One of my exes was probably an INTP. The relationship was a disaster. He was not very good to me and definitely didn't respect or care about my feelings and emotions...I'm pretty sure I annoyed him, and he annoyed me. Lots of misunderstandings. So there's one example.
I'm sure it could work out for somebody, but I don't think it's a natural match.
My husband is an INTP and i am an ENFP. We met in highschool and clicked right away. I loved how he was into figuring things out and making up theories, and he loved how into his theories I was. haha..
When it comes to music we especially click.. If you read deeply into an INTP profile you'll find that they are melancholy.. They love music that they can get lost in and find that as a way of expression of feeling.. It's about one of the only true forms of feeling that INTP's are comfortable with. (mostly) When it comes to music I am the same way.. When i'm sad, i listen to sad music, when i'm mad, i listen to mad music and so on and so forth.. I don't want anything to be in disharmony, and my INTP is the same way.
He'll talk about his aspirations and thoughts with me and I will motivate him to go after them. I support him and encourage him.
We laugh all the time and often find ourselves being humored by "people watching" we'll watch passers by and try and figure them out. it's quite fun actually!
He tends to keep me grounded and I keep him from being to closed off. I think we balance each other out pretty well.
THOSE ARE THE GOOD THINGS! lol (some of them.. there are definitely more)
Now then.. to talk about all of the hardships that an ENFP will face with an INTP and visa-versa... (and this is from personal experience.. i'm not saying that every intp enfp relationship will have the same problems.. this is just what i've encountered. I've been with my intp for almost 9 years now)
When it comes to expressing my emotions he rarely gives me the response that i'm looking for.. I almost feel like i'm having to force it out of him.. even though i know its in there.. i wish he would show it on the outside more. He does not feel the need to do these things. He figures that I know that he loves me.. Why does he need to keep reminding me!? HAHA the thing is.. you can't argue with them on this. Logic will always win. And even if it doesn't make sense to you, it doesn't have to.. They're right. you need to learn that. hahahaha
My husband knows that I have a hard time with his lack of emotion, and he will occasionally surprise me every once in a while which feels like a very rare and romantic treat. As A matter of fact, we have both been much more understanding of one another since we have gotten to know about ourselves more and educated ourselves on each others personality types.
ONE BIG CLASH!
He requires much more alone time and thinking time than I do. We will argue about something and he will want to think about his reply or literally will make me wait for hours for an apology after doing or saying something that hurts my feelings. This is SO VERY FRUSTRATING! but... He does apologize.
With him it's FACTS FACTS FACTS.. i always hear him saying, "well you show me the facts and what needs to be done and I'll think about it" lol really? I'm going to put all that work into a possibility so you can sleep on it? haha.. If it's not that important, it's not worth it. It's not always this way.. just in some cases where he feels cautious.
Another problem is He creates clutter and I hate cleaning! GO FIGURE... i'm not the best at being organized either, and I do what I have to do to keep the house clean... but i loathe it. lol
If my husband doesn't get the necessary time alone, he will turn into a different human being completely. He'll go from understanding and patient, to quick tempered and judgmental. You INTP needs his space.. I always find myself thinking.. am I smothering him? am i being too mooshie??? should I back off? He may feel that way, but often he wont tell you in fear of creating discord between the two of you. He'd rather keep things peaceful and quiet and let you love on him than hurt your feelings by telling you your bugging him and risk you getting upset with him. Since I know this.. I censor myself and make sure that i'm respecting his boundaries.
At times I feel like i'm doing more work in the relationship than he is. But i'm sure he would deny this and tell you that it's equally hard for both of us. (Because i'm sure he feels as if he's doing most of the work with the relationship too seeing as how he puts up with all of my different ways that are completely too far fetched in his eyes for him to even fathom... lol)
Mostly INTP's want somebody to listen to them, to reflect on their ideas and thoughts, for you to add something interesting and relevant to the picture that they may not have thought about yet, adding excitement. Know when to back off and don't interrupt them when they're talking.. you may as well be saying F you.
Listen to understand, don't listen to reply.. (is what my husband always says)
There are times when I feel he's irrational, but there are also times when I know i'm being irrational. So it evens out. and we love and respect one another very much.
I think I started rambling.. but if I'm the least bit off about anything here please go ahead and correct me. Like I said, i'm speaking from experience with my INTP.
Hope this helps a little.. and if you have ANY questions please feel free to ask me. I'm probably full of answers for you when it comes to intp enfp relationship advice.
Love story? Try abuse! The friend I've had the longest (though not my best friend) is a test-confirmed and proud INTP. But man, he can be a pain in the ass. It's so hard because when he creates these theories by which YOU MUST live your life...He's not trying to be dominating or overpowering, it's him saying he cares about me as a friend. Sadly, it just can't come through that way even though I know logically why he does it.
It was a real problem when we were kids. He didn't understand the meaning of "sensitive" and I never let things roll off my back. A lot of tears and frustration, but we did hold through due to a lot of common interests. Still, if anyone is considering a confirmed INTP as a mate? Take a pass, seriously. Friends at MAX.
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