Glad to hear that I'm not the only one who pretends not to notice when someone likes me (usually because I enjoy the stage of flirting, and my preference to be the "chaser" not the "chased"). Honestly, I think most ENFPs are pretty great at reading people; acting on it or using that knowledge directly, however, is a different matter all together. What to do with the information when you don't know what you want (multiple values, logic versus emotion, etc.)? Or would like to keep the possibility open ended? Or see multiple alternative possibilities? Sometimes, I even end up take one choice half way, decide I was not being genuine, and take a 360 turn.
ENFP are great with people, which makes it so confusing that don't seem able to make tough judgments about people.
For example, they're known for dating crazies, or not knowing when someone likes them.
How does this decision making process occur? My theory is you guys are great "in the moment" with deciphering people, but when you go back to think about people alone your are more or less lost? Do you convince yourself out or into things?
Is this close to the mark?
The personal value based system of Fi tends to naturally make us hate being judged or misunderstood; That fact combined with Ne-Fi's tendency to utilize empathy (instead of sympathy,) may be the cause for our reluctance to pass judgment upon others. I think this can work the other way, however. I've seen some ENFP quickly turn judgmental when the person's action goes directly against their values (the "fiery temper" attributed to those who are more emotional, passionate, and/or dependent on their Fi.)
Also, as for the "idolization," part...at least in my case, it's because I'm prioritizing and focusing my attention on my values instead of the person in front of me. Thus the problems are:
1. The person becomes the part of my "value" and thus in my sphere of protection. I wouldn't want to harm it/insult it.
2. Finding out that what I felt for the person (idolization, or love, or whatever it may be) may be false, or not genuine, is a frightening thought. The staple ENFP "strive for true self" (though it often ironically causes me to hide behind my false self even more).
3. I have high internal locus of control and is seeing the relationship in relative to self (including the other person's perception), but is unwilling to admit it.
4. I like the situation that is being "acted out", love of self who is in "love".
5. Overconfidence and high adaptability gives illusion of the situation being "a trial to over come"
Although these attributes makes relationships often rocky, it's hard to define whether it's "wrong" or "right", nor can I rule out the possibility that this can still be considered love. I do, however, try to refrain from getting into such situation as much as possible because, as exciting as it may be, I doubt it's enjoyable for the people around me.
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And...I know this was for Pink, but
Do you ever think about how you could be hurting someone you know isn't good for you in the long run?
I've done this too many times. Sometimes, it's for experience, sometimes it's me being stubborn. Most of the time, it's me being unreasonably confident about my ability to "make it work". Because I have a hard time understanding and trusting both my own and my partner's feelings/thoughts, indecisiveness and the prospect of countless possibilities kicks in.
I was going to write more, but too tired + my dislike of open audience impersonal conversation's kicking in. Clicking submit before I delete the post! :crazy: