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Discussion Starter #1
Maybe it's my need to be needed that makes people get the wrong idea about what i really think of them...?
I find this is my problem, people tend to think I am sexually attracted to them because i like to get close and I make them feel good about themselves. They tend to get to close and it leads to very inappropriate sexual incounters. I dont know how I do it, and I don't want the attention that way.
I just seem to attract people that way all the time! :laughing:

I can't change the way I am. Does anyone else get that? Or has anyone else met someone like that?
x
 

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I'm sorry I wish I had more advice to offer than this.

If you don't like the way things are, change it. And yes that means change yourself. I know it is easier said than done, but it is possible. Saying "this is the way I am, and I'm never going to change." I've always viewed as an excuse not to change. When you have that kind of view, you are just enabling yourself to get into these kinds of situations.

Wish the best of luck to you.
 

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One of the classic ENFP problems...people taking our "flirts" seriously. -_-

I've had my shares of awkward encounters, people that thought I was dating them, and surprise kisses and gropes. Of course, I'm told I'm pretty bad even for an ENFP, as I do use affection as a sort of a defense mechanism/leverage, but still. ENFPs tendency to to "play-flirt" for mutual fun, act of friendliness, ego boost, compliment, etc. are often taken way more seriously than we intend it to be: This is what gives us the stereotype that we're a flirt, player, manipulator and heart breaker. In my eyes, there is nothing wrong with it, this is how I naturally act, and I am sure that is how you do as well. Buuut...as much as I wish I could nonchalantly and carelessly say, "It's not my fault, it's up to the other party how to take it," I've hurt too many people doing this, and I guess some conforming (I know this is a no-no for most ENFPs) can be useful, lol.
 

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Discussion Starter #4
God I sound like a manipulative cow... It's not intentional. And I always set people right without embarassing them, and I try very hard not to get to close. But people tend to enjoy the feeling that i give them. It's lead to alot of kisses and lunges, but i am not like that I just want to get to know you, I dont want you to kiss me.
 

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I'm actually not that big of a flirt...at least not with people I don't know. I do get a lot of older guys after me, though...older being 50+. It's more than a little creepy. I guess they're just attracted to my happy nature or something?
 

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Sadly it don't work as well for guys, but societally we're supposed to be more forward so I think that's part of it.

Personally, I grew up a nerd, so I was practically introverted all throughout school, and I haven't completely grown into my own skin yet, there's ENFP traits that are still elusive to me. I doubt I'll ever be overly flirty, I still don't think I know how to flirt effectively, and I'm 22 :p


-EDIT-

Also, the title of this thread is so very, very dirty. :D
 

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i definetly have an inclination to do this, but i try to hold back because it feels like im being insincere if i do it excessively..

the flirting issue's been done to death.. you can find the thread somewhere in here
 

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Sigh I agree with ignus

I wish I had this power and I grew up an introverted nerd.

But I know a lady friend who thinks I like her but I dont in a girlfrand way. We dont get any real alone time together so I figure I'm safe. But she is my best friend (thats a lady):tongue:
 

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I'm actually not that big of a flirt...at least not with people I don't know. I do get a lot of older guys after me, though...older being 50+. It's more than a little creepy. I guess they're just attracted to my happy nature or something?
Hahaha, yes Borntorave...It's your "happy nature." I'm betting in real-life you have a youthful and, for lack of a better word, fertile, appearance. Kind of a Ellen Page hard-to-get-ness maybe? Look, some of us guys are deeper than others. Many are very physical and simple, likely those men at 50 is who you're encountering.

To answer the question though, I've gotten sexual interest a lot from women but it's because I come off as very socially intelligent vs. your traditional bookish intelligence. Hey, I grew up in a small private school with a grad class of only six girls and three that any of the 16 guys wanted to date...You had to be charming. A pair of hockey tickets to round 2 of the playoffs (essentially gold, in Canada) didn't hurt. I asked out the "it" girl nobody could get only to have her cancel out on me the day of the date because I bragged a little too much about it. Oh well, live and learn.

I feel hardwired to be naturally flirtatious. It's so hard even on these forums, there are so many gorgeous INFPs/ENFPs it's hard for a guy to know what to do. Sometimes I sit here with a beer and just go from Cebelle post, to Arioche post, to iChelsea post, to SunshineENFP (R.I.P) post, marveling at the beauty of these girls...And forgetting the real reason I came here. LOL...Look it happened to this post, I tried to answer the question and ended up talking about fliriting here. I'm an idiot, I'm gonna go check out another thread.

Now where's MissMaja's last post?
 

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I'm actually not that big of a flirt...at least not with people I don't know. I do get a lot of older guys after me, though...older being 50+. It's more than a little creepy. I guess they're just attracted to my happy nature or something?
I get that too and I think it's because I love to hear people's life stories, so sometimes I'll chat up old dudes (especially eccentric-looking ones) figuring they probably have some interesting stories. They mistake it for sexual interest I guess.

It's a thing girls deal with in general, regardless of personality...Guys, especially after alcohol, are way more likely to read sexual intent into a context when it isn't there than we are. ENFPs probably deal with it more because we're outgoing, and generally interested in people, whereas from the reactions I get it seems like a lot of people only show an interest in others that they intend to try to sleep with.
 

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If you guys are so flirty, do you at least acknowledge it and would be willing to initiate interc... er, the relationship? I've no idea how I'm supposed to meet an ENFP when I'm the master of taking flirty behavior seriously. Even extremely subtle stuff that other guys wouldn't: ie. I can tell when someone is blushing, I can tell when they go weak at the knees, I can tell when their voice is wavering from nervousness and they can't seem to speak english (this one still bothers me because I don't know if I can trust it or not).
 

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Discussion Starter #13
If there's a cheating man or overly shallow man I'll find them. It's a trend that is not one I like, there is something about some women that just attract men like that. I'd like to be one of the lucky ones that always attracts the right type of man. But alas if they are weak to a beutiful young thing that likes to be around people and gives off an overly need to be needed vibe, its probably me.
I am a NICE person, but that tends to lead me off into strange directions. I am impressionable and really nieve. Which is somthing I am loved and hated for.
And it makes me really angry when a man with kids and a wife will proposition me and it makes me feel like shit. And of course I'm not going to sleep with you!:angry:
I just wanna do something nasty to them when I get a man like that. GRrrr
 

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When I saw the title, I was like OOOO somebody wants to make my day! But no, day ruined.
I have been called a flirt and somewhat it's true, I LOVE FLIRTING. And it seems there isn't a noticeable difference between me flirting and me being sociable. But you know what, I'm okay with it.:cool:
 

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If you guys are so flirty, do you at least acknowledge it and would be willing to initiate interc... er, the relationship? I've no idea how I'm supposed to meet an ENFP when I'm the master of taking flirty behavior seriously. Even extremely subtle stuff that other guys wouldn't: ie. I can tell when someone is blushing, I can tell when they go weak at the knees, I can tell when their voice is wavering from nervousness and they can't seem to speak english (this one still bothers me because I don't know if I can trust it or not).
I'll totally initiate "interc" if that's all I want, since I really have nothing to lose and being a girl, have never been rejected in that arena. As for a relationship, I might make my interest very clear if the guy seems incredibly shy, but I generally don't initiate it. I want to make sure someone wants me enough to pursue me, not like they're just going along with things because I made myself so available. I also feel like people need to come into their feelings and figure out what they want on their own, and I don't want to rush someone by proposing official titles (like "boyfriend") and all the rules that go along with them. In fact, my keeping my feelings to myself has caused me problems in the past because I forget that I actually need to share my own feelings, I'm usually more focused on helping the other person coax out his.
 
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