

In any other situation:

"Yay fun people! LET CRAZINESS ENSUE!"
 

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Dearest ENFPs,
I've been reading a few threads on the ENFP forum that mention when an ENFP guy is interested someone they become quiet and reserved, almost mute. I find it very fascinating in that they are gregarious and enthusiastic about connecting with people, and of course this enthusiasm is very genuine. But when it comes to someone they are attracted to/ interested in they become shy. I've experienced this lately with an ENFP I'm curious about, he's very chatty and silly around others, but when he was with me he awkward and was at a loss for words( it's was cute though!) I had to take the initiative to ask him about his life etc.,

I wonder what is going through your pretty ENFP guy head of yours? How come you engage in this behaviour?

ENFP girls please free to chime in as well!

Thanks!

Oh btw ENFPS are awesometastic humans the ones I've seen on here as well the ones I know personally ( I am not sucking up, at least I don't think!) :laughing:

I don't really know, this can happen to me. I can see a girl I'm really interested in and suddenly my usual charm and wit dries up. It's as if everything runs through my mind at the same time and I don't know what to do or say for a few moments. It can be highly disconcerting, but... another reason is that I can easily get... how to put this... over-enthused? easily infatuated? with a woman I like, so I try and force myself to tone down and act "cool." But once I do calm the hell down, I can generally keep a conversation very well... So I don't know, I don't think it's a hard and fast rule, if that makes any sense at all!
 

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Here's what goes through my head:

"Am I overdoing it? I'm obvious... I have to be so obvious to her right now. I'm being way too forward. I should stop. No, really, you're being stupid. Stop being stupid. Just act like you do around everyone else; but then she'll really be onto me! COME ON! You're 20, not 15. You should be forward. But not too forward... Am I being too forward? Does she feel awkward? I feel awkward, so she must feel awkward..."

In any other situation:

"Yay fun people! LET CRAZINESS ENSUE!"
Holy crap!! I thought I was the only one with the "Don't mess this up... crap!! You're messing it up!!!" thoughts that run through my head!! It's good to know I'm not alone!! :happy: :confused:
 

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When an ENFP is attracted to someone (this is all personal opinion, k? :happy:), it's because they see that person as relating to their inner Fi (that soft squishy inside that most people will never see, only blinded by that charismatic and crazy Ne), and Fi really does have no origin. It's all inner gut.

ENFP have conflicting views on everything (because of Fi); which makes them think a bit too much and into themselves (self consciousness - because they relate to Fi!). When the ENFP is quiet around you or awkward, it usually sees you as a certain 'threat' to his Fi! (WARNING! ATTRACTIVE PERSON AHEAD! Though it could mean WARNING! DANGEROUS PERSON AHEAD!)

I don't think Fi can distinguish between the two - both get the heart beating and the brain rushing. It usually is attraction - because Te handles the dangerous people with logic.

Hurry and go after him, then eat him up like a piece of meat! :laughing:
 

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I definitely get shy around girls I'm attracted to.

You guys are right in that we are constantly thinking about what we are going to say next, I continually am thinking "Am I maintaining eye contact to show interest" when I normally would anyway, I just don't want to stuff it up!

I mega have a drop in confidence around them too, which sucks as many people have told me that I'm naturally charming.

How about the type that play hard to get? I HATE it, why can't people just be straightforward? There was one girl I was really interested in for about a year, but she continually played hard to get .. drove me insane, so much that I just gave up in the end.
 

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I'm no guy, but I've definitely experienced this. It's because only then do I start caring what the other person thinks. XD Most of the time I could hardly care what comes out of my mouth! Apparently this works for me, seeing as to how I do have friends, but once I start thinking about it... The ship goes down.

I usually just pretend like I don't like them. As soon as I let myself start thinking about how wonderful their eyes are or whatever, I go mute. Of course, then they think I don't like them because I am overly casual and sometimes appearing spaced out. :dry:
 

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This goes through my mind whenever I talk to her (her as in the person I'm interested in)

Oh, is she looking at me? How is she looking at me? Oh my, how do I look, are my lips okay? Am I staring at her too much to make her uncomfortable? I should raise my eyebrows to acknowledge her, oh no she's looking toward her friend. I must be saying something boring, am I stuttering? Oh no, I lost track of what I've so meticulously planned (funny I never plan conversations) oh no I don't know what to say, Oh my I can't believe the words coming out of my mouth. Hey gotta go uhhh, finish something. I'll just uhhh...
 

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I wonder if this is why I married a woman who I didn't really like that much upon first impression. My first few interactions with her were in my natural state as I didn't see her as dating material. The blue mini-skirt and long conversations came later...

By the time I really got to know her and became interested there wasn't that odd period of figuring out how to converse with her without fucking it up.
 
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