[Aßbiscuits]

I honestly don't like when someone doesn't let me say what I think cause it might hurt someone's feelings and whenever I try to share my opinion ENFPs get pissy (on and outside of this site). I don't mean to stereotype but INFPs, INFJs and ISFPs are considerate the most delicate types but I can't say I agree after how hushed I am by ENFPs but never by those types. And it always happens too!

Why is this? I've seen no exception so far, in fact, I kind of have a feeling someone will get their feelings hurt even by me saying this much. I could just shut my mouth, sugar coat and pretend everything's top notch but that's just stupid now isn't it? Because you learn from asking questions and sharing your opinion, I do anyway! I go in with an open mind not a closed one. Which is why I'm asking, for validation that this is true, that ENFPs want everything to be happy and perfect, and for everyone to shut up about what they think or feel (yes feel).

Is this true? Are you someone who prefers people to shut their mouths, learn nothing and play pretend as if everything's okay and everything's doesn't deserve the conflict/attention that it needs?

Is it the aspect of hurting another that's placed above being able to say what you feel is important? It's happened to me at least five times too and I don't troll or search for trouble in real life or on here (most of the time, I like to see what I can get away with but I never have been doing so in these situations in which I've been told to just be quiet and stop hurting people's feelings..)

I'm really not a troll though. I hope you know that.I love ENFPs in general, too. I love all types but they have a special place in my....wherever.

 

[Inquiery]

I honestly don't like when someone doesn't let me say what I think cause it might hurt someone's feelings and whenever I try to share my opinion ENFPs get pissy (on and outside of this site). I don't mean to stereotype but INFPs, INFJs and ISFPs are considerate the most delicate types but I can't say I agree after how hushed I am by ENFPs but never by those types. And it always happens too!

Why is this? I've seen no exception so far, in fact, I kind of have a feeling someone will get their feelings hurt even by me saying this much. I could just shut my mouth, sugar coat and pretend everything's top notch but that's just stupid now isn't it? Because you learn from asking questions and sharing your opinion, I do anyway! I go in with an open mind not a closed one. Which is why I'm asking, for validation that this is true, that ENFPs want everything to be happy and perfect, and for everyone to shut up about what they think or feel (yes feel).

Is this true? Are you someone who prefers people to shut their mouths, learn nothing and play pretend as if everything's okay and everything's doesn't deserve the conflict/attention that it needs?

Is it the aspect of hurting another that's placed above being able to say what you feel is important? It's happened to me at least five times too and I don't troll or search for trouble in real life or on here (most of the time, I like to see what I can get away with but I never have been doing so in these situations in which I've been told to just be quiet and stop hurting people's feelings..)

I'm really not a troll though. I hope you know that.I love ENFPs in general, too. I love all types but they have a special place in my....wherever.

I am not really sure where you got this impression. ENFP in my experience are completely O.K. with me stating my opinion in the manner I think about it. As long as I'm honest they either agree with me or respectively disagree.

I have seen a lot of ENFPs also complain that INTJs are too insensitive and don't really like ENFPs. I think the thread in the INTJ forum titled "what do you guys REALLY like about us?" (or something similar) is an example. This thread as far as I can tell is the only place I have seen an INTJ ENFP clash. Hopefully those INTJs just met young/immature ENFPs.

May I ask what some of your opinions that have been perceived as mean are?

 

[Essay]

I honestly don't like when someone doesn't let me say what I think cause it might hurt someone's feelings and whenever I try to share my opinion ENFPs get pissy (on and outside of this site). I don't mean to stereotype but INFPs, INFJs and ISFPs are considerate the most delicate types but I can't say I agree after how hushed I am by ENFPs but never by those types. And it always happens too!

Why is this? I've seen no exception so far, in fact, I kind of have a feeling someone will get their feelings hurt even by me saying this much. I could just shut my mouth, sugar coat and pretend everything's top notch but that's just stupid now isn't it? Because you learn from asking questions and sharing your opinion, I do anyway! I go in with an open mind not a closed one. Which is why I'm asking, for validation that this is true, that ENFPs want everything to be happy and perfect, and for everyone to shut up about what they think or feel (yes feel).

Is this true? Are you someone who prefers people to shut their mouths, learn nothing and play pretend as if everything's okay and everything's doesn't deserve the conflict/attention that it needs?

Is it the aspect of hurting another that's placed above being able to say what you feel is important? It's happened to me at least five times too and I don't troll or search for trouble in real life or on here (most of the time, I like to see what I can get away with but I never have been doing so in these situations in which I've been told to just be quiet and stop hurting people's feelings..)

I'm really not a troll though. I hope you know that.I love ENFPs in general, too. I love all types but they have a special place in my....wherever.

Aww, I know you're not a troll. I see what you're saying, but on a personal level it doesn't perfectly apply to me. And here's the thing: I am an enne type 9. I am entirely devoted to the idea of social cohesion and minimizing conflict.

I certainly will react when you infringe on a minority viewpoint. It's my schtick. That doesn't mean that I'll go straight into all-out devil's advocate mode at the drop of a pin. Most of the time it just comes out as a joking counterpoint, which doubles as a reminder of the lost perspective---a squeak of the voice being subjugated. Unless I know you're in the mood for a debate, I'm not going to force a debate. If my little joke-and-wink approach leads into one, I'm not going to let it get heated. I totally understand your need to vent---or maybe I don't---I never seem to need to vent---but the fact is that I support my NT friends in this, even if I don't agree. Your voice is a minority voice as well, in the grander scheme of things. There's never really a "little guy" to put our money on.

So yeah, just think of it as the ENFP wanting to protect you as much as the feelings of the other person. We don't want you perpetuating an argument with holes in it either... for your own sake. :laughing:

 

[Aßbiscuits]

I am not really sure where you got this impression. ENFP in my experience are completely O.K. with me stating my opinion in the manner I think about it. As long as I'm honest they either agree with me or respectively disagree.

I have seen a lot of ENFPs also complain that INTJs are too insensitive and don't really like ENFPs. I think the thread in the INTJ forum titled "what do you guys REALLY like about us?" (or something similar) is an example. This thread as far as I can tell is the only place I have seen an INTJ ENFP clash. Hopefully those INTJs just met young/immature ENFPs.

May I ask what some of your opinions that have been perceived as mean are?

That's a good question. I never saw that thread, interesting.

I'll use these examples since they're pretty specific:

My friendboy was talking about how he never got any girls even though he's a nice guy and how he treated women with respect and didn't treat them like objects, blah blah blah. But women weren't interested in him because he didn't have a job or a car yet or lots of money. I wasn't really thinking very hard and I said "Well, give yourself time, women are always settling for losers" I didn't mean for it to come out that way. I don't even remember what I was trying to say, but it came out completely wrong and offensive. I explained this and he said I actually did think he was a loser. Then he asked me "do you think I'm a loser, honestly?" and I explained I didn't think he was a loser I just said he should get some balls when he's talking to women and stop thinking women are shallow enough to only care about money and cars etc, I said that wasn't the problem I said him not being brave enough to talk to them was.

So then my friendgirl (ENFP) starting saying I was so insensitive after how upset what I said had made him. She told me I should keep quite about the mean things I think in future, she said something like "if I were to say everything that was on my mind you'd hate me! But I don't because I love you and I don't want you to hate me" to me .

My brother told me to stop sharing my dislike of school, my religious views, my political views with my parents because it got me into trouble. He has the same set-up of morals and viewpoints, nearly, as I do! But when me bringing up my opinion of this at home and when it upset someone he'd take their sides and tell me it's better if I just keep my mouth shut.

Then there was that psychic thread on here.

Maybe it's not ENFPs, maybe it's me and what I say and ENFPs just happen to be there lol.

 

[kaycee]

I'm all about avoiding confrontation as well. If I don't know you well, I'm more likely to let you say whatever you are going to say and not say much but have an internal dialogue going about how nuts you are. And then I may call a friend and tell her or him why you are a nut bag...

As for the situation you specifically mentioned, if I was close to you, I might talk to you later and in a roundabout way mention that you hurt the guy's feelings, but more likely, I would try to get a one on one with him and try to smooth things over so he didn't feel bad and also so he didn't think badly of you.

Idk, I just don't see this in my personality at all.

 

[Inquiery]

My friendboy was talking about how he never got any girls even though he's a nice guy and how he treated women with respect and didn't treat them like objects, blah blah blah. But women weren't interested in him because he didn't have a job or a car yet or lots of money. I wasn't really thinking very hard and I said "Well, give yourself time, women are always settling for losers" I didn't mean for it to come out that way. I don't even remember what I was trying to say, but it came out completely wrong and offensive. I explained this and he said I actually did think he was a loser. Then he asked me "do you think I'm a loser, honestly?" and I explained I didn't think he was a loser I just said he should get some balls when he's talking to women and stop thinking women are shallow enough to only care about money and cars etc, I said that wasn't the problem I said him not being brave enough to talk to them was.

So then my friendgirl (ENFP) starting saying I was so insensitive after how upset what I said had made him. She told me I should keep quite about the mean things I think in future, she said something like "if I were to say everything that was on my mind you'd hate me! But I don't because I love you and I don't want you to hate me" to me .

Yea in the example with your male friend you were pretty mean. I can definitely see what you were trying to say when you said "well, give yourself time, women are always settling for losers". What you should have done is interjected as soon as possible and said "hold up, that came out completely wrong". Thought about it for a second, and then said, "women tend to settle for losers... don't worry eventually they'll learn better or you'll find one by chance".

As for telling your friend to essentially "man up" when it comes to women...... just never say this. It isn't helpful, ever, even if it's true. Men all have trouble with women and are somewhat insecure about it. It also doesn't help that your a women so your confirming his insecurities. Most guys have been rejected numerous times, whether they were interested in a girl or not, and this can really shatter your confidence at a young age. I would give practical advice, as in "say XXX in XXX situation" or help them out. You know, introduce him to a girl who is a friend of yours. I don't know why but I have never had a women introduce me to others outside of a work setting. It is incredibly helpful to do because it helps both parties feel comfortable having you there and facilitates the conversation. Men seem to do this much more often.

As for the case of your parents... at an early age your going to have to hold back your opinions ( I did). They are just too rough or the language such that it is too easy to offend others. Eventually you'll figure this out, but you'll need practice. You can also always ask why your family is offended too. As for your last example, I can't get make myself read that thread.

You very much remind me of myself only a few years ago. Don't worry, you'll learn. I can't say it will be pleasant though.

 

[Psilocin]

That's a good question. I never saw that thread, interesting.

I'll use these examples since they're pretty specific:

My friendboy was talking about how he never got any girls even though he's a nice guy and how he treated women with respect and didn't treat them like objects, blah blah blah. But women weren't interested in him because he didn't have a job or a car yet or lots of money. I wasn't really thinking very hard and I said "Well, give yourself time, women are always settling for losers" I didn't mean for it to come out that way. I don't even remember what I was trying to say, but it came out completely wrong and offensive. I explained this and he said I actually did think he was a loser. Then he asked me "do you think I'm a loser, honestly?" and I explained I didn't think he was a loser I just said he should get some balls when he's talking to women and stop thinking women are shallow enough to only care about money and cars etc, I said that wasn't the problem I said him not being brave enough to talk to them was.

So then my friendgirl (ENFP) starting saying I was so insensitive after how upset what I said had made him. She told me I should keep quite about the mean things I think in future, she said something like "if I were to say everything that was on my mind you'd hate me! But I don't because I love you and I don't want you to hate me" to me .

My brother told me to stop sharing my dislike of school, my religious views, my political views with my parents because it got me into trouble. He has the same set-up of morals and viewpoints, nearly, as I do! But when me bringing up my opinion of this at home and when it upset someone he'd take their sides and tell me it's better if I just keep my mouth shut.

Then there was that psychic thread on here.

Maybe it's not ENFPs, maybe it's me and what I say and ENFPs just happen to be there lol.

Sounds like you just need to learn some tact, assy.

 

[WMDistraction]

I've never really seen this. My ENFP friend and I have completely different opinions and viewpoints about generally abrasive and controversial issues, yet we still debate them and neither of us get angry. However, I do get pissy if you try to immediately discredit or criticize what I'm saying without letting me further my point or idea. My ENTP friend does this often and I consistently find myself holding back the desire to punch him square in the face.

 

[GoGo]

I've known a few INTJ's, and usually the only reason I'm hushing them up in any social situation is because they're trying to tell me something I already know. I'm not saying that you do this, but one INTJ I knew in particular became quite annoying because he felt the need to point out every minute detail of negativity in anything or anyone he interacted with. I really just wanted to say to him sometimes: "Thank you kindly, again; however, I know there is a flaw, and I've already taken it into consideration. You can stop trying to hold my hand through life because, frankly, I'm actually not a fucking three year old."

An ENFP is truly an optimist, through and through. We understand very well that there are bad sides to things; we don't need it pointed out incessantly. We simply just want the enjoyment of living in the good side of situations. We are far from "unlearned" or "ignorant," but I personally just see overt pessimism as mostly pointless, and I wouldn't be surprised to find out that most ENFPs feel the same. Cynicism does not necessarily equal intelligence. It may seem helpful at the start, but after a while the ENFP will probably begin find it insulting, thus, want to hush you up!

When you told your friend he was a loser, he already knew that. When you criticize your parent's beliefs, they most likely already know. A person's opinion, personality, or lifestyle are things you can never change no matter how many logical statements you throw at them over and over. That's something they need to do themselves. ENFPs would rather just rather ignore these things, because we know we're not going to change someone's fundamental being, so we would rather just ignore it and enjoy the good things about them.

I read the thread about with the girl who was interested in psychic abilities. Simply put, there are things that are just unnecessary to point out. You wouldn't look at a friend and say "you're fat" and expect to get away with it, would you? It does nothing. I know there is a sense of gratification you could get out of pointing out the truth (that was never necessarily denied, but simply left unstated), but in the long run it's probably something they've already said to themselves (such as the case with calling your friend a "loser"), and it will only serve to further their low-self esteem.

ENFPs notice and are very sensitive about these things, so I can see why you've been hushed up so much. When an ENFP silences you because they think what you will say will hurt someone's feelings, it's because it will. What I don't understand is why that doesn't play a large factor into your phrasing. A polite argument is the only argument that actually goes anywhere.

 

[Aßbiscuits]

A polite argument is the only argument that actually goes anywhere.

People throw out everything they've got and know when it's a heated argument, you not only learn more about what you're arguing about, you learn more about people.

I've been learning tact, but I also think the other person should learn to not let their feelings get hurt so easily, it's only fair.

I actually tell people the honest truth to help them, not because I enjoy or get a kick out of it. I am not one for sugar coating, I'm very against that. This is how I look at it; if I say something you consider mean, it's the same thing as me giving you a compliment. I think being criticised and praised makes us know which traits of our's to let shine through and which to deal with so we develop better as people. It's only cause I care, just cause I do it differently :sad:. You can change your faults, don't be so negative. He can become braver and learn how to talk to girls, I'm helping him with it.

I could be less abrasive admittedly. And I don't agree everyone knows the negative things you want to say, not in all situations.

I was upset with my friend that he was throwing out stereotypes about women, saying they were shallow, I got carried away with that and ended up saying you know it's not that stereotype that's stopping you from getting chicks, it's you.

And I really want to know what bad things my ENFP friendgirl thinks about me, it helps.

 

[Inquiery]

People throw out everything they've got and know when it's a heated argument, you not only learn more about what you're arguing about, you learn more about people.

I've been learning tact, but I also think the other person should learn to not let their feelings get hurt so easily, it's only fair.

I actually tell people the honest truth to help them, not because I enjoy or get a kick out of it. I am not one for sugar coating, I'm very against that. This is how I look at it; if I say something you consider mean, it's the same thing as me giving you a compliment. I think being criticised and praised makes us know which traits of our's to let shine through and which to deal with so we develop better as people. It's only cause I care, just cause I do it differently . You can change your faults, don't be so negative. He can become braver and learn how to talk to girls, I'm helping him with it.

I could be less abrasive admittedly. And I don't agree everyone knows the negative things you want to say, not in all situations.

I am afraid you might need a bit of an attitude change here. What is the point of telling the brutal truth is someone just gets pissed off? You didn't help them, you just made them upset and self conscious. And don't expect people to change so you don't need to censor your sentences, not everyone can and most won't be that insensitive.

This is really just learning about how to work with others. Some you can say whatever you want to, some you can't. You NEED to know what people's boundaries are. Knowing them are important in all relationships, which are instrumentally important for career success or dating. Saying the wrong thing can get you fired, make your life miserable at work, or prevent you from meeting someone. And yea, people are that sensitive. One slip up can do it.

I was upset with my friend that he was throwing out stereotypes about women, saying they were shallow, I got carried away with that and ended up saying you know it's not that stereotype that's stopping you from getting chicks, it's you.


And I really want to know what bad things my ENFP friendgirl thinks about me, it helps.

I would suggest, in the future, telling him your opinions on his stereotyping of women in a tactful way. You may also want to keep in mind he is hurt and ranting...... he doesn't want your opinion necessarily, he wants support. Also, you retaliating on an unrelated topic does not make it clear to someone why your being mean.

I doubt you can get ENFP friendgirl to tell you what she thinks are the bad things about you. She probably won't be able to make herself do it from a moral level. Also, she probably thinks on some level that you might retaliate. She wouldn't be able to put up with the same verbal punishment as you.

 

[Aßbiscuits]

I am afraid you might need a bit of an attitude change here. What is the point of telling the brutal truth is someone just gets pissed off? You didn't help them, you just made them upset and self conscious. And don't expect people to change so you don't need to censor your sentences, not everyone can and most won't be that insensitive.

This is really just learning about how to work with others. Some you can say whatever you want to, some you can't. You NEED to know what people's boundaries are. Knowing them are important in all relationships, which are instrumentally important for career success or dating. Saying the wrong thing can get you fired, make your life miserable at work, or prevent you from meeting someone. And yea, people are that sensitive. One slip up can do it.







I would suggest, in the future, telling him your opinions on his stereotyping of women in a tactful way. You may also want to keep in mind he is hurt and ranting...... he doesn't want your opinion necessarily, he wants support. Also, you retaliating on an unrelated topic does not make it clear to someone why your being mean.

I doubt you can get ENFP friendgirl to tell you what she thinks are the bad things about you. She probably won't be able to make herself do it from a moral level. Also, she probably thinks on some level that you might retaliate. She wouldn't be able to put up with the same verbal punishment as you.

I think you're assuming too much about me tbh. I'd never verbally abuse my friend for telling me what she thinks of me. I like honesty, I like to know when I'm doing things wrong. How can I develop if no-one tells me? That's like a teacher correcting your work all correct just to be nice. The things I say aren't that bad. I'm not talking about being brutally honest, I'm talking about holding my piece, I just can't do it and it has on occasions, driven my ENFP peoples to anger and made them want me to just shut up and be more reserved. But what I say isn't always bad and I deliver it with as much sensitivity as I can muster (if the situation involves people I love) it's the content that hurts them. The truth hurts but you have to face it. I'm not the only one who has this attitude.

I told my friend that I didn't think he was a loser, but he needed to be braver when talking to girls. I think it's reasonable to say "Women aren't shallow enough to only care if you have material things, I think the problem is you let yourself get friendzoned and you won't talk to the girls you like, not that you don't have a car". I'm not going to help someone if they don't help themselves and that's what he was searching for - help. Yeah, that's not that bad. I even help him with it now, still. He thanks me all the time, he knows what I'm like, just what I said then didn't help much after accidentally calling him a loser. I'm in no way going to start telling him he's awesome with girls when he doesn't even approach them and expect to get them because he's a nice guy.

I could definitely improve how I word things and when to speak and have more tact. I know that, I don't need people to point it out to me (sound familiar? ;P) the question I'm asking is, since I've noticed from my observations: Do ENFPs not like when people share their opinions? I guess the answer is yes, but I've gathered from this that ENFPs just look at it differently.

And it doesn't take morals for one to keep their opinions to themselves...This is exactly what I'm talking about. I've never gotten in trouble at school for challenging teachers or stuff like that and I've been doing so since I was young, it's only affected my life thus far with friendENFPs getting angry with me and with my parents thinking I'm a nutter.

 

[GoGo]

People throw out everything they've got and know when it's a heated argument, you not only learn more about what you're arguing about, you learn more about people.

I've been in plenty heated arguments that were still extremely civil and cordial. I enjoy a legitimate challenge, not a mudslinging contest.

I've been learning tact, but I also think the other person should learn to not let their feelings get hurt so easily, it's only fair.

I was told this when I was younger. My older siblings would constantly berate me. Eventually I would get upset and as an excuse they would say "we're just trying to get you to man up." What I learned from this situation is to never allow anyone to tell me to "man up." I was endowed with a great deal of emotion and there is nothing I can do to change that. I can shove it away in a corner of my mind and become depressed about it later, but it's ultimately still there. If this is the logic you're using, then you have no right to become sad or upset when someone becomes upset with you over something you said. You would "learn to not let [your] feelings get hurt so easily."

I actually tell people the honest truth to help them, not because I enjoy or get a kick out of it. I am not one for sugar coating, I'm very against that. This is how I look at it; if I say something you consider mean, it's the same thing as me giving you a compliment. I think being criticised and praised makes us know which traits of our's to let shine through and which to deal with so we develop better as people. It's only cause I care, just cause I do it differently :sad:. You can change your faults, don't be so negative. He can become braver and learn how to talk to girls, I'm helping him with it.

What it comes down to here is your phrasing. As odd as this may sound, the truth ultimately does need to be filtered, or else it comes out as "you're a loser," and no one wants to say something like that, or have something they say interpreted as that by a friend. As cliche as this may sound, just think before you speak. Of course everyone can change their faults, and of course a little help never hurts, but if you just call someone a loser, there's a very good chance that it will only further their depression and externally affirm what your friend already probably thought about himself.

I could be less abrasive admittedly. And I don't agree everyone knows the negative things you want to say, not in all situations.

Well, there are definitely things that people are ignorant about, but the two examples you brought up were your friend and your parents, and the third was the girl with interest in psychic abilities. Neither of these situations (I feel) are you sharing vital, life altering information that they wouldn't have known otherwise, you're simply giving them a blunt opinion. What is a person supposed to do with just your opinion? Two example conversations:

1)
Person A: Bees are harmless.
Person B: Actually, they sting people, and some people are really allergic and could die.
2)
Person A: Bees are my favorite insect.
Person B: Well, that makes no sense, did you know that they can be deadly?

While perhaps extreme examples, do you see the difference?

I was upset with my friend that he was throwing out stereotypes about women, saying they were shallow, I got carried away with that and ended up saying you know it's not that stereotype that's stopping you from getting chicks, it's you.

It's painfully obvious that he's throwing out these stereotypes because of his own insecurity, but that's not what matters. What you said doesn't matter, what matters is how it was interpreted. Using tact and proper phrasing greatly helps in eliminating the chance of misinterpretation. Often times, when I say something blunt or rude to someone, they don't take what I have to say to heart, they simply write me off as an ass and move on with their lives. Blunt statements only work with people in desperate need of them. To use an amusing analogy, girls don't typically choose to use jumbo tampons unless they need them. :wink:

 

[Aßbiscuits]

I've been in plenty heated arguments that were still extremely civil and cordial. I enjoy a legitimate challenge, not a mudslinging contest.

That's your experiences of heated arguments, not mine.

I was told this when I was younger. My older siblings would constantly berate me. Eventually I would get upset and as an excuse they would say "we're just trying to get you to man up." What I learned from this situation is to never allow anyone to tell me to "man up." I was endowed with a great deal of emotion and there is nothing I can do to change that. I can shove it away in a corner of my mind and become depressed about it later, but it's ultimately still there. If this is the logic you're using, then you have no right to become sad or upset when someone becomes upset with you over something you said. You would "learn to not let [your] feelings get hurt so easily."

I'm not upset, what is up with all this assuming? I'm wondering if ENFPs want to hush people and get them to lie to people's faces to make them feel good about themselves while they become worse in the long run. When did I say it upset me that they hushed me? It's unfair I think.

It's easy to learn, I was a sensitive kid too and people perceived my constant outspokenness to be anger and they never took what I said seriously and teased me. That upset me a lot but I have stopped letting what people say hurt my feelings. It's stupid and a sign of horrible self esteem, unless what they're saying is true, then you should try to change it or learn to deal with it.

What it comes down to here is your phrasing. As odd as this may sound, the truth ultimately does need to be filtered, or else it comes out as "you're a loser," and no one wants to say something like that, or have something they say interpreted as that by a friend. As cliche as this may sound, just think before you speak. Of course everyone can change their faults, and of course a little help never hurts, but if you just call someone a loser, there's a very good chance that it will only further their depression and externally affirm what your friend already probably thought about himself.

Men who are scared to talk to women aren't losers if he thinks he's a loser for that I'm sure I've expressed my thoughts of the women he has spoken to being stuck up and intimidating so he has nothing to worry about. My thoughts of shyness and how I understand it. I give him tough love, if he hated this about me and if it hurt him so much he wouldn't be my friend. Friendgirl just blew it out of proportion because of how disheartened he seemed. He could've been upset thinking he upset me by implying women were shallow. I don't know because he wasn't honest with me. I don't think my friend's a loser and he knows that. I should think before I speak though, if it makes a difference. I'm thinking before I say this now and it's probably not helping me much.

Well, there are definitely things that people are ignorant about, but the two examples you brought up were your friend and your parents, and the third was the girl with interest in psychic abilities. Neither of these situations (I feel) are you sharing vital, life altering information that they wouldn't have known otherwise, you're simply giving them a blunt opinion. What is a person supposed to do with just your opinion? Two example conversations:

1)
Person A: Bees are harmless.
Person B: Actually, they sting people, and some people are really allergic and could die.
2)
Person A: Bees are my favorite insect.
Person B: Well, that makes no sense, did you know that they can be deadly?

While perhaps extreme examples, do you see the difference?

My parents need to know how I feel about things! What kind of household would we live in if they didn't know anything about their daughter or if they didn't teach me what they knew? Interest in psychic abilities? She was saying she had them, and I thought that was making ENFPs look dumb. So we should only share what we think if it's vital? Absolutely life changing? Is that what you think you're doing for me? She said she wanted my opinion, I don't know what she'd do with it. Masturbate to it probably.

Yes, I see the difference. But there's a difference between that example and that thread. Bees are useful and honey is excellent and has so many useful proposes beating some antibiotics in the process of healing people's wounds etc. However, thinking you have psychic abilities is just plain dumb and self-delusion is unhealthy.

It's painfully obvious that he's throwing out these stereotypes because of his own insecurity, but that's not what matters. What you said doesn't matter, what matters is how it was interpreted. Using tact and proper phrasing greatly helps in eliminating the chance of misinterpretation. Often times, when I say something blunt or rude to someone, they don't take what I have to say to heart, they simply write me off as an ass and move on with their lives. Blunt statements only work with people in desperate need of them. To use an amusing analogy, girls don't typically choose to use jumbo tampons unless they need them. :wink:

I didn't mean to say it, I don't normally say things like that. Well, if people write me off as an ass(biscuit) than there's no harm done! But if I say something honest and that can help them, even better.

I didn't get your analogy.

 

[GoGo]

I assumed you were upset because of the sad face.

I feel we've reached a difference of opinion. I don't see the point in continuing this discussion.

 

[Aßbiscuits]

I assumed you were upset because of the sad face.

I feel we've reached a difference of opinion. I don't see the point in continuing this discussion.

Sad faces are usually always jokes :sad:

Over here they are anyway.

And using emotes always gets people's attention.

And at least explain your analogy.

 

[GoGo]

No, I'm done. Goodnight.

 

[Aßbiscuits]

No, I'm done. Goodnight.

Moody :tongue:






.

 

[The Proof]

I'm really not a troll though. I hope you know that.I love ENFPs in general, too. I love all types but they have a special place in my....wherever.

ENFPs have a special place in my trunk hahahahaha :laughing::laughing:

it does come down to the individual though, because some people don't really get pissed off, while others will get pissed off if you say two words to them (I know this from experience)

 

[AgAu]

There's only two reasons I'd ever try and hush anyone.

1. If they're about to say something that I believe later they will regret having said.

2. They're about to say something that could hurt someone else and I'm pretty sure they're unaware that they have the potential in doing so with the upcoming remarks.

In each case my only reason for doing so is to give them a chance to reconsider the remarks given my view of the social situation. If they want to press on at that point, so be it.

I really don't care if someone wants to say something that I think is stupid. To them it's not stupid and if I value that relationship, I'll respect them for it. As long as it isn't hurting anybody, I certainly don't feel a need to prove them incorrect.

Am I doing them a disservice by not bringing them into my enlightened world? Perhaps, but I freely acknowledge that my view of the world is shaped by a technically flawed 'feeling' process. I think it's what makes me able to accept other's views as reasonable even in the face of some evidence to the contrary.

Ass-

I suspect what you've encountered with ENFP hostility is a less gentle form of my rule #2. I read your other thread and my impression was that people were more interested in curbing you into relationship damage control rather than disagree with you from a technical perspective.