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Discussion Starter #1
I don't get it. Can someone explain to me how the mix works? I've heard of an opposites attract thing, and I've debated it with other INTJs, but I haven't done it with any ENFPs yet.

Maybe it's because both ENFPs and INTJs are completely insane sometimes? :0

Thanks.


Random info: I'm an INTJ, 5w4/6.
 

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in short:

intj: hi.
enfp: hellooo!!!
intj: *stares*
enfp: wow. you're so dark and brooding.
intj: yup.
enfp: tell me about yourself!!!
intj: did you know that houseflies have a lifespan of two weeks?
enfp: ohmygod. that's so interesting. tell me more.
intj: *rolls eyes* you're so easily entertained.
enfp: *swoons*

2 weeks later

intj: oh my god you're so irritating
enfp: NOOO DON'T LEAVE ME YOU ARE SO INTERESTING I LOVE YOUUU
 

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in short:

intj: hi.
enfp: hellooo!!!
intj: *stares*
enfp: wow. you're so dark and brooding.
intj: yup.
enfp: tell me about yourself!!!
intj: did you know that houseflies have a lifespan of two weeks?
enfp: ohmygod. that's so interesting. tell me more.
intj: *rolls eyes* you're so easily entertained.
enfp: *swoons*

2 weeks later

intj: oh my god you're so irritating
enfp: NOOO DON'T LEAVE ME YOU ARE SO INTERESTING I LOVE YOUUU
That was hilarious.:laughing:
 

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Sorry for mentioning my my INTJ for the umpteenth time! Relating is the easiest way for me to get a point across :p



I've sorta noticed the dynamic as:
ENFP: Wow! He's like a version of me if I were more responsible and my thoughts were more organized! How can I be like that? ;D
INTJ: Wow, she's an idealistic, optimistic, emotion-controlled version of me... Should I be scared? *gets attached anyways, although irritated at times*

At least sorta... While there are some similarities somewhere down there in the core, each person brings something different to the table. If you don't adjust a bit for the other person, then yeah, it can get really strained. Both my S.O. (also a 5w4) and I (2w1) have adapted to be able to help and understand each other better, and at times, I still have issues with my rampant emotions at times. Mine is more a personal issue now, so unless it's something where he can really help with the issue, I've been trying to solve things internally. (Part of it is logically knowing he loves me, but my brain malfunctions sometimes when his voice tone doesn't show it. I have always been hypersensitive to registering voice tone, but I'm gettin' better)

All in all, I would say that from the INTJ side, he is really helpful and responsible (helping me with college and job stuff, gets me conventional birthday presents -I was cold one winter since my room was above the garage and he got me a space heater! :D) and witty, and from the ENFP side, I am helpful (in the doting sense, lol) and silly and bring a more optimistic side, and I think I get him to lighten up and feel free to be a little goofy. We both actually do have a lot of views on life in common, despite our quite noticeable differences in personality. (EX- Despite being optimistic, I am not naive to the messed up things in the world, and can empathize frustrated points of view on it)

Next week marks two years. If you are willing to compromise with the other person and do what you need for both people to be in a comfortable position, and respect each others' differences, it can last a while. :D
 

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I read that ENFP and INFJ was a good match?
well from what I saw of the qualities and weaknesses,
I think it would be a great match, or am I wrong?
 

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Discussion Starter #7
I personally find ENFPs fascinating, as long as they have working thought processes. So far, I've found too kinds of ENFPs. The kind that is awesome/crazy, and the kind that just kinda sucks. The first one can be smart or a little dim, but still ossim. The second one is... lame.

Point being, they're pretty ossim, but I don't know many at the moment, but they intrigue me. I need to meet more ENFPs. :sad:
 

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I've sorta noticed the dynamic as:
ENFP: Wow! He's like a version of me if I were more responsible and my thoughts were more organized! How can I be like that? ;D
INTJ: Wow, she's an idealistic, optimistic, emotion-controlled version of me... Should I be scared? *gets attached anyways, although irritated at times*
Thats generally how I see it going with ENFPs and INTJs.

I've noticed only a certain few ENFPs fall for INTJs.
I generally can't stand other ENFPs.

I wonder if thats related..
 

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Discussion Starter #9
Well, I generally find only ENFPs really bring out my energy. I otherwise keep myself to myself for the most part, except when ADHD takes over (which is when I'm really tired). Sucks there aren't many ENFPs that I know. D:
 

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This is how it was in the beginning when I met one of my best friends. It was the first day of high school prepatory summer tutoring, and we were sitting in math class.

INTJ: intellectual, deadpan, witty comment.
ENFP: BWAHAHAHA!!! omgggggg *clutches sides* that was sooooo funnyyyyy... *wheeze wheeze*
INTJ: *glances over, thinking the following but not showing any form of shock on his stoic mask* what's this? This ordinary girl comprehends the complexity and intricacies of my sense of humor? She must be a genius.

_later....


ENFP: What's your name?
INTJ: I'm David.

And thus it began....
 

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I work with one. It was a great balance because we both see the big picture, but I'm all "let's create visions and inspire people to be their best!" and he's all "cutthroat schemer / pragmatist who looks at the bottom line."

He was amazed by my ability to read people and size them up quickly. He took a lot more time to validate his first impressions of people, whereas he trusted mine immediately because they always turned out to be bang-on in the long run.

From him I learned to be more pragmatic/schemey/planful. Not by much, but a little. : )

I also influence him to have a goddamn soul and not the crush the little people who made his career possible. :D Seriously I harassed him about promoting/mentoring a very good employee under him. She's INFP and he was using her to do great operational work and "run the ship" so he could do strategy. That's good balance -- but he owed her IMHO career development opportunities and trust. At first he looked at me like I had lobsters crawling out of my ears, but it must have sunk in because in coming weeks he started giving her more leeway and started incorporating her at a higher status into his long-term "schemes."

That was rewarding. :D

Schemers and idealists need each other.
 

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My INTJ sister and I get along very well. I don't think we've ever argued with each other, even on weeks-long vacations cramped in a van or a tiny hotel room. We share a lot of similar views, but of course, we arrive at them differently. She tends to gravitate toward the more pragmatic and practical solutions while I tend to lean toward the "best case" solutions. We agree with each others' ideas, and we see where the other is coming from, but we have completely different ways of thinking. XD
 
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Umm.. how does it work? :|

Well maybe it's cause INTJs have this cold exterior and ENFPs can break through that. That and we have this cute, happy quality about us that is so "pure.." *cough* I find INTJs simply can't resist the good, idealistic side of us. *grins* ...<3

Maybe it's cause INTJs don't usually understand emotions but ENFPs get them just like *snaps fingers* that. And we help them discover this mysterious thing called "feelings" too. We're so good with that. :)

Or maybe it's cause INTJs seem to very cunning or calculating and ENFPs can actually keep up with their train of thought while inputting their own. I think this strange insightfulness causes INTJs to keep coming back cause ENFPs aren't just the cute fluffballs they appear to be, they're also strangely SMART. (Wow, who would've thunk it.)

I could go on and on.... but honestly, I think I'd prefer an INFJ even though my INTJ friends seem so perfect for me that it's just scary... Basically, I need sunshine too. :| I can't be the giver all the time. I have a rechargeable battery of course, but it'd just be nice to have another (at least slightly) sunshine-y soul next to me... :D
 

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Oh yeah I think I also shocked my boss with my "emotional intelligence". E.g. once a colleague had a total crying freakout right in front of us. He was like o_O but she's ENFX so I knew exactly what she needed. She'd overextended herself again and was feeling overwhelmed and like a failure. Within 5-10 minutes I had her listing her priorities out, stopped crying, and affirmed.

It blew the INTJ's mind because emotions make him want to RUN! : )
 

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Umm.. how does it work? :|

Well maybe it's cause INTJs have this cold exterior and ENFPs can break through that. That and we have this cute, happy quality about us that is so "pure.." *cough* I find INTJs simply can't resist the good, idealistic side of us. *grins* ...<3

Maybe it's cause INTJs don't usually understand emotions but ENFPs get them just like *snaps fingers* that. And we help them discover this mysterious thing called "feelings" too. We're so good with that. :)

Or maybe it's cause INTJs seem to very cunning or calculating and ENFPs can actually keep up with their train of thought while inputting their own. I think this strange insightfulness causes INTJs to keep coming back cause ENFPs aren't just the cute fluffballs they appear to be, they're also strangely SMART. (Wow, who would've thunk it.)
I think it's a mix of these. You're smart enough to keep up or even outpace us, while being so bright and vivacious that it's impossible not to like you. I'm not sure how much it applies to other INTJs, but I've found that I can't connect with someone emotionally until I've established a connection with them on a mental/intellectual level. ENFPs generally manage to tick both boxes.

I could go on and on.... but honestly, I think I'd prefer an INFJ even though my INTJ friends seem so perfect for me that it's just scary... Basically, I need sunshine too. :| I can't be the giver all the time. I have a rechargeable battery of course, but it'd just be nice to have another (at least slightly) sunshine-y soul next to me... :D
INTJs have suns too, except they're more like nuclear reactors and are hidden deep, deep inside. They are there, but unlike you guys not everyone gets to see them - you have to get really, really close to even realise they exist.
 
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