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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
Well my quest continues of course! My very first blog was this one about 2 girls I ran across that I fell head over heels for who ended up being taken:

http://personalitycafe.com/infj-forum-protectors/23365-enfps-quest-find-infj-soulmate.html

(I had to change the account because the other became bugged out so sorry for the confusion)! Well I have had another encounter and I am in pursuit of someone I think more then likely is an INFJ again! Don't get me wrong I am open to many other possibilities of other temperaments out there but I just keep winding up going crazy for the quiet INFJs... I work with an older gal who is an INFJ (confirmed) and I have seen many sides good and bad and felt honored that she has opened up to me with frustrations and the side most don't see... I drive her nuts some times and we have communication break-downs on occasion but we talk things out and she is a sweet gal.

My fear is being disillusioned over time in the course of a relationship from idealizing a person way beyond what they are initially. I believe it is getting to know someone gradually as friends over time and then loving them imperfections and all that makes for a good relationship... I have settled on the idea that I am not going to be in a close relationship a few months ago and have been quite content with no worries or woes of striving for one. I always have a hope deep down, that I suppress, of running into someone one day but I haven't put any stock in the notion and therefore I thought I couldn't be let down. But as of recent I think I am drawn back into the realm of the possibility of a relationship with someone I ran into as of recent who I think is an INFJ who I thought at first was an INTJ... I share this to hopefully inspire people to take risks and chances (easily said coming from an ENFP). Life is too short to pass up opportunities! One can never know success unless one is well acquainted with many failures... Success is a relative term; even if relationships withstands the test of time struggles as well as deep grief are inevitable... The flower in all it's glory blooms only for a time and later wilts; such is life it is but a wisp that appears for a moment and is shortly thereafter gone. So here is my story continued:

I took a position as a youth pastor for a church a month ago and have had a blast mentoring teens. We went on an excursion 3 weeks ago to a farm for a hayride to bask in the glory of fall before winter sets in. We headed out and arrived at a locals farm just outside of town starting the evening out with a hayride; which consisted of us all riding in a flatbed on some bails of hay being towed by a tractor... No better way I thought to show the teens how much I loved them then by throwing hay down the back of their shirts which turned into a full on war with hay being the primary ammunition of choice... After getting my fare share of hay from all of them ganging up on me I started talking with the vegetable farmer who was driving the tractor. We clicked right off the bat and I noticed that he was a fellow intuitive amongst all of these fun loving sensors teens and one other loud female ENFP :) We headed back to the farm with a welcoming sunset amongst the pumpkins to greet us followed by a not so friendly drizzle that attempted to spoil our fun... We prevailed however and by nightfall we all were around a bond-fire making smores sitting on logs and stumps. The farmer apparently had 10 kids (I later found out) and I could hear expressions like “so cute,” coming from my teens while they were checking out the farmer's sons followed by noisy giggles and peels of laughter. The sons looked quite ruddy and handsome so I reminded myself to tease them on the matter when we drove back into town with the van... Well amongst all the socializing I noticed a girl standing at the fire who wasn't one of my teens and looked a little older. She didn't notice me come and stand right next to her while she gazed into the fire (she was in her own world lost in thought apparently). I noticed she had dark eyes and dark hair like myself and thought to myself she's kind of cute... The farmer struck up a conversation with me again and said that he heard that I played instruments in which I affirmed. He asked if I played the piano I told him I played little bit of piano as a novice. He told me that he had a Yamaha in the house; I told him that it was a very good brand. He further stated that if I wanted to play on it that I was more then welcome. At some point in our conversation the shy girl had vanished and I couldn't figure out where she went... Some time past and we were all drinking hot cocoa and apple cider (love the smell of cinnamon in the fall)! I told the farmer at last that I would take him up on the offer to play on his piano; he asked how good I was I told him that I was okay at it. I asked him if the piano was an upright; he smiled at me and stated “no it's a 6'3” piano...” I was even more excited at the prospect of playing on a baby grand piano that was a Yamaha. First thing I noticed when I walked through the door was a group of people playing scrabble at the dinning room table and some folks lounging in the living room. The piano was actually right in the dinning room so they made some room for me and I started with a piece I had been writing on for some time. It was melancholy in nature with a simple theme that was reflective in nature. I then played the piano rendition of “My heart will go on” (Celine Dion) to end it all. The notes and chords would swell just right and the response of the piano was incredibly balanced; from its resonant bass notes to its treble notes which chimed just right... I told the farmer that the piano had very good timbre and thanked him for letting me play on it.

I noticed the shy brown eyed girl standing right next to him and our eyes met. She had an intensity in her eyes and had I apparently caught her attention; I didn't know she was there the whole time. The father was asking me what I liked to play or who my influences were; I couldn't think straight and I couldn't focus on the conversation at hand. I kept steeling glances at this girl just so I could see her eyes (our eyes kept meeting over and over again)... The farmer asked her if she could play a certain piece and so she sat down and began with a gospel piece that had a lot of blues fills... My jaw was probably hanging down to the ground while watching her fingers go up and down the fingerboard; Jerry Lee Lewis eat your heart out! After she finished I told her that she had some very fast little fingers and she became shy again because she noticed that she was in the spot light. I said then I wished I brought my guitar so that I could play with you on that number! The father said we have guitars, violins a mandolin and a stand up base take your pick! So one of his sons went and fetched a guitar I made sure it was tuned to the piano and I told the quiet angel to play that piece again. She look surprised that I was going to play with her... Improvising was my stronger point in music and we played the number together ending it on a blues riff :) She said that I play the guitar really well; I could feel a connection with her in the music and thought not again! I must not get my hopes up (while trying to shut my head off)... My friend came in and said that we had to go even though the party had just begun in my mind :( So on my way out the brown eyed angel accompanied me to the door with a little girl in her hands. I put my hand out and introduced myself and checked to see if she wore a ring and to my surprise she didn't! She told me her name and then assured me that the little girl was her little sister (it wouldn't of mattered at all to me anyways)... We kept making eye contact and I was trying to gauge what temperament she might be... I noticed that she was particular about having the keys clean so I figured a possible J type... The way she played showed that she was very disciplined and focused... There was an intensity in her eyes and a cool demeanor in her facial expression that seemed more aloof which made me think INTJ at first...

Well a couple weeks later we befriended each other on facebook and she has invited me out and told me to come by any time... After talking with her I know for sure now that she is definitely an INFJ (will introduce her to MBTI to confirm)... So my thoughts are I will pursue this possibility and see where the road may lead with a new friend :) I have quieted the storm in my head so I can think clearly, but I do on occasion skip up and down with a sqweek of delight at the thought; followed shortly by my head bringing my heart back down to earth...
 

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Dude, I so remember reading your story months ago. Best stories I've read on PerC in the last two years. Hands down. I'm still going to wait patiently for the ENFP woman to step into my life and I'm going to make sure she gets treated like a queen.

I hope the best for you with your situation.. keep us informed!!!! :laughing:
 

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S,

I am soooooo incredibly excited for you! It seems fall is the time of year for romance to start ripening! You will definately have to keep me updated on this one because so far it sounds wonderful (and well written I might add). Let me know if you ever want to grab a cup-of-joe and discuss!

K
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
whoa, what a lovely experience. But I don't see how anyone ever notices an INFJ, amidst all of the louder types and granted, often INFJs play the extrovert. Im INFJ and find it difficult to find my type.
Well most don't I think; INFJ's seem like deep thinkers that don't let on that there is much going on in their head... I didn't think she was an INFJ because she had a good poker face; but I could tell she was a deep thinker... As an extrovert it is always is the quiet ones that are the most mysterious/interesting to me... Some INFJs have short bursts of being outgoing and friendly but it is rare to see that (ussualy have to be close). The hardest thing in the world is getting past that first layer and building enough trust for them to show themselves : ( But I am am very patient and persistent (at a distance); if something happens great if nothing comes of it no big deal. The price of love is grief in the end anyways; whether it is divorce or death... It is about enjoying the good times and accepting the bad times just as well. Most well prepared meals have a nice balance of the sweet and the salty.
 

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The ENFP hunt for INFJs is on and will never stop. Our amazing-ness(according to them) and limited numbers are too attractive to them. :crazy:......all joking aside though, i hope things do go well for you and you find your soulmate.

whoa, what a lovely experience. But I don't see how anyone ever notices an INFJ, amidst all of the louder types and granted, often INFJs play the extrovert. Im INFJ and find it difficult to find my type.
i know what you mean. i am constantly trying to make sure i am not another type. i use extroverted feeling have gone through all 4 to make sure ESFJ(i am not a sensor and i am on the internet most the day) ENFJ(i am introverted) and ISFJ (my mistype. i have the worse introverted sensing in the world. made a futile mistake of not enough research) INFJ (it fits. i feel at home but wish i was an extrovert)
 

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*almost crying* That was a very beautiful story! She definitely sounds like an INFJ. Why? Because she sounds like it, and she sounds almost exactly like me.

The same thing happened a long time ago before I met my current ISTP boyfriend. Our church was starting to hold a spring break activity for teens. City Serve. We volunteered throughout the community, having loads of fun. On the last day, we had a lock in. The guy, his friend, and my team coach were playing guitar and singing modern christian songs while I was singing the soprano 1 versions of all of them (On I can only imagine, that is very, very high). He seemed deep in thought. Almost bewildered. He said something along the lines of "Wow, that's high.". Then our eyes met. He had dark brown hair and eyes. *I pulled an all nighter* we and a bunch of other people went in what they call the "canvas room" *the warmest room in a very cold building* and watch Mr and Mrs Smith. Thought the night our eyes kept meeting.

I still don't know if I like him, or the ISTP more. I am just letting it play out and see what happens. (Which, is very hard for me. But I have no choice.)

This soon clicked in my head the reason why he had been so kind to me before. Our group went to McDonalds for ice cream and I was taking videos and he kept playfully jumping in front of the camera, trying to capture my attention. Then later I was locked outside the building, he let me in and held the door open for me. We had long conversations while waiting for everyone else to arrive and letting them in (We were the first ones there.).

Your story is so inspiring and familiar to me that it almost moved me to tears. It is so much like my own. I hope things work out for you.

P.S. She may be thinking about you as much or more than you her. Our intuition and planning ahead pesters us constantly about matters like this.
 

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That was such a beautiful account with this woman!! I really enjoyed reading your story!! No matter what type of gal she is...obviously you're attracted to her. Meaning..even if she wasn't an INFJ..that should never stop a person from just going for it.

In a way, I feel like I'm in the same boat as you. I've met this guy at a new church I've been going to and I keep reading into things to figure out what type he is. He's outgoing (Hanging out with people all the time an doing all these things to keep busy..) He talks quite a bit too. So Extrovert. (I like to talk but I love to listen to him talk...so dreamy XD) I've met sensing people before...they seem to be very in touch with everything around them. Met this one guy who would go on and on about every single thing he saw when we went for a walk. Bags floating in trees, bugs crawling around, etc. But this guy? Nothing so far..it's hard to tell so I'm pinning him as intuitive. Although he does say comments like "that suits you as you seem to be a critical thinker", "why are you fidgeting around so much? Are you having a Skizo moment?" (ha ha ha *wipes tears*) Then there's the F and T...which I'm not sure about yet. He's majoring in Poli-Sci and Sociology. Praise the Lord he's not another electrical engineer clone!! Then there's J and P...we were talking the other day about organizational habits actually. He says he's an organized person. Although organization isn't all what the j is about. There's the cognitive functions to take into account (Which I don't understand). But he also seems to be very go with the flow. "Hey do you want to join us for wings afterwards?" Or how he walked me home which was 11 blocks away from where he lives.. that wasn't planned at all. A possible Perceiver? It's exciting when..I don't have something going on and I can do random things that I wasn't planning at all. *Squeals with excitement*


Oh romance and love...how I love it all!! Keep us posted!! I'd love to hear how the situation is panning out.

And by the way. You have it on the nail about patience. It pays off big time in the long run.
 

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You know, I hardly ever come on this site like I usually do for personal and spiritual reasons but it's always a pleasure to hear from a fellow Christian and a musician about this kind of stuff; the nostalgia now ends for you! Hooray! It's a great to hear from you and it's always a great read when you post.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
That was such a beautiful account with this woman!! I really enjoyed reading your story!! No matter what type of gal she is...obviously you're attracted to her. Meaning..even if she wasn't an INFJ..that should never stop a person from just going for it.

In a way, I feel like I'm in the same boat as you. I've met this guy at a new church I've been going to and I keep reading into things to figure out what type he is. He's outgoing (Hanging out with people all the time an doing all these things to keep busy..) He talks quite a bit too. So Extrovert. (I like to talk but I love to listen to him talk...so dreamy XD) I've met sensing people before...they seem to be very in touch with everything around them. Met this one guy who would go on and on about every single thing he saw when we went for a walk. Bags floating in trees, bugs crawling around, etc. But this guy? Nothing so far..it's hard to tell so I'm pinning him as intuitive. Although he does say comments like "that suits you as you seem to be a critical thinker", "why are you fidgeting around so much? Are you having a Skizo moment?" (ha ha ha *wipes tears*) Then there's the F and T...which I'm not sure about yet. He's majoring in Poli-Sci and Sociology. Praise the Lord he's not another electrical engineer clone!! Then there's J and P...we were talking the other day about organizational habits actually. He says he's an organized person. Although organization isn't all what the j is about. There's the cognitive functions to take into account (Which I don't understand). But he also seems to be very go with the flow. "Hey do you want to join us for wings afterwards?" Or how he walked me home which was 11 blocks away from where he lives.. that wasn't planned at all. A possible Perceiver? It's exciting when..I don't have something going on and I can do random things that I wasn't planning at all. *Squeals with excitement*


Oh romance and love...how I love it all!! Keep us posted!! I'd love to hear how the situation is panning out.

And by the way. You have it on the nail about patience. It pays off big time in the long run.
It is too hard to resist analyizing folks for sure!! It is probably my favorite hobby; we should make a sport of it with all sorts of levels of skills... Or maybe someone should create a board game regarding MBTI! I am in a wacky mood right now don't mind me... Just trying to stay distracted! That fellow sounds intriguing I must say.... He sounds very analytical from what you have stated... I am organized in some areas because of my Te function and yet very free spirited in other areas... If he seems to be a person that gets excited about possibilities and creative bents he might be an ENFP... If he has skills that aren't devoloped but natural he might be an ENFP... Hard telling even with plenty of interaction... Maybe you can study the ENFP forums to see if he is like the rest of us kooks! Hahaha
 

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And even more of a coincidence.

The guy from my version of your experience, I am thinking he might be an ENFP. It's too early to tell right now, I haven't had a chance to actually talk to him much.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
beautiful story!!
and i may be missing out, but why exactly are ENFP's so attracted to INFJ's?
Well it's hard to describe it but the interaction is so darn rare I tell you (for me at least)! It is hard to describe the interaction but it seems intense... From a theory perspective I think it has to do with intuition being are primary functions... INFJ's use intuition introvertedly and we use it extrovertedly... Now the 5th function is the INFJ's first function and vice versa; so it is almost like a case of opposites attracting . Alll I really know is the 3 girls I have fallen head over heals for turned out to be INFJ's... The first one I met I didn't know anything about MBTI and it led me to many studies in these areas to try and figure out why I was so infatuated with this girl (then I descovered MBTI)... It was an attraction on many different levels... I would prefer a more stable frame of mind because it is exhausting otherwise..
 

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after reading your story i tried to convince my ex to take the test and she wouldn't lol
she said "i don't want anymore of your mind games. i'm tired of being analyzed."
personally i'm guessing an enfp haha but i need to kno for sure! i would love to find another girl who shared a similar attitude but just without... eh
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
Well I find that it is sensors that hate being analyzed; my ex was similar... Intuitives love theory and things of that nature :)
 
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