I'd say he wants to be nurtured, but at the same time loses respect for you when you nurture him too willingly. (Sorry :sad
It happens. You need to let him return to you.
It was just like that with my ENFJ. When we first attracted each other... I could see the pain in her eyes. I wanted to help her love herself again... I told her jokes, complimented her, and urged her to fight for her dreams.
She pulled away pretty harshly. The more I reached out to her when she did this, the more she withdrew.
In the end, I broke up with her because it was like we weren't even dating anymore. It was only when I became independent and stopped reaching out that she reached out to me and told me how much she missed me.
But by then I had already started a new relationship. She had an emotional breakdown, became enraged and tried to ruin my reputation. I was astounded that she'd cared so much... because to the end of our relationship, all she'd done is shoo me away.
When her revenge failed (I explained everything frankly to the people she was trying to turn against me), she drank by herself, locked in her house for weeks. Complaining what a "wuss" I was.
ENFJs... not my favorite type after that. In fact... I don't think I'll be able to trust another ENFJ for quite some time. If you want to learn from my mistake... give your man his alone time. Impress him with your independence... And be the same wonderful girl that he was initially attracted to whenever he returns.