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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Im an ENFP in love with an ISTP. Duality...at its best...sigh...
My ISTJ mom and INFJ dad are furious that their daughter is in love with someone who is far from our culture. Example: Swedish and Somalian. Very very different. Just to give you an idea.

My ISTJ mom doesnt comprehend how I could even fathom the thought of being with someone who is from a completely different background. She's upset, angry, and so much so that shes now...ill.

Im away on vacation racking my brain how Im going to come back and speak to my father about someone I want to marry. Do you know how hard it is to find an ISTP? Let alone an ISTP within my cultural background, lets just say my people are pretty much indigenous and there are NONE in the states, but oh i must marry one, even though they dont even exist! -__-

Im not willing to fight my parents tooth and nail to be able to be with him. I just want to get into my mothers mind for her to understand that this relationship is ideal and perfect for me. Ive never been in love and im 23 yrs old. As an ENFP ive been numerous and ongoing relationships, where ive never been single, but always kept my options open. Right now...i cant see anyone else in this world. I never knew i would feel this way, and I dont want to risk losing all of this. Its unreal to me. Duality is just pure bliss.


So my question is to anyone and everyone who knows the inner workings of an ISTJ who is traditional and unwilling to listen to anything you have to say...How can i present my case! She could care less that I love him and that we are duals, she thinks this personality stuff is crap.

Ive been waiting my whole life for this! For love and understanding, someone who gets me.

I have an ultimatum, my parents or him. Like really? why cant i have both? :)

Anyways! Help! Anyone who knows how i can Logically present this to my mom who wants to kill me :) it would be much appreciated.
 

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Choose him. Your parents will still love you and care for you. They will come around. At this time they will be stubborn and probably won't change. Only time can chip away at their opinions.
 

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MOTM August 2012
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Yea Si+Fe is a bitch if you are someone who likes to explore and find the novelties of life. But I would tell you as my parents told me "its you're life you gotta live with him/her!" Only person you ultimately have to answer to is you. Now I suppose if you're 14 and he's 45 and runs an adult website, that might be different LOL, but at 23 you are the only person who can answer to your decision making.

But as a Fe-type I know how difficult this can be and I definitely have gone through spells of worry about this very same subject, but you're not really responsible for the opinions and attitudes of someone else. Influence what you can, don't worry about what you can't. You only get one shot at life.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Thank you all, I really do agree that it is my life and I know how happy and comfortable I can be in this relationship. I realize that I would be hurting my parents, and they might not talk to me for some time, or they may be disappointed in me....for a very long time. I just feel bad for my dad, im his only daughter....its too much pressure to be honest, to live up to their standards...I want to make them happy and I want them to be proud.I really chose an awesome guy!

Sigh... Im going to try, but im really not a fighter! Although my istp says if i dont stand up for myself now, ill never actually get what i want and need in life....

but im overly sensitive to my istj mom who flips my world upside down with one word.
its unbelieveable how she can make me feel with her words, and i grew up with her! i ended up never actually facing my problems, confrontation, standing up for myself, i have all those issues so im a little too passive....hence the issue here! lol

thank you all, im still thinking about this daily...
 
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