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Hello~

I am currently confused on my type. I've done very, very extensive research on both types (and others, as well), and I am having a hard time associating myself strongly with certain things about each. Things I see are very prevalent in both types. My best friend for the past several years is an INFJ. She says she sees a lot of ENFJ in my general behavior, speech, past etc... but reading more about each type alienates me from both.

I'm a pretty strong 4w3. I know this is a common type for ENFPs, among others.
This whole P vs J, Fi vs Fe is difficult for me to side with.
Especially when I kind of have different ideas on what both are/could be compared to what I see others often saying.

I find myself to be in conflict with valuing individuality VS. valuing harmony.
Valuing self VS. others.
Being assertive & bold VS.. being agreeable & easy to be around.
Personal identity VS. Collective identity
Alone VS. with others.
It's pretty apparent in a lot of my conflicting behaviors, opinions, attitudes etc...

It makes me think of MBTI / functions etc... to be very unreliable

I have a lot of theories on this I haven't seen people talk about, but I'll make it short by asking:
What do you think some differences between a ENFP 4w3 & an ENFJ 4w3 would be?
 

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I don't know enough about functions (i'm learning lol) to answer your question properly, but I just want to put it here that the ENFJs and ENFPs I know have totally, incredibly different vibes. They don't even have the same functions? ENFP's are Ne, Fi, Te & Si while the ENFJ has Fe, Ni, Se & Ti. I definitely recommend that when you're feeling clear minded you do take the 16personalities test, it's pretty fantastic. I wouldn't rely on using your enneagram to figure out your MBTI type. When it comes to typing yourself you need to be able to be honest. And the way I'd go about it if I had to do it again is discovering my primary and secondary functions. Particularly primary, for example I can confirm I mostly used Fi as a child which is when I was supposedly developing my primary function (AKA- research extroverted feeling and extroverted intuitive children to realize your primary function & confirm your type).

For ENFJs I know, it's like ORGANIZATION (yikes!!!!)... With DREAMS OF HARMONY (Fe) within a close inner circle AND a large outer circle around them. Like the ones i know are charismatic, caring, they take action, they can try too hard to make people feel fab (which is dangerous for them to do all the time) AND their bedrooms are mostly perfectly tidy (at least in my INFP eyes). They're DRAMATIC characters. They ARE assertive, generally from my experience, their people pleasing isn't, like, passive, it's finding what makes people tick & getting them to tell them about it & using that for their future understanding. That sure as hell seems aggressive to me. But it IS people pleasing.

ENFPs don't really mind social harmony like ENFJs, their secondary function being Fi which is more about inner harmony. They're messy, they procrastinate, (however, they're good at what they actually set their mind to). They wanna talk about themselves a bit (much more than the ENFJ who tends to seriously often detract convo from themselves for whatever reason) you know?? The ENFP is all yadayaydaydya about what they've been doing and thinking. Fi helps ENFPs know what their emotions are and means they have pretty strong values most of the time tho not as much as INFPs, while they say that ENFJ's seem to change values depending on the people they're with do to primary working with Fe.
 
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