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ENFP males: what attracts you and most of all, what maintains your interest?

11807 Views 15 Replies 11 Participants Last post by  sundown

(welcome the ladies as well, looking for the guys to answer this one (so few ENFP guys on the thread). Though I do look forward to your insights as well because I know they'll be just as wonderful!).

Question: what attracts the ENFP male and what maintains your interest in the long run?

An ENFP male confirmed feelings of romantic interest in me and told me tonight that he dreamt about his last day and town and this time he had dreamt he kissed me before he had left from (in reality, we only hugged). :blushed:

Also, what are you general thoughts on the ENFP male and ENFJ female compatibility? Witnessed IRL? The ENFP in question is a low introvert, with moderate N & F functions, and a low P. I am also a low E, with a high N, mid F, and mid to high J. I don't know how much of that really matters....

Thanks fellow ENFs!:happy:
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what about mind games? intellectual matches of wit and calculation to trap the enemy mentally? :p
Depends what you mean by to mind games. If you play with my emotions, even in jest, you have betrayed my trust. I will not be amused, I will feel violated.

If you just mean intellectual debate, well, I am not driven by competition, and using semantics to trap the other person is complete horseshit if you ask me. What I'm looking for in intellectually stimulating conversation is something along the lines of non-confrontational, mutual pursuit of objective or subjective truths that presents new information I have never before considered.

I like expressions of wit, but nowadays I would seldom if ever compete in them, I prefer being on the losing ends of those because then I can be sure we're both enjoying the experience. My entire family has a very Danish sense of humour - super sarcastic and biting, and any meeting of my extended family is one giant battle of wit, but I stopped competing in those years ago (though I was very good at it). I've found that I get alot more enjoyment out of being outmaneuvered in these battles than actually winning them, so there's not much motivation for me to compete from the get-go.

For another ENFP though I imagine it would depend on the style of their sense of humour, and depending on how it's perceived they might see it as criticism and feel hurt by it. I don't know though.

If I am completely outmaneuvered in conversation by someone with a higher level of expertise than me in any field, and the feeling of the conversation is non-competitive but truth-seeking (aka. probably your most interesting courses in college), that is a huge turn on. I've had in the past felt intense feelings of attraction to college profs when they're at the top of their game.

BUT: Bumblyjack is right though, it's more about your ability to have an intelligent discussion about anything, despite your amount of knowledge. Ability to listen, analyze, and think critically. Totally hot.

In regards to maintaining interest, it's about the person's ability to put up with us, yes, but also your ability to fulfill our desire for intense levels of intimacy (not just sex, in case you misunderstand) with our partners.

I will admit I don't understand this idea that we're attracted to Introverts so much. Maybe my tastes are just different, but I am drawn to people with high levels of energy and social ability, and if they match mine, great! If they exceed it, also great! means I have the ability to both take the lead or sit back and chill. I'm not always 'on' and like downtime maybe even more than some ENFP's, so I find 1-on-1 introverts make me work too hard conversationally alot of the time and I get tired of it eventually. I require some reciprocation.

Though, if an introvert simply contributed by posing the right questions, that would probably keep me interested indefinitely. I have an ENTP friend who asks the most interesting questions day and night, and we can talk literally all day without getting bored (he also has his own answers, usually completely different from mine, so super interesting!). I don't think I've met an introverted INTx though, or at least not ended up as friends with one.
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