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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
OK, I know we all have our days and our moments. But I was wondering if ENFPs are generally self-confident. I used to (and to an extent, still do) have the weirdest self-esteem in the world. At high school I was more bookish than sporty, which proved to be a bit hellish sometimes, but even then, I'd always take comfort in the fact that I was pretty damned good academically. Therefore, anyone giving me hell wasn't gonna be able to do it for long. I'm also hugely sarcastic and passionate, so anyone that does come forward will find that although I'm not a violent person at all, I will bite back if you exhaust my (admittedly very long and slow burning) fuse.

Over the years though, I really feel I have come into my own. I am happy with who I am, I honestly believe that no matter what happens, I'll be alright. At the moment, e.g. I am looking for a full time job as a barrister. Instead I'm volunteering and CV building for that very goal. Even if I fail to become a barrister full time though, I honestly feel I'll get a job and succeed irrespective. I've never been called arrogant, but I know that I can be very confident and a little cocky at times. I'm also very open, because I'm at peace with who I am, if that makes any sense. Does this type of confidence and quiet calm pervade over many ENFP lives (especially after years and years of introspection)??
 
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This one's a hard one to pin down. On the one hand I'm very optimistic about everything and know everything will be ok, even while I'm walking through the fires of hell. On the other hand I struggle a lot with self esteem, it usually fluctuates between low when I feel that I'm not doing or accomplishing the goals I have, to medium when I feel I'm on the right track. Every now and then it gets to the high point when I know I'm doing exactly what I'm supposed to be doing at exactly the right time, but high's pretty rare.

The problem is, at the same time all of this is going on when I actually set my mind to doing something and do it I have a really high level of self confidence. I always know if I actually get off my lazy, low self esteemed ass and do something about something I'll get it done. No doubt in my mind. It's just getting to the point I actually get off my ass that's the problem.
 

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I have a pretty low self-esteem, I'm always doubting myself.
That being said though, I think the biggest enemy in myself as many of my friends, even the head lecturer at my College are really confident and encouraging in my abilities.

I mean I may come across as confident because I like to muck around, make a fool of myself and make others feel good about themselves, but when it comes down to it, I often question whether I'm good enough at most things.
 

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Totally sounds like me Tal!
 

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Discussion Starter #5
I mean I may come across as confident because I like to muck around, make a fool of myself and make others feel good about themselves, but when it comes down to it, I often question whether I'm good enough at most things.
I 100% get that! I used to appear more confident than I ever was. In my moments, I am always questioning my own ability to succeed in what I want to succeed in and generally succumb to thoughts like "I procrastinate too much" (which I do) and can really attack my own personality. But then again, when I start to play the balancing game, on balance, I feel more at peace. If I find the right drive/incentive, I will not give in until the goal I set has been reached, but until then I am pretty ambiguous with achievements. I just feel that now, in the end, I'll be able to wing it through life, and probably do relatively well... However, I owe a lot of this confidence and calm to certain people who have really helped me come into my own.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
This one's a hard one to pin down. On the one hand I'm very optimistic about everything and know everything will be ok, even while I'm walking through the fires of hell. On the other hand I struggle a lot with self esteem, it usually fluctuates between low when I feel that I'm not doing or accomplishing the goals I have, to medium when I feel I'm on the right track. Every now and then it gets to the high point when I know I'm doing exactly what I'm supposed to be doing at exactly the right time, but high's pretty rare.

The problem is, at the same time all of this is going on when I actually set my mind to doing something and do it I have a really high level of self confidence. I always know if I actually get off my lazy, low self esteemed ass and do something about something I'll get it done. No doubt in my mind. It's just getting to the point I actually get off my ass that's the problem.
Wow... that post was epic Tal! I completely relate to that. My self-esteem can rock around, but my confidence and optimism is there. Sometimes I wonder if it's misplaced, but thanks for that! It's nice to know that I'm not the only one :happy::happy:
 
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My self confidence has SOARED the older I get... I have always been upbeat and charming, but now!!!! I am unstoppable
I find the new experiences thrill me and look forward to learning all I can about lots of different things... so much so
that I almost burn out.
Again, like Tal... getting off my ASS to get started is the hardest part of anything.
We are the supreme procrastinators.... truly!!!:laughing:
 

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I agree! I am having this kind of confidence battle within me. I'm very confident in my personality and go around flaunting it, especially when someone asks me, but I still feel kind of uncomfortable with my appearance and physical self. As an INFP, I've been working at it for so long that I am starting to show ENFP-like signs, but confidence still doesn't come naturally for me (yet, maybe?) xP

I'm another procrastinator to add to the list and I change interests a lot. I try to focus on whatever it is as much as I can and tell myself to go back to it but if I lose interest, I need to wait until I get my interest back or it's just a chore of sorts. D;
 

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I have a pretty low self-esteem, I'm always doubting myself.
That being said though, I think the biggest enemy in myself as many of my friends, even the head lecturer at my College are really confident and encouraging in my abilities.

I mean I may come across as confident because I like to muck around, make a fool of myself and make others feel good about themselves, but when it comes down to it, I often question whether I'm good enough at most things.
Story of my life. Except for the "coming across as confident" part. :happy:
 

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I have really high self-esteem. It feeds from me being successful in life, thus far, helping others succeed when I'm in a leadership position. It's led to a lot of success at school, work, and jobs. In general, I also have a large and very supportive social structure in my small town that encourages me. When an ENFP succeeds at many things, AND is genuinely loved that is a special privilege and I'd be hard pressed to find any ENFP who couldn't soar if given my lucky circumstances. I'm not rich (yet), or married, but I have the luxury of a stable life and many great people surrounding me. I hope ya'll will have this or get it soon!
 

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Over the years though, I really feel I have come into my own. I am happy with who I am, I honestly believe that no matter what happens, I'll be alright.
Sounds like me! It seems like the older I get the more confident I become. I think that ENFPs are definitely optimistic and want to be confident and happy, but because they're so open to multiple possible interpretations of situations, I think it's very easy for them to have doubts. They'll see both sides to the story - good and bad - so if they have had a history of bad experiences, they might default on that. For me, it's definitely helped to simply remind myself that what happened is what happened, not what might have or what should have. As is my theme in life, when I think about things I generally over-analyze and make them into something they're not, which then can destroy my confidence (or also over-inflate it) and that's what messes me up.
 

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OK, I know we all have our days and our moments. But I was wondering if ENFPs are generally self-confident. I used to (and to an extent, still do) have the weirdest self-esteem in the world. At high school I was more bookish than sporty, which proved to be a bit hellish sometimes, but even then, I'd always take comfort in the fact that I was pretty damned good academically. Therefore, anyone giving me hell wasn't gonna be able to do it for long. I'm also hugely sarcastic and passionate, so anyone that does come forward will find that although I'm not a violent person at all, I will bite back if you exhaust my (admittedly very long and slow burning) fuse.

Over the years though, I really feel I have come into my own. I am happy with who I am, I honestly believe that no matter what happens, I'll be alright. At the moment, e.g. I am looking for a full time job as a barrister. Instead I'm volunteering and CV building for that very goal. Even if I fail to become a barrister full time though, I honestly feel I'll get a job and succeed irrespective. I've never been called arrogant, but I know that I can be very confident and a little cocky at times. I'm also very open, because I'm at peace with who I am, if that makes any sense. Does this type of confidence and quiet calm pervade over many ENFP lives (especially after years and years of introspection)??
do you know what- i don't know you from adam, this is the first post of yours i can remember reading, and yet i believe every word you say about how you feel things will work out, because based on the fact that you're an ENFP, and based on how you described that i think i know exactly what feeling you're talking about and that faith is the centre of an ENFP's apparent confidence. in my experience if i truly believe and feel things will work out a certain way, they work out exactly how i imagine. powerful shit. then again, you can't just "try" to believe something will happen, it has to be a genuine feeling.
 

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Discussion Starter #13
you can't just "try" to believe something will happen, it has to be a genuine feeling.
I totally agree. I've tried to con myself into the belief that everything will work out as I want, and it's failed. But when I get the feeling that no matter what obstacle falls in my path, I will get around it because I know my own ability levels. I don't ever feel incapable in that sense. But yeah, I agree that you have to feel it and know it....
 

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This one's a hard one to pin down. On the one hand I'm very optimistic about everything and know everything will be ok, even while I'm walking through the fires of hell. On the other hand I struggle a lot with self esteem, it usually fluctuates between low when I feel that I'm not doing or accomplishing the goals I have, to medium when I feel I'm on the right track. Every now and then it gets to the high point when I know I'm doing exactly what I'm supposed to be doing at exactly the right time, but high's pretty rare.

The problem is, at the same time all of this is going on when I actually set my mind to doing something and do it I have a really high level of self confidence. I always know if I actually get off my lazy, low self esteemed ass and do something about something I'll get it done. No doubt in my mind. It's just getting to the point I actually get off my ass that's the problem.
Oh my goodness, you nailed it Tal....:mellow: AHH!

I feel like my self-esteem is such a delicate and extreme thing. I can get so happy people question my sobriety or literally ask me how many pills I've railed/bowls I've snapped, and I can hit a low so low that I feel like my soul is dying & i got the life sucked out of me. But somehow, there's usually always an underlying affirmation in myself that I know I will always be me & I'm capable C:

I tend to think very paradoxically, so when i feel down or upset about something, i try to ration it out in my head & tell myself that there's always another side & i'm still myself :D Which usually works. But it gets tiring for sure D:
Also, when unfortunate situations happen, I feel like i have to cheer up & maintain my air of "confident happiness" cause if i don't, then everyone around me will get sad too & it'd make me sick being the mood-killer that went around spreading negative energy D: But I'd hate to be fake-happy, that's even worse. So it's like a process I have to go through all the time, trying to genuinely remind myself the reasons i have to be happy & self-satisfied & why I should be.
It's hard, cause I've been told on several occassions that my "optimistic energy keeps people going" & I'm really happy being the one to inspire others to be the best they can be & to just have a good day. But it's not easy sustaining the energy all the time! & people's energy is contagious, so it's hard work trying to come out on top of the "sad one" with your own positive optimism :unsure:

I'm usually my most confident when I feel like progress is being/has been made, or when i really embrace that "today is a new day, I've got all the time in the day & a head full of dreams/motivation to do ANYTHING" mentality, or when i feel like i'm going through one crazy life experience that I can add to the "Story of My Life" storybook.
I'm low when i get paranoid or feel like i missed out on something, or when a relation with a person isn't going as swell as i feel it could be. Loss & failure go here. Feeling like i failed when i could have done something better. Or when I feel like I don't fit in a picture well.

It's a real buzzkill sometimes. I wish I could be feeling confident all the time cause it's one damn good feeling & I like who i am when I'm cheerful, but it is work to maintain & keep clean! :sad:
 
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