[Tridentus]

everyone knows ENFPs are dripping with game.. it's just a pity that it's always accidental and often not when you're actually trying :crying:

but i wanna know how ENFPs attract their special someone into their lives.. when it's intentional. from my own experimenting and what i've seen from others there are a few different ways in which guys attract women-

being composed- the kind of guy who takes everything at his own pace, and gives off that sense of mystery
being witty- generally being hilarious, coming up with a joke for every situation- although i've met some guys who only do "guy funny" not "girl funny" which obviously doesn't work.
being enthusiastic/eccentric- i get the feeling a lot of ENFPs will be this one. i don't overdo this one but i've seen people who do and have it work.
teasing- the easiest way in my opinion, just tease about something inconsequential, but with a smile on your face.
being adventurous- just being fun, starting adventures
being nice- not being a "nice guy" mind, being nice on your own terms, and not even to her especially. being approachable is a better term.
being romantic- having your head in the clouds attracts other people who also have their heads in the clouds
being "normal"- just being regular, making regular jokes, being a regular person
being popular- knowing loads of people. being the guy who can introduce her to loads of people.

there are a few things i've seen other people do which seems to work-

being a manslut- just coming onto people all the time. this obviously works for insecure women/ sluts, which a lot of girls in my town are.. :bored:
doing put downs- like teasing but taking it further, putting other people, including her, down all the time.
being badass- getting in fights, being all testosterony all of the time :angry:
being overly touchy feely very early on- some girls seem to like that.
being drunk/having them drunk.

what sort of personality do you usually have which attracts women? females are welcome to make their offerings too roud:
(being humble isn't easy in this thread, so new rule: you don't have to be.)

 

[pinkrasputin]

I become a little bit indifferent. But I still manage to put myself in the right place at the right time. However, even though I am "near" him, I am probably ignoring him.

There is someone I am a bit interested in. I've already stalked him on Facebook. I would never approach him directly, but I will make sure I am somewhere near him in real life. I become very social with others around him. I make it easy for him to approach me.

With this guy, it seems like I have a lot of friends around him. This is good. I will contact them more. If there is a party, I probably will say something completely "out there" and he will overhear. He will laugh and think it's funny. He will think I'm crazy and have no choice but to get to know me. But that is also the point where I tend to get a bit nervous. So I may just pull away so I can still observe him objectively. Oh yeah, and did I mention the red dress that fits me like a glove with my stiletto heels that I would be wearing to this party? And if anyone including him were to pay a compliment on my outfit, I would respond "What? This little old thing? Why thank you. " Haha. I sooo wore it for him to notice.

I've already caught his eye attention once.

I don't use "game", I just know when I like someone and have a pretty good idea who I think will reciprocate.

I pretty much think I just become a social butterfly with everyone except him. But that is my way of saying "I'm here. Please come and get me". Lol.

 

[Frowzle]

I don't use "game", I just know when I like someone and have a pretty good idea who I think will reciprocate.

I pretty much think I just become a social butterfly with everyone except him. But that is my way of saying "I'm here. Please come and get me". Lol.

Agreed!
actually, a few of my friends got into "game." as in started to define themselves as "pickup artists," and read books and blogs, and walked around, consciously perfecting their struts, and tried to act in a very stereotypical super suave way.
and they looked like tools. and everybody knew it except for them, and extremely insecure girls.
That being said, the idea of perfecting the "skill" of attracting women seems alluring to any straight man.
and from the sounds of things you're looking to figure out a persona that "best attracts women."
but please don't waste any time on it.
it is bullshit.
cliched as it is, just be yourself. besides, you won't feel any better about yourself if you get a girl by acting like someone else.

that being said...
i got game until i'm around someone i actually like. then, i get really malleable. no direction at all. if they get flirty, i'll get flirty. and if they get cold and disconnected, so will i. and i definitely won't approach first.
which sucks, because being a(n outgoing) guy, i'm expected to.

 

[pinkrasputin]

Agreed!
actually, a few of my friends got into "game." as in started to define themselves as "pickup artists," and read books and blogs, and walked around, consciously perfecting their struts, and tried to act in a very stereotypical super suave way.
and they looked like tools. and everybody knew it except for them, and extremely insecure girls.
That being said, the idea of perfecting the "skill" of attracting women seems alluring to any straight man.
and from the sounds of things you're looking to figure out a persona that "best attracts women."
but please don't waste any time on it.
it is bullshit.
cliched as it is, just be yourself. besides, you won't feel any better about yourself if you get a girl by acting like someone else.

that being said...
i got game until i'm around someone i actually like. then, i get really malleable. no direction at all. if they get flirty, i'll get flirty. and if they get cold and disconnected, so will i. and i definitely won't approach first.
which sucks, because being a(n outgoing) guy, i'm expected to.

Hahaha! I NEVER approach men. This is a hard core rule of mine. But I will share with you one exception. Once upon a time, many moons ago, there was this ENFP male that kept taking me to movies and never made a pass at me. I had no idea if he was gay or not. He frustrated the hell out of me though and I was crushing pretty hard.

Then finally, one day after he dropped me off at my place again with out a kiss, I flipped out. I remember it as something similar to clubbing him, knocking him out, and finally dragging him back to my place. I was tired of waiting for him.

However, the reality may have been less dramatic. It was probably more like this: I remember being frustrated that he was leaving again without making a move. I do remember losing it and shouting "WHAT THE HELL ARE WE DOING????!!!" and then that's when he acted all innocent and shocked and said, "What? Would you like to date me?" And immediately I responded with a tinge of disgust and said "NO!" And then I paused and said meekly, "yes" :sad: The he laughed at me. And I was like >>>>> :angry: So then he kissed me and I was like >>> :blushed: And then we eventually got engaged and moved in together and played house like it was a castle in Fairytale Land.

But my point was, I remember having to knock this ENFP dude over the head. Wtf? Why? To this day, we are still friends. But still, why does he like me making the first move????? Why, why, why? I know he wants it so why does he act all shocked when it happens? Why? Why doesn't he go for things more aggressively? This is a protective thing isn't it? It's also avoiding accountability. Is this why you do it? You fear rejection?

Sorry, you're now his proxy and I want answers. :angry:
:laughing:

 

[Frowzle]

Hahaha! I NEVER approach men. This is a hard core rule of mine. But I will share with you one exception. Once upon a time, many moons ago, there was this ENFP male that kept taking me to movies and never made a pass at me. I had no idea if he was gay or not. He frustrated the hell out of me though and I was crushing pretty hard.

Then finally, one day after he dropped me off at my place again with out a kiss, I flipped out. I remember it as something similar to clubbing him, knocking him out, and finally dragging him back to my place. I was tired of waiting for him.

However, the reality may have been less dramatic. It was probably more like this: I remember being frustrated that he was leaving again without making a move. I do remember losing it and shouting "WHAT THE HELL ARE WE DOING????!!!" and then that's when he acted all innocent and shocked and said, "What? Would you like to date me?" And immediately I responded with a tinge of disgust and said "NO!" And then I paused and said meekly, "yes" :sad: The he laughed at me. And I was like >>>>> :angry: So then he kissed me and I was like >>> :blushed: And then we eventually got engaged and moved in together and played house like it was a castle in Fairytale Land.

But my point was, I remember having to knock this ENFP dude over the head. Wtf? Why? To this day, we are still friends. But still, why does he like me making the first move????? Why, why, why? I know he wants it so why does he act all shocked when it happens? Why? Why doesn't he go for things more aggressively? This is a protective thing isn't it? It's also avoiding accountability. Is this why you do it? You fear rejection?

Sorry, you're now his proxy and I want answers. :angry:
:laughing:

ahahah.
well, the fact that you were willing to make the first move gives me hope. =]

but yeah, its something i need to work on.

ima try to explain logically... im not good at that...

k so basically i have the utmost confidence when i'm with people i could care less about. and the people i actually like come by infrequently. so when they do i get nervous. its a bigger deal. and i don't want to take any risks.
of course it's in my nature to take risks, so i try just acting natural... but naturally i'm a little scared. so i'm hesitant. so i don't really do anything without prompting.
with enough time, i'd make a move.
...probably. =\

you know what though. i have to start taking charge. being aggressive. and other testosterone fueled endeavors.
there's this girl, see...
except i dont really talk to her. we've flirted hardcore whenever we had the chance, and i should have made a move by now. although, it was spread out over about a year.
she made a clear pass at me, but i had a girlfriend. WITH me, actually.
i dont know if she even remembers me now though..

saw her last week, and i think i have a thing for her.
but GOD DAMN SHIT i haven't had a crush in like a year. so this is a huge deal. i'm basically risking my very soul.
but imma do it! i need to. and i'll report back. eventually. might not see her for a couple weeks.

 

[Tridentus]

Agreed!
actually, a few of my friends got into "game." as in started to define themselves as "pickup artists," and read books and blogs, and walked around, consciously perfecting their struts, and tried to act in a very stereotypical super suave way.
and they looked like tools. and everybody knew it except for them, and extremely insecure girls.
That being said, the idea of perfecting the "skill" of attracting women seems alluring to any straight man.
and from the sounds of things you're looking to figure out a persona that "best attracts women."
but please don't waste any time on it.
it is bullshit.
cliched as it is, just be yourself. besides, you won't feel any better about yourself if you get a girl by acting like someone else.

that being said...
i got game until i'm around someone i actually like. then, i get really malleable. no direction at all. if they get flirty, i'll get flirty. and if they get cold and disconnected, so will i. and i definitely won't approach first.
which sucks, because being a(n outgoing) guy, i'm expected to.

i think this thread came across wrong.. "game" isn't something you read out of some book, it's whatever you do/ try to come across as whenever you're trying to attract someone, and comes naturally. ok you can learn it, but only if you "get" it.

i agree with you and disagree with you on this one. i think i know exactly what kind of guys your friends are, and there's a difference between "natural" game and "fake" game. basically your friends don't "get" it, they don't understand, they just follow some things on an instruction manual written by someone who was looking to profit off them.. in fact that ISNT game.
i'm not making out that i'm a pickup artist by any means, but i know how to get girls attracted to me when i like them.. and pink actually raised something during her ridiculously "ENFP" offering laughing i always get this feeling that i know who'll reciprocate, and it naturally leads on from there.
but being the natural psychologist i am, i just like to look at my behaviours and the behaviours of others, and i've noticed that different behaviours attract different people, so as a social experiment (not as a "try to be a pickup artist" experiment) i tried on different behaviours (being the ENFP i am, this is easy for me to appear natural)- and they do attract differing girls in a differing way.
but i have a "natural" style, which of course works best in attracting women who are my type, and i was curious about what other ENFPs do to attract others.

haha where's moby when you need him?

 

[Frowzle]

i think this thread came across wrong.. "game" isn't something you read out of some book, it's whatever you do/ try to come across as whenever you're trying to attract someone, and comes naturally. ok you can learn it, but only if you "get" it.

Ahah, sorry, my bad. that word gets thrown around, and seeing the RIDICULOUS things it can mean...

well yeah, let's see. practical stuff. despite my ineptitude when i'm around girls i like, i used to do the whole random sex thing. sooo...

confidence is huge. you can honestly say anything to a girl with a non-creepy smile.
girls like good guys. they despise nice guys.
a good guy won't treat a girl like shit, because he's not a dick. he doesn't worry over everything that happens. he doesn't make a big effort to get or keep her attention, and she has to be just as involved for a conversation to flow
a nice guy will agree with everything that comes out of a girl's mouth, completely abandon any personality, and hope it gets them laid. they'll talk incessantly, throwing fact after fact about themselves at her in the hopes that one of them will spark a connection.

that being said, you don't really have to be a decent human being at all.
Especially if you're just hooking up.
i met a girl at a party, texted her, got her to meet me at this secluded bridge when the sun was going down,
we said hi and all that, some small talk,

and then i asked "what do you think about sex in public?"
and that went in a good direction pretty quickly. :mellow:

she had a boyfriend too actually. i went through an evil phase.

 

[pinkrasputin]

Ahah, sorry, my bad. that word gets thrown around, and seeing the RIDICULOUS things it can mean...

well yeah, let's see. practical stuff. despite my ineptitude when i'm around girls i like, i used to do the whole random sex thing. sooo...

confidence is huge. you can honestly say anything to a girl with a non-creepy smile.
girls like good guys. they despise nice guys.
a good guy won't treat a girl like shit, because he's not a dick. he doesn't worry over everything that happens. he doesn't make a big effort to get or keep her attention, and she has to be just as involved for a conversation to flow
a nice guy will agree with everything that comes out of a girl's mouth, completely abandon any personality, and hope it gets them laid. they'll talk incessantly, throwing fact after fact about themselves at her in the hopes that one of them will spark a connection.

that being said, you don't really have to be a decent human being at all.
Especially if you're just hooking up.
i met a girl at a party, texted her, got her to meet me at this secluded bridge when the sun was going down,
we said hi and all that, some small talk,

and then i asked "what do you think about sex in public?"
and that went in a good direction pretty quickly. :mellow:

she had a boyfriend too actually. i went through an evil phase.

From what I've noticed, ENFP men require their own separate Brag thread on the forum. Some place where they can list their sexual conquests. Apparently, this is becoming increasingly important. As they tend to use all threads to list their *ahem* "accomplishments". I think I shall make a spin off thread and create a happy place for you all to go.

YOU GOTTA HAVE GAME:

 

[Tridentus]

From what I've noticed, ENFP men require their own separate Brag thread on the forum. Some place where they can list their sexual conquests. Apparently, this is becoming increasingly important. As they tend to use all threads to list their *ahem* "accomplishments". I think I shall make a spin off thread and create a happy place for you all to go.

actually i don't think random hooking up is something to be all that proud of.. you don't have to try very hard, just be willing, especially in my town and especially after a few drinks. that would be under "manslut". my friends will come back to me with stories about being drunk and getting with someone they didn't know very well, and i get that burning feeling inside which is my Fi telling me it's wrong in some way. although even one of THEM said they respect me for having some principle.

this isn't really how i was hoping the thread would go.. i hoped i could find out what attributes other ENFPs naturally use when trying to attract someone. :crying:

 

[limelight3]

ummm I don't know about having "game" in a dating sense, but I DEFINITELY know how to work people. It's really bad actually. I use it in job interviews....I can get pretty much any job I want as long as I make it to the interview stage because I know how to make people like me and be endeared to me. I TRY my best not to use it on people I like, because I feel like that's kinda manipulative and not a good way to start a relationship. yeah. :bored:

So I suppose if I like someone, I will actually back off a bit. I want you to come to me, without me being all forceful and stuff.

 

[weka]

ummm I don't know about having "game" in a dating sense, but I DEFINITELY know how to work people. It's really bad actually. I use it in job interviews....I can get pretty much any job I want as long as I make it to the interview stage because I know how to make people like me and be endeared to me. I TRY my best not to use it on people I like, because I feel like that's kinda manipulative and not a good way to start a relationship. yeah. :bored:

So I suppose if I like someone, I will actually back off a bit. I want you to come to me, without me being all forceful and stuff.

Bang on the money there. Using it to get jobs is a recipe for disaster in the long term.

As for being on the game? Share something. Or do something together. Something mundane or commonplace. Give them something for free. It's always for free. You get the moment that everyone else doesn't value.

 

[pinkrasputin]

Bang on the money there. Using it to get jobs is a recipe for disaster in the long term.

I don't think using it for getting jobs is a recipe for disaster at all. It's a vehicle that gets us where we are supposed to be. Not many people know how to market themselves effectively. People will even hire someone to learn how to do this. Kudos to us for being our own best managers and putting our best selves forward.

Yeah, I pretty much know once people meet me for an interview, I'm "in".

There is nothing wrong with having the type of personality that sets us apart from the rest. :wink:

 

[weka]

I don't think using it for getting jobs is a recipe for disaster at all. It's a vehicle that gets us where we are supposed to be. Not many people know how to market themselves effectively. People will even hire someone to learn how to do this. Kudos to us for being our own best managers and putting our best selves forward.

Yeah, I pretty much know once people meet me for an interview, I'm "in".

There is nothing wrong with having the type of personality that sets us apart from the rest. :wink:

So... what's the secret then? In avoiding the inevitable moment when the boss finds out you're not up all the time, not a super hero, not a wizard of political game? One of my biggest problems is that employers have all kinds of expectations of me if I make them feel good once. They expect it everyday,but in an even better form, then they expect me to be exactly like them and still be up and make everyone else feel great too, to be perfect and then improve from there. :crazy: The reality is just too much for them to bear and suddenly it's all my doing and I'm like woooh back the hell up there corky, I'm human too.

 

[AgAu]

So... what's the secret then? In avoiding the inevitable moment when the boss finds out you're not up all the time, not a super hero, not a wizard of political game? One of my biggest problems is that employers have all kinds of expectations of me if I make them feel good once. They expect it everyday,but in an even better form, then they expect me to be exactly like them and still be up and make everyone else feel great too, to be perfect and then improve from there. :crazy: The reality is just too much for them to bear and suddenly it's all my doing and I'm like woooh back the hell up there corky, I'm human too.

That's why you need to start lining up the NEXT job as soon as you land this one. Seriously, no joke.

 

[Danse Macabre]

So... what's the secret then? In avoiding the inevitable moment when the boss finds out you're not up all the time, not a super hero, not a wizard of political game?

WHAT!? WHO SAYS I'M NOT! I AM!!! I AM!!!

I definitely accidentally play the game with everyone except people I actually like like. Apparently, like a lot of ENFPs... when I actually like someone, I get all shy and sensitive around them.

 

[Tridentus]

That's why you need to start lining up the NEXT job as soon as you land this one. Seriously, no joke.

who says you can't stereotype mbti types? :laughing:

 

[Paradox1987]

If there's a girl I really like, I become seriously uncertain all of a sudden. I'm normally a very outgoing guy, but because when I like someone I can get so infatuated, it's almost as if I have too much to say and just 'know' I'll come on wayyyy too strong, so I try and engage her into making the 1st move so that I don't make an utter ass of myself. I guess it's a fundamental fear of rejection, because the girls I don't want to get with I can keep in stitches and I've been told repeatedly by many (non ENFP female friends, and a fair few non ENFP male friends) that I give the best advice because I'm so non-judgmental, happy to listen and empathetic. But, then again, there's also the fact that I have a habit of making exceptionally bad life choices with women!! I don't know what happens, because I can be the life and soul of a party, throwing the wit out there, bossing conversation, or flit from group to group and I can charm my friends in joining me in activities they absolutely hate... and yet put the girl of my dreams in front of me and all my brain will shriek through my head is "easy!! do NOT mess this up... Oh crap, don't come on too strong, don't do anything silly now" so I end up second guessing my EVERY act...

 

[Thrifty Walrus]

I don't think it's that ENFP's are "dripping with game" so much that they use it. There are many other types with "game", I myself could have as much game as I want, I just don't choose to use it. I know how that sounds but really, it isn't that hard to "play the game", actually it's kind of pathetically easy

 

[Tridentus]

If there's a girl I really like, I become seriously uncertain all of a sudden. I'm normally a very outgoing guy, but because when I like someone I can get so infatuated, it's almost as if I have too much to say and just 'know' I'll come on wayyyy too strong,

this is so true, and looking around this is definitely an ENFP "thing" i reckon. this is why i will always try to make a move straight away- luckily i have an uncanny sense for who ill be attracted to straight off, and i need it cos i can be smooth as hell when there doesn't seem as much on the line, but there's an infatuation timer which goes off after a couple of weeks knowing the person which turns me into a shy wreck.

 

[Hardstyler]

I don't play the game the game plays me