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Hi everyone! A friend of mine introduced me to this website and I figured it would be a great way to get to know more about myself. ENFP is the M-B result I've been getting for the past few years and agree wholeheartedly with that result. I'll describe myself somewhat in order by letters.

I NEED other people in order to feel happy and I hate being alone for too long. I'm comfortable with myself and who I am, but I just always need to express that to those around me. There are some times when I need to be alone, but they are pretty rare and generally only when I've been really hurt by something. I hate dealing with little details and the individual components of ideas and plans...I just want to see it happen! I get frustrated when people are so wrapped up in small stuff that they forget the overall goal.

My F is ridiculously strong. I have a lot of feelings and they weigh heavily on me at all times. I react emotionally which has gotten me into a lot of trouble at times, but my intentions are always good. Like, I could just talk about how flawed my logic can be all day long. For a P, my initial reaction is almost always judgment, but I am easily dissauded from what notions I have originally. I only judge in cases where the wrongs are very obvious. I like making decisions that leave me with some flexibility to change my mind and alter my course based on other ideas and feelings that I have about a situation.

General info about me....
I'm a sociologgy major. I love thinking about what makes society behave in certain ways and how negative social norms can be changed. I recently did a life changing internship at the White House and learned a lot about myself. I love running, but haven't been doing it too much lately. I write but I've had a serious case of writer's block for quite some time and haven't really tackled it yet. I've been in a relationship for a little over a year now with an ISTJ and we're starting to see some severe personality clashes that we're not sure how to deal with. So if anyone has any advice there, I'd appreciate it. Anyway, that's about it for me for now. Feel free to be in contact if you wish. I look forward to interacting with everyone and growing in who I am. And HAPPY HOILDAYS! :)
 

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Hi everyone! A friend of mine introduced me to this website and I figured it would be a great way to get to know more about myself. ENFP is the M-B result I've been getting for the past few years and agree wholeheartedly with that result. I'll describe myself somewhat in order by letters.

I NEED other people in order to feel happy and I hate being alone for too long. I'm comfortable with myself and who I am, but I just always need to express that to those around me. There are some times when I need to be alone, but they are pretty rare and generally only when I've been really hurt by something. I hate dealing with little details and the individual components of ideas and plans...I just want to see it happen! I get frustrated when people are so wrapped up in small stuff that they forget the overall goal.

My F is ridiculously strong. I have a lot of feelings and they weigh heavily on me at all times. I react emotionally which has gotten me into a lot of trouble at times, but my intentions are always good. Like, I could just talk about how flawed my logic can be all day long. For a P, my initial reaction is almost always judgment, but I am easily dissauded from what notions I have originally. I only judge in cases where the wrongs are very obvious. I like making decisions that leave me with some flexibility to change my mind and alter my course based on other ideas and feelings that I have about a situation.

General info about me....
I'm a sociologgy major. I love thinking about what makes society behave in certain ways and how negative social norms can be changed. I recently did a life changing internship at the White House and learned a lot about myself. I love running, but haven't been doing it too much lately. I write but I've had a serious case of writer's block for quite some time and haven't really tackled it yet. I've been in a relationship for a little over a year now with an ISTJ and we're starting to see some severe personality clashes that we're not sure how to deal with. So if anyone has any advice there, I'd appreciate it. Anyway, that's about it for me for now. Feel free to be in contact if you wish. I look forward to interacting with everyone and growing in who I am. And HAPPY HOILDAYS! :)

Greetings vivalamusica! Welcome to PersonalityCafe! Thank you very much for joining our humble little forum. We hope you have a great time with us! Always great to see an ENFP sister join. I am highly looking forward to reading some of your post.:proud:
 

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Welcome to the cafe, a rather textbook ENFP. If you could be specific, what sort of issues are you experiencing with your ISTJ?
 

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Dated an ESTJ, the Extraversion to her was brilliant. However, the T and J really really clashed and rarely complimented my easier going F and P. I dunno I think I hung on there because the attraction was so strong. I've come across a few posts agreeing that STJs are like super-attractive for ENFPs..and it seems to almost always end in tears. But you know everyone is different despite what MB tells us, it's those subtle differnece in character and experience that make us all unique. The big thing I found was the inability of STJs to vocalise feelings, and not being able to communicate openly. I'm not suggesting your relationship is the same but this drove me nuts and I wouldn't want to repeat the experience! If it means alot to you, sit him down and smooth out your differnces. Look up his personality type and see if you can find something that will aid your discussions.
Hope this hepls!
 

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Welcome. :proud:
 

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Goodbye. =D It's bad to have you leave!
 

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Discussion Starter #14
Hey, sorry it took awhile to get back. Specific problems with my ISTJ...he is constantly nitpicking...I hate feeling like we constantly have something we have to "fix" in our relationship. For example, he hates it when I post love song lyrics as my status on facebook without quoting them and mentioning him. He thinks they could be about anyone if I do that. I dunno, just really random stuff. He hates that I don't like planning and prefer spontaneity. And he especially hates all my male friends. He's got trust issues, and we're constantly fighting about those. I want him to see the big pictures, which is that we are overall compatible and just have difference because we are two separate individuals. And he's clingy. I don't know if that's an ISTJ tendency, but he can be super clingy. And it has certainly hindered my socializing, especially this past semester.

So that's the bulk of it, just a lot of picking at small issues.:angry:
 

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Welcome,
I married an ISF/TJ (32 years). My greatest joy and relaxation with an almost opposite is the feeling we have no weaknesses when we are together. Whatever we attempt we will succeed. I feel safe knowing whatever we do we will be okay.
Another point is she pulls me more toward "center" so I'm not always way out in my personality. I've seen couples that get along too well but their lives are messed up because they are so much alike that things don't get done or they can't challenge each other.
Since we are committed to one another we look for commonality. It's easy to find what we don't have in common. We work at looking at what we do have in common, and I don't care what relationship you are in, it's going to be work at some point.
 

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Discussion Starter #16
I agree with that. We do have relative ease completing any tasks because one of us always has the skill set for it.
My issue is with the second part. I've talked to him about looking for things we have in common but he keeps saying we need to look at all these small issues and fix them. I just want us to enjoy each other and not always be poking and prodding a good relationship. He's on the quest to make the perfect relationship and his obsession is kind of scaring me. I'm too laid back to ever attack every single minor detail. I love discovering common interests; I'm tired of arguing about silly things that have no long-term bearing on our relationship.
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I agree with that. We do have relative ease completing any tasks because one of us always has the skill set for it.
My issue is with the second part. I've talked to him about looking for things we have in common but he keeps saying we need to look at all these small issues and fix them. I just want us to enjoy each other and not always be poking and prodding a good relationship. He's on the quest to make the perfect relationship and his obsession is kind of scaring me. I'm too laid back to ever attack every single minor detail. I love discovering common interests; I'm tired of arguing about silly things that have no long-term bearing on our relationship.
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We didn't have that problem. She rarely looked at the small issues except her stressors which I must admit I try to accomodate. We involved ourselves early in community and church activities where we could make a difference and we surrounded ourselves with people trying to make their relationship work. Our involvement, giving our gifts together back to the world is some ways also helped us in our relationship. Projects we both agreed that were important to both of us: Marriage, community, school.
We've slowed down a bit now, but we're looking again to get involved.

I don't know if this fits but the Jan/Feb 2010 edition of Poets and Writers has a story "How to Get Unstuck" that talks about "adaptive versus innovative" styles (pg. 38). Adaptive attempts to fix what they have while innovative looks in new directions. I'm tinkering with this now. It sounds like he's trying to adapt while you're trying to innovate? . . . just a thought.
I hope this helps,
 

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Discussion Starter #18
I really like that idea of getting involved together. We don't have anything like that but I'm sure we could find a common interest (probably something politically oriented) and join forces on it. Quick question though: Have any other ENFPs struggled with fidelity? I will probably just bring this to a relationship thread but I haven't searched to see answers about it yet.
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