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Hi, Internet.

Just created a forum account here around half an hour ago, been touring around this amazing site filled with really interesting and differing people. I found this place by googling 'ENFP lonely' and finding this whole amazing site filled with MY PEOPLE. Well, not really, just people I can really relate to. So, I've been through this whole empty feeling lately, kind of like a vicious cycle, except that I don't really know how to actually get out of it. I can't really explain it right now so...

I'll just copy-paste parts of this message I emailed my friend whom I guess I've kind of distanced from and she hasn't responded back, which I would hope is because she's busy.
"Things have been a bit odd lately, and I guess I figured bouncing thoughts off people was always more therapeutic than rambling off on Evernote to Dear Macbook, which sounds absolutely insane. Figured to email it, since that seems like the easiest, less awkward and odd form of communication with anyone nowadays. If you don't really want to read this wall of nowhere-going words, or if it doesn't even get through to begin with, don't worry. I get it. It just helps to have a wall of text and emotions that you know would go to someone, regardless of any reply. So, thank you for that.

I was kind of wondering if this huge gap in like everything was kind of a crazy-busy-school thing. Kinda feels like I've been overly stressed out lately, but you can't really pinpoint it on anything. Or perhaps the answer to that is that it's everything. And then the sudden disinterest in everything, all hobbies and interests and passions. It just feels like there's this huge black hole sucking everything up. And for the sake of puns, it sucks. Not really. It's just plain nothingness and oddness. I've also recently developed this huge self-awareness issue when it comes to face to face talking, hence the need for emails. It's like, knowing someone would be judging your every action, eye contact (or lack of) and your conversation (or also lack thereof). Does one call that social anxiety? I don't think so, it's just this fear to do or say much and then the buyer's-regret-feeling when you realise later on what you should've said an hour ago. I don't know, really. It's all very odd. Maybe this is called maturity, being a little bit more aware of one's little embarrassments. For instance, using one instead of you sounds really nice but also extremely pretentious. Too bad, dear reader.

I don't know. I've also lately figured that music is one of the best things out there. There's probably this time where I'd say anyone listening to music for 2 hours a day is insane. Well, proud to break that self-myth now. Kind of. Recently got into this Defying Gravity obsession and made a list of the best Elphabas ever and still blasting Bastille even way after the concert. It kind of shuts out my own thoughts (I've been thinking that's not a good thing but if you start thinking about everything, that won't be the only thing shutting down). And blocks out people and their utterly superficial conversations. It's not even their fault. It's just I have a feeling I've been way too serious lately. And there's no way to lighten up when like nothing excites you and everything is just so crazy odd and you don't seem to be able to focus on anything and you can't blame it on anything or anyone and you have no idea what's going on. I'm not really asking for advice here, just jotting everything down to make sense of it. Is it supposed to be temporary? It's funny, last I tried to explain this, someone once told me they're in the same situation, and they've kinda given up on figuring out. I don't know why, but that sounds awfully sad, to have everything around you but not being able to enjoy or appreciate it properly. I don't think it's because of my current situation or anything, which is what befuddles me. I guess I just don't know how I fit into the circle of things, or if it'll ever get a bit more comfortable trying to fit in that circle.

It just occurred to me that it's quite likely that in this 4 years, after October this year, I'd try to look back and see what I've done, and really, not feel accomplished or anything. In this 4 years, I don't really have any way to define this whole time. And that just seems so not right. (Please don't go on about how rightness is defined by the society and you don't have to do what the society says, because I'm pretty sure the reason why it isn't right is because one doesn't want to leave a school having done absolutely nothing. And it's really not like I've done nothing, just nothing that I feel will be memorable enough to make this time worthwhile. I just feel like this major disappointment.) I don't know.

I guess I would sum up this ramble with... Nothing? It's really just to put my thoughts down. So I really don't mind a lack of response, just know you've managed to help me make a little bit more sense of it already. Yup. Thanks."

It's an email that I sent to my friend a while back, ramble-style. And if you've made it this far, I guess I hope you could give me some advice on this long chain of issues and empty feeling I've faced recently, because it really just sucks. Thank you, for giving me some space on this little white wall, and for any possible advice :)
 

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Hi, Internet.

Just created a forum account here around half an hour ago, been touring around this amazing site filled with really interesting and differing people. I found this place by googling 'ENFP lonely' and finding this whole amazing site filled with MY PEOPLE. Well, not really, just people I can really relate to. So, I've been through this whole empty feeling lately, kind of like a vicious cycle, except that I don't really know how to actually get out of it. I can't really explain it right now so...

I'll just copy-paste parts of this message I emailed my friend whom I guess I've kind of distanced from and she hasn't responded back, which I would hope is because she's busy.
"Things have been a bit odd lately, and I guess I figured bouncing thoughts off people was always more therapeutic than rambling off on Evernote to Dear Macbook, which sounds absolutely insane. Figured to email it, since that seems like the easiest, less awkward and odd form of communication with anyone nowadays. If you don't really want to read this wall of nowhere-going words, or if it doesn't even get through to begin with, don't worry. I get it. It just helps to have a wall of text and emotions that you know would go to someone, regardless of any reply. So, thank you for that.

I was kind of wondering if this huge gap in like everything was kind of a crazy-busy-school thing. Kinda feels like I've been overly stressed out lately, but you can't really pinpoint it on anything. Or perhaps the answer to that is that it's everything. And then the sudden disinterest in everything, all hobbies and interests and passions. It just feels like there's this huge black hole sucking everything up. And for the sake of puns, it sucks. Not really. It's just plain nothingness and oddness. I've also recently developed this huge self-awareness issue when it comes to face to face talking, hence the need for emails. It's like, knowing someone would be judging your every action, eye contact (or lack of) and your conversation (or also lack thereof). Does one call that social anxiety? I don't think so, it's just this fear to do or say much and then the buyer's-regret-feeling when you realise later on what you should've said an hour ago. I don't know, really. It's all very odd. Maybe this is called maturity, being a little bit more aware of one's little embarrassments. For instance, using one instead of you sounds really nice but also extremely pretentious. Too bad, dear reader.
I'm having a similar situation, yet not exactly the same.... I'm constantly avoiding one on one situations (even written) because then I know I'm the only one the other person is observing at that moment, and it makes it really hard. I'd much prefer being in a group where I'm not the only one to be observed and so I'm not the only one who needs to be interesting and stimulating and generally not boring to the others.

I don't know. I've also lately figured that music is one of the best things out there. There's probably this time where I'd say anyone listening to music for 2 hours a day is insane. Well, proud to break that self-myth now. Kind of. Recently got into this Defying Gravity obsession and made a list of the best Elphabas ever and still blasting Bastille even way after the concert. It kind of shuts out my own thoughts (I've been thinking that's not a good thing but if you start thinking about everything, that won't be the only thing shutting down). And blocks out people and their utterly superficial conversations. It's not even their fault. It's just I have a feeling I've been way too serious lately. And there's no way to lighten up when like nothing excites you and everything is just so crazy odd and you don't seem to be able to focus on anything and you can't blame it on anything or anyone and you have no idea what's going on. I'm not really asking for advice here, just jotting everything down to make sense of it. Is it supposed to be temporary? It's funny, last I tried to explain this, someone once told me they're in the same situation, and they've kinda given up on figuring out. I don't know why, but that sounds awfully sad, to have everything around you but not being able to enjoy or appreciate it properly. I don't think it's because of my current situation or anything, which is what befuddles me. I guess I just don't know how I fit into the circle of things, or if it'll ever get a bit more comfortable trying to fit in that circle.

It just occurred to me that it's quite likely that in this 4 years, after October this year, I'd try to look back and see what I've done, and really, not feel accomplished or anything. In this 4 years, I don't really have any way to define this whole time. And that just seems so not right. (Please don't go on about how rightness is defined by the society and you don't have to do what the society says, because I'm pretty sure the reason why it isn't right is because one doesn't want to leave a school having done absolutely nothing. And it's really not like I've done nothing, just nothing that I feel will be memorable enough to make this time worthwhile. I just feel like this major disappointment.) I don't know.

I guess I would sum up this ramble with... Nothing? It's really just to put my thoughts down. So I really don't mind a lack of response, just know you've managed to help me make a little bit more sense of it already. Yup. Thanks."

It's an email that I sent to my friend a while back, ramble-style. And if you've made it this far, I guess I hope you could give me some advice on this long chain of issues and empty feeling I've faced recently, because it really just sucks. Thank you, for giving me some space on this little white wall, and for any possible advice :)
I can basically relate to everything you wrote.
Sorry for not knowing how to help though...
Oh and:

 


 


 
 

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Ps : I absolutely adore your writting style.

Welcome :kitteh:

Really I mean, your only issue here is that you're growin up. When I was, I thought that pretty much all my friends sucked because well, they were concerned about things that just didn't matter to me (they still don't) such as TV shows, the latest hot ass in the class room, favorite sex position and how many girls they had an intercourse with, all of that.

I found "home" with "friends" that were just chilled out and pretty much laughin at everything + heavily into mangas / sports / livin the life and playin video games.

it was hard to connect deep with some of them but havin people beein simply normal, crazy half geek / half sportives helped a lot. Also little pleasures. You're gonna start to hugely enjoy little pleasures.

Just you know, do your thing. Find more guy friends, be yourself, daydream, and be aware that, to many people, you'll always be above in term of emotionnal intelligence. It's what curse us. But it's also what make ENFPs these enjoyable creatures.
 

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I sometimes feel the same way when I don't have my friends around.

I have accepted that there are times where I will be alone. Even when I comfort myself with that thought and I can function through the day the loneliness eats at me and I feel empty. At the end of the day, without any good social interactions my day feels "incomplete". The stress of school, homework and responsibilities has also been recently stressing me out.

I find that writing in a short journal or, like you, listening to music, helps fill the black void of "nothing". A call to my friend is the best of all. :)
 

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Discussion Starter #5
I'm having a similar situation, yet not exactly the same.... I'm constantly avoiding one on one situations (even written) because then I know I'm the only one the other person is observing at that moment, and it makes it really hard. I'd much prefer being in a group where I'm not the only one to be observed and so I'm not the only one who needs to be interesting and stimulating and generally not boring to the others.
It's funny, I need to disagree with that point. I mean, I've been extremely socially awkward, but also been seeking those people whom I can connect with perfectly for 1-1 convos (which is the problem because time and tide waits for no heart-to-hearts). I can't promise them the best conversation quality, or that it'll be fascinating and make them feel inspired about living life to the fullest, because i can't advocate for that when I don't feel inspired about it myself, but somehow conversations still fulfill me, just a few jokes thrown around like "Hey, how's life?" "What life?" makes me feel like I'm not alone in this busy crazy commitment-filled black hole. I can't carry most conversations properly anymore, but when I find someone I know won't judge me, I can finally be myself for just those few moments, and everything feels good again.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
Heh. Thank you :)

It's quite interesting how people who are possibly a few timezones apart can make my day nowadays, with just a few nice comments. An interesting observation is that apparently ENFPs are said to be open and nonjudgmental, but I feel rather judgmental about people and their conversation choice, and I guess joining into such a conversation would make me feel like I'm being a "fake". I don't know about you, but if the way to succeed in this world is to suck up to people and put on a mask of politeness and interest in every conversation, I'd much rather stay who I am, possibly unsuccessful but hopefully fulfilled.

Thank you for your advice, I'll try my best to follow it. Oh, and be myself at the same time :D
 

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...apparently ENFPs are said to be open and nonjudgmental, but I feel rather judgmental about people and their conversation choice...
I would agree that I'm extremely open and nonjudgmental. However, I'm also honest--and open--so people who are politically correct about things, or who prefer a more fake or plastic way of relating, have at times considered my openness to be judgmental. I see it like saying today is Sunday. There's honestly no judgement there--I'm just stating the reality of things, or how I see things, or how I feel about things.
 

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Quite the same, not rare to hear "you know you re not obliged to be that bold ..."
 

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Hi! :D
I get lonely a lot, probably because I'm searching for perfection.
I have no idea what I'm typing about, but I'll post anyways because why not? ;)
 

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I can relate..

Hi, Internet.

Just created a forum account here around half an hour ago, been touring around this amazing site filled with really interesting and differing people. I found this place by googling 'ENFP lonely' and finding this whole amazing site filled with MY PEOPLE. Well, not really, just people I can really relate to. So, I've been through this whole empty feeling lately, kind of like a vicious cycle, except that I don't really know how to actually get out of it. I can't really explain it right now so...

I'll just copy-paste parts of this message I emailed my friend whom I guess I've kind of distanced from and she hasn't responded back, which I would hope is because she's busy.
"Things have been a bit odd lately, and I guess I figured bouncing thoughts off people was always more therapeutic than rambling off on Evernote to Dear Macbook, which sounds absolutely insane. Figured to email it, since that seems like the easiest, less awkward and odd form of communication with anyone nowadays. If you don't really want to read this wall of nowhere-going words, or if it doesn't even get through to begin with, don't worry. I get it. It just helps to have a wall of text and emotions that you know would go to someone, regardless of any reply. So, thank you for that.

I was kind of wondering if this huge gap in like everything was kind of a crazy-busy-school thing. Kinda feels like I've been overly stressed out lately, but you can't really pinpoint it on anything. Or perhaps the answer to that is that it's everything. And then the sudden disinterest in everything, all hobbies and interests and passions. It just feels like there's this huge black hole sucking everything up. And for the sake of puns, it sucks. Not really. It's just plain nothingness and oddness. I've also recently developed this huge self-awareness issue when it comes to face to face talking, hence the need for emails. It's like, knowing someone would be judging your every action, eye contact (or lack of) and your conversation (or also lack thereof). Does one call that social anxiety? I don't think so, it's just this fear to do or say much and then the buyer's-regret-feeling when you realise later on what you should've said an hour ago. I don't know, really. It's all very odd. Maybe this is called maturity, being a little bit more aware of one's little embarrassments. For instance, using one instead of you sounds really nice but also extremely pretentious. Too bad, dear reader.

I don't know. I've also lately figured that music is one of the best things out there. There's probably this time where I'd say anyone listening to music for 2 hours a day is insane. Well, proud to break that self-myth now. Kind of. Recently got into this Defying Gravity obsession and made a list of the best Elphabas ever and still blasting Bastille even way after the concert. It kind of shuts out my own thoughts (I've been thinking that's not a good thing but if you start thinking about everything, that won't be the only thing shutting down). And blocks out people and their utterly superficial conversations. It's not even their fault. It's just I have a feeling I've been way too serious lately. And there's no way to lighten up when like nothing excites you and everything is just so crazy odd and you don't seem to be able to focus on anything and you can't blame it on anything or anyone and you have no idea what's going on. I'm not really asking for advice here, just jotting everything down to make sense of it. Is it supposed to be temporary? It's funny, last I tried to explain this, someone once told me they're in the same situation, and they've kinda given up on figuring out. I don't know why, but that sounds awfully sad, to have everything around you but not being able to enjoy or appreciate it properly. I don't think it's because of my current situation or anything, which is what befuddles me. I guess I just don't know how I fit into the circle of things, or if it'll ever get a bit more comfortable trying to fit in that circle.

It just occurred to me that it's quite likely that in this 4 years, after October this year, I'd try to look back and see what I've done, and really, not feel accomplished or anything. In this 4 years, I don't really have any way to define this whole time. And that just seems so not right. (Please don't go on about how rightness is defined by the society and you don't have to do what the society says, because I'm pretty sure the reason why it isn't right is because one doesn't want to leave a school having done absolutely nothing. And it's really not like I've done nothing, just nothing that I feel will be memorable enough to make this time worthwhile. I just feel like this major disappointment.) I don't know.

I guess I would sum up this ramble with... Nothing? It's really just to put my thoughts down. So I really don't mind a lack of response, just know you've managed to help me make a little bit more sense of it already. Yup. Thanks."

It's an email that I sent to my friend a while back, ramble-style. And if you've made it this far, I guess I hope you could give me some advice on this long chain of issues and empty feeling I've faced recently, because it really just sucks. Thank you, for giving me some space on this little white wall, and for any possible advice :)
I'm really glad I found this post, as I feel the same way often. I know it is due to the lack of high quality social interaction and because I also feel I have not accomplished anything meaningful within the last 4 years. It's pretty disappointing. I love photography and am fostering kittens. These things usually make me happy, but when I feel lonely and sad, it's just as you said..I feel nothing about them and am filled with emptiness. Then negative thoughts about the things I love to do creep in and I lay around sad until someone pulls me out of it.
 

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I am still having trouble even processing idea of lonely ENFP. All of I know are tireless socialization machines. It never ceases to amaze me.
 
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